The Daily Mash

8AM: Start the day with a photo of a 70-year-old man's penis. It has been taken in dim lighting, though not dim enough.

A SECOND celebrity has an injunction stopping any reporting of his terrible actions, but who is he? We offer these spurious clues.

FILMS that go on for longer than an hour and 40 minutes had better be able to justify their excessive runtime, viewers have agreed.

ARE you a male British entertainer? Maybe it’s time to think outside the box and date a woman you can legally have sex with - perhaps even one close to your own age? Here’s why.