U.S. — According to advertising experts, the reason television commercials no longer depict medicine as tiny little warriors murdering tiny little germs is because of "wokeness."

TULSA, OK — The security line ground to a halt this morning at the Tulsa International Airport as it took 42 minutes for a local dad to empty his cargo pants.

As you've probably heard, there is a chimpanzee civil war in Uganda.

NAVASOTA, TX — Local grandma Susan Fields announced to her family that she had finally gotten with the times and made a profile on "that MyFace thing."

VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.