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Title of The Unger Review: "The Unger Review | Satire By Andrew Unger"
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STEINBACH, MB
The long wait is over as the City of Steinbach has finally unveiled a new ten year plan to improve the growing community’s public transportation infrastructure. The plan includes the licensing of guys with pickup trucks to drive passengers in the back, “so long as they stick to gravel roads and wash the cow shit out once a week.”
“We’ve had great e...
MITCHELL, MB
Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes.
“I don’t like to be so harsh on them,” said Mrs. Wiebe, “but after three stern warnings they still hadn’t cleaned up the toys and enough is enou...
KLEEFELD, MB
Mrs. Koop of Kleefeld had to be rushed to the hospital this week after she over-exerted herself trying to get more rhubarb on her vereniki.
“I’m doing okay now, but it was the first time encountering such deliciousness,” said Koop, “so naturally, I was a little out of control.”
The incident occurred after Koop had friends visiting from Jantsi...
NEWTON, KS
There was mass confusion and chaos in Newton, Kansas this afternoon after the name Mary Unrau was called for the raffle draw.
“I’m Mary Unrau,” said one woman. “No, I’m Mary Unrau,” said another.
It was a Spartacus-like experience, with Mary Unraus rising in their seats one after the other to claim the prize.
“Well, I guess we don’t real...
HOLLYWOOD, CA
The Coen Brothers have just wrapped up filming the sequel to their 1998 cult hit The Big Lebowski. The new film, entitled The Big Sawatzky, which reunites Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Steve Buscemi and Julianne Moore, tells the tale of a group of lazy yerba-drinking Mennonites who spend all their time at the 5-pin bowling alley in Win...