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CHICAGO — The merch booth for Iggy Pop reportedly doesn’t sell t-shirts of the iconic musician, confirmed sources who were looking for a size medium, if possible.
“We adhere to a strict ‘no shirts’ rule here, just like Iggy would’ve wanted,” said merch guy Brent Macguire while folding boxer briefs with Pop’s likeness on the crotch. “Every band sells t-shirts at thei...
Looking for a talented, experienced graphic designer to fix our AI-generated show flyers immediately. We discovered after getting 2,000 flyers back from the printer that it’s an abomination, despite our manager claiming the prompts he put into Chat GPT were “airtight” and specifically asked it not to include our home addresses and social security numbers. We’re getting dragge...
WASHINGTON — Rob Schneider, once the famed pariah of SNL and star of such classic films as ‘Deuce Bigalow’ and ‘The Hot Chick,’ filed for relevancy after 25 years of blissful invisibility from our collective awareness, sources close to the insufferable right-wing comic confirm.
According to the relevancy filing, obtained by Breitbart News, Schneider, now in his 6...
NEW YORK — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced that he is pledging additional funding to the city’s Ghostbusters, confirmed sources.
“New York City ain’t afraid of no ghosts,” said Mamdani outside of the converted firehouse that acts as the Ghostbusters’ headquarters. “For too long, our valiant Ghostbusters have had to operate at a fraction of the budget of this city’s p...
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man Albert Olmsted passed away at the age of 27 despite not even being remotely cool, familiar sources confirmed.
“Let’s face it, 27 is such an iconic age to die at, but to be honest, Albert was not iconic at all,” said Olmsted’s Walmart coworker Janelle Lewiston, who expressed her condolences but refused to sugarcoat her memories. “He didn’...