The Borowitz Report

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Last week, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth made headlines by offering this vision of the military: “No fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals.” Inspired by this wisdom, we’ve complied our own list of people who should be banned from the US government:

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Are Republicans headed for a November Armageddon? You won’t want to miss these predictions from Ben Wikler, the man who helped kick Elon Musk’s ass when the Cyberschmuck tried to buy Wisconsin’s democracy. Ben, who was the state’s Democratic Party chair at the time, joins me to discuss the midterms and his massive new bestseller,