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Title of Points in Case: "Points in Case – Literary Humor, Comedy, and Satire"

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1. You have won second place in Reel Big Fish Karaoke Contest. Collect $15 off bar tab.

2. You are assessed for house show repairs—$45 for each broken chain wallet, $115 for each scuffed Pork Pie hat.

3. Income tax refund—collect $20 and immediately bid for trombones on Ebay.

4. From sale of Mighty Mighty Bosstones tickets, receive $45 and endless scorn f...


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We get it. Reality’s not exactly awesome right now. Maybe your spouse just left you. Maybe your dog just died. Maybe your civilization is collapsing. Maybe you just said to a cashier, “Hi, how are you?” and they said, “Good, how are you?” and you said, “Good, how are you?”

Whatever your intolerable situation is, you’ve rightly decided to take a nice long coma until it ...


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You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.

You’re gonna like the way you look. And if you don’t, let’s just say we have ways to make you like the way you look. I fucking guarantee it.

We have ways of making you like the way you look. Mostly they involve joining our rewards program and meeting us in a gravel parking lot under a bridge in Bayonne every se...


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We’ve committed to a friend trip this year, but we haven’t settled on anything yet. Some prefer an exciting city (Amar), some the mountains (me). Some can splurge (congrats on the new job, Paige!), while some need to skimp (sorry about the job, Kevin). We also haven’t decided whether to invite Ethan, who is incapable of talking about anything other than his bonsai trees (I’ve...


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On November 19, 1863, Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address to a crowd of 15,000 at the Soldiers’ National Cemetery. Mind you, this was before cell phones, so Lincoln didn’t have to improvise any jokes when someone’s device in the crowd inevitably went off. And those in attendance weren’t able to record long videos of the speech that they’d end up trying to show di...


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