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The Marriage Counseling Blog | Heartfelt Counseling | Edina, MN: Marriage Counseling: Heal Your Relationship
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There's a conversation that happens in my office so often I could set my watch by it.
One partner says, "We never have sex anymore." The other says, "We never talk anymore." And then they both look at me like they've just described two different problems.
They haven't. They've described one problem from two ends.
I want to spend this post on somethi...
I want to start with a question I ask couples in my office, and I want you to notice your own answer.
When you hear the phrase "we had sex," what exactly do you picture?
For most people, the answer is remarkably specific. One act. A particular sequence, even — a script that starts one way, builds a certain way, and ends when one particular thing happens. We rarely...
There's a moment I hear about all the time in my office. It's the end of the day. The dishes are done, or mostly done. The kids are finally asleep, or at least in their rooms. You sit down on the couch for the first time since 6 a.m., and your partner gives you the look. The hand on the leg. The hopeful raise of the eyebrows.
And something in you deflates.
It's ...
It sounds completely backwards. If a couple is struggling with their sex life, the last thing you'd think to suggest is have less sex. On purpose. Together.
But sometimes that's exactly what helps.
If sex has become a source of tension—if one of you feels constant pressure and the other feels constant rejection, if every approach is loaded and every "no...