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Site title: Women & Children Last – politics, satire, horoscopes, & more
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Aries (March 21 – April 19) The stars suggest you will start three new projects today and finish none of them. Mercury is in retrograde, but honestly, that is just your excuse for replying “k” to your mom’s heartfelt text. Your lucky number is however many cups of coffee it takes to admit you have a problem.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Today you will spend f...
Alabama – Every “closed for repairs” sign is really code for “the possums are running again.”
Alaska – Locals measure emotional intimacy by how many moose they let you complain in front of.
Arizona – Every cactus has overheard at least one embarrassing confession and none have forgiven any.
Arkansas – The state bird is...
Welcome to a Satirical US Atlas—a cartographic fever dream. Fifty states, fifty fictional monuments, each more unhinged than the last. No SEO‑optimized travel tips, no real history, just a possum juggling chainsaws in Alabama and a ranch dressing geyser in Wyoming. Proceed only if your algorithmic soul can handle the absurd.</...
Once a year, on To Thine Own Self Be True Day, people attempt the impossible: being honest with themselves for more than seven consecutive seconds. This day honors the famously long-winded Polonius, who offered this advice moments before being used as Elizabethan drywall.
Modern celebrants begin by vowing to “live aut...
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has announced that it will feature the first ever Mormon cover model. The magazine, which has already paraded transwomen, old past-their-prime women (Martha Stewart) and the occasional plus-size pioneer, has decided that the time has come to showcase a woman rocking colorful temple garments on the beach.
“We have always bel...
