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Title of The Unger Review: "The Unger Review | Satire By Andrew Unger"
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CHICAGO, IL
After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores across the continent.
“I grew up with these things,” said Kempczinki. “Sure, I didn’t eat them with cottage cheese and schmaunt fat, but it’s close enough...
OTTAWA, ON
After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney.
“He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the Islamic regime of Iran. What more could you want in a Conservative leader?” said party member Dave Siemens. “This is a m...
WINNIPEG, MB
La Crete, Alberta’s country superstars High Valley are currently travelling across Canada performing exclusively for various Rempels.
“Every time I walk out onto the stage and look out into audience, all I see are frintschoft,” said lead singer Brad Rempel. “It’s just Rempels as far as the eye can see.”
The first three rows at High V...
RIDING MOUNTAIN, MB
More than two thousand young Mennonite men showed up at Riding Mountain National Park this week ready to join the World War III Conscientious Objector camp.
“We haven’t had the chance to do alternative service here in Canada since the 1940s,” said World War III CO David Wiens. “I never thought it would happen, but here we go again.”
YARROW, BC
There was a buzz in the church lobby at South Yarrow MB this week after the province announced there would be permanent daylight savings.
“Oba, I expect savings during at an MCC bag sale now and then,” said Mrs. Anne Driedger, “but savings anytime there’s daylight yet? Will wonders never cease.”
The announcement was met with much rejoicing thro...