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You don’t fuck around at The French Laundry, especially if you worked there in the early 2000s when restaurant culture was different.

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Never trust a chef when it comes to recommending a spot for the average diner.

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Editors Note: I’ve conducted hundreds of chef and restaurant-related interviews over the years, but I can only recall a few quotes from any of those sessions. Remarkably the most vivid phrase was uttered over 20 years ago by a hot Chicago chef named Jason Paskewitz coming off a sandwich battle on Food Network. Paskewitz’s rival on that show was Ben Ford (Ford’s Filling St...


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I have long been fascinated by the idea that the French serve orange juice at the end of a party as a means of telling their guests, “I need to smoke some Gauloises and watch some Godard on Netflix, so GTFO.”

Maybe this is lore. I don’t know. I’ve never been cool enough to revel in the home of a Parisian.


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Almost exactly twenty years ago this week I rose up from the primordial ooze and renounced a life of mouth-breathing in my parents’ basement.

Technically that’s a lie. My parents have lived in three houses, and only the first one had a subterranean lair. I was still a toddler when they moved so I don’t remember it. But though today I am the age where one eats lots of sa...


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