Are you trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle? Is one of the ways you’re looking to do that by changing your relationship with alcohol? You’re not alone! So many of us are taking a long, hard look at what we’re drinking and how much of it we’re drinking when we decide to make personal wellness a priority. You might be asking yourself – how much alcohol is it safe to drink? Are there healthier choices when it comes to drinking alcohol? What should I avoid? And is there a way to maintain that perfect balance between just enough and too much when it comes to you and your cocktail glass?

We have answers for you on how much is too much alcohol, what your healthiest alcohols are, how much alcohol is safe for the liver, and more. Be prepared though, the answers might surprise you and go against everything you’ve heard up until now. This will be an eye-opening and enlightening read, for sure. Buckle up and get ready!

Why are we wondering how much alcohol is it safe to drink?

It’s funny that we find ourselves questioning how much alcohol it is safe to drink in the first place. There aren’t many other things we ingest regularly that we try to rationalize or justify overusing.

Have you deliberated on whether you should have another glass of water? Have you tried to talk yourself out of that pomegranate juice? Questioned if that smoothie is really necessary? Probably not. And we seem to almost inherently know which drinks we should limit – soda, coffee, lemonade, etc.

But for some reason, alcohol seems to tread this line where we know we should limit our intake but we also want to excuse overindulging in alcohol. We want to see it as harmless fun. But for some reason, we can’t. Why is that?

The stigma of drinking too much

The idea that we might not be in control of our drinking is problematic to most of us. We fear what that might mean. There is still so much stigma around alcohol overuse. We don’t assign labels to those who drink too much coffee or soda, even though caffeine is also a legal drug that we consume regularly. And the wellness police will definitely tell us that we should limit our caffeine intake. Yet those same advocates will also proudly promote Yoga Bends and Brews. The mixed messaging and double standards around drinking alcohol – or not drinking it – can make it so difficult to decide what a healthy relationship with alcohol even looks like. How are we ever supposed to know how much alcohol is it safe to drink?

Learn more about alcohol, marketing, and how to find control over it

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How much is too much alcohol?

You might be thinking, just give it to me straight, how much is too much alcohol? And I wish I could but the answer really depends on who you ask.

Wait, what does that even mean? Well, the World Health Organization would tell you that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption. That means there is no level of drinking where the perceived benefits outweigh the risks. And the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA), agrees. In January 2023, they released guidelines that state that no amount of alcohol is safe. They now recommend no more than two drinks a week for men and women.

Other countries have different guidelines from up to 21 drinks a week down to less than 10. Oh and then there’s the issue of defining what makes up a standard drink. That also will vary from place to place.

Everything is clear as mud now, isn’t it?

What is the safest amount of alcohol to drink?

The idea of safe drinking is often so misunderstood and can really pull a number on our mindset. We want to convince ourselves that as long as we follow the rules based on our gender, weight, age, activity level, nationality, and all of these other factors we can somehow make an unsafe, addictive substance healthier and safer for us.

That just isn’t going to happen and science does support the fact that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption. Any amount of alcohol use comes with health risks and there just isn’t an amount that provides more benefits than it does risks. Not what you were expecting to hear about how much alcohol it is safe to drink, was it?

That doesn’t mean you can’t drink at all

Knowing that there is no safe level of drinking doesn’t mean that you can’t drink at all. Everything we do in life comes with risks. We may not realize it but we do a risk vs benefit analysis before doing most things. We choose between the salad and the bacon burger at the restaurant because we know that lettuce could have E. Coli on it but processed and red meats are bad for you too. Netflix and chill or go for a run? Finish the book or hit the hay?

Instead of focusing on a specific “safe” amount of alcohol, pay attention to how alcohol affects your own body and mind. How do you feel after you drink? How do you want to feel? Would drinking less or not at all improve your mental or physical well-being? That after all is what a wellness journey is really about so paying attention to the clues our bodies and minds give us when we do drink is way more valuable than adhering to a chart someone devised. That does require you to be brutally honest with yourself about your drinking habits. You’ll have to tune into, rather than numb, your instincts when it comes to deciding how much (or how little) to drink.

What is the healthiest alcohol?

You can probably already guess how the answer to this question is going to go based on the fact that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption. This is sort of like asking what the healthiest cigarette is. There really isn’t one. A handful of studies exist that say that alcohol MAY have some health benefits.

In contrast, there are more than 100 studies that prove the harm of alcohol for every ten proving a benefit.

It turns out that the media is more likely to report the heart benefits of alcohol than the risks associated with drinking it. And they have an excellent reason for doing that – their advertising budget depends upon it. You need to look no further than at who is sponsoring their programming to determine which way their reporting will sway as well. The alcohol companies hold the purse strings so they also influence what is getting air time. A hard-hitting research piece on the dangers of regular alcohol use isn’t good for business so it doesn’t get much if any, air time! They don’t want us to know how much alcohol it is safe to drink!

What about red wine?

You’ve probably heard that red wine is good for you. Those benefits have been overreported and aren’t realistic when applied to real-world settings. Scientists at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine analyzed information from around 800 men and women aged 65 and older. The participants’ diets were naturally rich in resveratrol from food. They measured the amounts of metabolized resveratrol that showed up in the participants’ urine, expecting to see high levels of resveratrol among the healthiest people. But that didn’t happen. Even the researchers were surprised to discover that there was no link between resveratrol levels and the rates of heart disease, cancer, and death.

How much wine would it take to see heart health benefits?

Dr. David Sinclair, a professor of genetics at Harvard Medical School, is a pioneer in resveratrol research. In 2003, the research conducted by him and fellow researchers found that resveratrol had many health benefits in mice including increasing cell survival, slowing aging, preventing skin cancer, protecting against high blood pressure, heart failure, and heart disease in mice, and more.

Astounding and encouraging news, right? This MUST mean alcohol really is good for the heart! Not quite.

The dose of resveratrol administered in experiments is always much higher than you’d normally consume in a daily diet. Dr. Sinclair explains that – “You would need to drink a hundred to a thousand glasses of red wine to equal the doses that improve health in mice.”

What alcohol should you avoid?

If alcohol isn’t healthy for you, no matter what, you might be wondering if there are certain alcohols that are worse for you than others. Should we be avoiding certain drinks altogether? That really depends on you and how you define your wellness. Many mindful drinkers avoid beer because of how high it is in empty calories and the fact that it is packed full of congeners, chemical components that contribute to hangovers.

And others are more concerned with what they are mixing their drink with – sodas, simple syrups, and fruit juices – are all packed with sugar and can cause the crash post-drinking to be even worse. Alcohol does a number on our blood glucose levels without mixers so adding these to the concoctions really ups the ante. 

What makes alcohol unhealthy?

What is it that makes alcohol so bad for you though? There’s no way we could cover it all today but I do want to give you some highlights. The main reason scientists believe alcohol is harmful is due to acetaldehyde. When we drink alcohol the body has to metabolize it somehow. It does that with everything we ingest and it turns it into something else. Alcohol becomes acetaldehyde, a chemical that is not only toxic to cells but actually damages DNA and prevents the body from repairing that damage.

That’s only the beginning though. In a study conducted by Kathryn Cottingham, a Dartmouth College researcher, people who reported drinking on average two and a half beers or a glass of white wine every day had arsenic levels 20 to 30 percent higher than those of people who didn’t drink. Long-term exposure to arsenic, even at low levels, has been linked to increased risks of bladder, lung, and skin cancer, as well as type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

If the arsenic in the alcohol doesn’t phase you – how do you feel about drinking RoundUp? Alcohol comes from fermented fruit and grains. We all know that bugs & weeds wreak havoc on crops and that they are treated heavily with herbicides and pesticides. What we fail to realize is those chemicals are also prevalent in the alcohol we are drinking. A study conducted on 5 wines and 15 beers found glyphosate in all but one of the beers – including the organic beers and wines tested!!  Even more alarming is that regular alcohol consumption increases your absorption of herbicides, pesticides and other toxins through the skin. 

Ethanol-free in your tank but not your body

This is the factoid that is most alarming and mindset-shifting for most folks – alcohol is that it is ethanol. Yes – the same regular, plus, or premium fuel we pump into our vehicle is the compound we are drinking in alcohol. You don’t romanticize having a nice long sip from the gas siphon but we play up what that glass of wine or beer will do for us. At a chemical level, our fuel and our drink are the same. In overall purity and quality, the fuel ethanol may not rank as high as the ethanol used as a beverage but the difference is negligible.

How do we know how much alcohol to drink?

All this information can be startling and a little scary. It’s not meant to frighten you though. The idea is to raise your awareness. To become mindful of what is in your drinks, what it does to your body, and how you can control it.

Raising awareness and mindfulness is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s also hard to discern what you need to know and how to go about dismantling all the beliefs and fallacies your drinking has been based upon!

You don’t have to conquer that journey alone. This Naked Mind has endless resources to help you. Take advantage of our free app, podcasts, articles, blogs, and more to take charge of your relationship with alcohol. Go from wondering how much alcohol it is safe to drink to drinking as little or as much as you want to. Live life fully and happily in control. Awake, aware, and present.

Julia’s relationship with alcohol started in childhood. Modeled after what she grew up with. Reinforced by the traumas she continued to experience in her life. She never imagined that one day she’d be writing about finding freedom with The Alcohol Experiment but her relationship with alcohol has been forever changed.

Growing up

My father is an alcoholic. He was our role model, and we are his kids through and through. Myself and my siblings were impacted by this upbringing. We succumbed in our own way to developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Once I was 18 years old, and still living with my parents, I grew up drinking a small glass of wine with dinner on a Sunday. I lived with my parents until I was 27 years old. I escaped from watching my father destroy himself with alcohol by playing and studying the piano morning, noon, and night when I wasn’t at my full-time job as a secretary.

Transitions

At 27 while on holiday with girlfriends in Greece, I met a man and I moved to live with him in Vienna, Austria. We married and had two children. It was a very happy time and wine featured as an accompaniment to dinner each weekend. Our divorce came when the children were aged 5 and 2. I lived alone with them until I met another man when the children were 13 and 10 years old. He appeared to be perfect and we moved in to live together. The wine was still insignificant in my life and I was still drinking a little at weekends with dinner. But life became difficult with this man, I was afraid of him, and I began to sit in the car before going into the house and taking a few sips from a bottle of vodka.

Leaving

Then the nightmare began. It took three years before I realized that he was a narcissistic sociopath. My children and I were terrified of him. I made an appointment to talk to the Staff Counsellor in my workplace who told me we needed to leave. That meeting was on a Thursday. I told her that he was going to another country on business the following week. The Staff Counsellor said, “You are moving out”. I was fuelled by making the logistic plan in my head and how to move. I hired a truck company to come and remove all of our belongings to storage and I told the children to go to school and leave their front door key on the kitchen counter the next day. The children went to bed and I heard each of them singing. We left and never went back.

Luckily, I had my own house which I had rented out. The tenants very kindly agreed to break the rent contract and move out so that the children and I could move back in. Unfortunately, I went straight back to work the next day when I should really have taken a couple of months off work to mentally and psychologically repair myself.

Alcohol sets the trap

Over time, I began to drink wine and found the numbing effects quite cathartic. As anyone who has experienced drinking alcohol to numb their pain will be aware that you just want more and more to get the same feelings of relief. I was blissfully unaware of the damage I was inflicting on myself, I ignored the signs. My children moved out of the house to pursue their university studies and my drinking increased. Nothing seemed to matter anymore to me. I was so desperately lonely. I spent my life living in my family home and then creating and caring for my own family. Now it is their time to begin their separate lives. I was in deep despair.

Because it was all I knew, I kept working in the office 40 hours a week and drinking every evening. I got completely lost as a human being and totally lost my way. One day recently I woke up and said that I do not want this anymore.

This Naked Mind saved my life

I came across This Naked Mind and the videos of Annie Grace. Dear Annie, your videos literally saved my life. I read everything on sobriety that I could find. The moment that the significance of being sober dawned on me was the biggest awakening of my life and a joyous moment.

Start reading This Naked Mind for free right now! You can find freedom from alcohol too!

When I realized that I was drinking a whole bottle of wine in the evening and opening another bottle it took quite a long time for me to realize that this was not ok. Whenever I felt this emotion I would stop drinking, but it only lasted a few days, until the next trigger, and I would buy more wine. When I joined The Alcohol Experiment, the sense of freedom and control, living in the present moment, was a joy to me and the answer to my prayers.

I found Annie on the Internet when I became aware that was a good place to look for resources to control my drinking. Years ago, I went to one AA meeting and it was awful, and very depressing. The people were very depressing, with no sunny, smiling faces. I left and never went back, it was not the right forum for me.

Finding Freedom with The Alcohol Experiment

Finding freedom with The Alcohol Experiment has saved my life. I joined it 15 days ago. Two times I gave in to the temptation of drinking red wine. However, I did NOT enjoy the taste or the negative emotions that accompanied those bottles of poison. I will persevere with The Alcohol Experiment, I am just a human being, and I love the word “experiment” because that is exactly how I view the process.

I formed a bad habit over a decade and I am fully cognizant that it takes time and effort to completely eliminate this habit and change to a new habit. The days when I have been alcohol-free in the past 15 days were WONDERFUL, every day was a truly great day. I will keep going. Today is a great day, when I live in the present moment and make a conscious choice, all is well. The two times I caved were most unpleasant, they were not happy evenings. When I examined my feelings, I was lonely and afraid that I will always be alone. I am now 60 years old (technically a Senior!), but I am very sociable and love people. I don’t understand why I live alone and I have no clue how to meet a partner. My hobbies are solitary.

Creating a life outside of alcohol

I have persevered in creating life outside of my home. Going to the cinema with a friend, or to the theatre alone. Calling a girlfriend to chat when I feel lonely and down really cheers me up. I have joined a gym and got a personal trainer. Three times a week I train with a girlfriend, it is really fun. If I have no plan in the evening I put on my shoes, grab my phone, and go for a 10-mile walk listening to podcasts. A new habit is being formed to replace the old habit of drinking wine out of boredom and I love it. I am excited to increase the level of fun activities. Each morning I wake up saying “Today is a GREAT day!” and then it is.

Looking back on life before The Alcohol Experiment

If I could tell my old self one thing, it would be that I understand the pain she endured and her coping method was to self-medicate with wine, it seemed harmless at the time, but I know that she had to go through that experience to come out the other side and my new self is creating a great life full of possibilities and embracing each day with a smile and positive attitude. It really helps.

Share your story of finding freedom

Do you have your own story of finding freedom with The Alcohol Experiment,  our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

So you want to drink less without quitting drinking alcohol altogether! You’re in the right place and you’re not alone! Thank goodness we finally live in a time where we can change our relationship with alcohol without needing to announce we have a problem with it. You can decide you want to drink less for any reason that feels right to you and without needing to justify or explain it to anyone. But doing that will still have its challenges and we want to make drinking less without quitting alcohol completely easier on you! Read on to learn how!

Introduction: What are the Benefits of Limiting Alcohol Consumption?

Limiting your alcohol consumption can have a wide range of benefits for both your health and overall well-being. Drinking less without quitting can help you reduce your risk of developing serious illnesses, such as liver disease, multiple forms of cancer, and even heart disease. (shocking, right? Alcohol is supposed to be good for your heart – right?? WRONG!!)

Drinking less can also help you improve your mental health and reduce the amount of stress in your life. (Because alcohol actually increases the amount of cortisol -the stress hormone – in your body!) By reducing alcohol intake, you can also lower the risk of accidents and injuries caused by intoxication. 5.1% of the global burden of disease and injury is attributable to alcohol, as measured in disability-adjusted life years (DALYs). Finally, reducing alcohol consumption can help you to save money and improve relationships with family and friends.

Tips & Tricks to Cut Down Your Drinking Habits

Reducing your drinking habits can feel difficult at first. For many of us, drinking is a common and regular part of our daily lives. But with the right tips and tricks, you can make a positive change in your life and cut down on alcohol consumption.

Let’s look at how to drink less without quitting entirely. What are some different strategies that can help you limit your drinking habits and reduce the amount of alcohol you consume on a regular basis? Are there any potential benefits of cutting down on alcohol consumption, such as improved mental health and physical well-being? Make the most of these proven tips for staying motivated to keep up with your new reduced drinking habits.

Understanding the truth about alcohol and how it affects us, rather than simply trying to control our drinking through willpower or restriction can be the greatest tool in learning how to drink less without quitting drinking.

Here are some tips and tricks on how to drink less without quitting (and be happy about it!):

1. Educate yourself about the truth about alcohol: It’s important to understand how alcohol affects our bodies and minds, as well as the marketing tactics and societal pressures that promote alcohol consumption. By becoming informed, you can start to challenge the beliefs and attitudes that may be influencing your drinking habits.
2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help you tune into your body and reduce stress and anxiety, which are often triggers for excessive drinking.
3. Focus on the positive benefits of drinking less: Instead of thinking of drinking less as a sacrifice or punishment, try to focus on the positive benefits of reducing alcohol use in your life. Are you noticing improvements to your physical health? Have you been sleeping better? Is the three o’clock slump a thing of the past for you? Have you noticed clearer thinking? Or are your relationships becoming stronger and more fulfilling?
4. Find new ways to socialize: Many of us use alcohol as a social lubricant, but there are plenty of other ways to connect with friends and family without relying on alcohol. Consider trying new activities like hiking, cooking classes, or game nights, or simply enjoy each other’s company without any substances involved.
5. Don’t isolate yourself: Whether it’s through a support group, therapy, or simply talking to friends and family, it’s important to seek out support when making changes to your drinking habits. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your goals can make all the difference.

Focus on this…

Remember, reducing your alcohol intake and drinking less is not about depriving yourself of pleasure, but rather about reclaiming control of your life and well-being. By focusing on the positive benefits of being alcohol-free more often and practicing mindfulness, you can break free from the negative patterns that may be holding you back and start living your best life every day.

The Science Behind Limiting Your Alcohol Intake

Drinking alcohol is a common pastime in many cultures, but it can have serious consequences if it is not enjoyed responsibly. That’s why it’s important to know the science behind limiting your alcohol intake and reducing your drinking habits. It’s not only possible to cut down on your alcohol consumption without having to quit entirely, but it can also be sustained long-term. Let’s explore the science of limiting drinking habits, why it’s important to do so, and how to drink less without feeling deprived. By understanding the science behind limiting your alcohol intake, you can make healthier choices and still enjoy an occasional drink with your friends if you choose to.

Alcohol affects the brain and the body and it can be so difficult to moderate drinking for some people. So if you’re looking to drink less without quitting drinking altogether, you should still consider starting by stopping drinking.

Why it can be hard to drink less without quitting

Most of us need time to reset our minds, body, beliefs, and habits. Most people have found they need at least 3-6 months before they get to a point where they feel as if they can reintroduce alcohol in a healthy and controlled way into their lives. You can kick-start taking a break and learning how to make healthy habits and belief changes by participating in the forever-free Alcohol Experiment.  Join for a  judgment-free action plan to see what life with less alcohol is like. The rules are simple: Take a break from drinking for 30 days and just see how you feel. Where you go from there is up to you!

One of the reasons it’s a good idea to take a break from alcohol and reshape our beliefs is the idea of the “alcohol deprivation effect.” This is the phenomenon where the more you try to restrict or deprive yourself of alcohol, the stronger the cravings for it become. This is because alcohol stimulates the reward centers in the brain, and when you deprive yourself of it, your brain goes into overdrive trying to get you to seek it out.

So in order to be able to learn how to drink less without quitting, you first have to retrain the brain to stop seeing alcohol as a reward.

The brain adapts

That’s where neuroplasticity comes into play. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change and adapt based on experiences and behaviors. By consistently reducing your alcohol intake, you can actually rewire your brain to crave alcohol less and enjoy it less when you do drink it.

Self-awareness and mindfulness are also extremely beneficial tools when limiting your alcohol intake. By paying attention to your thoughts and feelings around alcohol, you can better understand your triggers and develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with stress or other emotions. So you’re able to drink less without quitting because you’re no longer using alcohol to numb yourself and your feelings.

By understanding the science behind alcohol and its effects on the body and mind, and by practicing mindfulness and self-awareness, it is possible to drink less and in turn, improve your overall health and well-being.

How to Set Realistic Goals and Stay Motivated

Drinking less alcohol can seem overwhelming and difficult when you’re first getting started. That’s why it’s important to set realistic goals to stay motivated. Staying motivated to drink less is difficult if it constantly feels like you’re failing rather than seeing any progress with your journey. But in our all-or-nothing perfection-driven society, it can be hard to gauge progress when the goal is to drink less rather than not drink at all. So how can you make sure you stay motivated on your quest to drink less without quitting drinking completely?

When it comes to setting realistic goals and staying motivated to reduce your alcohol intake, we’d like to offer some helpful tips and strategies:

Set achievable goals: Instead of setting unrealistic goals like quitting alcohol cold turkey, set achievable goals that are specific and measurable. For example, you could decide on a percentage that you’d like to reduce your drinking by and aim to hit that number. If you usually drink daily you could reduce your drinking by 53% by only drinking 3 days a week. And in a year you’ll have been alcohol-free for 57% of it. That’s pretty impressive!

Keep a journal: Tracking your progress in a journal can help you stay motivated and see how far you’ve come. Write down your goals, your progress, and any challenges or setbacks you face along the way.

Celebrate your successes: When you achieve a goal or make progress toward your goal, celebrate your successes. This could be something as simple as treating yourself to a nice meal or buying yourself a small gift.

Find support: This Naked Mind has built an entire community that celebrates changing your relationship with alcohol in the way you see fit. We don’t preach perfection and instead focus on how you feel about your relationship with alcohol. You can join us in the This Naked Mind Companion App and find support and motivation at your fingertips whenever and wherever you need it. Inside you’ll also find helpful mini-courses, podcasts, over 700 videos, and more!

We’re not done yet…

Be specific: When setting a goal, be as specific as possible. Instead of saying “I want to drink less,” try saying “I want to limit my alcohol consumption to two drinks per week.”

Make a plan: Once you’ve set your goal, make a plan for how you’re going to achieve it. This could include setting aside certain days of the week when you won’t drink, finding alternative activities to do instead of drinking, or enlisting the help of a support group or therapist.

Track your progress (if it works for you): Keep track of your progress towards your goal, and celebrate each milestone along the way. This could mean tracking the number of days you go without drinking or the number of drinks you have in a week. And if counting days isn’t your thing, track your progress in a way that does work for you. It could be days you wake feeling refreshed, days you exercised, or whatever changes you notice as a result of drinking less.

Stay accountable: Find someone who can hold you accountable for your goals, whether it’s a friend, family member, or support group. Sharing your progress and struggles with someone else can help you stay motivated and on track.

By setting achievable goals, keeping a journal, celebrating successes, finding support, practicing self-care, and focusing on the positive, you can stay motivated and on track to reducing your alcohol intake and improving your overall well-being. Remember, change takes time and effort, but with the right mindset and support, it is possible to achieve your goals.

Non-Alcoholic Alternatives To Replace Booze So You Can Drink Less Without Quitting

For many adults, alcoholic drinks are engrained into every social occasion. Luckily, it is becoming increasingly popular to opt for non-alcoholic alternatives that still offer the same kind of taste and experience. Whether you’re looking for mocktail recipes for special occasions or healthy drinks that taste good, there is a wide range of non-alcoholic options available to replace booze. In this section, we will explore the different types of non-alcoholic drinks that can be used as alternatives to alcoholic beverages and answer some common questions and concerns about them. We will also give you links to our library of mocktail recipes including some that provide health benefits to you. Remember that these drinks can be used in various social settings to create a unique and enjoyable experience without alcohol.

Nowadays there are a variety of non-alcoholic alternatives to replace booze that can help you reduce your alcohol intake without sacrificing the pleasure and social aspects of drinking.

These include:

Sparkling water: Sparkling water with a slice of lime or lemon can be a refreshing and hydrating alternative to alcoholic beverages. However with the increasing number of “hard” or spiked offerings available it is important to double-check the ABV before consuming these!

Herbal tea: Herbal teas, such as chamomile or peppermint, can be a relaxing and soothing alternative to alcohol, particularly in the evening. Hot, iced, or mixed with lemonade these drinks are tasty. Certain teas also provide health benefits from digestion issues to heart health!

Kombucha: Kombucha is a fermented tea that has a tangy flavor and can provide a similar sensation to drinking alcohol. Once again, hard kombuchas are gaining popularity so read those labels and make sure yours isn’t going to leave you reeling later!

Mocktails: Non-alcoholic cocktails, or “mocktails,” can be made with a variety of juices and mixers and can provide a fun and flavorful alternative to traditional cocktails. Many spirits are now available as alcohol-free options so mimicking your favorite spiked drink is now easy and tasty.

Even more help from This Naked Mind

Each month, This Naked Mind publishes a blog post that offers you mocktail and alcohol-free drink recipes that you can make at home or challenge your favorite mixologist to create for you. Links to all these recipes can be found here.

Non-alcoholic beer and wine: Non-alcoholic beers and wines are becoming increasingly popular and can provide a similar taste to alcoholic beverages without the negative effects. From Heineken to Athletic Brewing to Nosecco, Fre, and more – your options are endless.

The key to finding non-alcoholic alternatives that work for you is to experiment and find what you enjoy. By trying different options and finding non-alcoholic beverages that you look forward to drinking, you can drink less without feeling like you’re missing out. If you’re concerned that non-alcoholic drinks or mocktails might trigger you then choose a drink that feels safe to you. But if you’re craving the flavor of your favorite drink but trying to drink less, go ahead and try the NA version to see if it works for you!

Developing Healthy Habits as Alternatives to Drinking Alcohol

Developing healthy habits can be a powerful tool in learning how to drink less without quitting and improving overall health and well-being. I often emphasize the importance of creating new and positive habits as a way to replace old, negative ones, such as drinking alcohol.

There are many healthy habits that can be developed as alternatives to drinking alcohol.

Here are some examples:

Exercise: Exercise can be a great way to relieve stress and improve mood, which are often reasons people turn to alcohol. Whether it’s going for a run, practicing yoga, or joining a fitness class, finding a form of exercise you enjoy can be a healthy and rewarding alternative to drinking.

Meditation: Meditation can help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, all of which can be triggers for drinking. Taking a few minutes each day to meditate or practice deep breathing exercises can help calm the mind and promote relaxation.

Hobbies: Engaging in hobbies or activities that bring you joy can be a powerful way to reduce alcohol consumption. Whether it’s painting, playing music, or cooking, finding activities that you enjoy and look forward to can provide a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction without the negative effects of alcohol.

Socializing: Socializing with friends and family can be a healthy and rewarding way to connect with others without relying on alcohol. Whether it’s going out to dinner, seeing a movie, or participating in a group activity, finding ways to spend time with loved ones can be a positive and meaningful alternative to drinking.

Developing healthy habits takes time and effort, but it can be a powerful way to reduce alcohol consumption and improve overall health and well-being. By finding activities and behaviors that bring you joy and fulfillment, you can create new and positive habits that replace old, negative ones. With time and practice, these healthy habits can become a natural part of your daily routine, leading to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

How to Avoid Triggers and Drink Less Long-term

Avoiding triggers is a critical component of reducing alcohol consumption and maintaining long-term sobriety. In “This Naked Mind,” I often stress the importance of identifying and avoiding triggers as a way to break the cycle of drinking and develop healthy habits.

Here are some tips for avoiding triggers and learning how to drink less without quitting alcohol completely long-term:

Identify your triggers: The first step in avoiding triggers is to identify what they are. Triggers can be anything that makes you want to drink, such as stress, anxiety, social situations, or even certain people or places.

Plan ahead: Once you’ve identified your triggers, make a plan for how to avoid them. For example, if social situations are a trigger, plan to attend events with sober friends or bring your own non-alcoholic beverages. If stress is a trigger, find healthy ways to cope, such as exercise or meditation.

Change your routine: Changing your routine can be a powerful way to avoid triggers. For example, if you always drink after work, try taking a different route home or engaging in a different activity to break the habit.

Be kind to yourself: Reducing alcohol consumption is a journey, and it’s important to be kind to yourself along the way. If you slip up and have a drink, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow, and get back on track as soon as possible.

Avoiding triggers and reducing alcohol consumption long-term takes time and effort, but it is possible. By identifying your triggers, planning ahead, changing your routine, creating a support system, and being kind to yourself, you can break the cycle of drinking and develop healthy habits that support a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Remember, every step forward is a step towards drinking less and making it effortless to do so!

Marjolein found herself asking “how do I slow down my drinking?” many times throughout the years. She finally decided to get curious about her drinking and discovered freedom from alcohol through This Naked Mind. Her story is one so many of us can relate to. She bravely shares it with us below. May it inspire and encourage you on your journey!

Daily alcohol users

My parents were daily users of alcohol. They used to drink a glass or two or three together when my father arrived home from work. I remember them as very happy and cute together at these intimate moments, sitting next to each other and having nice conversations. This was rare because they grew apart fast and a couple of years later they divorced. It was a very difficult separation with lots of drama on both sides.

I drank my first alcoholic drink, a bottle of beer in college. I’d already left home at this time because of all the drama going on in both my parents’ lives. There was a small party in the student house where I lived at the time. It actually turned into 8 bottles of beer for me that night. Of course, I was very very sick, throwing up and hungover the next morning. That was probably the first time I thought I might need to slow down my drinking. On that day I was determined to “never drink again“.

The epitome of sophistication

From a very early age, I watched the grown-ups in my life, my parents and grandparents, having good conversations and having good and happy times together while drinking wine. Before and during dinner they were drinking wine. I thought of it as very normal and also somewhat sophisticated. They were drinking the wine in beautiful glasses and talking about the wine being very expensive and special. And of course, the more wine, the more jokes, and laughter there was around the table.

When I turned 18 and visited my grandmother for lunch she told me “we are both ordering a good glass of Chardonnay at lunch together” and so we did. It became a tradition. Drinking white wine with my grandmother at lunch. She had been living as a young woman in Rotterdam during World War II and survived the war. But it had been very harsh and poor years during the war. To her, a glass of white wine was a sign of “no more poverty and happy healthy living”.

My social crutch

From a very young age, I remember myself as being an introvert and also being very shy. It had always been difficult for me to find connections among peers in school. I was bullied a lot by my peers and became more and more shy and withdrawn. When my parents divorced at age 15 and their drama became visible to me I felt a lot of loneliness. Looking back on it now I dealt with depression from 15 until about age 20.

When I was 18 I moved out of my mother’s house into a student house in the capital of Holland, Amsterdam. I knew nobody there and had to start from point zero with making friends. Still being very shy and depressed this was very difficult. I remember it as very lonely years. I studied Psychology at the University of Amsterdam but was dealing more with my own anxiety and depression than having a good time.

At age 20 I dropped out of university and instead started working in a restaurant. Here I met some nice and new people my own age, and for the first time, I felt a sense of belonging. After work, these people went out for drinks together every night and invited me to join them. These were very nice times and also times of drinking a lot of alcohol. So, a few years after I started drinking, it became problematic immediately.

I couldn’t handle a lot of alcohol and didn’t like drinking it very much. But because of peer-group behavior, I did drink a lot. Often, way too much. So I was sick and throwing up often. Also, I found myself not being so shy when I drank alcohol. My social anxiety disappeared with every drink I had and suddenly I had more guts to make new friends. So from now on going out, being social, and having a good time meant: drinking alcohol.

My first attempt to slow down my drinking

From age 20 to 25 I drank too often, too much, and got tired of myself soon. I was sick and hungover a lot and ended up in strange people’s beds all the time. Of course, I had to deal with the shame and regret that came along with it too. It didn’t make me all that happy. At age 25 I suddenly got a really good and grown-up job at a very wanted company in Amsterdam. I started working from 9 to 5 and decided to become serious and ambitious from now on.

So, I quit my drinking behaviors. I also fell in love with my current husband here and could finally leave my lonely and depressed times behind me. I don’t remember how I quit my drinking behaviors. It must have been pretty easy because I don’t remember. I just fell in love, stopped being depressed, and quit going out at night. My boyfriend, now husband, didn’t drink a lot so that was easy for me.

The cycle begins again

Slowly in the next few years to follow, I started having a glass of wine or two at dinner together with him and sometimes accompanied by friends. These friends were all drinking wine too and so I switched from booze and beers to wine. This felt a lot more sophisticated as well. And I remembered what my grandmother, who had passed away, taught me about drinking wine years before. In the next years drinking wine became a frequent and nice weekend ritual. Weekends often started on Thursdays or sometimes even, Wednesday nights. I enjoyed these drinking habits and rituals at restaurants of at home together with friends and my husband a lot. I got used to drinking wine soon and became pretty tolerant and also “wise” so I stopped after glass 5 or 6. So no more sickness or throwing up. I found the perfect way of drinking!

Why was this so hard?

When I got pregnant with my first child at age 29 it was logical of course that I had to stop drinking wine for the 9 months to come. I thought that was going to be easy for me. But unfortunately, I couldn’t stop drinking while pregnant. Of course, I knew about the dangers for my unborn child so I only permitted myself 2 or 3 glasses of wine a week. And dreamed about my delivery every day because then I could go back to drinking “normally” again. The same process went on during my second pregnancy at age 31. And in the back of my head, the fear grew slowly of “maybe drinking too much” and “maybe being too dependent on wine”. But it was still a very soft voice that I could easily turn down or shut off.

From age 30 to 45 drinking wine slowly became a daily habit for me. A drank about 2 glasses at the start of the week, to 6 or 7 glasses on weekends. For the last few years, I drank 25-30 glasses of wine a week. In the meanwhile I started my own successful company, raising my two boys into nice young teenagers and still having a happy and strong marriage with my husband. Enjoying life. All going very very well. Being very much in control of my drinking and doing very well in life.

Something has changed

But by turning age 40 I started to notice some strange things going on inside of me. I started to get feelings of depression again. Never felt very happy anymore. I cried a lot. Felt myself being sad and anxious very often. I started taking sleeping pills because I couldn’t sleep during the night anymore. I fell asleep every night very soon, to find myself waking up in the middle of the night at 3 am overwhelmed with fears and anxiety. These were terrible and very frightening nights. I have never before in my life experienced fears of anxiety.

Also, I had very strong wine cravings during the day. My mind was often thinking “when can I have my first glass of wine today?” I tested myself often times online on “alcoholic websites” to answer my question “am I an alcoholic?”. And of course, I knew by now I was drinking too much and my physical and mental complaints were probably due to my drinking.

How do I slow down my drinking?

So I decided to “slow down on my drinking” often during the next years. I came up with several rules for myself from “only drinking on weekends” to “no more than 3 glasses a week”. Of course, all these attempts to cut down on my drinking failed. Eventually finding myself drinking even more glasses of wine than before. My fears and feelings of sadness grew and grew every year. In 2022, I participated in an online “30-days-no-alcohol program”. This was life-changing for me.

For the first time in over 25 years, I could feel how my body and mind felt without alcohol. I felt so powerful and so healthy and strong. I went to the gym and lost some pounds. My fears disappeared like snow in the sun. As did my sadness. I extended the 30 days period to 4 months. Now I had to make a decision about my drinking. And of course, it wasn’t an option to quit the wine forever. All of my friends were still drinking, as was my husband. And life without wine was unimaginable to me. So I started drinking again.

Here we go again

With new rules and determined to only drink on weekends and a maximum of 5 glasses a week. After 6 months I was back where I started. This time more anxious and sad than ever before. I am an alcoholic is what I heard in my head all the time. If I am not able to cut down so I must be. I also started to listen to some podcasts about drinking and quitting alcohol and in one of them somebody mentioned Annie’s book. I downloaded the book the same day on my e-reader. A few days later I quit drinking again. It has been over 4 months now and I am 100% sure that I will never drink again! The book changed my view on alcohol forever.

Start reading and slow down your drinking

You can learn how to slow down your drinking (or even stop completely) with This Naked Mind as well! Download the first chapter for free now!

A new perspective on alcohol

For me, the book was the only thing I needed to finally change my total perspective on alcohol. Of course, I’ve read some more books on the subject and participated in several online programs but it never came to me so very clearly as with This Naked Mind. The book gave me all the insights I needed on the working of addictions in general, the working of dopamine, and the cravings I experienced myself. It became so clear to me that it wasn’t me who was the problem, but the substance itself. It was all so very very clear to me what went wrong all these years. What kind of untrue beliefs about alcohol I had told myself. This Naked Mind really has been life-changing for me!

I no longer need to slow down my drinking

Today I have been sober for over 4 months. This is my third and last quitting-“attempt”. I am so sure of that. I feel free, strong, and self-confident about never drinking again. All of the problems i’ve experienced over the last 5 years have disappeared. No more fears, no more sadness, no more sleepless nights. No more worries about being an alcoholic. And totally different from my prior two attempts to quit drinking, I feel no more loss of “having a nice life”. I know now that all that I have been telling myself about the advantages of alcohol is untrue.

There still are some moments when I see people drinking a glass of wine and I find it so beautiful and wish I could drink a glass. But this time I recognize it as an installed program in my brain and can see it for what it is. A false belief system to which I no longer want to go back. I have lost some pounds again and go to the gym every day because I feel so energetic and need to “do something” with my energy. So balance is yet to come I hope. But I am enjoying my new and sober life very very much.

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Wanting something is just a biological process going on in the brain as an effect of learning. You don’t have to be a slave to your wants! You can create your own happy and healthy habits.

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you get answers on how to slow down your drinking? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

Alcohol consumption has become a normalized social behavior in many societies worldwide. However, for some individuals, the line between moderate and excessive drinking can be blurry, leading to a loss of control over their alcohol intake. Despite their desire to drink less, these individuals often find themselves unable to do so. How many times have you said, “I’ll just have one or two drinks tonight.” only to find you lost count after drink number two? You’re not alone if you find that you break more rules than you make when it comes to how much or how often you drink. Here are five reasons why you may be struggling to control your alcohol intake:

5 Reasons You Can’t Control Your Alcohol Intake

Alcohol is Addictive

One of the primary reasons why you may find it challenging to control your alcohol intake is that alcohol is an addictive substance. Not just to some humans but to all humans. Alcohol has been ranked as the most damaging drug by Professor David Nutt along with other experts, too. Nutt says, “Alcohol is more harmful than heroin or crack when the overall dangers to the individual and society are considered.”

No one is immune from addiction to alcohol. The more you drink, the more you will want to drink. Everyone who drinks now drinks more than they used to; I know this is true because at one time they didn’t drink at all. You and the drinkers you know will be drinking more in five years than you are today—that is how alcohol works.

Alcohol addiction is characterized by the compulsive urge to drink despite negative consequences. Addiction occurs when the brain’s reward system is activated, causing the release of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter, leading to a desire to repeat the behavior.

The more you drink, the more your brain associates alcohol with pleasure, making it challenging to stop drinking. Over time, your brain’s reward system becomes desensitized, and you need to drink more alcohol to achieve the same pleasurable effects. This can quickly lead to dependence and addiction.

That does not mean that you cannot regain control over your alcohol intake.

You use Alcohol as a Stress-Reliever

Many people turn to alcohol as a way to relieve stress and unwind after a long day. While alcohol can temporarily alleviate anxiety and stress, it is not a long-term solution. In fact, drinking to cope with stress can make the problem worse in the long run. The belief that alcohol helps us cope with stress is actually a myth perpetuated by society.

While it’s true that alcohol can initially create feelings of relaxation and euphoria, these effects are short-lived and can ultimately make stress worse in the long run. As the alcohol wears off, it can lead to increased anxiety and irritability, which can contribute to a vicious cycle of drinking to escape negative emotions.

Additionally, drinking to cope with stress can create a dangerous dependency on alcohol as a crutch for dealing with difficult emotions. This can make it harder for people to develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and can increase the likelihood of developing a dependence on alcohol.

What Alcohol Does

Alcohol causes the body to release cortisol. Cortisol is literally the stress hormone. We drink thinking we are helping alleviate stress and as soon as the alcohol starts to leave our system more adrenaline and cortisol are released in response to the drink. So while you can numb your mind for a short period of time the adrenaline and cortisol are present for much longer. Numerous studies show that alcohol increases the levels of stress hormones in the body.

If you find yourself turning to alcohol as a way to cope with stress, it’s important to explore healthier ways to manage your emotions. This can include practices such as meditation, exercise, spending time in nature, and cultivating a support network of friends and family.

By learning to manage stress in healthier ways, you can find freedom from alcohol, control your alcohol intake, and develop a more fulfilling, balanced life without relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism. Ultimately, the key to breaking free from alcohol lies in changing our mindset and beliefs about alcohol and developing a deeper understanding of the factors that contribute to our drinking behavior.

You Use Alcohol as a Social Lubricant

You probably associate social events and gatherings with alcohol. A drink or two seems like the perfect way to loosen up and feel more comfortable in social situations. That buzz hits and you transform from wallflower to the life of the party! While alcohol can initially help you feel more relaxed and outgoing, excessive drinking can also lead to detachment or embarrassing or dangerous behavior.

Research by Johann Hari revealed that social activities can actually help prevent addiction. Rat Park, a study by Bruce K. Alexander, showed that if rats are put in cages alone with both drug-laced and clean water, the rats quickly become addicted to the drug. But if rats are in cages with lots of friends and social activities—this is where Hari says to imagine a rat park—they ignore the drugs and prefer plain water. And it turns out that rats are a very good representation of human nature. Their genetic, biological, and behavioral characteristics closely resemble those of humans, making them excellent test subjects. Hari goes on to say that he believes the antidote to addiction is actually companionship.

In my case, my drinking turned me into a loner over time. Suddenly, I had secrets to keep and couldn’t connect with others as well as before. My cravings drove me to a point where I valued my time spent with alcohol more than my time spent with people. This is hard to admit, but it’s true. Drinking causes us to become insular, we lose ourselves, and we miss out on true opportunities for companionship. It’s not alcohol that makes these activities fun; we enjoy them because we are with friends and doing something we find enjoyable.

What We Really Enjoy

Do you come back from a comedy show and talk about how great the draft beer was or are you still chuckling about the jokes and what a good time you had with your friends? Our logic gets twisted and we start to assign significance to alcohol that it just does not deserve. We have become accustomed to drinking on social occasions. Even though we didn’t need alcohol to enjoy them before now we have developed a habit of drinking. We have intertwined, within our minds, the alcohol, and the joy we feel from the occasion.

If you find yourself feeling pressure to drink in social situations, it may be helpful to explore your motivations for drinking and find other ways to connect with others that don’t involve alcohol.

By breaking free from the belief that alcohol is necessary for socializing, people can develop more authentic and fulfilling relationships with others, free from the constraints of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Ultimately, the key to breaking free from alcohol control lies in changing our mindset and beliefs about alcohol which allows us to instead develop healthier habits and coping mechanisms that support a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Your Drinking Seems Normal

One reason many of us find we can’t control our alcohol intake is that our drinking seems normal compared to those around us. Alcohol is widely available and socially acceptable, making it easy to access and consume. It’s not uncommon for people to have a drink after work or to unwind at home with a glass of wine. So it’s hard to gauge where the line exists between normal and excessive drinking.

Alcohol use is also glamorized in popular culture. Alcohol companies spend billions of dollars each year on marketing and advertising creating powerful cultural and environmental associations around drinking. Companies promote the idea that drinking is a necessary and enjoyable part of adult life. This messaging can be especially potent for people who are struggling to control their alcohol intake, as it reinforces the belief that drinking is a normal and desirable behavior. It can be challenging to resist the urge to drink when you are constantly bombarded with messages that suggest that drinking is the key to success, relaxation, and enjoyment.

In addition, marketing and advertising can create an illusion of choice when it comes to drinking. By promoting a wide range of alcohol brands and products, alcohol companies create the impression that there are endless options when it comes to drinking. This can make it difficult to view alcohol objectively and to make conscious decisions about your drinking behavior. Normalizing excessive drinking benefits no one. Instead, it makes it harder to recognize where the line between casual and problematic drinking exists. Even more troubling is that the line will not look the same from one person to the next.

The truth is there aren’t any normal drinkers and that one distinction can make it much easier to learn to control your alcohol intake.

Lack of Awareness

Another reason why you may struggle to control your alcohol intake is a lack of awareness about how much you’re drinking. It’s easy to lose track of how much you’ve had to drink. This is especially true if you’re in a social setting or if you’re drinking quickly. Additionally, many people underestimate the amount of alcohol in their drinks or don’t realize how quickly alcohol can affect their bodies.

Regularly drinking more than the recommended limits (which vary by country but typically suggest no more than 14 units per week for men and women) can have serious health consequences. These include liver disease, high blood pressure, and an increased risk of cancer. Being aware of how much you’re drinking and making an effort to stay within the recommended limits can help you regain control of your alcohol intake.

Awareness is key to controlling your drinking. By becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to alcohol use, you can recognize the triggers that can lead to drinking and develop strategies to manage your cravings and resist the urge to drink. Additionally, by being mindful of how alcohol affects you, you can make healthier decisions and choose healthier alternatives.

Steps You Can Take To Start To Control Your Alcohol Intake

Struggling to control your alcohol intake isn’t something you should be ashamed of. As noted before – every drinker ends up drinking more than they did initially, because, at one point in time, we were all non-drinkers! By now you’ve probably tried all the tricks – only drinking on weekends, limiting yourself to just one or two drinks, or maybe proving your control by taking breaks. Yet, despite all these attempts to control alcohol, it continues to play a much larger role in your life than you are comfortable with. That can change right here, right now.

It starts with what you know

The best step I took in learning to control my alcohol intake isn’t just what helped me to stop drinking, it’s what also has kept me from drinking all these years. It’s knowledge. Consume all of the knowledge you can find not only on alcohol and addiction but also on mindfulness, stress relief, mindset, etc. This will allow you to continually work on yourself. Constantly seeking to empower yourself by learning how to not only strengthen your brain when it comes to turning to alcohol but also shore up any other areas that might contribute to a desire to drink. This allows you to develop skills that will improve every aspect of your life – professionally, personally, in relationships, your health – it all benefits from knowledge.

Stick together

It was mentioned earlier that Johann Haro believes the antidote to addiction is connection. I’ve found that to be incredibly true. So many options for support now exist. In-person, online, as hybrids, and even in ways you wouldn’t expect. These become your safe spaces for comfortably sharing struggles, fears, and anxieties. Creating connections is a top secret to learning to control your alcohol intake and improving life in general.

Ditch the rules

Read all the books, join every group, and create the greatest coping toolbox known to man, yet when it comes down to it learning to control your alcohol intake there are no rules. You need to do what works for you – even if it goes against the perceived rules! Use the elements of the resources and help that are available to you that resonate with you. And ditch the parts and pieces that do not work for you. Be a rebel. Go ahead and do NOT follow the supposed rules. The people that rewrite history are the ones that didn’t follow the rules and challenged everything? There isn’t a wrong way to learn how to control your alcohol intake; the only thing that is wrong is to stop trying just because something didn’t work for you.

Read About Why You Can’t Control Your Alcohol Intake

This Naked Mind takes a deep dive into all the reasons and beliefs that make it hard to control your alcohol intake. Start reading for free today.

Jake fell into drinking the same way most of us do. Bit by bit as a teenager until one day we realize alcohol has taken full control. He shares his life as a blackout drinker and how he found freedom and control through This Naked Mind.

How it began

Growing up my mum and dad drank but not often and only in social situations. In fact, they rarely drank in front of us as kids. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t exposed to alcohol though. As I got older I played pub sports from 16 in lots of different pubs so I started drinking from there. It began as a couple of nights a week then heavily on a weekend, mainly surrounded by playing or watching sports.

In my mind drinking was fun and the key to life’s happiness.

My life as a blackout drinker

In my late teens and early twenties, I always used to push alcohol too far. Maybe what I should say is alcohol’s addictiveness got to me and took control. This was the start of my life as a blackout drinker. I was hooked to the point where I would always have blackouts on a weekend. Drinking shot after shot and anything I could possibly have. My body could take it but that was just because my brain become numb to the volume I would consume. I argued with friends and family and lost relationships. At this point, I didn’t understand that my happiness was being lost to alcohol. In my mind, my happiness was coming from it.

Losing control

Alcohol made me lie a lot. At one point it got too far, I just couldn’t cope with lying to my partner anymore. She pushed me in the direction of giving up my life as a blackout drinker which I tried on and off for a bit unsuccessfully. Deep down, I knew I owed it to her to try harder so I signed up for a counter app called I am Sober. Before that, I tried controlling my drinking by starting slow or taking time out after each drink or trying different strength drinks but in the end, I would always find a way to have as much as possible in the quickest time possible.

Finding freedom from my life as a blackout drinker

I was successful for 6 months and enjoyed my life so much more. Feeling healthier both physically and mentally than I had ever been. Suddenly, life became hard again and I thought my only option was to drink again. Somehow, I had convinced myself that I was now in control after time off. The real answer was found around a month later after progressively getting hooked by the horrible drug that is alcohol again. I’m glad that answer was found as I then turned to the This Naked Mind book which really did what it said and made my mind naked!

I can’t vs I don’t

Through This Naked Mind, I was now clear that alcohol put a hold on me and not that I chose the path of alcohol. I now freed myself to make the choice not to never drink again but to never WANT to! This is what I believe the key is… ‘I can’t ‘ drink can only get you so far, but ‘I don’t drink’ sticks forever. The book really helped me as it opened my eyes up to the truth about how alcohol works, it also enabled me to forgive myself for what alcohol has done to me rather than me blaming myself.

Start reading

Are you ready to push stop on your life as a blackout drinker? Find your freedom through This Naked Mind as Jake did! Download the first chapter for free instantly!

No longer a blackout drinker

Now that I am no longer a blackout drinker my life is a lot healthier, both physically and mentally. I seem to have more time on my hands. In many ways, I am less selfish but also more selfish in caring about myself. I am excited to experience more and more events and occasions and enjoy them sober!

Share Your Story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you leave behind your life as a blackout drinker? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

Grey went from a drunken life to getting drunk on life due in large part to the freedom found through This Naked Mind. She bravely shares her story and why she’s happy to be getting drunk on life regularly.

Drunk for life

Getting drunk started early for me. My parents would proudly tell the tale of my first drunkenness as a toddler, sipping from Dad’s bottle of beer. That was how my exposure to alcohol began and that relationship didn’t improve over time. From the beginning, I believed alcohol was cool, hip, and grown-up!

Alcohol creeps in

The evening cocktail habit was part of my growing-up home life. That habit flowed on as the years progressed. Happy hour became the daily routine in my adult life. Two drinks became three, then four, with blackouts. My drinking just keep progressing as the years ticked by.

Here’s how the celebration of my sober life started

Gin and tonic had been my daily hideaway. The five o’clock drinking hour crept to four o’clock. All my drinking was at home, with COVID as yet another justification for the need to numb. Early in 2022, I took note of how many booze runs I was making. Weekly, then every six days between replenishment, to purchase the 1.5-liter bottle of self-medication. I alternated between three liquor stores as if they cared to notice I was a lush. My meal planning always took stock of gin, tonic, vodka, and Gatorade (there had to be enough on hand to mix several drinks!)

The decision to stop

This decision to stop was my third. I can recall vividly the motivation for the second halt; it came after a brutal confrontation between my husband (my drinking buddy) and my sister. All three very liquored up. That hiatus didn’t last; I felt I had proved I could take a break (look at me and my willpower!)

On a Monday morning early in December, after overindulging during football viewing with added tequila-spiked margaritas, my self-disgust was sufficient to start down the pathway. I have been married for 36 years to a man with a brilliant mind that is slip sliding away due to dementia. I am his care provider. It’s a life of sameness, with no fixes; ‘til death do us part. Gin was my coping friend, or so I thought. But I also felt such frustration, recalling the Serenity Prayer and knowing I could not continue as I was. Something had to change, and I knew the only controllable change had to be within me.

I need to get a handle on this

My drinking progression worried me. I didn’t want to be drunk for life. I did what most of us do when this happens and declared I was quitting drinking. This led to a brief suspension of drinking but nothing really changed. Luckily, I admitted to my psychologist niece, who had stopped drinking more than a year ago, that I was almost a month into my decision to stop. She encouraged me to read This Naked Mind. The 3 a.m. awakening was, for me, the first of so many resonant passages.

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Are you thinking of trading being drunk in life for getting drunk on life? Download the first chapter of the book that changed everything for Grey right now!

The knowledge I needed

This Naked Mind was particularly helpful to me in understanding the dichotomies of want/need, consciousness/subliminal cues, and the thirst that alcohol creates. I awoke every night around three; I had to have a huge glass full of ice water on the nightstand each night; I woke with a dry mouth each and every morning.

Finding freedom

No longer am I suffering! I have clarity and energy. For the first time ever – I don’t want a drink. I thank you for documenting the unlabeled poison in our lifestyle, routines, advertising . . . oh yeah, there’s this warning on the label:

Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

Getting drunk on life

There’s so much that needs to be done to shake up the world and get it out from “under the influence”. Alcohol is insidious, pervasive, and adored. I don’t need it anymore, and with the teachings of This Naked Mind, I can resist wanting it. As for me, I’m getting drunk on life these days. I can see clearly now, as you know! Bright sunshiney days ahead.

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Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you start getting drunk on life? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

March is no slouch when it comes to holidays and celebrations. The one that seems to stir up the most unrest in those of us trying to live an alcohol-free life is St. Patrick’s Day. Many of us only knew of one way to celebrate that day and it involved green beer and drunken shenanigans. Well, life has changed so now you need to find new things to drink and do on March 17. We’re going to get you started in the beverage department with 5 non-alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day drinks you can make!

5 Non-Alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day Drinks

Mint Julep Mocktail

St. Patrick’s Day is big on green drinks and this Mint Julep Mocktail doesn’t just deliver in color. It packs a powerful punch of flavor – without the fear of a hangover the next day! You can adjust the intensity by adding more or less of the creme de mint syrup or adding fresh mint to the mix!

You’ll need –

1/4 c Creme de mint syrup (non-alcoholic)

Fresh mint leaves (muddled)

3/4 c Lime sparkling water or non-alcoholic bourbon

crushed ice

Instructions:
Fill your cup with crushed ice. Add 3/4 cup of lime sparkling water or non-alcoholic bourbon to each cup, then pour over ¼ cup of your non-alcoholic mint syrup. You can also add muddled fresh mint at this point to increase the mint flavor. Stir and enjoy!

Avocado Aperitif

Everyone loves avocado on their toast but it’s also amazing in our Avocado Aperitif! This non-alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day drink blends avocado, honey, lime, and a hint of heat for a smooth, tasty, and healthy drink that celebrates the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day without any spirits in your glass!

1/2 a ripe avocado
2 oz grapefruit juice
1/3 cup lime juice
1/3 cup honey
dash of hot sauce
1 tbsp water
Tajin seasoning, for rimming glass
Fresh mint leaves, for garnish
1/2 lime, wedges for garnish

Instructions:

Combine all the ingredients in a blender or food processor. (or you can place it in a tall glass and use an immersion blender.) Blend until smooth. The water will thin the avocado flesh out.

Rim a glass with tajin seasoning and pour your avocado aperitif into it! Enjoy!

Green Goliath

Green juices were all the rage for a while. Maybe you even picked up a juicer during that time. Even if you didn’t you can make our Green Goliath juice and feel good about what you’re sipping on for St. Paddy’s day. Hit the produce aisle and grab some –

1/2 English cucumber, sliced

1 1/2 stalks celery, sliced

1 green apple, chopped

1/2 cup kale, chopped

1/2 cup baby spinach

3/4 tsp freshly grated ginger

1 tbsp lime juice

1/4 to 1/2 cup water

Optional – jalapeno, parsley, cilantro

Instructions:

Combine the celery and the cucumber in the blender. Add around 1/4 cup of water and blend on high. (You can continue to add water as needed to keep the mixture moving as you add ingredients.) Add the remaining ingredients, including any optional ingredients, and blend on high until smooth. Strain the mixture through a sieve, fine mesh strainer, or cheesecloth to remove the pulp. Pour in a glass and allow to chill before drinking.

Green Grasshopper

When it comes to what you’re drinking, we feel like you should still have options. Most non-alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day drink recipes tend to fall on the overly sweet side and usually, the Green Grasshopper mocktail would too but if you try our variation using tea instead, you can bring down the sugar level! Stock up on –

3 tablespoons white hot chocolate mix OR 1 bag white chocolate peppermint tea

3 tablespoons very hot water OR 1/2 cup boiling water

3/4 cup half-and-half cream

1/2 cup milk

1/4 teaspoon peppermint extract or spearmint extract (use more to increase the mint flavor if desired)

1/4 teaspoon vanilla or almond extract

3-5 drops green gel food coloring

whipped cream

fresh mint leaves

Instructions:

If using tea – add 1/2 cup boiling water to a mug or heat-proof glass and let the tea steep for 3-5 minutes.

If using white hot chocolate mix – combine 3 tablespoons chocolate mix and the 3 tablespoons hot water in a glass. Whisk until everything has combined and no powder remains.

Add the milk (omit for the tea or only use 1/4 cup), half-and-half, both extracts, and the food coloring to the glass. Mix again until all ingredients have combined.

Add ice and garnish with mint leaves and whipped cream, if desired.

Cool as a Cucumber Mocktail

Our Cool as a Cucumber non-alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day drink will leave you refreshed. Most bars should have the ingredients on hand to make one as well so you can order it (or a variation they can make) when you’re out on the town if you choose to! We love how light and flavorful it is! Make sure you have –

1/2 a cucumber, sliced thinly

1/2 cup water

1 lime, freshly juiced OR 2 tablespoons lime juice

2 tablespoons fresh mint leaves

1 tablespoon honey

1/2 cup sparkling water

Ice

Instructions:

Combine the cucumber, water, lime juice, mint leaves, and honey in a blender. Puree until smooth and no chunks remain. (You can also use a tall glass and an immersion blender.)

Strain the mixture into a serving glass filled with ice using a sieve, fine mesh strainer, or cheesecloth. Top off with sparkling water and stir to incorporate.

Are Non-Alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day Drinks Not Enough?

Do you need more support than just non-alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day drinks? Could you use additional tips on taking a break from alcohol? Download our free e-book – 6 Best Tips For Taking A Break From Booze. Click here to get your copy!

And if you’re looking for a community to support you and to swap more alcohol-free drink ideas with – join us in The Alcohol Experiment. It has helped over 400K people take a 30-day break from alcohol, change their thinking, and find balance in their lives!

More Non-Alcoholic St. Patrick’s Day Drinks

If you need more alcohol-free drinks ideas or you’re wondering if NA drinks are even ok to indulge in – we’ve got you covered!

4 Non-Alcoholic Valentine’s Drinks That You’ll Love
Celebrate National Mocktail Week with these 5 Drink Recipes!
How To Make 5 Festive Non-Alcoholic Holiday Drinks This Season
Make These 4 Non-Alcoholic Drinks For November
4 Best Spirit-Free Beverages To Try For Sober October
Try These 7 Amazing Drinks For Sober September
The 7 Best Drinks For An Alcohol-Free August
How To Go Dry in July -11 Mocktail Recipes To Help You
How to TeeTotal Your June with these Terrific Tea Recipes!
May Mocktail Recipes You’ll Love
4 Mocktail Recipes To Make in April
EP 64: Reader Question – Non-Alcoholic Drinks: Are they okay?
EP 198: Reader Question – Alcohol Free drinks? Are they OK?

Trina didn’t drink much early on but all that changed when the demands of adult life increased and she needed a way to cope. Like so many of us, she chose what she knew and turned to alcohol. A fateful trip to the bookstore brought her This Naked Mind and now she is choosing to live in a world without alcohol!

Looking forward to drinking

As far back as I can remember, I was always around people who were frequent drinkers. I couldn’t imagine a world without alcohol. My parents looked forward to drinks after work and wine with dinner. I was very curious about alcohol as a child, and I remember wanting sips of what the adults were drinking. I also grew up in a tourist town that is known for its bars and party culture.

Ironically, in high school, I didn’t drink much. Towards the end of senior year, I had a few drinking experiences, and on one occasion one of the more popular kids that she hadn’t realized that I was “cool” until just then when I was drinking. I didn’t drink much in college either but had a few experiences with drinking too much, blacking out, and getting very sick. Alcohol wasn’t something I thought about much overall. I would go out with friends but drinking was not a central focus.

Alcohol becomes an issue

Alcohol became more of an issue sometime after I was married with two kids. Girls’ weekends always focused on excessive drinking, as did dinner parties with friends. I remember an engagement party that we went to out of town for family. I had a few very strong drinks and do not remember the rest of the night. Beyond that, wine several nights a week became common. Managing hangovers became more difficult. I tried not to drink during the week or not to bring home wine. Those things didn’t work.

Overwhelmed

The most challenging time was when my dad was battling Alzheimer’s, my daughters had left for college, and we sold our house. My parents lived a distance from me and I am an only child. I was trying to help my mom with my dad while working full-time and living far away. The stress was awful. I drank a lot of wine during those times. I would try to quit but it never lasted. The last time I drank was right before Thanksgiving of 2020. I drank almost 2 bottles of wine, ate a big piece of pie, and had an entire bag of popcorn. I felt so bad the next day.

Brought to This Naked Mind

One day, I was at a bookstore, and This Naked Mind seemed to appear on a shelf in front of me. I was not looking for it. I read the book and joined the community, but I was still doing the quit/go back to drinking thing. However, once you know it’s hard to unknow the info.

I kept at it though. The book helped get me started and the podcast kept me going. It opened up a whole world to me that I hadn’t known existed. Like many people, I thought that there were just two worlds: drinkers or down-and-out alcoholics. This Naked Mind empowered me. I see not drinking as a positive choice.

Start Reading

Are you thinking about what a world without alcohol might do for you? Start reading This Naked Mind now and find your freedom! Download the first chapter for free now!

Choosing a world without alcohol

I’ve chosen a world without alcohol for myself. And I’m so grateful to have done that. My life is so much better now! I sleep so well and have much more energy. I am better at my job and have more self-confidence than ever before. Menopause symptoms have also lessened which is an added bonus. I am excited that this is my life.

Share Your Story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program lead you to choose a world without alcohol? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

It is a popular belief that alcohol can be a major contributor to weight gain but can you actually lose weight if you go a full month without drinking alcohol? This article will explore the effects of not drinking alcohol for a month on weight loss and the long-term health benefits that may come from this lifestyle change.

Trying to Lose Weight?

If you are trying to lose weight, there are certain lifestyle changes you can make that will help you reach your goals more quickly. One of these changes is to take a break from drinking alcohol for a month. In this article, we will explore what happens to your body when you don’t drink alcohol for a month and the potential benefits of this lifestyle change.

We Will Also Look At

There are so many questions that come up when you’re looking at not drinking alcohol for a month and weight loss. We will also make sure to answer questions like:

• How much weight can you lose by giving up alcohol for a month?
• How long after I stop drinking alcohol will I lose weight?
• Will I lose belly fat if I stop drinking alcohol?

Weight Loss and Alcohol Use

Drinking alcohol is often associated with having a good time, but it can also contribute to weight gain, especially if consumed in excessive amounts. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to change your alcohol intake and promote weight loss. One of the most common strategies people look to first is to refrain from drinking alcohol for a month. Let’s take a look at the benefits of saying no to alcohol for a month and how it can help you reach your weight loss goals.

The Effects of Not Drinking Alcohol on Weight Loss

When it comes to weight loss, the calories consumed can play a major role. Alcohol is full of empty calories, meaning that it contains no nutritional value. By taking a break from alcohol for a month, you can significantly reduce your calorie intake and in turn, improve your weight loss results.

In addition to this, alcohol has been linked to increased appetite. When you’re drinking, you may be more prone to overeating and indulging in unhealthy snacks, fast food, or take-out meals. The reason for this is actually quite fascinating. Alcohol actually stops us from digesting food. Alcohol has been linked to various digestive issues, including changes in gastric emptying, delayed absorption of nutrients, and increased risk of stomach ulcers. It is important to understand the effects of alcohol on the digestive system in order to maintain health and well-being. 

What is Gastric Emptying?

Gastric emptying is the process of emptying the contents of the stomach into the small intestine. This process begins when food is consumed and the stomach starts to churn and break down the food into a liquid state. The partially digested food then passes into the small intestine, where further digestion and absorption of nutrients occurs.

Gastric emptying is an important factor in digestion, as it helps ensure that the body absorbs the necessary nutrients from ingested food. It also helps maintain the acidity in the stomach, which is important for digestion.

Impact of Alcohol on Gastric Emptying

Studies have shown that alcohol can have an adverse effect on gastric emptying. Excessive alcohol consumption can delay the rate at which the stomach empties, leading to slower digestion and absorption of nutrients. This can lead to bloating, indigestion, and other digestive issues.

Alcohol can also irritate the stomach lining, which can lead to inflammation and pain. In addition, alcohol can impair the ability of the stomach to produce digestive enzymes, which can lead to further digestive issues.

Impact of Alcohol on Nutrient Absorption

Alcohol can also affect the absorption of certain nutrients in the small intestine. Studies have shown that excessive alcohol consumption can reduce the absorption of vitamins, minerals, and other essential nutrients. This can lead to deficiencies of important vitamins and minerals, which can in turn cause a variety of health problems.

Alcohol can also reduce the efficiency of the liver in metabolizing nutrients, which can further reduce the absorption of vitamins and minerals.

Increases Risk of Stomach Ulcers

Alcohol consumption can also increase the risk of developing stomach ulcers. This is due to the irritation of the stomach lining caused by alcohol, as well as the increased production of stomach acid that can occur when alcohol is consumed in large quantities.

Stomach ulcers can cause pain, bleeding, and other digestive problems, and can be extremely uncomfortable. If left untreated, stomach ulcers can lead to more serious health problems.

The Impact of Alcohol on Weight Loss and Gastric Emptying

Consumption of alcohol can have an adverse effect on digestion and gastric emptying. Alcohol can cause delays in gastric emptying, reduce the absorption of important nutrients, and increase the risk of stomach ulcers. Alcohol use can lead to weight gain because we have a tendency to overeat when we drink. Because our body is not absorbing nutrients, we’re more likely to eat even if we are full. This also carries over to the next day because we still will not have nourished our bodies and given them what they need, combined with the dehydration. We’re more likely to make poor food choices and go for high-caloric foods due to the perceived starvation we’re feeling.

How Much Weight Can You Lose By Giving Up Alcohol for a Month?

The average amount of weight loss people see is two pounds per week by giving up alcohol for a month. However, the amount of weight one will lose can vary depending on your body type, activity level, and diet. Some people may find that they initially gain weight rather than lose it when they stop drinking. This can happen for a variety of reasons. They may have been nutritionally depleted or even “drunkorexic” so the body is actually needing to replenish and restore itself initially. Or they may be substituting alcohol with other things (usually sugar) and thus not creating a calorie deficit needed to lose weight. Barring those circumstances, most people will start to see weight loss within two weeks of giving up alcohol.

Most people are anxious to see specific areas lose fat when they stop drinking. Especially those who have seen belly fat or a “beer belly” pop up. Most will notice a reduction in that quickly due to less bloating. Over time, belly fat will also be reduced but it probably will take longer than a month off of alcohol to see that come across. Additionally, giving up alcohol can have other health benefits. Let’s take a closer look at those now.

The Benefits of Not Drinking Alcohol for a Month

Besides aiding in weight loss, there are numerous other health benefits associated with taking a break from alcohol for a month. Research has shown that people who don’t drink alcohol for a month have improved mental clarity and focus, increased energy levels, better sleep quality, and improved skin health.

Additionally, taking a break from alcohol for a month can lead to improved liver health. The liver is responsible for breaking down harmful substances, including alcohol and other toxins. When the liver is overburdened with alcohol, it can lead to inflammation and other medical conditions. By taking a break from alcohol for a month, you can give your liver a much-needed break and allow it to recover and work more efficiently.

Why Do You Want To Lose Weight?

One of the things many of us lose sight of is why we want to lose weight and what impact alcohol has on that. Here at This Naked Mind, we focus very little on the what and much more on the why. We aren’t nearly as concerned with physical actions – drinking, weight loss, etc. Our emotions are the keys to lasting change. Changes in how we drink, and changes in our weight, it all comes down to how we feel about the change we want to make. If we remove the desire for something, we remove the temptations and make the goal much, much easier to reach.

Take a moment and really consider what it is you want when you say you’d like to lose weight. Are you looking for better health? More confidence? Would you like more energy? How is it you want to feel? And what role does alcohol play in that?

A great way to answer these questions and learn to use them regularly is by incorporating the ACT technique into your life. It’s a technique we use in The Alcohol Experiment – our free program designed to help you take a 30-day break from alcohol and see how your life changes. You can learn more about how to use the ACT Technique here and join us in the forever-free Alcohol Experiment here.

How Can Taking A Break From Alcohol for a Month Help You Reach Your Weight Loss Goals?

Alcohol can be an obstacle to weight loss, as it is high in calories and can lead to overeating or poor food choices. Taking a break from alcohol for a month can help you reach your weight loss goals by reducing your calorie intake. In addition, taking a break from alcohol can help you make healthier food choices (and actually healthier choices overall). One of the detrimental effects of alcohol is that it actually impacts our decision-making. And eliminating alcohol raises our awareness so you’re naturally drawn to choose healthier options when you are not consuming alcohol. Finally, taking a break from alcohol can help you increase your physical activity level, as you may be more motivated to exercise when you are not drinking. And why wouldn’t you be? You’re sleeping better, you have more energy, and you’re more productive!

Tips for Sticking with Taking a Break from Alcohol for a Month

If you’re looking to take a break from alcohol for a month, there are a few tips to help you stay on track. First, create a plan for yourself and make sure to track your progress. This will help keep you motivated and make it easier to stick with your goals. Prepare yourself mentally by setting achievable goals and identify the reasons why you want to take a break from alcohol. Now that doesn’t mean you have to count days, calories, or weight loss. Track your progress in a way that feels good to you. For some, that means tracking their sleep or resting heart rate. Others just note their mood from day to day or their thinking. Remember that weight loss itself shouldn’t be the main motivator. You want to change how you feel. What can you track that will positively impact that?

Additionally, it can be helpful to have a support system in place to help you stay motivated and feel encouraged. Make sure you have a plan for social occasions, such as having a list of non-alcoholic drinks that you can enjoy. We have an amazing support system thousands strong inside the This Naked Mind Companion App. It also features helpful articles, blog posts, mini-courses, videos, and more that can be excellent resources while you’re taking a break from alcohol. 

Also, if you’re feeling tempted to drink, find a healthy alternative that can satisfy your cravings without the added calories and negative effects of alcohol. We list 99 ideas here that you might find helpful. Rediscover activities you enjoy that will keep you occupied and distracted from drinking, such as going for a walk or reading a book.

Using these tips it’s much easier to stay motivated and continue to remind yourself of the benefits of taking a break from alcohol for a month.

Don’t Forget

Weight loss and improved health can be achieved by taking a break from alcohol for a month. When you don’t drink alcohol, you reduce your calorie intake and reduce your cravings for unhealthy foods. Additionally, there are numerous other health benefits associated with not drinking alcohol for a month, including improved mental clarity, increased energy levels, better sleep quality, and improved skin health. As with any change, if you’re trying to take a break from alcohol for a month, it can be helpful to have a plan and support system in place to help you stay on track. We hope you’ll take advantage of the resources we’ve offered you here!

Going sober in your 20s might seem drastic but for Layla, it felt natural. The natural way to finally begin enjoying and living the life she had always desired. Today she shares her inspirational story that shows that life without alcohol can be so much more than we ever imagine.

Sneaking Drinks

Growing up, my parents weren’t particularly big drinkers. They were, however, strict on rules. As a teenager, there was no chance of me getting permission to go to an underage party. The only solution? I would sneak out, sipping on my bright pink vodka mixers. I loved the buzz I would get as booze entered my system. The adrenaline from sneaking out mixed with the alcohol seemed like the perfect concoction. I felt invincible, confident, and larger than life. I remember thinking how lucky adults were to have access to this stuff whenever they wanted. How lucky they were to be able to drink whenever they wanted. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be able to do the same. I couldn’t wait to be able to drink alcohol when and wherever I wanted.

Drinking in my 20s

As I reached my early 20s, alcohol had become a normal fixture in my life. I was working in the hospitality industry and found myself constantly surrounded by booze. I would drink before, during, and after shifts. When the adrenaline was still pumping after a particularly late weekend shift, I would continue drinking and partying until the early hours of the morning. Rinse and repeat.

I never really questioned this behaviour or asked myself if I had a problem. In my eyes everything was fine. I was still studying at university and managing to get to the gym regularly. I had a good routine and despite the frequent blackouts and tragic hangovers, I didn’t feel as though my drinking was out of control. Everyone around me was drinking just as much as I was, so how bad could it be?

Where the problems started

The problems between booze and me started during the pandemic in 2020. Stuck in my small apartment, alone, during several lockdowns – I turned to alcohol for comfort. What started as a nice glass of wine with dinner, turned into a bottle a night. This was the first time I had taken to drinking alone, not in a social setting. At the time, I wasn’t concerned about this behaviour, but I can see now that it became my undoing. Drinking so much wine made me believe I’d developed a high tolerance.

I believed I needed to consume a lot more now to feel the effects. After one particular after-work-drinks with wine, I ended up in the hospital. I’d been found by police on the side of a road, in the middle of the night, alone. While I had blacked out many times while drinking, I’d never lost my memory of the entire night. Yet still to this day, I have no memory at all of the night I ended up in the hospital.

All the attempts at going sober in my 20s

I attempted many challenges – 30 days no alcohol, no drinking on weekdays, etc. and no matter how hard I tried, I could never commit. The first time I tried Dry July, I was drinking mimosas at breakfast on day three.

It wasn’t until 2021 when I tried the 75 Hard Challenge (75 days no alcohol), that I really started to enjoy the benefits and lifestyle that came with not drinking. I decided from then on to try only drinking in moderation. I would go to a house party and tell people I was only having two drinks because I planned to drive myself home. Instead, I would end up wasted, sleeping on someone’s couch, and driving home hungover the morning after.

After completing 75 Hard, I was only drinking when I felt obliged to or when it was offered to me. Even though I knew I didn’t really want to drink anymore, I didn’t know how to say ‘no.’ I began to resent alcohol and realised I couldn’t drink in moderation. My drinking was more of an ‘all or nothing’ approach.

The truth about going sober in your 20s

Instead, at only 23 years old, I decided to go teetotal. That was over 19 months ago and I haven’t looked back since.

Quitting alcohol at such a young age was really isolating in the beginning. While I’d still enjoy the occasional (sober) night out, my interests were shifting and I no longer found myself wanting to stay out until 6 am partying and surrounded by drunks. Instead, I turned to reading. This Naked Mind was one of the first ‘quit lit’ books I ever read and really helped me to feel a sense of belonging in my newfound sobriety. This book helped me to look at alcohol in a totally different light, and to see it for the monster it really is. After reading This Naked Mind, all of my cravings subsided and I felt more confident than ever in my decision to be sober. This book is a true game changer for anyone wanting to reevaluate their relationship with booze.

Start reading

Are you thinking about going sober in your 20s? (Or at whatever age you are?) Read the book that helped Layla maintain her freedom and find peace in her relationship with alcohol. Download the first chapter for free now!

What do you miss out on going sober in your 20s?

Your twenties are supposed to be the years to let your hair down, to have fun. So when I decided to go sober at 23 years of age, I was worried I’d miss out on a lot. How was I meant to ‘enjoy my youth’ if I couldn’t get drunk?

What I found was, despite my initial concerns, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Quitting alcohol has given me more time, more money, more confidence, and more mental clarity. It has improved my mental and physical health, my relationships, my finances, my time, and my overall quality of life.

Being sober in your twenties shouldn’t be seen as a sacrifice. By ‘giving up’ booze, you’re getting back your life. Your time. Your health. Getting back your money. Your relationships. Reclaiming memories. Your happiness.

Being sober in your twenties means never having to wake up and fear what happened the night before. It means never having to waste a day in bed, and feeling sorry for yourself. It means never having to regret something you said, did, or spent money on under the influence.

No regrets

I’ve now been sober for 19 months and can say with utmost confidence, it has been the best decision I’ve ever made.

I don’t regret the years I spent drinking. I learned a lot of hard lessons from alcohol and I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences. But if I could tell my old self one thing, it would be to stop waiting for the ‘big moment’ to stop drinking.

I always believed I needed to be a drunken addict or go through something extremely traumatic if I were to stop drinking alcohol. I didn’t understand I could stop drinking simply because I wanted to. In my community, it was unheard of – people never gave up alcohol because they didn’t like it. They gave up alcohol because they had a problem, an addiction.

What made me stop

A lot of people ask me whether one moment, in particular, led me to never want to drink alcohol again. And while there have been many defining moments – blackouts, drunk arguments, waking up in the hospital; the truth is that there wasn’t one singular event that led to my decision to go sober. It was all of them, combined.

Every feeling of regret, shame, guilt, sadness, or anxiety the morning after. It was the countless journal entries reiterating to myself what I, deep down, already knew – alcohol was no longer serving me.

The cons were outweighing the pros. The hangovers, financial strain, tears, anxiety, nausea, memory loss… none of it was worth the temporary highs anymore. None of it was worth the quick buzz of dopamine.

Share your story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you with going sober in your 20s (or later)? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

For people who are looking to stop drinking but want to avoid alcohol withdrawals, understanding how to do so is key. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms can be uncomfortable, dangerous, and for some even deadly. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to minimize your risk, make the process easier, and avoid many of the fears and doubts that keep you from taking action in changing your relationship with alcohol. In this blog, we will outline three simple and proven steps that can help you learn how to avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

What are some alcohol withdrawal symptoms you should look out for?

Alcohol withdrawal symptoms occur when someone who has been drinking heavily suddenly stops or significantly reduces their alcohol consumption. Symptoms often range from mild to severe. They can include anxiety, irritability, sweating, nausea, insomnia, tremors, and hallucinations. The most extreme of these symptoms are delirium tremens and alcohol withdrawal seizures. It is important to understand the potential risks of alcohol withdrawal and take steps to minimize them if you are planning on reducing or eliminating your alcohol consumption completely.

Why would you want to reduce your alcohol consumption?

There are many reasons why someone might want to reduce their alcohol consumption. It may be because of health reasons, such as liver damage, anxiety, or cancer, or because of personal reasons, such as wanting to regain control over one’s life and begin to rectify some of the issues alcohol has caused in their life. Whatever the reason, it is important to be aware of the risks that can come with alcohol withdrawal and take the needed measures to address and control them.

Who should be concerned about alcohol withdrawal symptoms?

Alcohol withdrawal symptoms are a valid concern but not for as many people as we think. The CDC estimates that only around 10% of the population falls into the physically addicted category. That is the group that needs medical supervision while going through the detoxification process. Now while that information is reassuring on one level, it does come with a caveat. There isn’t a really good tool to determine what your level of alcohol dependence is.

The World Health Organization has developed a screening that allows one to gauge if their relationship with alcohol might need some attention but it does not provide direction on whether you’ll experience alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

How can you know if you’ll experience physical alcohol withdrawal symptoms?

So if there isn’t a test that will tell you if you’ll have physical alcohol withdrawal symptoms, how can you determine that on your own and know if you need to seek medical help in order to detox? This is where you start using the most important tool you have at your disposal on this journey – awareness.

Do you already have times when your body shows signs of physical addiction? Do you experience symptoms such as nausea, sweating, or tremors when you wake in the mornings or attempt to cut back or stop drinking? These can all be indicators of a physical dependence on alcohol. This is one area where it truly is better to be safe than sorry. So if you have any concerns at all about serious physical withdrawals – talk to your doctor. 

Medically-assisted detoxification doesn’t always mean having to check into a facility so if that has been a sticking point for you – be assured that options are available that don’t include that scenario.

How To Avoid Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms in 3 Easy Steps

Step 1: Decide how you’d like to approach changing your alcohol consumption

You can avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms depending on how you approach changing your relationship with alcohol. Here at This Naked Mind, we do something revolutionary.

We stop telling you to stop drinking. That’s right. Nowhere along the way do we say – that’s it. No more.

We allow you to get to that choice on your own. And the behavior of drinking isn’t even what we address. The best way to change your alcohol consumption is by changing how you think about alcohol, your beliefs, and your desires for it.

That’s the approach that has worked for so many people. You change your alcohol consumption gradually by using knowledge to change your emotions around alcohol. Over time this leads you to gradually reduce your alcohol consumption which is one of the best ways you can avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms. By gradually reducing the amount of alcohol in your system, your body will naturally adjust to these lower levels of alcohol in your body. In turn that can greatly reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms.

How can you obtain the knowledge to change how you feel about alcohol?

Do you feel like you have so many questions now? What sort of information is capable of changing the way you feel about alcohol? Where do you find this sort of information? And what makes it so transformative?

Your entire world is going to be rocked. What you’re going to learn is going to be the complete opposite of all the things you’ve believed about alcohol up until now. And that’s a good thing! What you knew about alcohol until now led you to have the relationship you currently have with alcohol. And that is no longer serving you well. There is a treasure trove of information available and it comes in virtually every format you can imagine.

Resources to help you change your relationship with alcohol (and avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms)

The resources available today on reimagining your relationship with alcohol far exceed what used to be out there. No longer are 12-step programs and church basements the only path to change. You can bring on the brain power in the way that works best for you.

If you’re a reader, we have you covered. This Naked Mind was one of the first books in the quit lit genre that combined scientific research with personal experience and specific tools and actions you can take to reduce or stop your drinking.

Start reading

Can’t wait to start reading? Download the first chapter of This Naked Mind right now and start learning how you can avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms right away!

We aren’t the only book out there though. This list can help you continue your knowledge journey and empower yourself to change.

If you prefer to take your knowledge with you on the go and listen to it while you’re on a run, at the gym, commuting to work, or wherever you please – podcasts can be a great option for you. This Naked Mind has over 500 episodes you can listen to and all are directly related to increasing your understanding of alcohol and all the ways it impacts us. The podcasts range from inspiring to educational but they are all effective at giving you the knowledge you need to create change. Other podcasts worth listening to can be found here.

Are you a binger? No, we’re not talking about your drinking – we’re talking about your watching. You can watch over 700 hours of videos and also take advantage of mini-courses, community support and so much more in the This Naked Mind Companion App. Being able to draw upon the support and wisdom of others is so valuable when it comes to avoiding alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

A supportive network can provide support and encouragement throughout the process. All of these resources and support systems are an opportunity to learn healthier coping strategies and reshape the way you approach life and its challenges.

Step 2: Seek Help to Learn How To Avoid Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms

If you find that your cravings for alcohol become too intense or that you are unable to manage your withdrawal symptoms on your own, it is important to seek professional help. There are many resources available that can help provide support and guidance through this difficult process.

One of the benefits of seeking professional help is that you will have access to medication-assisted treatment options such as Antabuse or Naltrexone which can reduce cravings and make it easier for you to stay alcohol-free. Another option some people turn to is using The Sinclair Method. This podcast can help you understand more about this great option.

Additionally, you may be able to access cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) which can help you identify and modify triggers for drinking.

Help isn’t just an option for those that are worried about physical withdrawal symptoms. Drawing on the guidance of a coach or another type of support program can be beneficial for those that are also concerned with how to deal with the emotional withdrawal symptoms that can be such a struggle to get through. Many programs exist including The PATH by This Naked Mind. We offer a complete rundown of all the best options out there in this post.

Step 3: Manage Cravings

Another important step in avoiding alcohol withdrawal symptoms is learning how to manage cravings. Healthy distraction techniques such as exercise, hobbies, or talking with friends and family can help take your mind off of drinking. Additionally, there are specific techniques that can help you identify and modify triggers for drinking.

The best techniques for managing cravings will look different depending on the person and the situation. One of the great things about increasing your knowledge is that you’ll also be learning about all of the ways you can manage and work through cravings and triggers as part of that process. And realizing that a drink isn’t the answer to every problem means you avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms because you aren’t constantly reintroducing alcohol into your system.

What techniques can help you to manage or reduce cravings?

Managing or reducing cravings doesn’t have to be a huge lifestyle shift. In fact, many of these might be things you already do – just not when it comes to alcohol.

The first way you can manage or reduce cravings – and in turn, learn how to avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms is by always circling back to HALT.

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

The great thing about the HALT technique is that it causes a stop in your thought pattern and forces you to become aware. You learn to tune back into yourself and check in to see if any of these factors are contributing to your desire for alcohol.

Another technique we highly advocate at This Naked Mind is using the ACT Technique. If you’ve taken part in The Alcohol Experiment, you’re already familiar with it. The ACT Technique is based on Awareness, Clarity, and Turnaround. This technique doesn’t work the same as the HALT technique even though both do rely on awareness as part of the process. The ACT technique isn’t so much about what you’re feeling – it digs into why you’re feeling something, if there is any truth to the belief that causes you to feel that way, and how to turn around your beliefs and feelings.

People also find success in avoiding alcohol withdrawal symptoms and managing cravings by journaling, urge surfing, exercising, knitting, or even by crafting mocktails. 

What is the secret to avoiding alcohol withdrawal symptoms?

For those looking to avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms, some of this information might have been eye-opening. Most of us do not realize that physical symptoms really only make up a small portion of what alcohol withdrawals really are. The emotional and psychological components make up a much larger part of the puzzle.

These three simple steps are an excellent way for you to start taking action on how to avoid alcohol withdrawal symptoms: reduce your alcohol consumption gradually by starting with knowledge rather than action, seek help, and develop tools that can help you learn to manage cravings. By following these steps, you can reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms and increase your chances of creating a relationship with alcohol that brings you peace and freedom in the long run.

Additionally, take advantage of the many resources currently available to those who are looking to change their relationship with alcohol. These groups and resources are now so much more inclusive and reflective that everyone should be able to find a place where they feel safe and supported.

Kris recently celebrated 8 months alcohol-free but still hadn’t felt ‘cured’. Cravings still came often and even though Kris always managed them, this life wasn’t enjoyable. Then Kris came across This Naked Mind finishing it in 3 days and suddenly everything made sense. Learn how Kris went from sober but miserable to alcohol-free and happy.

Reflecting on life

Yesterday, while journaling, one of my favorite songs started playing. And I realized it describes everything I feel/felt about alcohol, even though it’s about a break-up. But also, I did break up with someone. With alcohol. I cried for I don’t know how long, put the song on repeat, and just reflected on my life. Pretty strong evening, I’m telling ya.

Breaking the cycle

I started drinking when I was 13, I come from an alcoholic family, and everyone drinks, so I couldn’t wait to start myself. This beautiful lovely elixir makes every situation better. Now I am 29. 15 years of alcoholism before you even turn 30? Well, I don’t like the sound of that. I wanna break the cycle, the fucking curse that is hovering over my family and the whole society. But is my only choice to be sober but miserable?

Impossible to be alcohol-free and happy

Of course, I needed alcohol. I had no emotional support, nobody taught me. We never talked about emotions. When I was sad, they told me to smile or to have a cake. I learned to process, or rather ignore feelings, by getting smashed. Thank you alcohol. Thank you that you have been there for me at times when I was alone, either for real or it just felt that way. Thank you for providing me with the support that my family wasn’t providing. Thank you for standing by my side when I needed it the most. I am grateful that we met and I am letting you go now. This song will forever be for you:

(If u want to listen while reading for more atmospheric experience, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEeqramL4mQ)

I Had This Thing

I had this thing to call my own

Just one slip and it was gone

A minor flaw and then it fell

I brought this house down on myself

I didn’t know just what I’d done

I didn’t know just what I’d done

I don’t remember anymore what I used to be

Where is the quiet piece of home where I could breathe?

Just like a razor to my soul when I’m alone

Oh, I had this thing to call my own

I’m so confused, I cannot see

This wave of guilt is drowning me

It feels like blood is on my hands

I’d give it all for a second chance

I still don’t know just what I’ve done

I still don’t know just what I’ve done

I don’t remember anymore what I used to be

There was a fire burning strong inside of me

Just like the soothing loving warmth of summer sun

Oh, I had this thing to call my own

I had this thing to call my own

I had this thing to call my own

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go

I never meant to let you go, alcohol. But I am. I have to, I wanna be free. I don’t want to end up like my father (I forgive you dad), my grandparents, my neighbours…

I don’t remember anymore what I used to be.

I don’t remember who I used to be

Yes, I don’t remember who I used to be. I was 13 when alcohol got me, and I was not even born when it was already affecting my life and everyone around me. Sometimes I feel I was addicted even before I was actually drinking. Emotionally. I mean, they were giving me lil’ amounts of alcohol since I was 3 or so. I was just so conditioned by my surroundings. So SURE alcohol belongs to life, that it belongs to most situations, that it is tasty, magical, amazing, a thing so good that people prefer it to their own wife or children. Alcohol was trying to ruin my life even before I was born, but 8 months ago, and every day since then, I decided it is over. It destroyed/is destroying everyone around me. And it still is.

No longer sober but miserable

I never meant to let you go, Kris. I am sorry. But now I am back. With my full attention to you, to what you need, to who you ARE. You started to drink because it gave you courage, you felt more at ease among people, could have more fun. You drank when you were sad, when you were nervous, and when you were happy because it made you look cool. By the age of 15, you could outdrink adult men. People even celebrated for you. Even the ones in your family. You were just doing what you thought is right. And that’s okay. That’s how you thought it must be. Since I remember, you wanted to grow up, you always lived in the future, and you wanted to be an adult, and make your own decisions. You have arrived. You can do this. We can do this.

Alcohol-free and happy

I am very lucky and grateful for my sobriety and what it’s bringing to my life. The last 8 months had their hardships but overall they were maybe the best I ever had. And this is just the beginning.

Also big thanks to Annie Grace, I love how the book is written and it has really helped me. 

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Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program move you from sober but miserable to happily living alcohol-free? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

If you’ve always thought that Valentine’s Day means being wined and dined, you might be feeling a little left out as the holiday approaches! Whether you’re planning a special dinner at home or heading out on the town – we want to make sure that you love what’s in your glass and don’t feel as if anything is missing. This Naked Mind is bringing you non-alcoholic Valentine’s drinks that you’ll love. Start reading and make sure to screenshot your favorites in case your bartender is stumped on how to make your drink of choice!

4 Non-Alcoholic Valentine’s Drinks That You’ll Love

Tiki Tumbler

This drink tops our list because it’s made up of ingredients that pretty much any bar should carry. It’s also light and refreshing. Perfect for any weather and any mood! The grapefruit gives you a taste of summer while the cinnamon has the kick and heat to warm you up in the winter! Your bartender might not know what a Tiki Tumbler is but they will find it easy to make one! Who knows – your creation might even end up on their mocktail menu!

Get started with –

4 oz grapefruit juice

4 oz club soda

1 oz lime juice

Dash of cinnamon

Instructions:
Fill a glass with ice. Add the grapefruit and the lime juices, along with the dash of cinnamon. Top it off with the club soda. Garnish with lime wedges, grapefruit slices, or a cinnamon stick!

Kickin Kvass

If it seems like every drink out there falls on the sweet side, you’ll love being able to add this to your list of non-alcoholic Valentine’s drinks. Fair warning – this drink needs time to ferment so you’ll need to make it ahead of time. Kvass has its origins in Eastern Europe. Many versions exist but we felt this beet kvass was the perfect savory option to offer for Valentine’s Day drinks. Make sure you have –

3 beets – trimmed and chopped into 1/2 ” pieces

1 tsp sea salt (you want high-quality here)

2 cups filtered water

Optional add-ins – ginger, turmeric, citrus fruits, sriracha

Instructions:

Wash the beets well using filtered water. Trim the stem and root tip from each beet but do not peel them. Cut beets into half-inch pieces.

Add chopped beet pieces to a 1-quart mason jar until halfway full.

Next, add the sea salt (white or pink Himalayan will work), then pour water into the jar. Reserve about an inch of head space from the top, fasten the lid well, and give it a good shake.

Secure the lid on the jar, and shake well to combine.

Leave the jar out in direct sunlight for 5 – 7 days. The longer you leave the jar out, the stronger the flavor will be. Make sure to release pressure from the jar each day by unscrewing the lid. Do not remove it. Simply unscrewing the lid and tightening again will release pressure and keep the jar from breaking.

After 5-7 days taste the kvass. If it is fermented to your preference you can now strain the mixture and refrigerate it. If you’d like a more developed flavor leave it out to ferment longer.

Kvass can be kept refrigerated for up to three months.

CranPom Agua Fresca

If what you miss the most is the tartness of your favorite drinks, this CranPom Agua Fresca is going to deliver the flavors you crave. This drink is low on sweetness and high on satisfaction! We love that you can indulge without regretting your life choices the next day! You’ll need to have these ingredients handy –

12 ounces (3/4 pound) fresh cranberries

2 oz pomegranate juice

1/4 cup fresh mint (you can use the stems and the leaves)

3 cups water

fresh mint, pomegranates, and cranberries for garnish

Instructions:

Place the cranberries, pomegranate juice, mint, and 3 cups water in a blender or place in a pitcher and use an immersion blender. Blend on high for 3-5 minutes. You want the mixture to be smooth in texture and deep red in color. Next, you’ll strain the mixture into a clean pitcher.

Serve in a tall glass over ice.

Red Velvet Iced Latte

We’ve given you the savory, the unique, and the tart when it comes to non-alcoholic Valentine’s drinks. Now here comes the sweet! Combining some favorites here for a delicious and indulgent Red Velvet Iced Latte. You’re getting your caffeine, your chocolate and an oh so amazing cream cheese whipped cream you can’t get enough of! Stock up on –

1/2 cup whole milk

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 oz white chocolate sauce

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tbsp granulated sugar

3-4 drops red food coloring (gel)

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup fresh brewed coffee

ice

Cream Cheese Whipped Cream

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

1 ounce cream cheese, softened

3 tablespoons powdered sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions:

Place milk, cream and granulated sugar in medium saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring constantly to dissolve sugar.

Remove from heat. Stir in chocolate and white chocolate sauce until melted. Add red food coloring, coffee and vanilla. Place in refrigerator to cool.

While the latte is cooling, make your whipped cream. Beat together the heavy whipping cream, powdered sugar, and vanilla extract in a large bowl.  Once the mixture begins to hold together and resemble whipped cream, fold in the cold cream cheese and continue beating until hard peaks form.

Fill glasses with ice and pour latte in. Top with your cream cheese whipped cream.

Need more ideas on how to take your alcohol-free life beyond non-alcoholic Valentine’s drinks?

Do you need support beyond non-alcoholic Valentine’s drinks? Could you use additional tips on taking a break from alcohol? Download our free e-book – 6 Best Tips For Taking A Break From Booze. Click here to get your copy!

And if you’re looking for a community to support you and to swap more alcohol-free drink ideas with – join us in The Alcohol Experiment. It has helped over 400K people take a 30-day break from alcohol, change their thinking, and find balance in their lives!

More Alcohol-Free Drinks

If you need more alcohol-free drinks ideas or you’re wondering if NA drinks are even ok to indulge in – we’ve got you covered!

Celebrate National Mocktail Week with these 5 Drink Recipes!
How To Make 5 Festive Non-Alcoholic Holiday Drinks This Season
Make These 4 Non-Alcoholic Drinks For November
4 Best Spirit-Free Beverages To Try For Sober October
Try These 7 Amazing Drinks For Sober September
The 7 Best Drinks For An Alcohol-Free August
How To Go Dry in July -11 Mocktail Recipes To Help You
How to TeeTotal Your June with these Terrific Tea Recipes!
May Mocktail Recipes You’ll Love
4 Mocktail Recipes To Make in April
Make These Alcohol-Free Drink Recipes In March
EP 64: Reader Question – Non-Alcoholic Drinks: Are they okay?
EP 198: Reader Question – Alcohol Free drinks? Are they OK?

Maxi found himself regularly using alcohol to escape. It was his one and only coping mechanism – until it stopped working for him. Despite his young age, Maxi has done a large amount of living in that time. Thanks to This Naked Mind he is now committed to living that life alcohol-free.

Those first drinks

In Australia, it’s pretty common for teenagers to really involve themselves in drinking really early. But for me, it was high school, probably 16 years old, 17 years old, and just drinking on the weekends with friends, but it was crazy from the start. One-liter bottles of Absolut Vodka. I have photos of myself drinking these big, big bottles of straight vodka. I’m a musician. I played in a lot of bands growing up, so you are always in pubs and clubs and venues and there’s always alcohol there. In some gigs, we’re getting paid in beers. That’s where it began for me.

I don’t hate alcohol

The truth is I had a lot of fun during those years of drinking and I hadn’t developed a problem with it yet. I guess when you hear people say normal drinkers, that’s what I was. It didn’t affect my life at all and I really enjoyed it just as much as a lot of people do. That stayed consistent for years, for a long time. I’m only 28 now, but from my entire early twenties, drinking wasn’t an issue for me.

As I got a bit older, I moved into DJing and playing more in clubs and things like that. And obviously, there’s a huge drinking culture there in the clubs and there’s definitely more serious drinking. People were drinking for days and days. That was a huge part of the experience with alcohol. I guess over the last few years, what it’s really been is more of an indulgence, a respectful indulgence. I lived in all these beautiful cities around the world and often you go out and you are making all these new friends and you’re having these beautiful conversations and really progressive, incredible conversations. Maybe not far off delayed of sobriety even, but they were always fueled by alcohol, always. That’s where it sat for me over the last few years until it really took a toll.

Escaping Australia

I moved to London when I was in my early twenties 20s. Once I finished university, I got an incredible opportunity to work at a recording studio there and just gunned it. I had no money. I was sleeping in hostels, even the bag rooms at hostels sometimes because I had no money. And I was working in this insanely famous recording studio and just pretending I was fine. And I was fine. But yeah, I lived in London for a few years, music for filming TV. My job took me to Copenhagen. I lived there for a little while. And then a few trips back to Australia, but I eventually ended up in Paris. That was a couple of years ago, just before the pandemic. That’s when I started to notice my drinking really take a step up.

In Paris, I could catch public transport everywhere. I didn’t have to drive. There was this really beautiful thing about the French culture of waking up and having a glass of wine in the morning and all these romantic ideas that I adored, I really loved. But it was really normalizing alcohol at any time of the day, which eventually probably wore off on me and became a really big problem.

Using alcohol to escape

When the pandemic happened, the French government canceled my visa and sent me back to Australia. I didn’t know how long it was going to last, so I didn’t really think too much of it. But when I got back to Australia, quickly I was in lockdown. Melbourne had one of the most severe lockdowns. You couldn’t leave five kilometers, which is a few miles from your house. There was a curfew. You had to be home by a certain time. I think it was 5:00 PM. You could only leave once a day to get groceries.

It was quite intense. From Paris, I was in what felt like a new city. I didn’t have that many friends. I couldn’t make any new ones because I was stuck in lockdown. I do think I started using alcohol to escape or just as a time killer. I was still motivated in parts of my life. I bought a piano and I was playing that every day. But it quickly got to 10, 11 in the morning and I’m just like, all right, when’s an appropriate time to have a drink? That’s when I first started noticing that I was starting to use it to get to sleep, to escape, and to cope.

Where it all went crazy

Lockdown ended and I moved to Byron Bay. I was just very, very involved with drinking then. You’re always at the pub, socially, you’re always drinking alcohol. It just became more and more every day. And because I was only just working for myself at that point, I didn’t have to be anywhere. No one knew how much I was drinking and my housemates were drinking the same. They’d drink a bottle of wine with me every night and had to change their relationship with it and cut back. And I was like, “Oh my God, I’m just getting started with this. I really just getting started with this.”

This is crazy. I was drinking a bottle of wine at night, easily two bottles of wine at night. And that quickly went from wine to hard liquor really fast. I was living on wine basically. During the day, I did nothing. I went down to the beach with the dog and I’d stare at the horizon completely dissociated and feeling like I couldn’t see properly because I was not fueling myself properly. Then just getting drunk every night or being drunk all the time. Every day I was using alcohol to escape.

What is wrong with me?

I’m kicking myself, being like, what is going on with me? Why do I feel like I’m losing myself? Where are all the parts of me going? I never even considered that alcohol was the problem. Then, we got hit by the Northern Rivers flood disaster. It was really bad. It was a really intense time. Just dropped everything and spent a month, just over a month, just shoveling out people’s houses and trying to recover their possessions. It was just like, drop everything, all systems on this. Through that, after I’ve done a month of just volunteering. I just had a full mental health collapse. At that point, I was drinking all day every day. Even as I was volunteering, I was having little shots of vodka and stuff just to get me through. I was drinking all day, every day.

I need to stop using alcohol to escape

I reached out to my friend who had experienced some issues with alcohol and they recommended me an app. That app very quickly led me to you. It was the first thing, the very first thing that I found through the app was This Naked Mind Podcast. I started listening to it. At this time, I was still drunk. I was still drinking every day, but I was just listening to this podcast and I was hooked immediately.

And things just started clicking in my head. I realized I wasn’t alone. You had mentioned something or one of your guests would mention something and I would just be like, “Oh my God. Of course, I’m waking up at 3:00 AM in the morning because my brain’s going crazy.” Everything started making sense and I spent two weeks trying to get that first day and then I made it. I haven’t gone back since.

Start reading

Are you ready to stop using alcohol to escape? Start reading This Naked Mind for free now and find your freedom!

Getting better

That’s one thing that just keeps coming back to me, If you get yourself to a better place, you’re in a better position to help yourself. You just have to force yourself through those hard parts to get yourself to a better mind frame, to be able to help yourself in a better way, in a way that you didn’t imagine that you could. That just keeps coming up for me now.

Hear more from Maxi on his podcast episode – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-541-naked-life-story-maxi/

Share your story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you stop using alcohol to escape? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

Living alcohol-free didn’t come quickly or easily to Darcy. And happily living alcohol-free took even longer! Darcy shares her journey, her struggles, and her triumphs in her Naked Life story below.

Alcohol’s place in my life

My mother gave me a set of very frightening experiences through her own drinking, and that of her boyfriends. This led to my own complicated relationship with alcohol. Which, of course, was influenced by how complicated life can get as well. As with so many other people, I was aware that I was drinking regularly, but it did not occur to me that I had a ‘problem’ until I got pregnant, and stopping was hard for me; harder than I expected it to be. So off and on, from about age 30 until now (55) I loosely thought about it from time to time.

There might be an issue here

Alcohol became an issue for me when I stopped drinking while pregnant. It was harder than I realized it would be. That’s pretty much when I realized that I had a dependency. I had a pretty rough early childhood, with some abandonment issues and so forth. But I think my drinking really ramped up when I realized that I was a lesbian and I was thinking about ending my marriage of 20 years. I also had two small children.

Further complicating things was some internal shame around my own mother’s behavior and I was very very worried about repeating her mistakes. It didn’t help that when I was ending my marriage, I was the age she was when she ended hers (in a rather more spectacular fashion than me). Anyway, there was a lot of grief for me and my husband around ending our marriage. We actually continued to live together for a long time ‘for the kids’, which made the negotiations and adjustments a very prolonged affair (still no regrets, though).

We both drank a lot over that time. Enter a few toxic relationships with women, and it was a perfect storm of self-medication which continued even though I am settled now and in a beautiful relationship with my wife.

Making attempts to change

When I was particularly unhappy with myself, I would think about going to AA, or I would cast around for that ‘one thing’ that I thought might be missing in my life. Or I’d rely on pure willpower when it came to my drinking. I would negotiate and bargain with myself about drinking only on certain days of the week; drinking only a set amount; things like that. I did what so many of us do. Searching for the elusive secret to happily living alcohol-free. I went to AA once and it was disastrous. Really, the options were pretty limited when it came to changing my drinking.

Discovering the secret to happily living alcohol-free

A google search brought me to This Naked Mind. And I will forever be grateful for that. It honestly was not until I read This Naked Mind that I truly understood the nature of the substance, the addictive process, and the cycle of cravings. It was quite revolutionary for me. EVEN THEN though, it still took about 4 Alcohol Experiments for it to sink in. My final one was in the July Live AE. I then went into the PATH. What I have learned, is that I need constant engagement with the content, the ideas, and the science to stay energized about an AF life. That’s the main reason I joined The Path, even though I was pretty happily living alcohol-free.

Start reading and start happily living alcohol-free

Are you ready to see what helped Darcy start happily living alcohol-free? Download a free sample of This Naked Mind to begin your journey!

My secret to happily living alcohol-free

This Naked Mind, The Alcohol Experiment, and The PATH were the only things that helped me. The science that I discovered in the Alcohol Experiment was totally new to me. I’m a scientist myself, and I really related to that method of learning. This was also true for the book. The podcasts are also incredibly useful because I find that I need almost daily connection with some kind of learning content, in order to battle off the ‘fading effect bias‘. So if I had to sum it up, the science, Annie’s own personal story, her passion and dedication, her research, the immersion with content, and my involvement with every program on offer has helped me enormously. I love learning, particularly when I am surprised. The curiosity factor works miracles for me.

Living free

I live life alcohol-free. It’s still pretty new, even though I’ve done 12 months in the past. My current AF stint is nearly 90 days long. The biggest thing is that my relationship with my wife has improved out of this world. I don’t have resentment and anxiety over things that don’t matter. I am innately more joyful, although I think I still have some work to do in this area. It’s not all sunshine and roses all the time, but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was, and importantly, I am now positioned to make positive changes. Making a big change of the kind I want to make is literally impossible while drinking. To sum it up, I’m much happier and I now have the tools and ability to make changes.

Share Your Story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you find your secret to happily living alcohol-free? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

You did it! You made it through Dry January! Maybe you stayed alcohol-free all 31 days, and perhaps you had a Damp January instead where you cut back on your alcohol intake. Here at This Naked Mind, we celebrate your wins no matter your chosen path. Because to us awareness around your relationship with alcohol and a desire to change it is far more important than the numbers you can check off. So what happens when Dry January ends?

Do you go back to drinking the way you did before? Should you remain alcohol-free? Where is the road map to navigating your relationship with alcohol after taking a break from it? Why has no one made a manual on this? The reality is that where you go from here is an individual choice. We can’t plot the journey out for anyone but we can offer some tips, advice, and questions to consider on what to do when Dry January ends.

Questions to ask yourself when Dry January ends

1 – What benefits did you get from your break from booze?

If you’re trying to decide where you go from here in your relationship with alcohol, it’s important to reflect back upon where you’ve come from. What benefits did you experience while taking a break or cutting back on drinking? How would that change if you resumed drinking? Is that what you want for yourself? For example, if eliminating alcohol for 31 days led to less anxiety and better sleep, is it worth it to you to go back to Wednesday night happy hour?

Life is about trade-offs so when we’re considering what we get in exchange for what we give up, we want to make sure that the trade-off is worth it. Alcohol gives you a twenty-minute high. So that is your ultimate trade-off here. You’re exchanging a twenty-minute high for whatever benefits you found while staying alcohol-free.

2 – How do you define success?

Taking a break from alcohol is great but we all do it with a goal in mind. How do you define success? If your goal was just to take a break from alcohol, you have achieved it. Well done! But if you went into this challenge because there were aspects of your relationship with alcohol that didn’t sit right with you, you might still have work to do. Are you in a place where you feel like you’re in control of alcohol? Or do you still have misgivings or fears that once you go back to drinking, nothing will have changed? Digging deep into those thoughts can help you determine what a successful relationship with alcohol will look like for you!

3 – What benefit will you get from going back to drinking?

This question might be the one that is toughest to face. What benefit do you believe will come from going back to drinking the way you did before? This one is hard because now you need to look at what you’ve been using alcohol for. If drinking has been your go-to for socializing, dealing with your feelings, falling asleep, and everything in between – you might think that you’d benefit from going back to it. Yet, is that sort of life what you really want for yourself? Or would you rather do the work that allows you to deal with anything that life throws at you without needing a drink to get through it?

What you can tell others when Dry January ends?

Often it isn’t what we think that makes us worry about what to do when Dry January ends. It’s about justifying our decision not to drink to others. If you’re worried about what you can say to others when Dry January ends, here are some tips:

1 – I’m trying it out a bit longer.

You don’t have to put a timeline on this. Just be honest. Tell anyone who asks how great you feel. Tell them that you’re enjoying all the benefits you’ve found from not drinking and that you’re curious to see what a longer break can do for you. If you put an end date on it, someone will undoubtedly pressure you to drink as soon as that date comes. Don’t define a timeline for anyone else. Maintain control by not giving anyone else power over you and your choices.

2 – I like how I feel

No one can really argue with feeling good! I mean what kind of friend would say – “Have a drink so you can feel worse?” Not a very convincing argument – right? So be honest. Say you’re not drinking because you feel good right now and you’d like to see what other benefits await you. Because the longer you go past when Dry January ends, the more benefits you’ll experience!

3 – It’s health-related

Go ahead and tell them that it’s health-related. Most people won’t question things beyond that and you’re being truthful. Your decision to extend Dry January is health-related. Related to how your health is improving now that you’re not drinking like you use to and related to how alcohol negatively impacts your health in the first place!

4 – I’m driving/I have an early commitment

Any variation of a responsibility that keeps you from being able to drink is easy for others to understand. Those that are still pressuring you to drink after you tell them that are only doing it to feel better about their own plans for the night. It’s not your responsibility to change your relationship with alcohol in order to appease others. One way or the other! So just let them know you have a commitment that keeps you from drinking and leave it at that!

5 – I’m good.

The best explanation is none at all. It’s no one else’s business if you’re drinking or not. We don’t question what someone else is eating, wearing, reading, etc. So why do we need to justify what we are or are not drinking to others? Go ahead and blow off the questions or tell that nosy individual that you aren’t going to discuss this with them. You don’t owe anyone an explanation regarding your personal relationship with alcohol!

What happens when Dry January ends?

There is so much still ahead of you when Dry January ends. 30 days alcohol-free just gives you the slightest glimpse of what living life free of alcohol (define that however you will) is like. Still to come are all of the ups and downs life brings. Your first year in this new relationship with alcohol is truly amazing. You have the privilege of experiencing everything for the first time without the cloud of alcohol fogging and numbing every experience.

Does this journey get easier or harder?

Is that a trick question? It all depends on how you look at it. There are elements that are hard. After all, you’re dealing with many emotions and experiences without the numbing effects of alcohol. That can seem hard. Especially because you’re actually dealing with life now rather than avoiding it. So yes, that is hard but also beautiful.

The easier part is in the tools that you’re building. Your coping mechanisms change and you actually begin to look forward to doing the work on yourself. There is such a rush and feeling of satisfaction when you can look back and see how much progress you’ve made.

Tips to Maintain Control When Dry January Ends

Are you afraid that you’ll find it hard to maintain control over alcohol when Dry January ends? You’re not alone. Many of us find that as time goes on we forget why drinking the way we were wasn’t right for us. We almost get complacent because as we stay alcohol-free and maintain control over our lives we forget that alcohol was the reason for the chaos. We’re feeling great and start to think that maybe a drink or two more won’t hurt anything. You can stay in control by –

1 – Record keeping

To keep yourself from having a hard time maintaining control when Dry January ends, make sure to keep records of your journey. This could be a journal, a vlog, notes on your phone, or whatever works best for you. Record the benefits you’re experiencing from changing your relationship with alcohol and contrast them with how you felt while drinking like you used to. Track your experiences, take note of your emotions, and record how you feel mentally and physically. Having this material to reference later is such a valuable resource!

This new life can become your new normal but that doesn’t mean you need to be complacent or romanticize what drinking was like. When those thoughts begin, reach into your records for a stark reminder of how much your life has improved now that you can maintain control over alcohol. Having a record of exactly how alcohol made you look, feel and act and why you quit in the first place is such a powerful tool.

2 – Reshape your beliefs

When Dry January ends, your triggers and former reasons for drinking still exist. When these triggers pop up, you have to consciously choose to respond rather than react. Your automatic reaction might be “I need a drink”. You can respond instead and lean into that belief. That can look like asking things like, “Do I really need a drink? What benefit do I think a drink will bring me? Where is this belief coming from? Is it true?” Now you’ve brought that belief to light you have control over it. You can examine its truth and reshape it. That means the next time that belief pops up and you think “I need a drink,” you can answer back with “Actually, I don’t. Drinking won’t help me right now at all.” You’ve empowered yourself to control your beliefs around alcohol and to respond rather than react to them.

3 – Start something new

Boredom is a huge factor in why we go back to drinking when Dry January ends. We eliminate drinking and often the activities that went along with it but we don’t introduce anything to take its place. That’s just ludicrous when we’ve finally put ourselves in a position to engage with and enjoy life. Life doesn’t need to be boring now. You have the freedom to do all those things that drinking held you back from. Go back to school. Take on new hobbies. Join that club. Find a new sport. Life is limitless now. Read new books. Start a podcast. This is a new version of you. The version you get to craft and create into whomever you always wanted to be!

4 – What’s your driver?

Staying motivated when Dry January ends can be a challenge. You can’t hold onto that pink cloud forever. The newness fades and life becomes daily. To stay motivated you need to take note of what your driver is. What are your why’s for doing this? What aspects of this new life support those whys? Bringing those benefits to the forefront of your mind can help you to stay motivated. Some people even carry their why’s with them so they can remind themselves in moments when motivation fades. Make it your background on your phone, attach it to your key chain, sticky note it to your desk – make sure your why is never far from you so it can keep being your driver!

5 – Support makes it sticky

When Dry January ends we often feel alone. People didn’t mind joining us for a month-long challenge but they cringe at the idea of keeping that experiment going. That just means you need new people in your life! If you need coaching and guidance on what to do next there’s The PATH by This Naked Mind. You can also sign up for another 30 days of being alcohol-free and more knowledge in The Alcohol Experiment. We have a supportive community available to you at any time in the This Naked Mind Companion App along with so many other great groups. Expand your community and let them help you stay alcohol-free.

What you need to do when Dry January ends

Dry January ends just like every other month does. That doesn’t mean that you need to end your quest to reshape and reimagine your relationship with alcohol. Flipping the calendar to a new month doesn’t mean you must pick up drinking the way you did before. Now is your opportunity to evaluate how much of a role you’d like alcohol to play in your life. This doesn’t have to be a life-long choice either. You can choose what works for you now and change that in the future if you feel called to do so.

Read This Naked Mind for more support when Dry January ends

There is one book that has helped so many people change their relationship with alcohol when nothing else has worked. Start reading This Naked Mind immediately and change how you feel about alcohol forever!

Like so many of us, Matt was convinced his alcohol off switch was defective. He could never find traction when taking a break from drinking. And once he started, there was no stopping. Matt committed to changing his relationship with alcohol after an enlightening conversation with a friend. Discover how he finally found his alcohol off switch.

Alcohol was always there

Alcohol has always been in my life from a very early age. I had a very happy childhood, don’t get me wrong, but it was always surrounded by alcohol and pubs on family occasions. Living and growing up in the UK means that alcohol is always part of your life and culture. We would often go to the pub with my parents as children. As teenagers, we’d try to get served and then it almost became a requirement for work and social life through to the present day. I could tell many stories about how alcohol was part of my journey growing up.

Celebrating alcohol

It has always been part of my life and the culture, as I mention as someone in the UK, it was unheard of that someone didn’t drink! Alcohol has remained a constant in my life from my teenage years through to becoming an adult, a husband, and a father. I also worked in a culture that was heavily based around alcohol, we had a mantra around “Work hard, play hard. Man at night, man in the morning”. You were celebrated if you didn’t go to bed and drank through to the morning sales meeting. It was encouraged not to have an alcohol off switch. Even now in 2023, the culture is still very boozy but it is changing I think. I want to be part of that change.

The impact of my drinking

I guess from 18 through to my 40s I could identify so many issues related to my drinking. Driving while intoxicated, working while drinking, dark moods, depression, and anxiety based on binge drinking. All of this has been part of my life. Some of the hangovers have been truly crippling and made me struggle. So I’d say the usual rhetoric “That’s it, I am never drinking again“… Only to be sipping a beer 5 days later.

Working around my drinking

I used to plan my work around my drinking.

One example, of many, I was traveling to a sales meeting in Prague, Czech Republic, and the meeting would start at 12:00 CET.

Now I could have flown out with some of my colleagues that morning and returned the same day. I didn’t do that! I flew the night before safe in the knowledge that I could drink. So I’d book my flight to arrive the day before at 17:00 CET. I wouldn’t drink at the airport or on the flight, but I would be so excited that this was happening. My wife would often say that before I went away with work I would be “child-like excited” that I was going away. She would later tell me that she dreaded me coming home because she knew I would be miserable.

All in

Anyway, I would check in, hang my suit up, iron a shirt fresh for the morning, and look at the gym gear that I packed from home knowing it would never leave that bag or room. Then I would then find a bar nearby so I wouldn’t have to experience a chance meeting with a colleague at the hotel bar. My evening would entail sitting alone and drinking 6 – 7 pints of lager beer. Because I didn’t have an alcohol off switch.

I wouldn’t speak to anyone, I would just sit with my phone and zone out into a state of bliss.

The next day I would attend the meeting and go through the motions, feeling the depression creep in because I knew that the visit was coming to end. I would then return home and be unbearable for 24 / 48 hours whilst I came to terms with what had happened.

This happened every single time I went away for work.

No alcohol off switch

I never have an alcohol off switch. I could never go out and just have one drink! That was unheard of! I would quit for a week and promise myself that was it, read books, and listen to podcasts but I would always fail! I’d try Dry January and would do that for a maximum of 14 days and then find an excuse… “Well, you don’t drink much anyway”… “Well you achieved 14 days…” etc etc.

The best I have ever abstained from alcohol in 30 years is 47 Days. I would find excuses and fall back into the lifecycle of binge drinking, hangover, 2 – 3 days of depression, quit for a week… and repeat!

The turning point

A few months ago, I met with an old colleague, who shared identical drinking patterns to myself in the past. He said that he realized he was a functional alcoholic. I was amazed by this and thought well that’s not me. But over the course of the next hour that we chatted everything he mentioned I could 100% relate to.

Planning business trips around drinking. Making sure that if he was going out for the evening he had alcohol at home in case it is needed when he got back at the end of the evening. If he went to the shop he bought more alcohol than he needed because he knew when he started drinking he didn’t want to run out.

The anxiety that he felt before going to the pub, rushing to get out the door so that he could get to the pub as early as possible and any delay from friends or family would make him so angry! Another soul without an alcohol off switch.

It was at this moment that I realized this was me! 100% it was me. That was the turning point and the start.

Finding my alcohol off switch

I decided I needed to dedicate myself to learning how to create my alcohol off switch. I had heard of Annie’s books in the past and then I also heard about Annie, whilst reading a book by Simon Chapple. All these great books started me thinking about my own relationship with alcohol.

What really drove me forward on my own personal journey (and it is a personal journey) was the podcast. I was searching for podcasts and having heard of Annie I looked up if she had a podcast. That got me involved in the programs. Currently, I am coming to the end of the Alcohol Experiment 30-day challenge.

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Keeping my alcohol off switch turned on

I knew I need all the knowledge I could get in order to engage my alcohol off switch. I really enjoy Naked Life Story podcasts. Whenever I listen to a personal story there is always something that I can relate to… “Judgement, Culture, Social Interactions, etc.” It gives me a feeling that I am not alone and we are all on a similar path/journey. I would very much like to tell my own story and/or present a live or virtual event.

I have hope now

For the first time ever and I do mean ever, having tried multiple times in the past 20 years, I do have a path forward.

In the past when I tried to quit, I wanted everyone around me to quit, and if they didn’t I was outraged! I now know that this is my journey, my path and that I need to do this for myself! That is key. I used to think well I am quitting how dare my wife have a glass of wine…

When the reality is I am projecting my problems onto my wife and others…now I realize this is my journey and my change to make.

My advice to others

Don’t start!…

Seriously, it would be don’t start drinking… I would sit myself down and say “Look you are one of life’s people that can’t just have one drink or drink in moderation…You just can’t do it! So don’t start..!”

However, if I did start and I still had to pass down something it wouldn’t I would start by saying “Don’t quit for family, friends, or work but quit for you… This is your journey and you need to own it and do it for yourself!”. I would also add “That you will be okay and there is support out there and most of the time when you tell people you don’t drink, they wish they could do the same”. 

Share Your Story

Did This Naked Mind help you find your alcohol off switch? Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you find your freedom? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!

How often have you asked yourself “How do I moderate my drinking?”? How many Google searches have you completed on “How do I control my drinking?”? If you’ve lost count, and you’re still drinking more than you’d like to – you’re not alone! And there is hope – no matter how many times you feel like you’ve failed and no matter how many methods you’ve tried in order to moderate drinking.

I want to moderate my drinking.  It seems like we’ve all said it. And research shows that many of us are indeed trying it. An October 2022 study by Veylinx shows that almost half of Americans are attempting to cut back or control their drinking.  And we try it in so many ways –

“I’ll only drink twice a week.”

“No drinks after 8 pm.”

“I’ll stick to the alcohol I don’t really like!”

We love to create rules around our drinking but following them is often a much different story!

And asking “How do I moderate my drinking?” is such a double-edged sword. A choice like that should be celebrated, right? We hear it all the time – “drink responsibly” – so we decide we’re going to. We want to be healthy and mindful when we drink. But those same people telling us to do that are promoting Vinyasa and Vino or a brewery-sponsored 5K. How can one drink responsibly when you’re getting such mixed messages? Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not taking!

And that is where the moderation struggle enters. We want to control our drinking. To drink less so no one asks questions and assumes we might have a problem. Because it’s only with alcohol that you have a problem if you drink too much, or don’t drink at all. So we search for the middle ground. How do you find the point where you can drink enough to keep yourself and everyone around you happy? We’re looking for that elusive point but it seems like when you want to moderate drinking, finding the happy medium is a never-ending quest.

If you want to know how to moderate your drinking, you need to start with the science of moderation. And it’s not going to be easy to process some of this information. It will probably stir up some cognitive dissonance inside of you. Cognitive dissonance is when you read or learn doesn’t seem to fit with what you think or want to be true. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s actually where change happens. All growth happens outside of our comfort zones.

You can learn how to moderate your drinking, but that might not mean what you think it does. Read on to see what I mean by that!

This won’t be easy

You’ve probably already figured this out in your research for answers on how do I moderate my drinking but just in case you haven’t, I’m going to put it out there in plain language.

Moderation is hard.

Millions of us have tried moderation. For years. With many failed attempts and lessons learned. And it creates this horrible cycle where we beat ourselves up for failing. And what do we do when we feel badly about ourselves? Yep – we drink more to numb the pain. And the cycle keeps repeating.   

Over time, this cycle makes us believe that we’re not even capable of doing this. We start to think that there must be something wrong with us. This shouldn’t be so hard. Other people can control their drinking! We create so much doubt within ourselves when we can’t moderate our drinking.

Earlier I mentioned cognitive dissonance. I said what you read here might create some cognitive dissonance inside of you. And if you’ve been trying to figure out how do I moderate my drinking for a while now, you’re probably already familiar with what cognitive dissonance is.  We experience cognitive dissonance when we want two opposing things at the same time.  In this case, it’s whether to drink or not. That dilemma creates such an internal conflict. It’s stressful and can make everything seem so miserable. When you want two opposing choices, it seems like no matter what you choose, you lose.

Even worse – that conflict didn’t even exist until we started to figure out how to moderate drinking. Creating the rules and placing the limits (and being unable to or not liking it) is what creates the strife. But once you’re aware you can’t go back. Even if you stop trying to moderate and just drink as much as you want. Because now you know that you are not in control. But that does not mean that you can’t be happily in control. It is possible to eliminate that cognitive dissonance and to create a relationship with alcohol that isn’t stressful or depressing.

Why do we even want to moderate our drinking?

What is it that makes us even want to control the amount of alcohol we drink? Why is it so hard to just take it or leave it? What is it that we truly want to get from alcohol?

Most of us drink for one of two reasons/beliefs. They are:

1. That alcohol enhances our experiences

2. That living life without alcohol is miserable

We think that alcohol allows us to feel a particular way. Happier, more relaxed, more outgoing, and so on. These beliefs are ingrained in us and we do not question them. They are the gospel truth so we do everything we can to maintain a relationship with alcohol in our lives.

This is because we only do the things that we believe will be of benefit to us. It’s not like we ever seek out to do something so we can feel poorly or have a bad day. The opposite is true so since we believe that alcohol helps enhance our lives, we continue to drink it. (Even if other experiences have shown us that alcohol might not be as beneficial as we’d like to believe.)

These beliefs often show up like:

• A drink is the best way to relax after a long day at the office
• I need to have a drink in order to loosen up and be social.
• It’s not a party until the drinks come out!
• Alcohol is what allows me to express my true feelings. I’m too closed up without it!

Why do I want to figure out how to moderate my drinking?

Because we give alcohol all of this power over us and believe we can’t live life productively and happily without it we do everything we can to keep it in our lives. We want to control it because we’re convinced that life without it will just be miserable.

We also want to know how to moderate drinking because of what others will think. Society tells us that there are either “normal” drinkers or alcoholics. If we can control our drinking it means that we fall into the normal category. It means we’re a respectful, responsible person. That there is nothing wrong with us.

So we want to moderate drinking to maintain that illusion. To convince ourselves that if we achieve just the right balance we can drink and have all the “benefits” of alcohol without any of the repercussions. Because if we can’t we might need to admit to a problem we are loathsome to face.

The moderation rollercoaster

So that we can be normal and not face the stigma that we fear if we stop drinking we climb on the moderation rollercoaster. We cut back and create rules. We ride along but inevitably we end up drinking the same amount or even more. And that fills us with so many emotions. Fear, shame, guilt – all uncomfortable feelings. So we drink to numb those feelings. To avoid. To forget.  

This rollercoaster keeps circling with ups and downs. We want to get off but find we can’t. And the questions begin –

“What is wrong with me?”

“Why can’t I stop?”

“Why can’t I drink like other people do?”

Maybe, just maybe, we’re asking ourselves the wrong questions! What if we started questioning why we have to justify not drinking? Why have we made an addictive drug the thing that makes us normal?

What if alcohol doesn’t provide any benefit? What if there’s actually something wrong with alcohol?

Does moderation work?

I am NOT here to tell you that moderation is wrong. Or that it’s just not an option for anyone. In fact, for many people leaving the option to moderate open is the only way they can even consider changing their relationship with alcohol. So that in and of itself is an example of how moderation can work. It creates hope and space in our lives to explore our relationships with alcohol. It opens us up to wanting to learn more about alcohol, how it works on our bodies and minds, and what we can do to regain our control over it. So even if moderation might not look the way we envision it will when we start this journey – it does work.

How do I moderate my drinking – Step 1

Awareness Alley

One thing you’ll hear me say often is:

All change happens on the other side of awareness.

And that is where your moderation journey will begin as well. By practicing awareness. You need to raise your awareness of what issues exist so you can then do what needs to be done in order to solve them. You can’t fix a problem you’re not aware of.

The process of raising awareness can be painful at times. We often drink to avoid our problems so being forced to face them isn’t all that pleasant but it is necessary. And there is pleasure in finding a resolution. There is peace in realizing our problems and finding a way forward. In realizing that we aren’t stuck and that we do have options and different choices available to us. So step one in learning to moderate is awareness.

You need to be mindful of the reasons you drink. What are you using alcohol for and what is alcohol helping you to avoid? Because there is no way forward until you know what you are trying to leave behind.

Moderating drinking – Step 2

Decision Depot

Decision-making fatigue is a huge contributor to drinking for many of us. It’s what makes moderation difficult for use too. Every day we make thousands of decisions – big and small. What to wear, what to eat. Stairs or elevator? Meeting or email? On and on the decisions pile up. And so does the fatigue at having to make them. For many of us, the desire and ability to make good decisions has been depleted by the time we clock out of work. And that is why it’s easy to drink too much at happy hour or while cooking dinner. Because it’s easier to say yes to another drink then to consider whether it’s a good idea to have one.

One of the best ways you can moderate your drinking is to make a firm commitment before you even have a drink. So, if you already know that the day will be a stressful one and leave you depleted – make the choice not to drink at all that day from the get-go. Don’t leave the option to drink on the table. Because if moderation is about being able to control your drinking, you need to be in a state of mind where you CAN be in control of it. And being mentally depleted isn’t conducive to that.

How do I moderate my drinking – Step 3

Tricky Tolerance

What makes moderation especially tricky is tolerance. Tolerance when it comes to alcohol means that after continued drinking, consumption of a constant amount of alcohol produces a lesser effect or increasing amounts of alcohol are necessary to produce the same effect. Struggling to understand why tolerance can make moderation tricky? Well, if we’re drinking to get a certain effect from alcohol – a buzz or a high and we’ve created a high tolerance level – we won’t get what we’re looking for if we have given ourselves a limit. So we’ll say we’re only having two drinks but those two drinks didn’t do anything for us. We assume this means that we’re moderating our drinking well. That we can tolerate more alcohol without any ill effects but that isn’t true. We’ve created a need for more alcohol and we’re chasing a high that will always need more to get there.

Moderating drinking – Step 4

Pleasure Points

One of the things that it is especially crucial to do when you want to moderate your drinking is to relearn how to experience pleasure. Alcohol not only dulls your ability to feel pleasure but it also releases an unnaturally high level of dopamine (the pleasure chemical) when you drink it. So your brain gets really confused and starts thinking that natural highs – a warm chocolate chip cookie, a hug, dancing, sex, exercise – no longer feel good and that alcohol is the pinnacle of pleasure. Moderating your drinking means teaching your brain to once again recognize all these natural sources of pleasure.

How do I moderate my drinking – Step 5

Connection Counts

One of the things that I’ve learned is most crucial on this journey is connection. Changing your relationship with alcohol is extremely difficult to do without support and without connection. And when you feel as if you’re the only one looking to create a healthier relationship with alcohol, it may seem that the journey isn’t worth the trouble.

100% without a doubt – it’s worth it.

You aren’t alone on this journey and there is support available. Check out the always free Alcohol Experiment to connect with the over 400,000 people who also got curious about their relationships with alcohol and decided to explore what a life with less alcohol in it could look and feel like for them. Join here and never again feel like you’re alone on this path!

Learning how to live without alcohol was a struggle that Ali endured for years. No matter how many issues alcohol created in her life, she just couldn’t seem to find freedom from it. It took a fateful Google search and discovering This Naked Mind to make her realize that she could indeed live without alcohol and live well without it. Read on as she shares her story.

Why I chose alcohol

Growing up my dad was a heavy drinker. Mum wasn’t although she suffered depression and anxiety and a traumatic childhood herself. This set the stage for my own issues with anxiety, depression, and alcohol. Being the youngest of 7 I have abandonment issues. Alcohol was the liquid that made me feel like I ‘belonged’

Alcohol was everything

For 35 years I believed alcohol was the be-all and end-all. Alcohol allowed me to express myself. It was the secret elixir for talking to men, dancing, commiserating, and being happy. I believed it was my ‘friend’. Alcohol was everywhere in my life and I created that. I didn’t know that I could live without alcohol. I was always deep down questioning it, especially after nursing hangovers for days at a time, vowing never to drink that much again. In 2015 I tried hypnotherapy. For nearly 3 months I didn’t drink or smoke pot, but once the summer came so did the drinking. Without any tools in place, I was always going to fail.

Alcohol ruined everything

As time went on it became apparent that alcohol was becoming a problem for me. In the early days, I found myself self-medicating with alcohol. The loss of my dog, my parents separating, and failed love relationships they were all reasons I couldn’t live without alcohol. I had too many rock bottoms including losing my license 3 times! Falling over and cracking my jaw, falling over and splitting my eyebrow, not being a present mum, resenting my only child for wanting me to read her a story or driving her to netball training, staying in a toxic marriage for far too long, not having the courage to leave. All of these issues were caused by alcohol.

What didn’t work

Initially, I wasn’t looking for a way to live without alcohol. I did what most of us do. I decided I would moderate my drinking. That went as well as it does for most. Although, I did quit for the longest when I was pregnant. Then as mentioned before, in 2015 I gave up alcohol for 3 months; white-knuckling it the whole way.

Learning How To Live Without Alcohol

It was time to find a way to live without alcohol. That led me to a Google search which brought me to This Naked Mind. The book was a real eye-opener in the way alcohol messes with our minds. Next, I listened daily to the podcasts. It made me beleive that a life without alcohol was possible.

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Living A Life Without Alcohol

My life is AMAZING!! Living without shame or guilt is so freeing! My future is more stable and calm. I found my voice so no more people pleasing. Also, I have cleared my life of the heavy drinkers and toxic friendships as well. Instead I have found that I am quiet, a homebody, which is a 180 on how my old story used to sound. In the old days I was alcoholic Ali, a party girl, etc. My future is showing my 17 year old daughter that you dont need alcohol to have a good time or to relax. I am helping others realize this too by being a role model on how sobriety looks!

Share Your Story

Did our books, the app, the podcasts, or another program help you live without alcohol? We want you to share your story here and inspire others on their journey!