The Hard Times

The bass guitar can be astonishingly difficult and rewarding if you want to learn how to play it correctly, but why would you want to do that? Sure, you can take the time to develop an actual skill with the instrument after years of lessons from an accomplished instructor, but to what end? Seriously, just pick it up, join a band, and play anything. We guarantee you’ll get awa...

BOSTON — Undergraduate film student and frequent Letterboxd user Barry Cospin had his afternoon ruined after noticing a slew of continuity errors in an otherwise perfectly good porn film he was watching, confirmed sources.

“It’s just amateurish,” said Cospin while giving a handful of two-star reviews on Letterboxd. “You of course allow for some suspension of disbeli...

Alright, my panicked pals, LOCK IN because it’s time to learn a panic attack hack that your therapist and psychiatrist don’t want you to know. Do they have valid reasons because it’s probably bad for your mental health in the long run and also medically inadvisable? Sure, but we’re not living in some utopia where we can actually get our prescriptions filled in a timely manner...

LOS ANGELES — Heavy metal band Metallica proudly announced that they have finally tracked down and sued the bootlegger who sold Beavis from “Beavis and Butt-Head” his signature blue shirt, disgusted sources report.

“It took over three decades, but we finally found the bastard,” said drummer Lars Ulrich. “I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was for me after all ...

Alright, I hope you’re hungry, because I went out hunting yesterday and put a Federal Premium 12-gauge 2 ¾ inch Magnum 00 Buck right between the eyes of this curious-looking fucker with big antlers. Caught a lot of shit from this girl near him, too. She was kneeling down near him and wailing about how I’m a “total monster” who “murdered her boyfriend” or something. Really put...