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BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Expressing regret over her decision to star in and produce the film Practical Magic 2, co-lead Sandra Bullock told reporters Friday that she should have just had dinner with Nicole Kidman. “Honestly, when the studio came to me and asked if I wanted to do a legacy sequel, I was so excited about the idea of catching up with Nicole, I signed the contra...


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Wired For Performance: The Cutting-Edge Tech Of NFL Uniforms

Onion Sports examines the incredible engineering in today’s NFL gear.

Explore the uniform in detail

Musk Compound Map

BUILT-IN RADIO: LETS COACHES FEED PLAYERS CORRECT RESPONSES TO CONCUSSION QUESTI...


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Australia’s record industry banned music made entirely using AI from officially charting, responding to a version of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” produced using AI-generated vocals and drums which charted for 16 weeks. What do you think?

“Real AI music fans don’t care about the charts...


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