One of the most important books I’ve ever read is Dionne Brand’s A Map to the Door of No Return. I used to teach it but it’s been a while so I’ll have to paraphrase and hope I’m remembering right. Brand examines the legacy of Atlantic slavery and the impossibility of undoing the damage, the traumatic rupture Black people experienced after being trafficked out of Africa and enslaved for centuries. We can’t go back “home,” but wherever we landed around the world, we developed cultures that encouraged “way-finding”—we searched for or made maps (sometimes in the stars) that would lead us to freedom (or at least someplace better).

With zero fanfare, I released The Map of Doors this week. After having a terrible experience with IngramSpark, I went back to Amazon; you can find the hardcover, paperback, and ebook there. I’ve been looking at the map of France a lot over the past few months and think I’ve narrowed down my first destination. I put my condo on the market and our first viewings are tomorrow. My visa application is underway and I canceled the one in-person school visit I scheduled for March. I haven’t decided whether I’ll store my furniture and ship it to France or try to sell it before I go. One moment I feel like I could let everything go, and the next day I struggle to imagine parting with my heirlooms and more recent purchases. Does holding onto things make you free? No. Could I start from scratch and build a beautiful home somewhere else? Yes.

I consulted my astrologer and my psychic and they both approved the move. I was advised to get my health in order so tried to get three vaccines this week but only succeeded in getting one. A sign of things to come, I suspect. With subsidies slashed, I likely won’t be able to afford even an awful bronze health plan through the government marketplace next year. If this artist visa is approved, I’ll be able to stay in France for up to four years. Both psychic and astrologer saw Rome in my future so who knows where I’ll go next.

Do I feel guilty about leaving when the country’s in crisis? No. And I’ll definitely come back…there’s a tradition of African Americans seeking sanctuary in France. I’ve got pictures of Josephine Baker throughout my apartment…no banana skirt for me, but she blazed a trail and found empowerment as an expat-–something I admire. WEB DuBois fought for a lifetime before renouncing his US citizenship. He died shortly after moving to Ghana. I want more than 2 years of freedom but as my friends struggle to move abroad, I recognize my relative privilege: no dependents, an asset I can sell to fund my move, the ability to speak French at least a little. I’m pretty sure I qualify for the artist visa but I wouldn’t have become a published author if I hadn’t left Canada for the US thirty years ago. We search for a way to be free, to grow, to thrive. I’m grateful for all the doors I knocked on that were opened for me…and also the ones that stayed shut, prompting me to move…

I’m not supposed to share the cover of A Song for Juneteenth, but you can get a 25% discount today if you preorder it from Barnes & Noble on September 5. Use the code PREORDER25! Not sure if there will be interest in my books in France, but I’ve already started writing a picture book set in Tours…

Zetta Elliott

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