Trick r' Treat?

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

There was a man named Joe, a carpenter who made incredible furniture.

There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunette and one redhead...

The only cow in a small town in Chełm, Poland stopped giving milk...

In the Beginning, God created Dave...

Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"

Now with more cowbell.

    Prepare to Drop

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

“Could have been worse.”

None of them made it back alive...

This is long, but I think it's worth it.

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar at Ronoke after work for a drink and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Wilson Creek Bridge, the tallest bridge in Virginia.

The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed.

The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet". So, the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".

The blonde replied, "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

Triple the Consequences.

Check your six.

Update 2.9.0 provides new features, revisions, alterations, and adjustments to the user's overall web experience.

UI

• Added an awesome custom cursor (not compatible with some browsers)

• Improved the visual look of the home page

• Fixed a bug on the Privacy Policy page and made an overall replacement

• Complete overall of the "External Links" RSS feeds

• Fixed an issue where the RSS boxes weren't properly displayed on mobile version using Height: Auto attribute

• Added titles, dates, and preview description

• Added a "Recommendations" section on the side bar

• Added a "More Stuff" section" on the side bar

• Added a "Site Updates" section on the side bar

• Added cool CSS digital art on various pages

Video

• Fixed an issue where videos are out of place on the mobile version using Height: Auto attribute.

Mobile

• Improved user-experience for mobile users

General

• General Installed admin tools that enable us to better inspect and manage programming

Technical

• Patch systems have been improved

• Improved networking resilience to packet reordering

• Networking improvements for certain routers

• Eliminated certain web elements for better compression to boost performance and reduce data

• Fixed a rare soft-lock when a user's internet connection drops

• Implemented platform-specific performance optimizations for the web browser for Sony PlayStation 3, and PlayStation 4

• Implemented device display optimizations for 16:9 and 16:10 televisions and monitors

• Fixed stability issues across all platforms (Chrome, Safari, Edge, Firefox)

One day a Snail decides he’s moving a little too slow...