UNQUALIFIED FBI head Kash Patel is facing allegations of alcoholism and incompetence caused by his girlfriend being objectively more attractive than he is. Here’s how he clings on: 

Try not to be constantly amazed by your good fortune

Tough for me, as I resemble a surprised Fraggle, but lessen the power imbalance in your re...

By Joanna Kramer, online warrior for the very soul of Bargain Hunt

OUTSIDERS could never understand how it feels to be in the warm embrace of a thoroughly toxic fandom. For example, myself and the Bargain Hunters. 

It’s hard to remember who I was before I became one of them. How I passed evenings when I wasn’t locked in furious arg...

SHE liked diamonds and Picasso paintings. He slept under bridges and sketched caricatures for cash. It was a holiday romance with an unfortunate iceberg, and these wouldn’t last either: 

Rose and Jack, Titanic (1997)

Rose would’ve banged anyone on that boat. But if she hadn’t hogged the door, New York would have been a rude...

THE government wants the whole of Britain to enjoy a summer of sex because an MP is bringing dildos to Parliament. They will under-deliver on this erotic promise: 

Porn will remain inaccessible

Age verification means anyone unwilling to hand photos of their horny faces over to shady bastards can no longer see the hard stuff...