Ted Lasso. I love that show. I enjoy the sweetness of it…the truth it shares about the power of being vulnerable and kind. Without sharing specifics so as to avoid possibly spoiling an unseen episode for you, I just want to quote one of the characters. In response to something Ted is going through, Leslie Higgins suggests, “If anything, you should find out before you flip out.” Find out before you flip out! Such simple and good advice. And so difficult to do, right?

You likely know the experience. You get a text or an email or voicemail with just a bit of information about a situation and your mind takes you to the worst possible conclusions. It’s an experience I know well. Usually there are two things happening almost simultaneously. There’s this physiological response that happens almost instantaneously. It’s as if the fear shoots through my whole body. Then my mind kicks into high gear and starts filling in the information gaps with all kinds of stories about what has happened. For me, it usually involves me thinking I’ve done something or not done something and that someone is upset with me about it.

So “find out before you flip out” is about interrupting this wild ride of emotions. Here’s a little wonder though. That initial rush of energy that feels like electricity coursing through my body…hat little bit of flipping out that first happen…That seems to be a sort of reflexive. I’m not sure the cure for that is finding out.… Read the full post “Find Out Before You Flip Out”

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She carried a flashlight to make the ground brighter.
And there she spotted us, around and beside her.
Some of us glowed emerald and some a bit lighter.
What are we?

When I go outside at night, I often wear headlamp to keep an eye out for snakes. Recently while out in the yard, I got a real treat. All across the yard were green sparkles. These tiny sparkles were the shining eyes of wolf spiders. Wolf spiders have a structure called a tapetum which reflects light onto their retina, allowing them to see better at night. Try it yourself. Go out with a flashlight and shine it on the ground. When you see a greenish sparkle, follow it and it will lead you to a spider. Sometimes the beauty around us reveals itself in subtle but spectacular ways.

To the dull mind nature is leaden. To the illumined mind the whole world burns and sparkles with light.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

… Read the full post “Emerald Eyes”

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Recently I talking with a friend and she shared some regrets she had as a young mother. Her reaction revealed that she was still pretty hard on herself for some of the decisions she had made. Her regrets were for things that most people would think were fairly benign in the grand scheme of parenting mistakes. But I appreciated the depth of her emotions. It revealed her sensitivity to the affect this might have had on her daughter. It showed a real understanding of the difference between intent and impact.

Her tearful reaction to talking about these memories struck me deeply and has remained with me.

There are a lot of ways we typically respond when people share regrets. We say they should let it go. We tell them it wasn’t that bad. We say they shouldn’t feel bad about things. But as well-intended as those responses are, I’m not sure they honor the depth at which such feelings run within us. Some experiences just live inside us so deeply they cannot simply be extracted. And maybe they shouldn’t be.

Maybe such regrets live inside us as teachers in a way. Perhaps they are one of the sources of our wisdom and compassion.

I realized that it is these two things that staying with regrets offers: It can become the seed of compassion and empathy so that you can stand in the shoes of other people because you’re feeling exactly what they feel. And it spurs you on to help people in the future rather than hurt them.

… Read the full post “Our Regrets”

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Each spring I look forward to the splash of purplish-pink that the eastern redbuds bring. From a distance, it is as if the colorful petals emerge directly from the gray bark. they come on quickly and with an intensity and contrast that is striking against the green, gray and brown background of the trees that surround them. These trees herald spring for me. I am always a bit sad when the purple flowers give way to the green leaves. I recognize though that in any season there are always a thousand other wonders that will arise if I remain aware and maintain a posture of discovery. I simply have to notice.

Spring is a perfect time to begin to be intentional about noticing the tangible wonders that add joy and intrigue to our lives.

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. there is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.  ~Albert Schweitzer

… Read the full post “On Noticing”

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Each spring I look forward to the splash of purplish-pink that the eastern redbuds bring. From a distance, it is as if the colorful petals emerge directly from the gray bark. they come on quickly and with an intensity and contrast that is striking against the green, gray and brown background of the trees that surround them. These trees herald spring for me. I am always a bit sad when the purple flowers give way to the green leaves. I recognize though that in any season there are always a thousand other wonders that will arise if I remain aware and maintain a posture of discovery. I simply have to notice.

Spring is a perfect time to begin to be intentional about noticing the tangible wonders that add joy and intrigue to our lives.

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. there is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.  ~Albert Schweitzer

… Read the full post “On Noticing”

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In my first post, Walk 20 Blocks and Call Me in the Morning!, I talked about the role that walking played in my healing journey. Initially, I walked in my mom’s neighborhood, and then my friend’s neighborhood. And, once I moved to an apartment, through the apartment complex parking lot. A friend of mine asked if I had visited a nearby park—Lake Willastein. At her recommendation, I started walking there. It was summer, so I got up early in order to avoid the heat. My early start offered me the chance to experience many a gorgeous sunrise on the lake.

Soon I realized that the benefits of walking seemed to be even greater as I walked among the trees in the park, enjoyed the water fowl at the lake, and witnessed the purple, orange and yellow colors of the sky reflecting on the lake. Soon after starting this morning practice, I picked up The Nature Fix by Florence Williams. In it, she cites a study by Yoshifumi Miyazaki in which he discovered that: “leisurely forest walks, compared to urban walks, deliver a 12 percent decrease in cortisol levels.” His research team also “recorded a 7 percent decrease in sympathetic nerve activity, a 1.4 percent decrease in blood pressure, and a 6 percent decrease in heart rate.”

That resonated with me. The change from walking in the neighborhoods to walking around the lake felt like doubling the dose of medication I had been taking to heal from past traumas.… Read the full post “A Change of Venue”

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This morning after my walk at the park, I was beginning to pull out of the parking area when I saw a little bird fall over. It then began flopping around. I was so sad. I thought to myself, “What can I do to help it? Should I take it to have it put to sleep? I could at least move it to a grassy area where it would be more comfortable.” I stopped the car and started to get out. Then I realized that the little bird was actually a leaf.

I felt mostly relieved…and also a bit silly.

I started thinking about how often I do this in life. I have an experience and without having all of the facts, I build a whole storyline about what is happening. I may make assumptions about someone else’s intentions. I react to what I’m assuming is happening. I may even have strong feelings about the situation, even though I don’t really know the truth about it.

Mindfulness has helped me with this. It has helped me slow down and allow myself to experience the feelings without acting on them. It has helped recognize that when my emotions are running high, I may not see things as they truly are. It has helped me to recognize that in the absence of information, I may fill in the gaps based on my own experiences.

Of course, I still have work to do. I always will. Sometimes I’ll see a dying bird, when it’s really a leaf.… Read the full post “Seeing Things as They Are”

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The lens of my camera moved from branch to branch, following a black-capped chickadee that was desperate to avoid having its photo taken.

“What you got there?”

I looked over my shoulder to see a man and woman approaching me.

“A couple of black-capped chickadees,” I said as I turned back to the tree and pointed.

We all peered at the tree together.

The woman broke the silence. “I was just thinking that I hadn’t seen any birds yet.”

I thought about the tufted titmice I had seen earlier—the sound of their song as they took turns calling out to each other. Two turkey vultures were circling above the nearby lake just minutes ago. A pileated woodpecker cackled in the distance.

I started to tell her about them but stopped myself. “I bet you’ll see more in this area of the gardens.” We were in a wooded area of the gardens at this point.

It’s actually not surprising that she hadn’t noticed the birds. She was there to see the tulips. We all were. The striking colors and magnitude of the 150,000 tulips was breathtaking. And it was novel.

The Power of Novelty

I had been reading about the power of novelty in The Nature Fix (See the Resources Page). Novelty is good for our brains. Research shows that novel experiences result in the release of dopamine. Novelty also has the affect of holding our attention.… Read the full post “Novelty and the Brain”

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Our brains are wired to protect us from danger. When something traumatic happens, our brains use all the senses to gather data around us during that event. We may not be able to voluntarily remember all of those details, but our brains store them.

This is why our reactions to anniversaries of an event can catch us off guard. Even when we are not consciously thinking about an upcoming anniversary of a traumatic event or loss, there are many things that remind our brains that it is coming and then our brains kick into gear to warn us that danger may be around the corner. It might be the smells of certain flowers that bloom that time of year or the decorations for a holiday that was near that anniversary.

Many people refer to these cues in our environment as “triggers”. I prefer to use the word “stimulus” or “stimuli.” (The topic of a future blog entry.)

Sometimes we don’t recognize that our reactions are connected to a past event. We may feel anxious or irritable for no apparent reason. We may have a sense of dread but not know why.

I’ve been around many people who have very strong anniversary reactions to past trauma and loss. I’ve never had as predictable a pattern as that. So as I approach the first year anniversary of my separation from my partner, I’ve been a bit caught off guard by my strong emotions. I’m not sure if it is due to stimuli in the environment or all my own processing, but my emotions this week have been big.… Read the full post “Our Brains on Anniversaries”

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As I discussed in my last post, Being Okay, we live in a society that has rules for how and who to love that discriminate against members of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve come to expect the attitudes and language that reflect those heteronormative beliefs. I’m a bit surprised, though, at some of the attitudes and beliefs I run into within the LGBTQ+ community.

Being a single lesbian comes with challenges. I ran into some interesting views years ago that I knew I would encounter once I was single again. One experience I had in my thirties was when a lesbian friend who was in a relationship came to visit me from out of town. At the time, I was also in a relationship, but was living alone. She informed me that was not “allowed” to stay in my house and had to make other arrangements. I felt hurt because I thought she and her partner did not trust me.

I also experienced people saying that they could not do things with a single lesbian unless their partner was also there. They were basically saying that they would not engage with the person individually, only as a couple. Clearly, their intention is to protect their relationship, but at what cost? If you do the math, only form close friendships with other single lesbians. Sure, you can form close friendships with a couple, but face it, we don’t always like or connect with both members of a couple.

These attitudes and behaviors make single lesbians second class lesbians.… Read the full post “Love Rules”

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Phrases like “Love is love” and “Love is never wrong” are deeply significant to us as members of the LGBTQ+ community. These phrases push back at the messages we received growing up. I grew up hearing all sorts of denigrating messages. As a Lesbian, I’ve heard my brand of love and attraction described as: disgusting, sick, sinful, perverted, abnormal, and deviant. Many of these descriptions came from people I knew and loved. No matter how clear I am that these messages are wrong, they have still left a mark. In fact, research is revealing that continuous experiences of discrimination and microagressions* have an impact on the brain that is similar to that of other types of trauma.

As a young person, I rarely heard positive messages to counter these hurtful words. On an emotional level, I translated these messages into negative beliefs such as “I am not okay,” “I’m a bad person,” and “I am unloveable.” Sure, these beliefs are untrue, but they have operated on a subconscious level. These negative beliefs have had a huge impact on me throughout my life. I’ve placed other people’s happiness and importance above my own. I have held back. I’ve lived a smaller life than I might have otherwise. And I’m certainly not unique in this regard. In fact, many of my friends have experienced much more intense levels of rejection and hurt.

The Power of EMDR

As I mentioned in my previous post, Old Wounds Heal, Pal, I’m working with a therapist who is skilled in EMDR.… Read the full post “Being Okay”

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I’ve lived my life with a certain level of anxiety present on and off. Not an overwhelming amount. In fact, I didn’t really label it or recognize it as anxiety until a few years ago.

With the onset of the pandemic, I began to experience a more intense level of anxiety. I had an undercurrent of anxiety with me most of the time, but occasionally it would spike to a level that was just shy of a panic attack. I felt pressure in my chest and nauseous. Then there were the burning and tingling sensations in my hands, arms, shoulders, legs, feet, and even my tongue. When it was at its worst, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. I wanted to push it away. I resisted it and feared it, which just made it worse.

In the preceding years, I had spent a lot of time listening to talks by Pema Chödrön. She gives a lot of talks on fear and how meditation can help us in working with anxiety and other strong emotions. One of the techniques she teaches is described by the acronym R.A.I.N. The steps are as follows:

• R = Recognize what is happening.
• A = Allow the experience to be there as it is. Instead of trying to push it away, just know that the anxiety is here again. “There you are again” might be the attitude.
• I = Investigate what is happening in your body. Get curious about where it is in the body and what it feels like.

… Read the full post “Working with Anxiety”

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I’ve been enjoying taking photos lately. And enjoying sharing them with others. It inspired me to add a Photo Gallery to this site. I’ve also been thinking about the difference between seeing a photo and experiencing a place.

Even the most striking photo cannot contain what our eyes and hearts can capture. The two-dimensional-ness of it cannot hold the full joy of the experience. It can’t capture the gratefulness that wells up inside at being there, at that very moment, witnessing the sun scatter colors too bright and varied to name.

It doesn’t capture the magic of not being able to tell exactly where the surface of the water is and the disorientation that follows. It cannot appreciate the moment when the eye lands on a plant that marks where the surface of the water actually is and how my mind has to recalibrate everything I see because it imagined the water’s surface to be higher. It can’t capture that moment of surprise and the enjoyment that comes from being a bit disoriented because the water and sky were conspiring to trick me and I feel pleased because I get the joke.

It can’t capture the amazement at the clarity of the reflection and the reminder that that the stillness of the water is the equanimity I should seek in my mind. Nor the moment of sadness and regret knowing that just recently I made a decision while the waters of my mind were rough and choppy.… Read the full post “The Power and Limitation of a Photo”

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Content warning: Suicide One of the last lines in the movie, The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood is “Old wounds heal, pal.” I believe that to be true. And I believe my old wounds are in the process of healing. I mentioned in my first post that I was working through my own READ MORE

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In my post entitled As the Winter Solstice Approaches, I mentioned that one of the questions I was posing to myself was “What do I want more of?”

As we consider what we want to be different in the coming year, we sometimes think about things we want to not do or things we want to do less of, but asking posing our questions and stating our goals in the right way is important because it helps our brain help us.

Let me lay the groundwork for this for a moment.

Have you ever been driving somewhere that you go often, such as work, and you suddenly find yourself in the parking lot and have no memory of the drive there? Your mind was wandering somewhere else. But your subconscious mind was in full control, getting you safely to work.

On the other hand, have you ever been heading somewhere and suddenly find yourself going another route, perhaps taking a route that you frequently take? Again, your subconscious mind took over, but this time it wasn’t so helpful, taking you the wrong direction.

Both examples show how powerful the subconscious mind is. It can be harnessed to help us meet our goals if we learn how to formulate our goals in ways that our subconscious mind understands more easily.

Our subconscious mind:

1. Does not process negation as well as positive statements.
2. Understands images better than words.

So asking yourself what you want more of leads to positive statements that are more easily understood by the subconscious mind. And associating images with those goals will engage our subconscious mind even further.

Maybe you’ve already written goals for 2022. It’s not too late to rewrite them with this in mind.

1. State what you want to do instead of what you don’t want.
2. Be very specific.
3. Create an image connected to your goals.

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Peter Drucker

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Four months ago, I started hiking up Pinnacle Mountain weekly. It’s not a long hike—just 1.5 miles. But it is challenging hike with an elevation gain of 725 feet in that short distance. It has been a great weekly workout and a big part of my healing journey.

About a month ago, the person I hiked up the mountain with noted how much easier it seemed for me that day. It was true. I thought to myself, “Yes, I put in the work and effort and suddenly I see the benefit.”

During that same time, on an emotional front, I was going through some very challenging situations. I had some very painful moments and also moments of feeling like I had not made any progress. But I stayed with the things I had learned.

1. Emotions are energy and if I sit with them long enough they will transform.
2. High emotional reactivity is probably not about the present moment so don’t act on it in the present moment. Slow down.
3. Emotions are also data that help me recognize the things from my past that need attention. They point me toward other work that needs to be done. And that’s a great thing!
4. Don’t take things personally. That’s sometimes easy and at other times feels impossible. But so much of what I am reacting to is not really about me.

So as I worked my way through that difficult time, I was able to say the same thing I said about climbing the mountain, “Yes, I put in the work and effort and suddenly I see the benefit.”

Slow things down. Feel what I feel. Sit with it for a while. Use it to learn where to focus as I move forward.
And most of all…trust the process.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao Tzu

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[I wrote this in 2005 and it still seems to be relevant. Though not exactly related to the content here, I’m sharing it just for fun. However you spend this time of the year, celebrating a holiday or not, I wish you peace and joy.]

It was the hoIiday tradition in Snufflebergville.
Mayor Regal came out to light the sign on the hill,
But instead of the usual ceremonial event
He read a proclamation, and this is how it went:
“Because we have Widgins and Sneefers and Geefs,
It is no longer fair to just wish Merry Guhn

Photo credit: istock.comeef!”
It is not right to include one and leave out the other.
Though religions may differ, we’re still sister and brother.

“So the big lighted sign that stands o’er our town,
The time has now come for it to come down.
A new sign will be raised to stand in the square
To wish “Seasons Greetings” to ALL who go there.”

Now some in the town gave a hearty, loud cheer.
But some simply hissed. Some booed and some jeered,
“Guhneef is a time that we sing, eat and pray!
And no stuffy mayor can take THAT away!”

And a Sneefer shouted out as the trumpets too-tooted,
“Well, it’s about time that we were included!”
The people all left but a battle was raging;
There were cell phones a-ringing and pagers a-paging.

Soon people were saying that poor Mayor Regal
Was trying to make celebrating Guhneef illegal.
Mrs. Snernoggin called Mrs. Fondeegle
And they exchanged stories about Mayor Regal.
“He left the Geef church to become a Widgin!”
“I heard he’s plum turned his back on reIigion!””

The rumors spread quickly and accusations flew.
No one seemed to care what was false, what was true.
And soon the whole town was all in a tizzy.
They all planned a protest and then they got busy!

Albert Von Wittle dressed as Father Ganeef himself,
With his son, Albert Junior, dressed like an elf.
They each held a sign that said “Sneefers, Go Away!”
And a Sneefer sign replied with “We’re here to stay!”

Geefs built a tower with “MerryGuhneef” on a wire.
The Sneefers built another and built theirs even higher.
And the Geefs were all shouting “Merry Ganeef.”
While the Sneefers yelled songs of a “Happy Jasneef.”

And then mean ol’ Fred Stipple raised his book of Guhneef
And preached to the Sneefers about Guhneef beliefs.
“We celebrate the time when Love came right down,
And we have done so just fine ‘til you Sneefers came to town!”

And then just when it seemed the air couldn’t get thicker.
Someone unplugged the signs and they went out with a flicker.
And then little Michaela stepped out of the crowd
And onto the platform where Stipple preached out so loud.

“Do you really think ribbons and big silver balls?
And hanging up lights and shopping at malls?
And drinking hot cider and eating roast biven?
Gives honor for the gifts we’ve been given?”

And you, Mr. Von Wiffle, you told me yourself
That last year your son, the one dressed like the elf,
After opening his zaffles, and gahzooks and jensmoos,
Looked up from the boxes saying. Where’s the bandooze?”

You were so disappointed because then you knew,
That Guhneef is much more than bandooze or jensmoo.
All this glitter and shopping and flashing lighted signs
Are not symbols of faith! but symptoms of our time.

And if you took the time you’d know that your neighbors
Include Teeters and Roos end even some Schnabers.
My grandma’s a Sneefer, my grandpa’s a Roo.
You’ve all known me forever and, I think, liked me too.

So can’t we all come together in Snufflebergville Square
And just choose to celebrate the common threads that we share?
And wish a peaceful season to our neighbors and friends?
Let’s all start right now before this season ends.

And some Geefs hung their heads and some Sneefers did too;
‘Cuz they knew what Michaela said was all true.
And they put down their signs and dismantled their towers.
A silence fell on the town and remained there for hours.

And then a few Widgins began singing a hymn;
And Geefs started one that was familiar to them;
The Sneefers sang one from their own tradition;
And what happened next defies definition.

As their three hymns of praise harmonically blended
A distinct ray of light on the whole town descended.
MichaeIa took the hand of not-so-mean ol’ Fred Stipple
And it spread through the crowd—ripple upon ripple.

And then they all turned as if on a cue.
They smiled and they nodded cause they knew what to do.
The Sneefers raised the sign that said “Merry Guhneef.”
The Geefs followed suit with the “Happy Jasneef.”

Then the Sneefers lit candles and so did the Geefs
And they placed them in a circle to represent all the beliefs.
To show the Widgins, the Schnabers, the Teeters and others
That Regal was right, we’re all sisters and brothers.

And a new tradition was started that still happens there.
Each year the town gathers in Snuftlebergville Square.
And Geefs bring some biven and Widgens fondue.
And Sneefers bring baloozy and some jendovish too.

Each person brings something—every Schnaber, Teeter and Roo
And it all blends together to make Snufflebergville Stew!
And if you ever get to try it, then you’ll know the reason,
They say in it one tastes the true meaning of this Season.

Motto: The words that you choose to wish season’s greetings matter less than how you treat those people you are meeting.

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One of my favorite meditations is one that Thich Nhat Hanh teaches. It is a meditation that is taught to children in Plum Village in France. Even though it is designed for children, I find it to be a very helpful structure for myself and for people of any age. I especially like that he selects four items in nature—a flower, a mountain, a lake and the sky—to symbolize the qualities of equanimity he teaches.

Beginning meditators may find it to be helpful as well.

Here is how it goes.

Gather four pebbles. If you don’t have pebbles available, you can use other items but if you like the meditation, I encourage you to find some pebbles to use.

Sit in a comfortable position and place four pebbles next to you on the ground or chair. Pick up the first pebble and say:

Breathing in, I see myself as a flower. Breathing out, I feel fresh.
Repeat: “Flower, fresh” for three breaths.

Say silently to yourself “flower, fresh” and breathe quietly for three in and out breaths. Focus on really being a flower and becoming fresh.

Pick up the next pebble and say:

Breathing in I see myself as a mountain, breathing out, I feel solid.

Repeat silently to yourself, “Mountain, solid” for three breaths.

Picking up the next pebble, say, “Breathing in I see myself as still, clear water, breathing out, I reflect things as they really are.”

Repeat silently, “Clear water, reflecting” for three breaths.

Picking up the fourth and final pebble, say “Breathing in I see myself as space, breathing out, I feel free.” Then repeat silently, “Space, free” for three breaths.

If you try this meditation, feel free to share your experiences below.

.

..when our mind is calm, we can see reality more clearly, like still water reflecting the trees, the clouds, and the blue sky. Stillness is the foundation of understanding and insight. Stillness is strength.
Thich Nhat Hanh

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This coming Tuesday, December 21st, is the Winter Solstice.

Though I hate to admit it, I never gave much thought to the summer and winter solstices until I began working as a park interpreter at Toltec Mounds State Park in the mid ’90s. The park is the site of a prehistoric Native American religious and cultural center. The Native Americans constructed mounds that aligned with the solstices and equinoxes. Reading Native American legends about the sun’s movement across the sky gave me a new appreciation for the seasons and specifically for the winter solstice. While the solstice is the shortest day of the year, it also marks the point at which the days begin to lengthen. Indigenous people celebrated the winter solstice as a time of renewal. It is truly Mother Nature’s new year’s day.

A friend recently asked me what significance the winter solstice holds for me. It has become a time of reflection and renewal for me…a time for fresh starts. Personally, it feels more harmonious with the earth to celebrate and reflect on new beginnings on the winter solstice than on the beginning of the calendar year. As the days lengthen and the earth is bathed with more and more sunlight, we know that soon seeds will begin to germinate and plants begin to have new growth.

I like to contemplate what I want to grow in my own life. This year, I plan to ask myself these questions.

• What do I want more of?
• What would I do if I were not afraid?
• What would I do if I didn’t worry about what others thought?

What does the winter solstice signify to you? What questions would help you to clarify what you want more of in your life or what choices you want to make? How would you like to spend your time on the solstice?

As the days lengthen, may we also see more light and wisdom reflected in the world around us. And may peace, love and compassion be our guides, this season and always.

Only when we are brave enough to explore our darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
Brené Brown

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To walk among flowers and breathe in their beauty,
To sit by a stream and soak in its calm,
To be covered at night by a blanket of stars,
To let the prothonotary warbler teach me its song.

The universe offers us opportunities to be amazed, intrigued, and appreciative. It is easy, though, in the business of life to become distracted by other things and not take notice of the wonder around us. To remain in a posture of wondering, to be an active wonderer,  is part of my commitment with this blog.

There is so much to learn. There are endless tangible wonders to discover—enough to give one meaning for an entire lifetime.

What will you do this week to soak it in?

Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.
William Wordsworth

Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.
Rachel Carson

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