theonion

NEW YORK—In an effort to focus on the incredible array of bathing suits featured in its pages, Sports Illustrated announced Wednesday that it would be removing all the distracting models from the magazine’s swimsuit edition. “It has come to our attention that the buxom women we usually feature in our swimsuit issues have been inadvertently drawing attention away from...

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The State Department has begun revoking passports of parents who owe a significant amount in unpaid child support, beginning with those owing $100,000 or more. What do you think?

“So there’s a chance Dad’s still in the country?”

Passengers aboard the cruise ship at the epicenter of a deadly hantavirus outbreak have returned to their home countries, where they will be quarantined and monitored. What do you think?

“I’ve never understood the appeal of going on a cruise and getting hantavirus.”

Susan Westbrook, 54, passed away Sunday after not shaking well something she was supposed to shake well.

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