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With the tech industry forcing itself down our throats and finding new ways to disrupt our lives daily, it’s nice to remember that science can actually be used for good.
There’s nothing more heartbreaking than a malnourished k9. Given that we can’t even take care of our homeless human population in this country, you can imagine how strained animal shelters are when...
FENTON, Mo. — Local man Jason Miller is struggling to take the ghost haunting his home seriously after discovering the apparition wears an enormous pair of JNCO jeans and mostly wants to know what he missed in the fifth season of “The X-Files,” sources confirmed.
“He came through my wall at like 2:30 in the morning while thrashing his head around to ‘Twist’ by Korn,...
Even if you’re only tangentially aware of death metal, you’ve heard of Cannibal Corpse. These infamous sickos emerged in the early nineties with pummeling tracks covering such gruesome subject matter as torture and necrophilia. With song titles like “Covered With Sores” and “Addicted to Vaginal Skin”, they cemented their notoriety in the genre and ensured that they took their...
HELL — The Antichrist issued a sweeping denial of any relationship with Peter Thiel this Wednesday following numerous remarks made by the Silicon Valley billionaire that thrust the false prophet into the spotlight, fueling speculation that the two may have deep personal ties, confirmed sources.
“It is deeply frustrating to have your name dragged into something as h...
Though my rent is so high that I can’t afford toothpaste, I recently hired the little old lady from “Poltergeist” to clean once a week. I’ve never seen the movie (I know, I know; it’s on my list!), but I had high expectations of Tangina based on the fact that she worked with Steven Spielberg. Alas, she’s got to be the worst housecleaner ever. She half-asses every chore.
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