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OTTAWA — After multiple labour sources warned that the Federal government would likely be issuing binding mediation legislation as early as next week, Mark Carney personally assured Canadians that even though the legislation was named “Operation Strike Destroyer,” that didn’t mean that it would pose a threat to future strikes. “My fellow Canadians,” Carney stated […]

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump has blasted Canada’s recent proposed alliance up to the European Union, insisting the new partnership is tantamount to picking on him personally. “It’s really not cool for Canada to go around bragging about how many friends they have. Very mean thing to do,” Trump posted on his […]

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LONDON — At a press conference today, singer Ed Sheeran announced that, despite all of his previously scheduled opening acts quitting over his firing Macklemore, his tour will continue as scheduled, with Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu doing a beatboxing set. “I’m appalled by the conflict between Israel and Palestine,” Sheeran said as Netanyahu did […]

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BRUSSELS – A recent statement by the European Union has clarified that the bloc’s main interest in Canada becoming an Associate Member is to get them to take away some of the junk the United Kingdom forgot at their headquarters. “Canads is a growing nation with much to offer Europe. Like storage space and junk […]

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Montreal, QC – In a surprising show of good faith, Montreal Canadiens fans removed their long-standing burning effigy of NHL forward Chris Kreider after it was announced that he would be joining the team on a one-year contract.  Kreider, 35, has been persona non grata in the province since 2014, when then-New York Ranger Kreider […]

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