thepinkattorney

A Series of Lessons for Facebook Attorneys Lesson 2 – Getting Discovery and Reviewing Evidence

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 05:35:25 +0200

In Lesson 1 we discussed how a case starts and that little actual evidence or information is available. Today we are going to talk about getting discovery and reviewing evidence.

In every criminal case the client is entitled to see all the evidence against them. The process of receiving the evidence is called discovery. The attorney will request that the prosecutor provide all evidence available. This is to be received ten (10) days from request. However, you will only receive what they have in the file to that date. Certain items are not always immediately available.

Typically early in the case discovery is limited to any witness statements, officer reports and any statement made by your client. Physical evidence may be available for viewing at the evidence locker. Some evidence is sent to the crime lab for further testing. The testing could be to determine the presence of illegal narcotics, fingerprints, DNA, etc. If the evidence has been sent to the crime lab – get ready to wait. For instance DNA results can take 1 to 1.5 years to return from the lab. Also, electronics are sent to a cyber specialists, and those final reports can take a while.

The discovery process is ongoing. Each time the prosecutor receives additional information, they send supplemental discovery. That means discovery that has not previously been released. A complicated case can have numerous supplemental discovery filings. Some of those may come close to time for trial. It is not guaranteed that all evidence is available and released early in the case, and often the process goes on for a considerable length of time.

The client also has a duty to provide discovery to the State that they intend to use to prove their innocence. For instance, any alibi witnesses, records, or other items the client can use to prove their innocence will be provided to the State. That means that at the time of trial there should be little surprise in the evidence, it will just be the arguments about whether or not the evidence is admissible.

The attorney is responsible for reviewing all of the evidence as it comes in, and investigating any information provided by the client or third parties. If the attorney has information from a witness that could prove their client’s innocence, they have a duty to follow up on that information. The attorney will be watching social media accounts, talking with witnesses, doing back ground research and legal research to defend the client. The attorney gets the opportunity to follow up on all gossip and innuendo to determine credibility.

That means that all the social media posts where Jane “knows” all about the case and posts the things she “knows” the attorney gets to follow up. Often Jane heard it from a friend, who heard from a friend, who…

Part of reviewing evidence is looking for mistakes that were made in the original arrest, the investigation, the credibility of witnesses and admissibility of the evidence. This is when the attorney looks for inconsistencies in witness statements, officer reports and lab results. The information is often used to depose the witnesses to determine if their account of events has changed or to dig deeper into the story of the witness.

A full review of the evidence determines if the attorney needs to file motions to suppress statements and evidence ahead of trial. This is HUGE job, and often takes many hours over many months.

The majority of evidence is not released to the public, and by rule cannot be discussed much at all ahead of trial. If we released all of the evidence to the public ahead of trial, the client could just be tried by the court of public opinion. The information would be quickly released on all forms of media and eliminate any chance of the client getting a fair trial by jury.

Even if all the evidence were released to the public, the fact that the State or client plans to use evidence does not mean it will actually be admissible. There are many rules of evidence, for instance hearsay is a rule of evidence. That means what Jane heard from a friend won’t be admissible.

Facebook lawyers make many assumptions based on gossip and innuendo, and really do not have the benefit of all the evidence or knowledge of the rules on what evidence will be allowed by a court. So, as you see cases discussed in the media and on social media, keep in mind that it is a tiny amount of information with a lot of uneducated assumptions.

The trial is when all the evidence is presented to the jury to make a decision. So, when a case really piques your interest, it is best to wait for the trial and more information before making any final decisions on the “facts.”

Next time we will discuss preparing a case for trial or a plea.

A Series of Lessons for Facebook Attorneys Lesson 1 – The Start of a Criminal Case

Wed, 09 Sep 2020 22:14:11 +0200

Criminal cases garner a huge amount of publicity and social media opinion. Trial by Facebook is a favorite past time of many. However it would seem that most people do not fully understand how the process works. I am going to walk you through the start of a criminal case.

John Doe gets charged with 1st Degree Robbery and arrested. John is entitled to an attorney to represent him, however most of the time the client appears for the initial arraignment without an attorney. The associate circuit judge is going to enter a not guilty plea, as John has the right to counsel. Not to mention in Missouri the initial appearance is with the Associate Circuit Judge who cannot take a guilty plea on a felony on a first appearance. At this stage a bond is set for John’s release or in very violent cases bond is set at NO BOND. That means John is staying in jail until a bond reduction can be addressed.

Usually shortly after this arraignment an attorney enters their appearance for the client. It could be a private attorney or a public defender. At this stage of a case, all the attorney knows is what the client has told them and what is in the short Probable Cause Affidavit prepared to get an arrest warrant. The affidavit contains minimal information, and is in no way a full recap of the evidence in the case. The attorney who just entered is flying mostly blind and waiting on additional information – the actual evidence from the State.

Some of you may find this shocking, but the client’s version of events and the affidavit do not usually match. In fact, it is rare that the client and the police agree on the facts that resulted in arrest. The attorney meets with the client and gets their story, but only reads the affidavit provided by the officer. That means there is very little information that backed up by actual evidence in the beginning. The attorney does not receive the evidence from the State for some time, and begins the defense based on what little information that has been provided by the client.

At the early stages the attorney is likely filing motions for bond reduction to allow the client to be released, and preparing for the preliminary hearing. The preliminary hearing is not about guilt or innocence. The hearing is solely to determine if a felony likely occurred and that your client is the one who committed the felony. There is very little discovery provided prior to this hearing, and the defense attorney is still working from limited information. No one outside the prosecutor’s office has all the evidence or testimony of witnesses at this stage. The case is not ready for trial by jury or Facebook.

Let’s be clear, each Defendant has a right to an attorney and is supposed to be considered innocent, until proven guilty at trial. Trial is still a long way off, as discovery – i.e. the release of actual evidence to the attorney has not happened. However, despite the fact there is little factual information available and the public is not privy to the evidence, people use social media to argue the “merits” of the case. People who have never seen the evidence, were not a witness, do not know any of the parties offer up legal opinions, and determine guilt or innocence based solely on a news story and the tidbits that other social media users post.

Facebook attorneys have already convicted or acquitted a Defendant, and the actual attorney doesn’t even have the evidence to review at this point. The actual attorney is waiting to make any final determinations until all evidence is received and reviewed. That will happen during the discovery process, and we will learn more about that in the next lesson – GETTING DISCOVERY AND REVIEWING EVIDENCE.

When No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Sun, 30 Aug 2020 07:03:06 +0200

I used to wonder why it was said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” If you are doing good you should be getting rewarded or at least a reprieve from punishment. Punishment is for bad deeds, not good ones, right? Not always…

Most of us have a real desire to help others or our community in some way. Maybe it is through our employment, our church, friendships or family the opportunity to help presents itself. With the best of intentions, we often jump in with both feet to help. We become emotionally invested in helping to solve a problem and we are willing to sacrifice personally or even sometimes financially to be part of the solution.

The decision to help and willingness to sacrifice is usually made almost immediately when someone shares a need. Maybe it is because it is someone very close or a situation that makes you feel an emotional connection. Whatever the reason, you jump right into the deep end of the pool to help.

Early on in the decision to help, you may not know of all the actual facts and circumstances. Generally, all information is from the person needing your help. Since each person’s perception is their reality, the facts and circumstances may be skewed. In fact, rarely do two sides share the exact same set of facts, the objective truth lies somewhere in the middle. Nonetheless, you are invested and ready to answer the call.

Now the problem solving begins, and you start uncovering additional facts and circumstances. You offer ideas, assistance, time and emotional support. You try to unravel the knot and find a solution that will HELP.

Sometimes that help causes you the most pain. Sometimes you find that the facts and circumstances presented were almost entirely self serving, and you can’t change the facts or solve the problem. Sometimes you have good facts and evidence, but the problem is still not one that can simply be solved.

You offered your help with confidence that you could help solve the problem, and an unwavering belief in the mission. When suddenly you gain more understanding, it becomes clear that you cannot solve the problem – you become the problem. There is no trophy or ribbon for all the emotion, sacrifice and time you spent trying to help. You were not able to reach the desired outcome, you are now the villain.

You are disappointed and upset, maybe with yourself, that you could not solve the problem. You might be upset that someone you trusted did not give you the truth, and that prevented you from making an educated decision about your ability to help.

Life isn’t fair, and we often do not get the outcome we desire. I do not believe it is because the world is corrupt or people are all mean and dishonest, I believe life simply was never designed to be fair. If we always get the outcome we desire that would mean life was perfect. How do you recognize happiness if you have never experienced sadness.

Maybe that is why they say, “No good deed goes unpunished.” For all your good intentions, you are now being punished by anger, retaliation, emotional distance and discord with someone you care or cared about deeply. Maybe you are embarrassed that you were fooled into helping the wrong person with the wrong mission. While your intentions were good and you did your best, in the end there is discord and disappointment – the punishment.

While I agree some good deeds don’t go unpunished, I have a career that offers me a ringside seat to some unimaginable tragedy born from good intentions. I also get to see people truly changed by those who were willing to reach out a hand to help. The gift is that feeling of knowing that you just made someone’s day, week, season, life a little better just out of kindness and an offer to help.

So as we continue to reach out our hands to help, remember that sometimes that help will go unappreciated and you will feel like no good deed goes unpunished. However, more importantly, many times the good deed results in good work with a good result. It is then we get the reward, we see the reward in someone else’s happiness, humbleness and appreciation for a deed well done.

COVID-19: A Legal Perspective

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 05:26:38 +0200

Without a doubt COVID-19 has invaded our lives in many ways that seemed unimaginable a week or two ago. Shopping is panic and stockpile driven. The kids are out of school and parents are now teachers, in addition to their employment. Parents are stressed about the prospect of losing employment and income. We are facing realities we have never experienced or anticipated. The legal world is no different. COVID-19 has invaded our legal system. There are currently very few exceptions that allow anyone to appear, in person, at legal proceedings. It requires a true emergency situation. A true legal emergency means someone is in danger, so exceptions are made for child abuse and neglect proceedings, emergency custody situations involving dangerous circumstances, a defendant’s right to arraignment and bail. Most of these hearings are being held by video or teleconference right now. Most cases do not involve the necessary level of emergency to be heard. That means you aren’t going to court for your traffic tickets and your divorce or custody case just got put on a sort of hold. Cases set for full trials are currently being rescheduled. This is resulting in significant delays. It means your family situation remains in limbo if you are waiting on the Court to resolve the matter by trial. It also means, sadly, that a number of parents are using this crisis as a way to deny contact to the other parent. There may be certain situations where that is medically necessary, but it should not be used as an excuse to keep children and parents apart. The number of messages and calls law offices are getting is incredible. In general, provided there is no extenuating medical reason, my advice to clients is to continue their normal practice. However, if anyone in the home has been experiencing a fever in the last 48 hours or traveled in the last two weeks it could be precautionary. That means parents should already be discussing how the time with the child will be made up once this situation returns to normal. This virus crisis is unsettling for our children, also. They are aware things are not normal and feel your stress and worry. Let’s try to keep things as “normal” as possible, and let them know both parents are here to support them through a crisis. Technology means FaceTime and Skype are valuable tools to keep in touch. Let them SEE the other parent is ok and let the other parent SEE that the child is ok. Do not amplify an already stressful situation by being petty. Your children NEED and DESERVE better. We are all navigating uncharted territory in the practice of law, so please be patient with your attorneys. While under current orders in Missouri our law practices are “open,” we have to limit contact with clients and practice social distancing. We are all working feverishly on resetting matters that have been postponed. Many are also implementing measures to allow staff to work remotely and to have client meetings by video or teleconference when possible. Right now we do not know how long this “quarantine” and “social distancing” will last. We must all do what we can to help flatten the curve. Your legal matters have not stopped over the virus, and your attorneys commitment to advocating on your behalf has not stopped, it is just evolving to accommodate COVID-19. Your attorneys want to be available to clients as circumstances and your case are evolving and changing. Communications with other attorneys and pleadings to the Court have not stopped, so there is still much work to do. We should be grateful that technology will allow many things to continue in our lives and businesses. I am sure the coming week will bring new news, new policies and new changes as we navigate COVID-19, but rest assured WE CAN and WE WILL OVERCOME! Be kind, be patient, be safe and HELP FLATTEN THE CURVE!

2020 the Year of ""Vision”

Sun, 08 Mar 2020 06:53:25 +0200

I want to apologize for my absence. It was wonderful to hear from so many people that missed my blog posts on the wonderful world of law and life. I have missed YOU, too! I have taken some time for family and vision planning, but I AM BACK! With a VISION!

This year is 2020 which is also the definition of perfect vision. So, this year I am concentrating on “vision” – my personal vision and professional vision. I would not say my vision is anywhere near perfect, but I can wear some glasses. My new “vision glasses.”

With my “vision glasses” I am making a conscious effort to consider each day – What is my vision? What steps can I take in the direction of my vision? Do my decisions further my vision? And each of those questions can be asked about a number of visions.

We all have personal and/or professional goals and dreams. A “vision” of how we would like to see our lives and businesses over time. We beat ourselves up over our failures to achieve our vision, yet we never really change our approach. We keep doing the same things each day and hope that one day we will reach the desired result. In fact, ”Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.”

So, with the understanding by that standard I am insane – this is where I get into a circular pattern on goal setting or “vision” building. I want to make changes, be more efficient, be a better me and on and on. However, I have never seemed to find the time to actually plan for my “vision.” My excuse was that I didn’t have time to make the changes right now, I would get to it Later.

Later is that friend that is always going to catch up with us sometime. Except Later never seems to show up. I could wait on Later for decades! I decided I am going to track down Later and change his name to Right Now!

Right Now is getting things organized and completed. Right Now is making time for my vision of the day, the week, the month, the year, etc. Right Now is a bit of a slave driver, but the accomplishment feels so much better than the guilt of what did not get done. Right Now said the blog needs attention and consistency, and just possibly – a schedule!

Schedule??? That strikes fear in the hearts of many. We can follow a schedule for our job, the kids sporting events, holidays and special occasions. Funny many of us cannot fallow a schedule for self care. Self care includes vision planning, along with health and wellness. Taking time to think and dream and plan is every bit as important as doing.

You wouldn’t build a house without a set of plans. Yet we try to achieve goals without taking time to truly plan and organize the steps. So many of us try to avoid the planning and baby step phases, we want to jump from dream to reality. Those steps toward your goals or vision start the journey. It is the journey to reaching our vision that gives us energy and hope!

I also have to keep in mind that with all my planning there will be unexpected hiccups, the proverbial monkey wrench in the plan. Murphy will make his showing at unexpected times with unexpected consequences. That is just life.

However, each of those unexpected events makes a change in our journey, a change in our experience and possibly a change to our vision. That does not mean we just stop walking toward our goals and visions – even if the vision is ever changing as we travel.

This will be my year of “vision.” Making a concerted effort to establish my visions and goals with a plan to actually achieve them. I will keep you posted on my journey, as I am certain there will be many learning curves and comedic detours. However, I can’t get there if I don’t start walking!

Happy 2020 everyone! I am happy to be back and share with you more blog posts about life and law with a dash of humor! Right Now says you will hear from me at least two times weekly. I am looking forward to it!

CRIMINAL LAW LESSON 101

Thu, 12 Dec 2019 06:59:47 +0200

CRIMINAL LAW LESSON 101 – this post is simply to educate people about how the court operates on criminal cases. A person charged with a felony makes an initial appearance in Associate Circuit Court for an arraignment. Most of the time there is no attorney representing the Defendant at the initial appearance, and regardless of confessions, evidence, etc. the Defendant will not be allowed to plead guilty at the initial appearance. The Associate Court determines if there was probable cause for arrest at a later hearing called a preliminary hearing, at this level the Court doesn’t determine guilt or innocence. If the Associate Circuit Court judge finds there was probable cause for the ARREST, the case is bound over to circuit court for trial and another arraignment date.

At the circuit level, the Defendant has counsel and may enter a guilty plea on the first appearance, but rarely does that happen. Guilt or innocence is determined by a jury trial or bench trial. There are many moving parts to the system, and those parts are designed to make sure Defendants receive fair representation and that everyone is following the rules of law. Proper procedure helps to avoid the need for lengthy and expensive appeals. The fact someone pleads not guilty on a first appearance after the initial arrest is not NEWS. They don’t have the option of pleading guilty to the associate circuit judge without counsel. This is simply a procedure, and not an indicator of how the case will turn out in the end.

Privacy in Critical Condition – Technology is Prime Suspect

Sat, 23 Nov 2019 06:23:16 +0200

Everyone has some expectation of privacy. Many believe they have an absolute right to privacy. Most want to believe they keep their lives private. However, there is very little true privacy due to advances in technology that have us addicted to the internet and computer/phone apps. Let’s start with email. That was our first real “social media.” Unless your email is business related and covered by some sort of legal privacy rules, it is not really private. If you email Jane Doe about all your marital problems, family drama, etc. there is no law that prevents Jane from sharing your email with ten other friends. No real right to privacy. Current social media like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc are not private. The information shared on a your “private” page is only able to viewed by your “friends” if you have chosen privacy settings. However, many of these “friends” take screenshots of things you post and share with others. Many people have their pages set where anyone can view their posts and friends. Social media is not private. Text messages (or Messenger) are becoming the most common form of communication. You pour your heart out to friends and relatives expecting privacy because these are people you love and trust. Maybe you think you are just having a private discussion with a peer, co-worker, etc. Unfortunately, these people may not have the same trust and loyalty to you. They screenshot your entire “private” conversation and share it publicly or with others. Your communication is not private or protected by law. Now if you don’t want to put things in writing, you can could resort to a good old fashioned phone conversation. I know these are rare today, but can be enjoyable. However, a lot of people have installed phone recorders to save for evidence for various reasons. These recordings are perfectly legal in Missouri, so long as one participant knows the call is being recorded. The person recording knows, so that covers the legal application. Any phone call can be recorded by the other party without your knowledge or consent. Again, no privacy or protection from release. We also back up all our information from phones and computers to the “cloud” so that we can retrieve the information if needed. That information is saved on some unknown server in an unknown location only accessible by you and your password. Maybe. That information can be hacked and is certainly reviewed in the event law enforcement is involved. They will get a warrant and have a copy of every single thing you have backed up to that cloud. It is arranged neatly in a report that is provided to the prosecution and defense. It is admissible and no longer private. We can ask our phones, tablets and computers questions that are answered. That information is saved. Then we start getting targeted ads for the items or similar items to what we asked Alexa or Siri to look up for us. Clearly your discussion with your “automated assistant” is not private. Or how does Facebook suddenly know to send you targeted ads for the tires you looked up or asked about yesterday? Without taking some very serious measures and avoiding electronic communication or telephone communication, you gave up your right to privacy when you signed up for the Internet. Despite all the “privacy policies” very little is private today. We traded it for instant access to information and communication. Privacy is in critical condition, and technology is the prime suspect. Be careful with your personal information and your heart. Unfortunately, it won’t be protected from public disclosure and ridicule, unless you are vigilant about protecting what you share. We all make mistakes in this area, but maybe we can each give our privacy a little CPR and bring her back to stable condition.

You Have the Right to Remain Silent – Use It!

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 04:10:50 +0200

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS

We all know the Miranda rights – “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you…” Even though we know we have the right sometimes we don’t use it. Maybe because the person believes they can talk their way out of any trouble or maybe as Ron White said, “I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.” Pretty sure intoxication was the factor in his story, but drunk dialing or drunk chatting with the police is generally not a good idea.

They really mean it when they say anything you say can and will be used against you in a Court of law. Whatever you say to law enforcement is noted. For instance, during a DWI arrest asking the officer, “Do you feel like a hero now?” That makes the report. Also gains you some extra fines or community service.

Another common scenario, during your ride to the police station telling the officers all the reasons your arrest is wrong, those get recorded. Your phone call from the jail it is recorded, just like the sign posted right next to the phone says. Not to mention the irritating robo voice that reminds you frequently the call can be monitored and recorded. It is recorded and provided to your defense attorney. It is now evidence.

Interviews and Interrogations

“Anybody who understands what goes on during a police interrogation asks for a lawyer and shuts up,” ― James Duane, You Have the Right to Remain Innocent

It is a very rare occurrence that an attorney would advise you to meet with the police for an interview, especially without the attorney present. A good rule of thumb is if you are being asked in for an interview where you could be a suspect or person of interest – DO NOT go without an attorney. If you get there and are being asked to waive your Miranda rights do not sign the waiver, ask for your attorney. The interview stops the moment you invoke your right to counsel.

The fact you are being asked to waive rights is an absolute clue that there is the possibility of arrest. It is also an indicator that without your statement or confession there is not sufficient evidence for arrest. Most people are arrested prior to being asked to interview or make a statement. Most times there is sufficient evidence for arrest from witnesses, physical evidence, video/audio recordings and other investigation to make an arrest without ever talking to the suspect. If the police need a confession to make an arrest, the case is probably not strong on its own merit. That is why you should ALWAYS ask for an attorney.

I hear lots of reasons why people chose to make statements without an attorney. The most common thing I hear, “Innocent people don’t need attorneys.” Really? You say you are innocent, yet at the end of the interview you got arrested. Your words can be twisted. You can say things that you think sound reasonable, that the officer doesn’t find reasonable at all. If you are being questioned about a crime, they are looking to make an arrest. That officer has a job. The job is to solve a crime by arrest.

Your words often come back to haunt you. Your attorney can attempt to have your statement suppressed, so that the statement can’t be used at a trial. However, there are only a few exceptions that allow the statement to be suppressed. Rarely does the Court rule that the statement is inadmissible. The real problem here is that if your statement needs suppressed, you already got arrested and the suppression hearing does not come quick. Procedurally a suppression hearing comes way down the road after arrest. You could spend a considerable amount of time in jail or out on bond before there is ever a hearing about your statement.

You have an absolute right against self-incrimination and an absolute right to have an attorney present for questioning. Invoke your rights, and get an attorney with the requisite experience and knowledge to help you decide if an interview is in your best interest. REMAIN SILENT!

Mom Always Said, ""LOOK IT UP!”

Sun, 10 Nov 2019 06:43:42 +0200

As a child our parents do things we think are just ridiculous. I was quite the inquisitive child. Why is the grass green? Why is the sky blue? Why don’t we have dinosaurs? And on and on.

My mother made sure I got a set of World Book Encyclopedias (exactly like those pictured) and a good Webster’s Dictionary. Then every time I had a question she would say, “Go look it up!” So, I would look it up. I thought she wanted me to look it up because she just didn’t know the answers. That was not the case at all, she wanted me to be able to find information and process it myself. She was right. It gave me an appreciation for learning and reading on my own. I was the nerdy kid who would read encyclopedias for pleasure, but oh how I learned.

Then I reached the age for research papers. Like a true nerd, I loved them. I got to look it up and find good sources to write a good paper. Now I know for most that doesn’t sound like much fun, but there were benefits to it. We didn’t have the internet, but we learned how to search for information from quality sources.

Today with the internet the encyclopedia is at the tip of your fingers. You can look up anything and everything in a moment. You will likely have thousands of hits for your search term. Information is easily accessible. Unfortunately, there is also bad information readily available. You have to be able to determine good sources from bad.

Then bring in social media. Fake news reporting sites make up stories that get shared on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. It is as easy as one click to share what seems to be a shocking story. However, if you took the time to look up the title, many times you would find that the article is simply false. Designed to get clicks, not deliver actual information or news. If you pay attention, you can will see it is the same sites over and over that print articles that are just attention grabbing headlines.

I find it curious that with all this information available at the touch of your fingers people often don’t take the time to look it up. If we believe everything we read, and never look it up to question or confirm its validity we are part of the problem. it is possible that we could be led down dark paths following bad information.

We want our kids to be thinkers and question things around them so that they may grow and learn. It is equally important that we teach them to look up information and process information. We do not want them to blindly follow others based on misinformation. That is how cults and evil societies are formed – followers don’t question the teachings.

I think I raised my kids to look it up. I certainly still say it often enough when talking with them. We have all fallen for a fake story or bad information, but we can get better. We certainly want our kids to be better at looking it up and forming opinions based on facts and credible sources. Our nation and future will be better if we verify the information that is given to us so freely.

So, follow my mother’s advice – LOOK IT UP!

Not Responsible for Accidents! Hmmm….

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 04:55:11 +0200

We have all attended an event, garage sale or auction where there were signs posted that say, “NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ACCIDENTS.” While these signs may prevent someone from suing you for minor accidents, they are not a real protection under the law. The signs are not specific about what risks the person attending may face. The signs might be helpful in a defense, but they certainly will not prevent you from being held liable for a dangerous condition that resulted in injury.

Liability waivers are often required for amusement facilities like trampoline parks, skating rinks, bounce houses, zip lines, bungee jumping, etc. Liability waivers specifically state that you are assuming certain risks with an understanding that the facility or event holder is not responsible for liability. For instance, you know that jumping on a trampoline or bounce house could result in minor injuries – sprained limbs, fractured bones, friction burns, etc. You are aware there is some risk just by acting in an ordinary manner when you jump, skate, zip line, bungee jump, and other activities.

However, a liability waiver does not protect anyone from gross negligence, reckless conduct or intentional acts. For instance, if you are jumping on a trampoline that the owners know is broken and dangerous, that is an example of gross negligence. If an employee were to throw your child down on a trampoline and they were injured that would be an intentional act. These are simply examples, as I hope no one would actually put another person in such a dangerous circumstance.

A common sense approach is always best. If you are being asked to sign a waiver it is an indication that the activity comes with some amount of risk. Seems all the fun things do! We know that accidents happen and there is not always a responsible party. That is why they are called accidents – they aren’t done on purpose. So, when you seek your next adrenaline rush, remember that you are assuming some risk when you sign the waiver – then ENJOY THE RIDE!

Child Custody 21st Century Style!

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 04:29:18 +0200

THEORY OF 21ST CENTURY CUSTODY

Gone are the days where mothers are viewed as the primary care givers. In Missouri, like many other states, the Court cannot consider the gender of the parent in making a custody determination. Each parent is considered of equal importance in the life of a child and each parent should have “continued and meaningful” contact with the child. While each parent’s exact role may differ, their importance in the life of the child does not differ. Children want and deserve meaningful relationships with both parents, so long as that can be safely accomplished.

The change to view parents as equal has led to a shift in the traditional custody plans of every other weekend. In Missouri, and many other jurisdictions, it is believed that joint custody is in a child’s best interest. That allows both parents to share in the health, education and welfare decisions for the child. That means there is a presumption that the parties should be able to share custody of the child and make decisions together for the child’s best interest. To be awarded sole custody in today’s courts is unusual without substantial evidence that joint custody is not in the best interest of the child.

Most recently, Missouri has a House Bill that when (or if) signed into law will make the presumption that the parents can share time with the child equally. The parents will then have to argue to the Court why equal time is not in the best interest of the child. The Court would be required to make specific findings as to why it is not in the best interest of the child to spend equal time with each parent. Courts are already ordering shared parenting more often when the parties live in close proximity and share equally in the responsibility of parenting. I suspect we will only see shared parenting increase in the near future.

The spirit and intention behind the push for joint custody and shared parenting is easy to see. Objectively, we can say that a child wants and deserves to have both parents actively participate in their lives. Assuming there are not true safety concerns. Each parent teaches a child different lessons and provides a different perspective, even when the parents are together in a home with the child. A child of parents who do not reside together should be no less entitled to the value of meaningful relationships with their parents.

VS. REALITY

In order to be effective at joint custody and shared parenting the parents have to be capable of real communication. Open and honest communication to present a united front for their child. They need to be able to share ideas and reach decisions together to benefit the child. However, these are often parties who are recently divorced or have a child in common and were never married. Either way the bitterness and anger are real after a split, and those two particular emotions are not helpful in effective communication. Although, we have all communicated out of bitterness or anger. The results are not favorable.

The opportunities to disagree and fight for what is “right” are plenty. The child wants to play football or take a dance class and that activity is taking place on “my time.” It is also taking place on the other parent’s “time.” The truth is children need activities to learn to be part of a team, to socialize, to find new interests, etc. It is their childhood, and if the parents were together both would be at football or dance. That doesn’t change because the parents aren’t together. This is your CHILD’S TIME. Enjoy it, together. You don’t have to sit together, but you can independently support your child from the same geographic location.

The other parent isn’t spending “quality time” when they have the child. They have to work or are in the shop working on projects. They don’t really spend time with the child. The truth is no one can make every moment they spend with their child “quality time.” We all have responsibilities that we must take care of when we are raising children. Those are learning opportunities. It is during those tasks children learn to do dishes, take out the trash, work on the car, do laundry and become responsible and capable adults. They also provide amazing memories. Some of my favorite memories are of projects I worked on with my parents. I learned skills I still use today. Just because you aren’t playing and going somewhere all the time does not mean time is not “quality.”

People seem to think as long as they are discussing these issues from a keyboard their child is safe from the outcome. However, that is far from true. If you are discussing your child custody case and the other parent on text, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. it is not a secret from your child. First, they learn to read and will read the messages on your phone. Many of them already have social media accounts, but if they don’t their friends’ parents do have accounts and see all your posts. Your “friends” screenshot the posts and share them with the other parent. Then the fight is on, again.

The anger and bitterness parents feel toward one another is visited on the child. They see and hear all that you say about the other parent. A child somehow can’t hear you say, “Clean your room!” from three feet away, but you go to another room on the phone and they have sonar hearing. I promise they hear what you say to others, and more importantly they sense the tension, anger, sadness and turmoil. The two people they love most in the world are constantly angry and upset because they are fighting over me. If it weren’t for me they would not fight, and they would be happy. How sad is that?

Shared parenting can be done very effectively, if you will put aside your differences for the child. It is possible to treat each other with civility and respect. It is possible to have discussions without calling names and bringing up every past slight. It is possible to always consider what is best for the child you share. That child is the best parts of both of you and deserves to feel loved and supported by BOTH OF YOU.

Shared parenting is not necessarily easy, but if done with a spirit of cooperation and maturity the child will benefit. The child will feel free to love both parents and to enjoy and delight in the diversity each parent brings to the child’s life. It is a combination of all of the experiences and lessons in our childhood that determine our future. We all want our child to have the best future possible. Your child deserves a future with many happy memories from both parents!

“That Will Never Happen!” But Then It Does…

Fri, 25 Oct 2019 05:18:22 +0200

We have all made the statement, “That will never happen! (To me, us, you, them, etc.)”. You should never say never. My days are filled with people who thought bad things would never happen, but they do.

“I will never get divorced!” Yet, everyday I meet the people who would “never get divorced.”

“I will never be abused or battered!” Yet, with bruises on their face I meet them.

“I will never be arrested and/or my child will never be arrested!” Yet, again, I meet the “never get arrested” and their parents.

“My child will never get addicted to drugs!” But there are those parents in my office, admitting that their child has an addiction.

Everyone faces adversity at times, and ends up in situations or circumstances they thought were impossible only a short time ago. Good people get divorced. Good people make mistakes and get arrested. Good people get addicted to drugs or alcohol. However, none of these things were part of their original plan in life.

I meet with a lot of children, and not one time have they expressed, “When I grow up I want to be divorced!” or “When I grow up I want to go to jail!” or “When I grow up I want to be a drug or alcohol addict!” If bad things never happened to good people, I wouldn’t have a job. The truth is many bad things happen to good people. Good people make bad choices and decisions. WE ALL DO! So, since everyone makes bad decisions sometimes, does that make us all bad?

I think we can agree not all people are bad. In fact I would say that most people have a lot of good in them. When people are getting divorced, you hear all the bad about the other party. However, if that soon to be ex-spouse had no redeeming qualities, why were you with them? At some point, you saw good in the other person, and at a point in the future you may see the good in them, again. If you have children, you will see those good qualities of each other, and enjoy them, again. Even though you said, “I will never get divorced.” You did.

Even an abuser has redeeming qualities, that is how they suck the victim back in – charm. When used for good, charm is a powerful thing. The abused hold out hope for more of the “good” moments. Rarely do I hear every moment of a marriage or relationship was abusive and dreadful. The moments of “good” can hold you in place, patiently waiting. Your friends and loved ones waiting less patiently for you to “figure it out” and “get out.” Saying all along, “The abuse should never have happened, she/he deserves better!” True, but it did.

Now consider the parents of children facing addiction and/or arrest. You likely know some parents with children who have faced struggles or faced the struggles yourself. When the one struggling is a friend or relative, we make many excuses for their behaviors because we KNOW a good kid or person made a bad decision. You hear, “They had good parents and such a good kid with so much potential, this should not have happened.” But it did.

We will all face situations we never expected ourselves and with those that we love. We will love each other and support each other because we know that each is “good.” Mistakes and bad choices happen, and there are consequences to be faced. We will support those we love through the consequences because we know and believe beneath it all they are good and worthy. This struggle should “never” have happened to our loved one. But it did.

Nearly every person facing the struggle of something that should “never” have happened has friends and families who love them. I have rarely had a client who had no support system at all. Even the ones called “bad” or “evil” or “no good” have people who love them and support them. Those family and friends that have the never fading memories of happier times. People who share memories of the “good.” People who pray that the “good” will return. People who thought the mountain they are facing would “never” happen. But it did.

It is both humbling and inspiring to walk with others through “never” situations. It is in those moments that you see true love, strength and compassion. You see the beauty of love and loyalty. So, maybe our “never” moments are the very moments meant to teach us humility, grace and forgiveness. Maybe they are the moments when we learn to “let go” of something or someone. Maybe they are the moments God gets our attention and straightens our path.

I know for certain that my own “never” moments (and they are numerous!) have been my greatest lessons, even when they have brought my greatest heartaches. Which is probably why this quote by an unknown author is one of my favorites:

EVERY TRUE STRENGTH IS GAINED THROUGH STRUGGLE.

May whatever struggle you face bring you great strength!

Reverence – Where Did it Go?

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 05:00:50 +0200

We had the opportunity to attend a wedding in Indianapolis over the weekend for the son of some close friends. What a wonderful weekend of fun and a reminder of reverence. As I experienced the reverence this weekend, I realized reverence is something I seem to miss often these days. Where did it go?

When I speak of reverence, I mean this definition: honor or respect felt or shown.

Reverence isn’t missing, at least not entirely. I watched a young couple marry in the Catholic Church. The Catholic faith does not appear to have lost reverence in their churches, and it is a beautiful thing to experience. I watched this young couple treat each other and their families and friends with reverence. I watched friends of the couple treat the parents and families with reverence. I watched all of the guests treat this new marriage with reverence. I watched the bride’s father toast our service members, showing great reverence.

In one weekend, I experienced the reverence once experienced daily in many areas of our lives. We used to treat churches with reverence, even if we were only a guest. We used to treat our families with reverence and undying loyalty. We spoke of our military and flag with reverence. We used to treat Courts with reverence, a respect for the system. We used to always wear our “Sunday best” to any of these institutions. Now, experiencing true reverence seems rare.

When you consider that the primary definition of reverence is respect, maybe I find my answer. We are all guilty of failing to show true respect from time to time, and I am no exception. The news and social media are full of examples of disrespect, not to mention schools. We seem to be drowning in disrespect much of the time. However, this weekend served as a stark reminder of a day and time when respect was expected and given.

What I witnessed this weekend was a great deal of respect that was reminiscent of days I was afraid were gone. Many people from many different areas of this country, with widely separated belief systems, came together and respected one another. Everyone enjoyed one another and the common goal of celebrating a new beginning – without thought to race, religion or politics.

This incredibly enjoyable experience really made me stop and do a bit of thinking about reverence and respect. It made me wonder if we all made a true effort to treat one another with true respect would this world look different? Maybe we could disagree without venom. Maybe we could help those who don’t believe the same way we do. Maybe we could be more forgiving and compassionate. Maybe we could do more to just be nice to one another.

I think it is a worthy experiment to try to be more aware of reverence and respect for one another. We won’t be successful on every attempt, but those successful attempts may make a world of difference in the life of another. We may also find new friends and strengthen relationships. We could strengthen our communities and our country. So, even minor success in joining this experiment is worthy. A little more reverence and respect is unlikely to hurt anyone, but continuing to avoid reverence and respect hurts everyone. I promise I will personally make an effort to act with more reverence and respect, and I hope you join me. Maybe each of us making a small difference will have a large impact on our lives and the lives of others.

“Just as white light consists of colored rays, so reverence for life contains all the components of ethics: love, kindliness, sympathy, empathy, peacefulness and power to forgive.” Albert Schweitzer

Don’t Lie to Your Attorney!

Fri, 18 Oct 2019 23:37:57 +0200

This week a dear colleague mentioned that he would be interested in a blog post about the importance of honesty of clients with their attorney. I had to agree it is an important subject. If your attorney doesn’t know the truth, it limits their ability to help you.

I know, I know – insert the jokes about attorneys and honesty in the same sentence.

One wonderful bonus of an attorney is that anything you tell them, they cannot repeat. Therefore, you can spill every dirty secret, and they may never use it against you or tell others. Attorneys are the ultimate secret keepers!

Despite the confidentiality guaranteed to clients, clients are often not honest. Not because they are inherent liars, but because all people like to present themselves in the light most favorable. No one likes to be judged, and it is important that people feel accepted. When you feel like you have a secret that would cause people to lose respect and love for you, it is a hard secret to tell.

If you are in need of an attorney, that usually means a really unfortunate set of circumstances surrounds you. You choose an attorney to help you achieve the best result for your circumstances. The attorney must operate off your version of events, together with some information requested from the other party, and investigation. In the beginning. all we know is what our clients says.

Now suppose that your attorney doesn’t know the “real” story. They are operating blind and preparing for your case without all the facts. That is dangerous ground. An attorney can’t get surprised sitting at trial, as there is no time to prepare to defend the “new” set of facts.

As a student attorney, I interned doing death penalty cases. One of the first things the attorney told me was he always told clients, “You can lie to your wife, your pastor, your friends and children, but don’t ever lie to me. Only I can keep your secrets and prepare for your case. I’m here to help save your life.”

It doesn’t take many courtroom surprises to understand why he always started meetings with clients with that statement. If an attorney knows all the facts, good or bad, they can be prepared to address anything that comes up in trial. They will develop a plan to get around the issues or take the fire out of the not so flattering truths.

A veterinarian friend once told me, “If I had a room full of doctors and lawyers and presented them the same problem, the doctors would group up to solve the problem, and the attorneys would group up to figure out how to get around the problem.” There may be some truth to his statement, but most attorneys will try both. Some problems can’t be solved, but we may find a route around it.

Moral to the Story: Always be honest in reporting facts to your attorney, an outcome based on the truth is generally the best outcome. Let’s handle the ugly early, as Judges seem to take ugly truths better than pretty little lies!!

Saving My Soldier – A Mother’s Fight!

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 04:53:24 +0200

Three years ago I entered the fight of my life. The fight to save my son, my soldier from losing the use of his body or potentially his life. I took on the United States Army. This story is a bit lengthy, but I promise this is the Cliff notes version. I will start at the beginning….

He Dreamed of Being a Soldier

From the age of three, my son spoke of nothing more than being an “Army man.” Boy does that strike fear in the hearts of mothers everywhere. Like many parents, I figured he would outgrow the childhood dream of joining the military. My dad was LRRPS in Vietnam, and I had ZERO desire for my son to follow that path. However, his dream does not mean my dream. I got to follow my dream, so I was supportive of him following his dream. Although, it scared the life out of me!

HE IS A SOLDIER!

In May of 2013, he completed basic training and was truly a Soldier. He was so happy with the start of his lifelong dream, and I was very proud. Still very scared, but proud! They were shipping him to Vilseck, Germany for his first post. Not the news this mother wanted on Mother’s Day, but those were the orders.

It was a long year from when he caught the flight to Germany until I saw him and could hug him again in June of 2014. It seemed that overall his dream was coming to fruition, and he was having amazing adventures living in Germany.

He was homesick occasionally, and we missed him like crazy. He made it home, again, just after Christmas of 2014, and had leave planned for the summer of 2015. We were so excited that we would at least get a visit every six months. Little did we know we were just experiencing the calm before the storm and plans would change – drastically.

Mama Bear Gets Called to Duty

In April, 2015 right around my Soldier’s 21st birthday, he mentioned that his right hand and forearm were going numb. He was having trouble gripping items, including his duty weapon. He thought it was an ulnar nerve problem or carpal tunnel.

Being ever the kind and nurturing mother, I pointed out it was probably from playing too many video games. He just needed to get off the games and use his arm. My usual mantra was “rub some dirt in it, you will be fine!” This time I was completely off base.

We continued to discuss the symptoms, and he reached out to medical. He was scheduled to be home on leave in July. Two days before he was scheduled to fly home, I get the dreaded call. “Mom, I can’t come home. They have put me in the hospital.” WHAT?????

A physician’s assistant, that had been trying to get to the bottom of my son’s illness, decided this appeared to be a serious neurological condition and hospitalized him. There would be no two week leave to come home.

So, mama bear went to Germany. After meetings with neurologists and others, it was decided that my son would be sent to Landstuhl, Germany for diagnosis and treatment. The possibilities did not sound real favorable, but I know our military has outstanding medical care available in Landstuhl.

I came home believing that they would take excellent care of a Soldier. The moment I landed he messaged that they diagnosed him with a serious neurological condition that effects one side or your body. This specific condition is often associated with various vaccinations, of which our military members get many. It was progressive, but there were treatments available to slow the progression. The doctor was outstanding and had a treatment plan set up quickly.

The part I did not understand was that his company command thought the travel requirements for his treatment were too difficult to manage. They bullied and harassed my son, and interfered in his treatment schedule. Soon, the symptoms were in his left hand and forearm, as well. This led to a much worse diagnosis. Chronic inflammatory demyelinating neuropathy (CIDP). This disease can affect the entire body. Not the news we wanted.

Arrangements were made to return him to a Warrior Transition Battalion (WTB) closer to home, so that he could concentrate on health and healing. These battalions are specifically supposed to help sick and injured soldiers who are unable to perform their official duties. He would be close enough to home that we could visit him and participate in his treatment and recovery. FINALLY, we thought we were on the right track to get him well and get him home. Oh how wrong we were.

HE IS REALLY SICK?!?

My soldier arrives in Fort Riley, Kansas in February, 2016, and I am so happy to be able to see him and participate in his treatment. However, he got ZERO treatments until Mother’s Day weekend. He was to have them every three weeks. By the time treatments started, he had lost the feeling in his lower legs and was wheelchair bound. Nothing like a mama bear when the cub is sick. We will suffice it to say some calls were made and doctors dressed down.

Another outstanding Mother’s Day courtesy of the Army. I arrive to pick up my son who is now in a wheelchair. I cannot explain the absolute sick feeling pulling up to my son in a wheelchair waiting for me. However, thanks to the calls he was going to get a treatment each day that weekend. I was going to be there to make sure!

Fast forward to July, and we are again missing treatments. He looks and feels worse every time I see or talk to him. We had to bring his battle buddy to stay with him and provide non-medical assistance. Nothing is happening, and he looks like he just got released from some type of concentration camp.

This is where mama hits her limit!

D.C. HERE WE COME

When it became clear they were not going to adhere to a treatment schedule, order the correct dosages of medicines, deliver the medicines, or make any other efforts to help, I stepped in.

You might have heard of helicopter parenting, but in this instance a friend told me I was “An Apache Gunship.” I am not ashamed. I reached out to contacts, emailed the White House, emailed the Pentagon and made news appearances. I wanted proper healthcare for my son, and they only place the military could give that level of care was Walter Reed. It was much farther from home, but I would rather have him getting healthy than watching him die.

The Pentagon was extremely responsive and gave the go ahead for him to come to Walter Reed the following week. They had him set up with the Director of Neurology, and were ready to help get him healthy. However, the WTB commander was less accommodating. He would only give permission for a short trip for diagnosis. Despite the Army Surgeon General’s office recommending a transfer. We were going, and I would fight the transfer from Walter Reed. Time was of the essence.

When we arrived in D.C., we were met with outstanding care and personnel at Walter Reed. The doctor was confident in the original CIDP diagnosis, and had an aggressive treatment plan to try to get my Soldier back on his feet. It would not be an easy road, but a manageable road at Walter Reed. The base hospital at Fort Riley was not equipped to handle this diagnosis and treatment.

I ended up staying in D.C. for two weeks fighting with a ridiculous commander, with no medical training, running a Warrior Transition Battalion full of sick and injured soldiers. I spent everyday for nearly four weeks on the phone and emailing with the Pentagon, who could not explain how this commander was ignoring the directives of higher ranking officers. The Army Surgeon General even turned him over to J.A.G. for investigation.

I had three Congressional inquiries opened. The commander held a secret meeting where he informed all present that he had been through almost 30 Congressional inquiries and nothing ever happens. Why in the world would one commander have that many inquiries opened? INCOMPETENCE!

At the very time I am fighting to save my son, one of the other soldiers assigned to the same WTB lost his battle. He suffered the same incompetent command who was more concerned with being in charge than providing these Soldiers with proper healthcare. Proper healthcare came too late to change his outcome. I refused to let that happen to my Soldier.

Continued calls with the Pentagon, Senators and many others finally yielded results. My email to the White House got a General involved who finally ordered this incompetent fool to sign the orders transferring my son to Walter Reed for proper medical care and treatment. PRAISE GOD and all the many supporters who prayed for us and covered for me, so that I could fight this battle.

HE IS ON HIS FEET!

After two months of consistent and aggressive treatment, he made it to his feet. He needed a cane, but the wheelchair was GONE! He was making progress, and was getting top notch healthcare. This mama was finally starting to breathe!

It took a full year at Walter Reed to get him back to as normal as it gets with CIDP. He worked hard and the medical professionals worked hard, and the benefits were AMAZING! He got to come home in August of 2017 medically retired from the U.S. Army. Walking without a cane! He will always need treatments to stall the progression, but WOW what a difference!

FAST FORWARD TWO YEARS

He still receives treatments every few weeks, and there are good and bad days. However, he has persevered and overcome more than the doctor thought possible three years ago. He was able to wade in the Kenai River in Alaska this summer and fish for salmon. His battles with CIDP are not over, but in the fight of our lives – WE PREVAILED!

I have always had the utmost respect and pride for Service Members. That only grew through the fight. I realized that we have no idea the battles faced by these men and women who CHOOSE to protect the rest of this nation. It is little wonder that disabled veterans suffer so greatly. They face battles we can’t see, and that often are ridiculed by the very people they protect.

The next time you see a current or former service member, thank them for their service. They deserve all of the respect and accolades possible for their very real sacrifices on behalf of all Americans. Be an advocate for your service members any chance you get. If I had not been willing to advocate for my son, I likely would not still have him. Every Service Member is worth the fight!!!

Holidays COMING! Kids NEED Wonderful Memories!

Sat, 12 Oct 2019 21:57:34 +0200

FAMILY LAW REMINDER: As the holidays approach, family law attorneys receive more and more calls from parents with custody disputes. Most calls are about whose “time” it is – please remember that it is not “your time” or “their time.” It is your child’s time – they get one childhood. There are no do overs.

When parents are constantly fighting about time and other issues, they are creating childhood “memories” for their children. These children learn that their parents are always angry at each other because of “custody.” Children then believe that “if it weren’t for me (or us) my parents would be happy. They always fight and get angry about me.” These are not the holiday memories we want children to take into adulthood.

Except when there are REAL safety concerns, the Court expects you to let your children participate in BOTH families. This may not always be convenient, or your desire, but your children want to love both their parents without feeling guilty or being forced to choose a side.

It took two people to make the child, and that child wouldn’t exist without both parents. When you are spewing anger and hatred about each other you are telling your child half of them is BAD. That is not fair to a child. Keep your opinions to yourself, and let your children enjoy being children.

If you are asked to rearrange parenting time, please ask yourself if you are refusing the request because IT IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. If you are refusing because it is unfair to you – reconsider. The court is only interested in what is in the “best interest of the child.” They are not looking for what is fair to parents.

Please keep this in mind over the holidays, as there aren’t many children who do not want to be included in the fun and festivities of their families. Let them be loved and enjoy their holidays with BOTH parents when possible. You will never have too many people love a child! Your children will thank you!

Tell Me What You Want!

Sat, 12 Oct 2019 01:07:22 +0200

In beginning this blog, I want to be sure I address issues that my followers are interested in learning more about through the blog. I cannot offer specific legal advice to your specific legal matter, that is for the attorney specific to your matter. However I want to offer general information that will be beneficial to my followers.

I am asking followers to comment with subjects or issues that they would like me to blog about in the future. I can’t promise I will cover them all, but I will do my best to address things that interest you, and that I feel confident about offering my perspective.

I have a list of subjects that I intend to blog about soon, but they are general ideas. Your input is of value in making certain that the subjects and issues I cover are what you really, really want to hear about I’m sure I will have some blogs with interesting information that you didn’t even know you were interested in before.

I look forward to hearing from you, and addressing your interests. This blog is for YOU!

You Can’t Make it Up!

Fri, 11 Oct 2019 01:42:51 +0200

A few legal DON’TS….you may think no one needs these, somewhat comical, reminders. However, all true stories – and most have happened more than once. They don’t make my list until we hit at least three instances!

Family Law Don’ts

DON’T set your ex’s clothing and personal effects on fire.
DON’T slash all your ex’s clothing and personal effects.
DON’T set your ex’s home on fire or attempt to blow it up.
DON’T use your ex’s clothing for a new litter box before you pack and deliver it.
DON’T cash your retirement account and spend it during your divorce.
DON’T introduce your fiancée on Facebook while your divorce is pending.
DON’T discuss your case and child custody matters on Facebook for all your “friends” to view, screenshot and pass around. The attorney gets them all!

Criminal Law Don’ts

DON’T let other people borrow your pants and leave drugs in them.
DON’T buy purses at thrift stores if they really contain drugs.
DON’T cuss out the officer who pulled you over.
DON’T talk to police about a charge because “innocent people don’t need attorneys.”
DON’T post videos of your crime to social media.
DON’T post pictures of the drugs you want to sell.
DON’T call from the jail and discuss your case. That sign really means all calls are recorded.

One reason I love this job is meeting new people and hearing stories that I could not make up in my wildest imagination. I never get bored and have entertainment for days. No need to watch soap operas

All aboard DRAMA EXPRESS!

I Don’t Apologize for Doing My Job

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 03:34:47 +0200

A female defense attorney named Sarah Swain made a profound statement, that I agree with in every word and sentiment. “I believe that I am no better than my clients. We have all made mistakes in our lives. And in that moment of need, I pick up my sword and go to battle to save my client’s life (Or job? Or Family? Or entire future).

And no, I don’t feel bad about it; I’m not embarrassed; I’m not ashamed. In fact, I do my job with great pride. I proudly represent my clients because, in the end, we are all better than the worst decision we’ve ever made.”

We have all made some bad decisions, and all of those decisions came with consequences. As an attorney practicing family and criminal law, I am in a unique position to hear the stories that lead people to bad decisions. Those stories offer me their perspective, and I am charged with holding those secrets, as if they are my own. What I can tell you is that most of my clients look and sound like all of us.

Rarely is a client “all bad.” I meet clients and walk with them through the worst seasons of their life. Many have made bad choices, but some are suffering because of bad choices by another. Each client has their own story, many are stories of abuse, betrayal, drug or alcohol addiction, lack of parental direction, lack of basic necessities, mental illness, and so much more. These stories come from your family, friends, church members, etc.

In most cases, there is a support network for my client. Family, friends and neighbors that report to me what a wonderful person my client is outside of this one mistake or tragedy that led them to me. When my client is your friend or family you expect me to treat them as innocent until proven guilty. I do my very best treat my clients with respect, even though our conversations are often peppered with some hard truths.

I also believe that even the worst of criminal clients are entitled to respect and due process under the law. If they are never shown respect, empathy or compassion how do we truly help them make a change? I believe each of them should be treated with honesty and integrity. I am the one in their corner and holding their hand when they receive a judgment or consequences. I take that responsibility seriously, as it may be the first time that client has felt heard and supported. A sad truth that repeats frequently.

I am asked often, “How can you represent those people?” Well, I took an oath “(t)hat I will practice law to the best of my knowledge and ability and with consideration for the defenseless and oppressed.” The oath does not say take only clients you think are “innocent” or “worth it.” Plus, my Christian belief is that judgment is not my job. My job is to walk with the broken and their families through terrible and trying times.

I will never apologize for doing my job. It is not always easy or popular. Integrity says I should do what is right regardless of what people see, hear or understand. Standing with the broken is right for me, and maybe, just maybe I teach or reach someone, and it changes their circumstances for the better.