The Babylon Bee

NEW YORK CITY — Concerns over Mayor Zohran Mamdani's "Immigrant Enclave Map" have grown after it was noted that the Mayor had added a "Little Auschwitz" in the middle of Brooklyn.

AUGUSTA, ME — With their ballots now chucked in the garbage, Democratic voters are once again excitedly waiting to see who the Party leaders will choose to be their nominee.

SACRAMENTO, CA — Following reports that activists were pushing the introduction of Black English in California preschools, Governor Gavin Newsom proudly proclaimed: "We finna teach da' homies Black English, yo!"

ABILENE, KS — Romance was in the air at the Farris household as wife Allison was seen getting ready for bed without her mouthguard in place.

SACRAMENTO, CA — Californians struggling to afford the cost of living in the state were hit hard once again, as it was revealed that the average price of a new home in California had now hit $1 quadrillion.