Points in Case

Subject: ACTION REQUIRED: Your Tooth Fairy Visit
From: Brayden, Head of Pillow Experience
To: Maisie, Grade 1

Hi Maisie!

Congratulations on the lower left incisor that came out at 6:42 this evening, in a grilled cheese! Due to unprecedented de...

Well, well, well, look who came crawling back. I’m assuming you’re here to beg for my forgiveness. Well, it’s not me you should be groveling to, its’s your poor, neglected teeth.

Oh, just a cleaning today? And what exactly am I cleaning in that horrid graveyard that is your mouth? I hate to say it, but there is really nothing I can do for you. Your enamel is gone. A gh...

To Flesh n’ Bones Homeowner:

This letter is to inform you that the Skeleton Actors Guild (SAG) Local 666 refuses to work this Halloween in your annual front yard Skeleton Restaurant production, unless you address the following grievances and meet our demands.

The run of our performance season has grown longer every year with Halloween decorations being on displa...

Women’s Restroom: After three firm slams with the brass knockers bolted to the solid oak Victorian door, a Parisian butler greets you in a long-tailed tuxedo, glass of pink lemonade in hand with a mint leaf submerged between three blocks of ice. The drink sweats profusely—and that’s what the linen handkerchief is for—one-thousand thread count.

...

The universe you live in is the ninth attempt. The creator built it out of parts from the first eight. You’ve probably noticed.

Universe One: The Dinner Plate

Everything that would ever exist happened at once, in eleven seconds, in a space the size of a dinner plate. Nobody had invented time yet. A little of it leaked into ours, which is why the dentist, the plumber, a...