Have you ever noticed how much kids like collecting things? No doubt you have had many a squished bug, muddy rock (because it’s shaped like a heart!), or especially beautiful leaf bestowed upon you by your curious child who delights in the simple (and sometimes disgusting) things of life.

I loved collecting things when I was little too. But, I was a bookworm from the beginning, so I collected—you guessed it—allll the papers. Sunday school papers, mail I thought looked interesting, or scraps of colorful craft paper all found their way into my myriad of small bags (which I also collected).

One day when I was cleaning out my closet, teenager me discovered a collection of these papers, and guess what else I had snatched when no one was looking—lots and lots of missionary prayer cards!

Praying for missionaries can be a daunting task! There are so many names, so many needs, so many words you don’t know how to pronounce. Praying is hard anyway! And adding the variable of unknown countries and people definitely does NOT make it easier. But there are practical, easy ways to make praying for your missionaries something both you and your kids enjoy!

5 Ways to Pray for Missionaries With Your Kids

1. Use those prayer cards.

Utilize the collecting skills of your children and put together a photobook using the missionary prayer cards your kids have squirreled away! You can even get crafty and make a missionary scrapbook with decorations all over and glitter glue oozing off every page (well, maybe try to avoid the glitter glue!). Letting your kids be part of this process helps them be invested in the missionaries whose prayer cards they are saving and decorating.

Another awesome way to help your kids pray for missionaries is to have prayer cards on your refrigerator! At mealtimes, pick one missionary to pray for when you thank God for how He has provided for your needs and ask Him to provide for that missionary as well. This practice will connect prayer with daily habits and make it easier to remember to be praying for missionaries consistently.

Another way to use prayer cards is to put them in a little box or bin (kids can decorate this too!) and work your way through praying for one missionary a day in family devotion time or before bed. Take the prayer card from the front, pray for that missionary, and then rotate that card to the back. This can be a really fun way to engage younger kids—especially if you hide the box and ask them to find it in order to see who you get to pray for that day!

2. Read about missionaries.

Reading missionary biographies is a great way to introduce your kids to the kind of lives that missionaries lead. You can read them out loud during family reading time, or you can have your kids choose biographies that interest them for reading on their own! Realizing the kinds of challenges that missionaries face will help your kids better understand how to pray for them!

Missionaries write prayer letters for a reason! Usually, you can subscribe to an email list and get updates directly from missionaries. Some churches even print out the letters of the missionaries the church supports so you can pick them up and read them. Family devotions, after dinner, or bedtime is a great time to catch up on what God is doing in the lives of your missionaries and in those with whom they are sharing the gospel. Then, you can know how to pray for all your missionaries!

Of course, you can read about missionaries from hundreds of years ago, too! Our To Every Nation study gives kids a glimpse into the lives of 12 missionaries by telling their stories, applying related Bible verses, and providing activities in order to engage and teach kids!

3. Communicate with missionaries.

Encourage your kids to write letters or emails to the missionaries you pray for! If you can be interacting with the people you are committing to pray for, hearing about their daily lives and maybe some of the smaller prayer requests they don’t include in prayer letters will make their requests real and personal to you. Kids will think to pray for missionaries when those missionaries are their friends!

When missionaries visit your church, work with your kids to know the names of them and their children. Not only will this make your missionaries feel welcomed and loved in your church, but it will be rewarding to your children to get to build friendships with the people they have been consistently praying for.

Don’t underestimate the impact of care packages! For missionaries, receiving little packages with drawings, treats, small toys, tools, or familiar books can be incredibly encouraging since they are far from home. As you put together these care packages with your kids, talk to them about what it’s like to live in a different country, and then thank the Lord for your missionaries who are willing to follow God’s call to share the gospel in that country.

4. Use a prayer calendar.

Sometimes we simply forget to pray for missionaries because we have so many other big prayer requests that feel more urgent in our lives. Family is sick, a friend is looking for a job, your church needs wisdom for a big decision—so the missionaries that are physically so far away get pushed far out of your mind as well. One way to remind yourself and your kids to pray for your missionaries is to assign specific missionaries or needs to certain days of the week. That way, you won’t get bogged down if you miss a day, and it’s easy to pick up on the current date and be consistent going forward!

When it comes to missions, many of us need to think outside the box and remember to pray for people who are doing “non-traditional” missionary work as well. Missionary work includes those in foreign countries AND people reaching out into their communities, doing Bible clubs for kids, and telling someone in the local grocery store about Jesus! Missionary work means giving out the gospel—no matter where you are.

Using a prayer calendar is a great way to remember all of these aspects of praying for missionaries! You can schedule out what and who you pray for every day and also write down missions prayer requests that you might not think of right off the top of your head.

Get our #NotConsumed Missions Prayer Calendar below!

5. Keep a list of answered prayers.

Something I’ve noticed in my prayers for missionaries is that if I’m not careful, those prayers can start to resemble a jingle from a TV ad. “Bless them and give them boldness” is a valid prayer! But we need to pray for more than this! Pray big prayers with your kids. Write these prayers down and pray specifically. Talk with them about our awesome God who saves “to the uttermost.” Your bold prayers of faith will teach them to pray their own prayers of faith. Then, when you see God answer, celebrate His goodness with your kids!

Not only can you praise God for these answers to prayer, but you can reference your answered prayer list when you go to pray for other big requests. Remembering God’s faithfulness in times past will encourage your kids to continue praying bigger prayers and increase their faith to follow God in their own lives. Who knows—maybe they’ll be on your missionary prayer list years down the road!

Help for Praying for Missionaries With Your Kids

We’ve created this Missions Prayer Calendar to help us be more thoughtful and intentional with our prayers for missionaries and missions. Use this calendar to pray individually or with your family.

Pray through any included verses for that day to meditate on His promises.

Print out this calendar and place it in a spot where you will be reminded to pray. Hang it on your fridge, tuck it into your Bible or prayer journal.

I would suggest printing this calendar on 8.5″ x 11″ cardstock as it will be more sturdy.

The people our kids hang out with will change them! We need these 8 prayers for
friendships to help support them.

Praying for friendships has consumed much of my parenting life. I can’t say that predicted that friendships would be the hottest topic of parenting, but it’s certainly at the top of the list. Of my 4 children, all 4 have experienced deep difficulty with friendships.

One of my children really struggled to reach out and make friends because she was so shy. We worked very hard learning skills to overcome that barrier and it changed her life.

Another child makes friends easily but struggles to know how to handle friends who are a bad influence.

One of my boys had a pretty rough patch with being bullied a few years back.

We’ve learned a lot, grown a lot, and PRAYED a lot more. God has been and will continue to be faithful. If you feel desperate for help with your kids’ friendships, start on your knees. There may be some other things you can do, but if you leave this one out, all of your efforts will be in vain.

8 Prayers for Friendships

I get it. Somtimes we KNOW how important prayer is, but we just aren’t sure exactly where to start. And other times, we just need a few new ideas to get us going. Either way, you’ll love these prayers for friendship and the free printable that follows!

1. Pray for true friendship

As a parent, true friendship is something I’ve prayed for myself and for my kids to find! In the midst of this uncertain world, I pray my kids learn how to be consistent and true friends. A true friendship is focused NOT on what others can do for you, but on what you can do for your friends.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  John 15:13

In 1 Samuel 20, David finds a friend that sticks by his side through hard situations—even deadly situations! I am praying for my kids to find friendships like this. Through the friendship of David and Jonathan, we get a glimpse of what it looks like to lay down your life for a true friend and remain faithful even through hard times. 

2. Pray for wise friendships

Seeking wise company can be a challenge for our kids—especially when they just want to have friends. But the reminder to pray for wise friends sticks out to me. Because of the way the world is today, it is so easy to get caught up in the wrong crowd and get distracted by what everyone else thinks.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the low of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. Psalm 1:1–2

In Psalm 1:1–2, God strongly advises us on who to spend our time with. I’ve had to ask myself, “Are my kids in good company?” To be in good company and to find wise friends is what I pray for my kids. Our kids want friends—let’s pray for friends that are wise.

3. Pray for friendships that grow faith

Have you ever received wisdom from an older friend? Older friends are such a blessing. As we pray for our kids, these mentor-type friendships are something to pray for. In the book of Acts and again in the books of 1 and 2 Timothy, we see the mentor-type friendship of Paul and Timothy. They spur each other on to follow after God.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Paul encourages Timothy to seek God and urges him to pursue things in life with eternal value. I am praying for friendships that sharpen and grow my kids’ faith. I pray for someone that will mentor my kids and help them grow in their faith. Let’s pray for friends who will spur each other on as they seek after God.   

4. Pray for faithful friendships

Sometimes we have to choose to remain faithful to friends. And it’s not easy. There are sacrifices involved. I am tempted daily by the world to not make time for those friendships. But I know God has more to teach me through those friendships.

Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3

In the Bible, Ruth and Naomi’s relationship is a great example of a friendship that turns into a faithful friendship as they seek God together. They show commitment to each other through sacrifice. As we pray for our kids’ friendships, let’s commit to praying for our kids to remain faithful in their friendships no matter what—even if sacrifice is required! 

5. Pray for friendships that build up one another

Would you say your kids have good friends? I think that’s a tough question. What makes a good friend? I am reminded to pray not just for good friends but for friendships that will build each other up.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

The description in Ephesians of how to treat our friends has made an impact on me. It encourages me to pray for a friend that is kind, for a friend that feels love, sadness, and compassion, for a friend that forgives. I pray my kids’ friendships will be a source of strength as they walk with the Lord.

6. Pray for friendships that stand firm in times of pressure

The friendship of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is a great example of a friendship that stands firm in times of pressure. Their example reminds me to pray for those firm friendships. I pray for friends who my kids can trust to stand with them as they face pressure and rely on God. I pray for friends that will build one another up.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

Our kids face daily pressures with friends, media, school, etc. But when they have friends to stand up with under pressure, that can be life-changing. I am praying for friends they can encourage—friends that will build each other up to stay committed to God as they face temptations and pressure. It will take firm friendships to go against the grain. Let’s pray our kids have those types of strong friendships!

7. Pray for difficult friendships

Sometimes a friend doesn’t always look like the type of friend we imagined. Yet God can use those friendships in the lives of our kids. They will learn how to be strengthened by the friends they are surrounded by.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Difficult friendships can cause stronger and more refined friendships. As my kids learn how to handle conflicting friendships, I pray they will become better friends. Through the lens of God’s grace, our kids will grow and learn to trust God. Pray for friends in our kids’ lives who they can support and encourage. I pray that they will trust God as their strength in those friendships.

8. Pray for forever friendships

A friend who accepts us and loves us at all times is unique. Right? Siblings can be that type of friend. Friends that are close like siblings can also be a treasure like that too. I am praying for my kids to have friendships that are strengthened over time and show love over time.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Faithful friends who stick together no matter the circumstances are something I’m praying for. Learning to love at all times and be a friend through all circumstances is another prayer I have for my kids. Let’s commit to praying for these friendships for our kids!

Friendships are not always easy. No matter how old you are, friendship issues can feel like being stuck in the middle of a dark, stormy sea. This is why we need the faithful compass of the Bible to direct our “ships” back to calmer waters and back to His glory. This Bible study shows you how to keep Christ as your focus to all friendships.

8 Prayers for Friendship FREE Printable

You can print out and use this 8 Prayers for Friendship printable that I’ve created to help keep these thoughts and prayers in mind throughout your day. Tuck it in your Bible or prayer journal. Hang it on your fridge or keep it in your purse.

I recommend printing it on cardstock so that it will be more sturdy. Simply fill out the box below to get your copy of the printable!

If you are unable to see the form above, please turn off ad-blockers and/or open using a different browser.

Prayer life is literally our lifeline and we know it, yet we struggle to make it happen.
Be encouraged with these 6 ways to grow in prayer.

I was so excited. I had finished enough of my work for the day so that I didn’t feel guilty taking some extra time to relax that night. So I took a long, hot shower and started the process of making French press coffee while I massaged lotion onto my skin and applied a luxurious face mask.

Then, in the throes of self-pampering, I made a terrible decision. I whipped out my teeth whitening strips and applied those too! Remember why this might be a problem? Just then, I smelled my beautiful, steaming cup of smooth dark roast coffee, and the folly of my actions crashed into my consciousness like a mother of five running late to a birthday party.

So did I waste the coffee or the whitening strips? Well, what would you do?? Of course, I chastised myself first, but then off came the whitening strips in favor of that tantalizing bean water. I wanted my coffee so much that I did whatever it took to make sure I got to drink it.

Though I have great zeal for my coffee, I rarely find myself having that same desire for prayer—which, when you think about it, is really sobering. I often value my caffeine pick-me-up more than a conversation with my Heavenly Father. If you identify with this, don’t be discouraged! Let’s talk about how we can grow our thirst for prayer!

6 Tips to Growing Your Prayer Life

1. Get to know your God.

Just like it’s really hard to talk to someone you don’t know very well, it is really hard to pray to a God you don’t know very well either! How are you supposed to know what to say if you don’t know who He is? Why would you come to Him with your burdens if you aren’t sure whether or not He even cares?

If you don’t know how perfectly just and mighty He is, you won’t talk to Him about how your heart hurts at the injustice around you. If you don’t know how deeply compassionate God is, you won’t tell Him about the tiny details in your life that are taking up huge spaces in your mind. Just as you cannot trust someone you do not know, you will not trust a God you do not know.

Prayer is a conversation with the almighty God of the universe, but that almighty God is also our Father! Remember this as you pray—He wants to hear your heart.

Studying the names of God is a wonderful way to refresh your prayer life with all that God is. Our #NotConsumed Prayer Journal has a section entirely dedicated to exploring the names of God!

2. Learn how to pray.

It’s a pretty universal principle that you have to know how to do something before you can do it! The same thing goes for your prayer life—you can’t pray if you don’t understand prayer and how it works. So check out prayers in the Bible and learn what goes into prayer! Then, take it one step further and pray through these passages of Scripture.

Here are some prayers to get you started:

• Psalm 16—when you feel unsteady or discouraged

• Psalm 51—when you are broken over sin

• Psalm 103—when you want to praise the Lord

• Matthew 6:9–15—when you need to remember how to pray

As you read through these prayers, personalize them and make them yours. Put yourself in the place of the Psalmist. Use the model Jesus Himself gave! Ask the Lord for forgiveness for your sins and to provide for your needs.

More of these powerful prayers are listed in our #NotConsumed Prayer Journal!

3. Make your prayer life a habit.

So often, we don’t pray because we don’t have time! In the busyness of a day where there are things we definitely do have scheduled, we fail to schedule a time to pray. So even if it’s not pretty, set an alarm, write sticky notes, or do whatever it takes to remind yourself when it is time to pray. This INTENTIONAL step will help you make it a daily habit.

Another thing that has really worked for me is to link the habit of prayer with other daily habits. For example, every morning in the shower, I pray for the day ahead (my kids, the schedule, whatever might be happening). Every time I brush my teeth, I pray for my kids’ future spouses.

Can prayers be that short? Yes! You don’t have to sit down at 5 am and pray for two hours before everyone else in your house gets up. Nope! Just take 10 minutes! Or take an hour if you have it! The goal is to focus on a conversation with your God. This helps you establish a right mindset towards honoring God in the day ahead of you.

Maybe you are one of those people (like myself) who can barely form a grunt in the morning, let alone have a conversation. Then schedule a prayer time for mid-morning, afternoon, or evening! The point is to have time that you know is for prayer. As you set aside time for your prayer life, you will realize that your mind will begin to naturally drift into that prayer conversation at different times throughout the day when you realize you need God’s special help or wisdom.

4. Write out your prayers.

Words might not be your thing, but you don’t need to be a New York Times bestselling author to write down your prayers! They aren’t for anyone to see except you and God.

The big reason this exercise is important is that it helps you slow down and stay on task rather than jumping from one thing to another constantly. Yes, multitasking is a wonderful skill to have, but you don’t want to be utilizing it in your prayer life! When you pray, be there, sitting still, peacefully talking with your Father.

Sometimes you might feel so overcome by a situation that you feel like you can’t be still enough to pray. The physical act of writing out what is keeping you from having peace and then committing it to the Lord can help you mentally release your cares and worries to your God.

5. Speak your prayers aloud.

A healthy prayer life is lived out loud! The Psalmist says in Psalm 63:3, “Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.” There are times to pray silently in your heart, but there are also times to praise the Lord where others can hear you!

Praise the Lord with your lips in thankfulness and also so others will hear and be encouraged by God’s faithfulness. Don’t worry about getting it all right or saying things perfectly. Just pour out your heart to God.

Praying out loud is also a wonderful way to teach others how to pray, whether it is your close friend who just poured out her heart to you, young children in Sunday school, or someone you are discipling. Hearing others pray is how we learn to be comfortable with praying out loud ourselves!

But praying out loud doesn’t have to be something you reserve for public. Just like writing out your prayers, praying aloud will help you stay focused and remember what you are doing. Trust me, I use this trick all the time (especially in the shower!) so my mind doesn’t wander to other places.

6. Keep a list or prayer journal.

I have a love-hate relationship with lists. On the one hand, writing down a list can really help me organize my thoughts and prioritize what I have to do—but sometimes, seeing the physical list of all the things that were previously just nebulous concepts floating around in my head can be incredibly overwhelming.

Prayer lists can also be really overwhelming, but with some strategy and organization, you can make them work for you instead of being enslaved to them yourself. Divide your prayer list into categories like family, friends, coworkers, and missionaries, and then pray through a category every day. If your categories are too big, assign certain people and situations you’re praying for to each day. This way, you can work through that day’s list and know that you have prayed for everyone you needed to that day and not worry that you missed anyone.

Another super helpful idea is keeping a running prayer list on your phone for prayer requests you hear throughout the day. Then, when you’re back to your prayer list, you can add those requests in and actually pray for the people you promised to pray for!

Prayer journals can help you stay even more organized and intentional with your prayer life. They often include sections or categories to organize your requests and even space to write out your prayers like we mentioned earlier!

You can check out our beautiful #NotConsumed Prayer Journal here!

Looking for more ideas to grow your prayer life? Check out these posts:

How to Have a Family Prayer Time

Teaching Kids to Pray

Back to school prayers are exactly what we need to get this school year started!
You’ll love this free printable calendar!

The world we live in is filled with unknowns. With the climate around us constantly changing, it’s easy to be overwhelmed with concerns about how this will affect the lives of our kids and their school year.

Many of us will be entering new territory this year. Whether it’s sending your first child to school, homeschooling for the first time, changing schools or co-ops where your child doesn’t know anyone, or countless other possibilities, we cannot rely on our strength alone to soothe our souls of the anxiety these thoughts can bring.

God wants us to bring our cares and concerns to Him and talk about these things!

From my college-age student down to my 7th grader, each one of my kids has different strengths, weaknesses, and struggles. They will all be trying and learning new things—they will need daily intercessory prayer to lift them up and encourage them as they start this new school year.

Making Time for Back to School Prayers

You and I both know that the best-laid plans don’t always work the way we want them to. We are going to have to be intentional.

Designate a time each day to pray for your child’s school day.

Even better, include them in this prayer time to help keep those prayers in their thoughts all throughout the day. It can be in the car on the way to school, in the morning during breakfast or a morning meeting time, or even in the evening as you gather and discuss the activities of the day.

Setting an alarm to remind you about this is one of the best ways to really be intentional! (Plus, we’ve got an awesome prayer calendar below to help you stay accountable!)

Who Should I Include in My Back to School Prayers?

In general, there are three categories of people to pray for when it comes to back-to-school prayers.

Pray for your child: Lift up your child in prayer for all the subjects and specific areas of attitude and behavior that he both struggles with and excels at. 

Pray for your child’s teachers: The influence of a teacher in our kids’ lives—either through full-time school out of the house, a co-op teacher, or an extra-curricular activity teacher—will play a meaningful role in your child’s enjoyment and success in learning. Remember to pray for wisdom and grace for your child’s teachers this year. Pray for the provision of their needs for teaching. If you’re a homeschool teacher, make sure to be praying for yourself!

Pray for your child’s friends: Typically, friendships will be made through some type of school, co-op, or activity setting. Pray that God would help develop long-lasting godly friendships and also that He would bring your attention to any negative relationships. Pray for all the students and families represented in these communities.

We’ve detailed requests for these three categories in our free printable Back to School Prayer Calendar below.

What Should My Back to School Prayers Be About?

There are many areas of your child’s school life that you can pray for each day! I’ve created this Back to School Prayer Calendar to be very specific and intentional with daily prayers for your children. Use this calendar to pray with and/or for your child.

Pray through any included verses for that day to meditate on His promises toward us. Use your child’s name to replace the pronouns in the prayer to truly make it personal.

Print out this calendar and place it in a spot where you will be reminded to pray for your children throughout the day. Hang it on your fridge, tuck it into your Bible or prayer journal.

I would suggest printing this calendar on 8.5″ x 11″ cardstock as it will be more sturdy.

Finally, be encouraged that as you are praying for your children, God is doing a mighty work in their lives and preparing them to be used for His glory!

Kids’ friendships are treasured and beautiful, but they are also difficult. With these tips,
we can help our kids navigate friendships well.

It was my favorite day ever: my 8th birthday. The sun glistened through the trees as I sat on our chain-link fence, staring down the street anxiously waiting for my friends to arrive at my party. I won’t lie. There was a moment when I wondered if anyone would come. But, one by one they pulled into the driveway, and I was surrounded by people who had come just to celebrate with me.

I’ve had many birthdays since that one, but it’s the one I hold most dear, probably because friendship at that point in my life was so simple. Since then I’ve learned that friends can be ugly. Friends can abandon you. Friends can move away. Friends can even betray you.

The truth is friendship is hard, and we only have a few short years before we learn that reality, which is why we need to be intentional about having our kids navigate friendships well.

1. Healthy friendships blossom out of a secure relationship with Christ.

Every person has a need for a constant and loving friend in their lives. Sometimes this desire can lead to poor choices in friendships or clinging to the wrong crowd, not out of a desire to do wrong, but out of a desire to be loved and accepted. When your child learns that Jesus is their constant, unbiased, unchanging, and ever-present Friend, their relationships will no longer be based on something their peers can’t give them.

Because Jesus is their Friend always and forever, your child’s relationships can be centered not around the need for someone to be there for them but around the desire to be there for someone else and to serve them. 

2. Good friends seek out people who need a friend.

Sometimes kids have trouble making friends because of pre-established friend groups or people who don’t include them. (Flashback to middle school, right?)

When kids are not being included or just feeling lonely, they usually aren’t the only ones. Encourage your children to find the other kids who are sitting alone and show them kindness. This requires a different motivation for friendship. Instead of waiting for other kids to invite them into their circles, our children can learn to reach out to others and make them part of their circles.

Even if your child has many friends, encourage them to never let someone be alone. When your children learn to do this, they will always have a friend around!

3. If you want to make friends, be a good friend.

In order to make good friends, your child needs to learn how to be a good friend. We often spend so much time focused on good friendships and finding people we want to be friends with that we forget what friendship is at the very core. Jesus said …

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).

Friendship isn’t self-seeking. It’s others-seeking. That’s the bottom line. We don’t want to teach our kids to make good friends—we want to teach them to be good friends. The rest will come naturally!

Here are a few of the ways you can teach your kids how to be a good friend (these ideas are from the Bible study Navigating Friendships.)

• Friends keep promises.
• Friends are faithful.
• Friends are mentors.
• Friends stand together.
• Friends work things out.
• Friends listen.
• Friends celebrate each other.
• Friends pray for each other.
• Friends put each other first.

4. Not all friendships are the same (and that’s a good thing).

Not every friend is the same. This is something we know as adults, but it’s something we’ve learned over the years. It’s important to have this conversation with your kids and explain to them how different friendships work. I’ve done this by using the analogy of circles and the jobs you’ll find on a ship.

Your CAPTAIN is your closest friend, Jesus. He will ALWAYS be there for you, and absolutely no one else can fill His role in your life.

Your FIRST MATE is your parents. They comfort, protect, and provide for you. Like the Captain, your job is to obey them BECAUSE you love them!

Your SECOND MATE is your siblings if you have them. They’ve got your back in times of trouble. They won’t always be there for you as the Captain is, but your friendship with them will last a lifetime—much longer than other friends.

Your SHIPMATES are the friends that you meet in the different seasons of your life. They will come and go as you travel through life, some staying longer than others. These are the friends that you do life with. You get to pick them and should pick them wisely, as they will impact the direction your life is going.

EVERYONE ELSE is in your outer circle. That just means you are careful NOT to let these friends influence your life. You probably spend less time with these friends, possibly because of their lifestyle, but also because of circumstances, geographic location, or even just interests. Someone in the outside circle isn’t necessarily a bad influence; they just simply aren’t in a close enough relationship with you to influence your choices and decisions.

We are called to love everyone, but our friendships will look different with different people! This isn’t a bad thing! If all of our friendships were super close, we would be overwhelmed or at least exhausted. Plus, our relationships might be shallow. Helping your kids identify different levels (or closeness) of friendships will help them establish healthy boundaries and avoid harmful influences. (More in that in a moment.)

5. You can’t avoid harmful friends—learn to set good boundaries.

Sometimes peer pressure is good. It can encourage your children to do something a little out of their comfort zones or, if they have the right friends, keep them from making a bad choice. However, we all know that friends can truly harm your kids. So how do you keep your child from forming friendships with people that will not help them grow towards Christlikeness? 

You don’t. Instead, you teach them the different levels of friendship (above), and you show them how to have a healthy friendship—with boundaries—with anyone they do life with. For example, when I was in college I worked at TGI Fridays. Let’s just say most of my coworkers were NOT living a lifestyle that would be a good influence on me. But I had to work with them several days a week, so I had to figure out how to foster a friendship with good boundaries.

The best thing you can do to help your kids with this is to teach them what the right kinds of friends look like. Teach them what the Bible says about friendships and make sure they have access to good friends. Most importantly, have LOTS of conversations with them often about their friends, good choices and bad choices, peer pressure, and everything else that comes up.

“Bad” friends are not always bad for your children. If you have older children who have many good, strong relationships and know well what they should and should not do, they can (and should!) reach out to other kids who are struggling or like their other friends. Friendships like this teach your child to welcome everyone, to not always listen to their friends, and to reach out to and influence someone else for good. I encourage my kids to have these friendships, but I also make sure that I’m close by when they spend time together. That way I can address issues and offer support.

6. God’s Word has all the answers for friendships.

Kids need to know that friendship isn’t easy. When we are young, we struggle to share. As we grow older, there are issues with envy or hurt feelings. Sometimes friends move away. Sometimes they find a new friend. If you don’t talk with your kids about friendships, they will really struggle to make and keep good friendships.

Most importantly, if we don’t teach them to go to God’s Word for help, we will fail to prepare them for the things we’d never expect or fail to imagine. Trust me, I know it’s difficult to teach your kids what God’s Word says about all of the things. Thankfully, you don’t have to do that. All you need to do is teach them to GO to the Word for all the things. Do that by giving them solid resources that point them to God’s Word!

We’ve written our Bible study, Navigating Friendships, to help you do just that! It’s your easy button for getting your kids into God’s Word for themselves and learning all that He has to say about friendship.

Do you feel frustrated trying to create the best homeschool schedule? After 20 years of homeschooling, I can tell you that it’s NOT impossible to create the perfect homeschool schedule. But I can also tell you that it probably doesn’t look anything like what you might have imagined.

If we haven’t met, I’m Kim Sorgius. I have an M.A in Curriculum Development and planned to spend my career teaching in the public school system. Until one day while on maternity leave with my first child, I began homeschooling my 8-year-old nephew in an effort to save him from being retained the second time. My goal was to catch him up and send him back. The rest of the story is a really cool one–as I felI in love with homeschooling so much that I’ve spent the last 20 years doing anything it took to continue doing it with my own kids.

In those early homeschooling days, I very quickly learned that homeschooling was NOT THE SAME as the classroom. Baby diaper blowouts were unscheduled. Some concepts took longer to learn than expected and most importantly, we found that the rabbit trails led to the kind of learning we couldn’t pass up.

So, I had to throw out the traditional homeschool schedule!

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE a good schedule. I just needed one that would work with our style of learning and flex around unexpected things like a visit from grandma, a really cool comet that we just had to stay up late for, and yes, those diaper blowouts.

3 ingredients for the perfect homeschool schedule

It’s centered around family life, not institutional systems.

The biggest lesson I learned as a new homeschooler was that the classroom schedule did NOT work. But it’s so ingrained in our minds as the “way to learn” we can’t see past it. Trust me, you’re not alone in that. The best homeschool schedule throws all of that tradition out the window and instead seeks to find a system that works for your family, helping you accomplish your goals, instead of boxing you in or binding you to an institutional ball-and-chain.

It must be flexible.

Lack of flexibility will lead to frustration EVERY TIME and many of those times, we just give up. I know you’ve been there. The morning starts off perfectly until little Jessica wakes up with an ear infection. By the time you get home from the doctor and the pharmacy, it’s nearly time for lunch and you figure the day is just shot. After all, you’ve missed all of the things that you wrote down for the morning and there’s no way to turn back the clock.

But, I also feel the rub of leaving things TOO loose. No schedule at all often leads to getting pretty much nothing done. I’ve settled on a core structure (I call these chunks) and a flexible routine within those chunks. The best part is, if something interrupts your morning chunk, it can be pushed back until later or even swapped with the afternoon chunk. Once we started doing this, we no longer gave up on school just because something unexpected popped up.

In creating a schedule based on chunks, it’s easy to get back on track at any point in the day. Even if we have an unexpected appointment. We just jump back in at the right chunk. Plus, without a bunch of set times to remember, it is much easier to keep up.

It should teach responsiblility

If you create a schedule that keeps mom in the driver’s seat without allowing your kids the ability to take responsibility for keeping the routine, THEY WON’T bother. We can’t become frustrated with our kids when they don’t take ownership if we are constantly micromanaging their moments. A great homeschool schedule sets boundaries of time that contain a flexible routine for kids to accomplish.

Sample homeschool schedule using chunks

The perfect homeschool schedule works FOR YOU, not the other way around. Stop working so hard to make the schedule work and create a system that flows with life.

We do this by dividing the day into manageable chunks of time typically morning, school, lunch, afternoon, and evening.

Each chunk of time has a pre-determined ROUTINE within that chunk. I typically set a time that I’d like for that chunk to start, knowing that it’s flexible and may vary from day to day.

Everything that happens within that chunk of time, happens as a routine with the first things first working down the list.

Here is a peek at what a typical homeschool day looks like for our family:

Morning Chunk  (7:30am)

• Bible reading/quiet time (we use the system for kids devotions)
• tidy room
• breakfast
• morning chores (we use this chore system)
• memory work

If you need ideas for a good morning routine that helps kids learn responsibility, check out this post. Remember, this chunk starts as soon as you get up. It doesn’t matter what time it is!

School Chunk (9:00am)

• family meeting/devotion (more about how we do family Bible study here)
• complete your assignments by checking off your checklist
• turn it in to mom (more about accountability in this post)
• free exploration (we limit this to educational activities and pursuits)

Lunch Chunk (12:00pm)

• help prepare food
• eat lunch
• listen to the read aloud (one of the BEST things we do each day!)
• lunch chore

Afternoon Chunk (2:00 pm)

• turn in your checklist (if you didn’t get to it in the morning)
• quiet time (especially if you have littles)
• Extra-curricular activities/errands
• screen time
• outside time

Family Time Chunk (4:30 pm)

• family game (15-30 minutes)
• clean sweep the house
• help prepare dinner and set the table
• eat dinner
• help clean up the kitchen and do evening chores
• evening activities (bike ride, walk on the trail, church, etc)

Night Time Chunk (8:00-10:00 pm)

• bath and books (this is indpendent reading time. Check out this booklist for ideas.)
• Special time with mom
• Prayers and lights out

The time for this chunk has greatly varied over the years from 7pm all the way to about 10pm with my high schoolers. Remember to take into consideration your family’s unique circumstances and ages when you determine a general time for this.

Also, if you are working from home and homeschooling, you’ll find this simple homeschool schedule for working moms super helpful. I’ve been working since my kids were very young, so I’ll share all of my best tips!

Sample homeschool schedules for all grade levels

If you’re looking for specific ideas for each grade level, you’ll find suggested homeschool schedules, curriculum, and teaching ideas for all ages below:

• Preschool Homeschool Curriculum
• Kindergarten Homeschool Curriculum
• First Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Second Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Third Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Fourth Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Fifth Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Sixth Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Seventh Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• Eighth Grade Homeschool Curriculum
• High School Homeschool Curriculum

Get help planning your homeschool schedule

If this feels a little overwhelming, I’d love for you to join our Homeschool Planning Bootcamp. It’s a totally FREE 5-day course that will walk you step-by-step through the process of planning your BEST homeschool year ever!

I suddenly became a single mom—a single homeschooling mom—years ago, with a 1st grader, kindergartner, two-year-old, and baby on the way.

At that time, I bought the lie that homeschooling families were perfect. I tried hard to “make” our family fit this perfect mold. It was such a crazy lie and so far from the reality of life.

It took me a long time to accept reality. Somewhere in there, I was forcing homeschooling into a box—one that closed the lid and said, “Keep out: imperfect families and single moms.” I bought the lie that I wasn’t enough, so I kept quiet. In God’s merciful grace, I didn’t quit homeschooling, but I did hide.

For so long, I prayed that our family would be reconciled and once again fit into that perfect homeschooling family mold. But God has gently taught me that the perfect homeschooling family doesn’t exist. He’s taught me that I can still homeschool in the broken world because we are all broken, even those who aren’t showing it. 

How Can a Single Mom Afford to Homeschool?

It’s a question I get all the time.

It’s really quite a fair question. I know it was at the forefront of my mind when I first became a single mom. However, it’s not that easy to answer due to the wide variety of situations.

So how does a single mom afford to homeschool? What if you don’t even know how to homeschool? Sweet friend, by the grace of God, if you desire to homeschool, it can be done! God never calls us to something and leaves us stranded. Trust Him to provide for all of your needs—financially, logistically, and educationally.

I polled a Facebook group (of over 350 single moms who homeschool) for some insight into how single moms afford homeschooling. And can I just say that I was humbled and amazed at the sacrifices these ladies make in order to homeschool their kids? Make no mistake, homeschooling is almost always a financial strain for families because there is only one income. When a single parent chooses to homeschool, things naturally get a little more complicated … but God specializes in the complicated! Here are just a few ways that He provides.

1. Child Support and/or Alimony

Of course, the first source of income we think of is child support. This is at least an excellent way to supplement your income, decreasing your own work needs. According to my single mom survey, 54% of homeschooling single moms rely on child support, making it the most popular form of income. We are lucky to live in a time when courts are getting far more strict with child support. Dads are being held accountable for financially supporting their children, and free agencies will even help you collect the mandatory child support.

Don’t be afraid to fight for what you need to take care of your kids. In most states, child support is a set formula. You plug in his salary, yours, number of kids, etc., and it spits out a number. If you are not getting that number, consider contacting your local child support enforcement agency. They will help you for free.

I’m well aware that this amount is generally not enough on which to live. Studies show that divorced women can expect at least a 40% standard of living decrease, and this includes the assumption that you are working outside the home. I know from personal experience the difficulty of moving to a smaller house, being in a less affluent neighborhood, and going from brand names to thrift store shopping. But I would encourage you to consider it all meaningless. I’m not saying it was easy, but I quickly learned what is truly valuable in life, which lessened the pressure monetarily.

We will talk about ways to save money and cut costs later, but for now, I would challenge you with this thought: The lower your cost of living, the less you will have to work, which of course translates into more smiles, hugs, and giggles from those sweet kids of yours.

2. Outside Support

There are many ways to get outside support for your homeschool journey. Nearly 14% of the single moms polled in my survey are living with family or friends. This is an excellent way to cut your expenses so you can homeschool. I know the idea of moving in with your parents likely doesn’t sound appealing for most, but for a season, it could allow you time to work on a business plan, build up some income, or even earn a needed certification/degree.

Another source of outside support is homeschool agencies such as the HSLDA. These agencies have resources for single moms, including scholarship funds. Don’t be afraid to seek these out and apply. You never know if this is the way through which God will provide for your family.

3. Government Assistance

This is always a sticky subject. As Americans, our country was founded on the principles of hard work and sacrifice. Not many people are in favor of the way government assistance programs look today, as so many abuse the system. Forget all of that. You are not that person. And it doesn’t matter what other people think anyway. Government assistance was created for people in times of need. At least at the beginning, you may need to rely on these programs for help. You might be interested in hearing that 35% of the single moms surveyed were using SNAP (formerly food stamps) services.

If you find that you need to use this service, don’t be ashamed. Some reports show that nearly 20% of our society (which includes two-parent homes) uses SNAP to supplement their food costs. I know for me personally, those first few years would have been impossible without it. I don’t know if I would have had the resources to create my business and grow it to sustainability without SNAP. Now my family doesn’t need that assistance, and someone else can benefit the way we did when times were the toughest.

Practically speaking, you can apply for SNAP at your local department of social services office; Google will help you find the information. Each state has different requirements, but most have an online application process which is rather helpful for single moms. The process can take 30-60 days, depending on the state, so don’t wait until your pantry is completely empty before you explore this option.

4. Employment

Single moms who desire to homeschool need to think outside the box when it comes to jobs. Most of us need one, but it doesn’t have to look the way it used to. Some moms work nights or off-hours outside the home and pay babysitters. Some rely on family members to help with childcare and/or the actual homeschooling. Many others work from home. Don’t be afraid to look into something that is totally unknown to you.

There is a multitude of resources on the web to help you. In fact, Real Ways to Earn Money Online is an entire site devoted to this topic. A popular site for locating jobs is Rat Race Rebellion. I also enjoyed this article titled “25 Real Jobs for Stay at Home Moms.” I keep track of all the ideas I run across on my Work at Home Mom Pinterest board.

Some questions to think about as you explore the possibilities for you: What are your skills, and how might you use those at home instead of in a traditional setting? Is there something you are qualified to do but have never pursued? What is your passion? Is there one thing that people are always saying you do well? If so, how can you use that talent to make money?

Creative Job Options

You may be wondering how it’s possible to homeschool when you have a full-time job, right?

It’s definitely possible to work full-time and homeschool your kids; check out this simple homeschool schedule for working moms for more ideas.

Here are some ideas to get you thinking about job options which would allow you to also homeschool:

• teaching nights at the university
• blogging, virtual assisting, social media work
• tax preparation in home
• licensed in-home child care
• private speech therapy in home
• professional organizing business
• direct sales such as Tupperware
• writing, ghostwriting
• web design
• party planning
• tutoring
• creating and selling products (Etsy, eBay)
• freelance editing
• massage therapy
• housekeeping for others
• music lessons
• newspaper carrier
• bookkeeping
• nurse or medical caregiver
• dog groomer
• retail sales
• customer service/call center rep

Now that you know there’s a myriad of opportunities available, let me share in detail what I have done and how you could do it too.

What I Do to Bring in Money

I remember very clearly the day I knew God wanted me to start a blog. And I’ll be honest, I thought He was nuts.

The storm had been raging in my home for over a year, and it seemed that despite any attempts or desires on my part, my husband was going to file for a divorce. This blog thing was the answer to a prayer I had been praying for nearly a year: “Lord, what am I going to do now?” Although I had a master’s degree in teaching, I hadn’t worked in 10 years. I had four children under six, one of whom was just a few months old. I couldn’t even dream of going back to teaching. It wouldn’t even have paid for the childcare. Not to mention, my two school-aged children had only been homeschooled, and there was already enough transition in our home. I didn’t want to add to the fire.

So, I had to choose to believe that God would indeed provide for us through this entity called a blog. The funny thing was I knew almost nothing about blogs. I had followed a few on homeschooling and family life. I even had my own little Blogspot blog where I shared pictures with my granny and the rest of my out-of-town family. But the idea of CREATING a blog was foreign. I mean, I felt like I was doing well most days to check email and figure out Facebook.

I had serious doubts that you could even make money with a blog. Sure, I had heard it was so, but I guess I couldn’t fathom it. Blogging or any other type of internet business was still a new enough concept that most people couldn’t quite grasp what it was. In fact, when I told people I was a blogger, it wasn’t uncommon to hear, “But what’s your real job?” Well, this is my real job now. It took me long enough to accept God’s idea of my real job, but I’m so glad I did.

Creative Cost Cutting

You know the saying, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” There are lots of practical ways to save money so that you can survive on a very limited income.

There’s no question that homeschooling as a single mom can be a drastic sacrifice, but most of us would say that giving up those new jeans or trendy haircuts will reap amazing benefits in the hearts of our kids. The list of ways to cut costs could never be covered here, but how about a few ideas to get you started?

• By far, one of the most common things I hear from single moms who homeschool is that they live with their parents. What a blessing to be able to split the costs of living! Perhaps this is an option for you.
• Look for free or cheap ways to obtain homeschool materials. Free Homeschool Deals is one of many sites with ideas. Many states have programs for materials. There are also foundations that provide scholarships.
• Coupon, bargain shop, and yard sale. Look for a site that does a lot of the work for you such as my two favorites: Southern Savers or Money Saving Mom. Can’t keep up with a website? “Like” a Facebook group that offers daily tips, such as Living on a Dime.
• Live without. Novel idea, huh? Seriously, there are so many things we think we need that are simply not necessary. (I am preaching to myself right now!)
• Ask a family member if you can be on his/her cell phone bill. This dramatically cuts the cost of your phone, and most people would love to help in this way.
• Sell your stuff. If you are done with it, sell it. eBay or Craigslist might be an option. I consign all of my children’s clothes, and that pays for their clothes for the next season. I have also learned to keep material possessions lean. I’ve kept a roof over our head for quite some time by selling the things that once seemed necessary, but now seem irrelevant. (Such as a TV!)

Allow Others to Help You

Even with child support, alimony, and a job, most single moms struggle to make ends meet. Some studies show that single moms live on 50-70% less than even women who are married but live on one income. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Consider asking for scholarships or reduced payments on things. Ask your church if they have a program to help. Most ministries have funds set aside to help single moms. I’ve gotten discounts to the zoo, on car repair, and even medical care (since I have no insurance). It never hurts to ask for help.

As I mentioned earlier, many single moms also find it necessary to use government assistance such as WIC and SNAP (food stamps). Again, we should not be ashamed to use this service. It was designed to help those who face hardship. I think we can all agree that single moms qualify … at least for a time!

If you have found yourself “suddenly single” or even if you have been there for a while, I hope you will be encouraged by the possibilities before you. Homeschooling will certainly be a sacrifice, but it’s a sacrifice that reaps amazing rewards. One day, those precious little hearts will be thankful for what you’ve given them!

Homeschool Planning Boot Camp

Have questions that still aren’t answered? I’d like to invite you to my FREE Homeschool Planning Boot Camp. Written by a single mom, this course has all the information you need to plan your school year to be successful.

Click the image below for all the details. In just 5 days you will be ready for your best homeschool year ever!

So you’ve decided to take the plunge and homeschool your kids even though you are a single mom. You’ve been over the reasons why you should homeschool (link to new post), and you’ve even got a plan for how you will afford it.

But you need support. Trust me, I get it. Being a single mom who homeschools is a VERY lonely road. You don’t just feel like you’re the only one, you probably are (I mean at least in your area anyway)! Thousands of single moms have gone before you on this, but the chances of actually knowing one personally are slim.

Don’t worry though, you don’t need a friend who knows your exact circumstances. You just need a friend! Here are some of the ways I’ve gotten support over the years.

Family

Maybe you don’t have to look far for support. Have you thought much about your family? I know family dynamics can be a tricky thing, but I also know we often fail to communicate our needs effectively. If you have any indication that your family supports you (and I bet there is at least a bit), think through what they might be able to do that would be most helpful to you. Perhaps you have an ongoing or even temporary financial need. Maybe your family could help with the homeschooling. I know many grandparents who homeschool part-time and even some who do it full-time. I even homeschooled my nephew for one year when he was in 2nd grade. Don’t hesitate to think outside the box.

My family lives 10 hours away, so they can’t be of much help with the day-to-day needs we have. However, we do visit them at least twice a year. During that time, they will often take the kids for a few days so I can catch up on a project or even have a little downtime. They also help with clothing needs since they enjoy doing that. My sister graciously allowed me to be on her cell phone bill for the first 5 years that I was single.

Church

Since I live so far away from my family, my church family is incredibly vital. If you don’t have a church family, finding one should be first on your list of things to do. Look for a church that isn’t too small but isn’t too large. You want a place that will take you in and love on your whole family. I’ve been at two different churches since my divorce. One was the original church our family had attended. It was actually a rather large church (5000 members). I felt at home there and enjoyed the close friendships I had already built. My friends were there to help when I had the baby, watched my kids several times when I was hospitalized, and even moved girls’ night to my house so I could participate when the kids were in bed. 

My church now is much smaller (about 1200 members). The kids get great teaching through Sunday school and the Wednesday night program. The nice thing about this church is that the teachers are always the same, so my children are building strong mentor relationships. We also have a very active homeschool group. This is very important to me because this is where my children get their much-needed friendships. This church has helped us move, donated clothing, food, and other necessities when I was out of work, and provided countless hours of counseling for FREE.

I know there is some hesitation for single moms when it comes to finding a church family. Trust me—when I moved to another state, I thought the church hunting was going to kill me. Be patient. I promise that God will provide if you wait on Him. But there’s another little issue we need to address. You will never build a relationship with your church family if you only attend occasionally and never invest. No one will know you, and you will find the whole experience to be useless. Go to church often and get involved. Sign up for homeschool events, be a part of a ministry, and introduce yourself to people. It may feel weird or even uncomfortable for you, but God will give you the strength you need to build these crucial relationships. Ask Him to help you! Your church family has a responsibility to support you as much as they can. Let them do it!

Homeschool Community

The homeschool community at large is another great place to find support. We participate in a local co-op that helps me in several ways. First, it is a drop-off program, so it gives me a few hours a week to work. The program teaches Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW), which is difficult to do at home, plus PE, music, art, and speech. My kids have made so many great friends, which has led to great friendships for our whole family. Yes, I know co-ops often cost money, but don’t let that stop you from trying. Perhaps ask your family to pay the fees as part of birthday or Christmas presents. If you need this kind of support, I think you will find the benefits outweigh the cost.

When my kids were really little, we created our homeschool co-op by getting together with friends and taking field trips. Here’s one of my favorites from back then!

Homeschool Associations and Conventions

When you are looking for support, don’t forget homeschool associations and conventions. The HSLDA has an amazing program for single moms. Their website contains great articles and resources to support your journey. In addition, they have a single mom fund which goes to help support single moms who desire to homeschool but need a little more income to do so. If you have not applied for this program, go ahead and do it today!

Probably the biggest blessing in my life has been a homeschool convention. When I first started homeschooling, I was already a convention junkie. I’ve actually been to over 15 conventions in the last 7 or so years. When I walked into Teach Them Diligently Convention, I knew that I had found a home. This convention is like no other. Their focus is missions and discipleship and it shows. Teach Them Diligently has a heart for single moms and has worked hard to create a program that will support and encourage you. Read more about why I love this convention here.

Here’s one of my favorite photos from the first time the kids went to the convention with me!

Ideas from the experts and the trenches, these creative consequences for kids will mean you’re never disappointed with the age-old “time-out” again.

After 13+ years of parenting, teaching 100’s of public school children, and reading more books than I can count, I feel confident in one thing. This parenting thing is HARD, ya’ll. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer for our parenting questions. I really thought there was. I believed the formula was the answer.

If you do these steps, your kid will turn out like “this.” You’ve probably heard some of these too…

If you, put them on a schedule…they will sleep through the night at 3 months.

If you are consistent in your training…they will obey the first time you ask.

If you conduct a potty boot camp…they will potty train in less than 3 days.

I have come to realize just how laughable this really is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of the above ideas. In fact, most of them have worked for me at least with some of my kids, some of the time. The trouble lies in our demanding that they work in all situations. And if we do that, we are ignoring the fact that children are humans. Natural born, flesh-filled, sinners (Romans 6:23). Even the best of us are prone to give in to momentary pleasures, throwing caution to the wind. Bottom line, there isn’t one consequence for kids that works every time.

So are we hopeless in the quest for getting our kids to do what we ask? Must we throw in the towel on respect and obedience?

Absolutely NOT!

But we might need to change up a few traditional practices if we want to see a change in our kids. We are going to need to get CREATIVE! Hopefully, you’ve figured out by now that kids are different. All of them. Between my four children and the numerous other children I have taught, I have seen everything from perfectionist to uninterested, compliant to defiant, thoughtful to manipulative, and calm to active. The list goes on and on and I certainly haven’t seen it all.

I need unique consequences for each of my kids and each situation will need some creativity. So let’s look at some creative ways to get to the heart of the matter and spur them towards that respect and obedience we so greatly desire as parents.

Start with obedience

Before we can even get to the business of giving consequences for kids for wrong behavior, we need to set the stage for obedience. Our kids need to know exactly what is expected of them and why. They also need to understand the importance of obedience, consequences of disobedience, and how/why we have authority over them to begin with. With little ones, this knowledge can wait, but if your child is over the age of 5, it’s time to make sure he/she understand these things before giving out consequences.

If this isn’t something you’ve done with your kids, click on the image below for tips and ideas to get the conversation started.

Create simple rules

Rules should be few and simple. You can’t create a constitution full of detailed circumstances because your kids will indeed come up with a new behavior not covered. Instead, make 1-3 simple rules that encompass the atmosphere you want to create for your family.

They can’t be too difficult to remember or too vague that they include loopholes. For a long time, my rule was simply LOVE. Quite some time ago, my friend Lara introduced me to her version of this concept…Love Up and Love Out. First, we love God and serve Him. Second, we love others through our love for God. I’ve used that saying ever since. After all, love covers a multitude of sins and this rule really does covers every offense in my home.

I might ask: How are you showing love in this situation? Is there something that you could do to be more loving? When you didn’t pick up that shoe on the stairs, do you think you showed love and concern for the well-being of your family who might trip over it?

The Bible says that the greatest commandment is love. Teaching our kids to put this at the foundation of their choices reinforces this truth and it helps kids to understand the importance of obedience.

Get creative with your consequences for kids

As much as possible, I avoid terms like “time-out” and “restriction.” For the most part, I have found that a blanket consequence for kids is ineffective in molding hearts and changing behavior. This is where natural and logical consequences come in.

A natural consequence will be administered without mom’s help. For example, a child runs on the sidewalk, trips, and skins his knee. Natural consequence. Ouch.

A logical consequence for kids is closely related to the offense and is aimed at teaching responsibility for your actions. This consequence is administered by a calm and collected adult wishing to help children make wise choices. They aren’t one size fits all and don’t even need to be the same every single time. The idea is to find something that hurts enough to change the behavior, leaving a related memory for next time the child considers doing the same thing. For example, if you take away a party with friends because a child leaves his bike in the snow, it’s not directly related and may not be effective. If you take away the bike- now we’re talking.

Whenever possible, I include scripture with consequences, but don’t beat yourself up about this and don’t preach a sermon either. I find that the best faith-based discussions are done when kids are not in the thick of trouble. In the moment they are focused on the consequence, guilt, and pain. If you lecture, kids might get defensive and it will be wasted. Save it for a time when there is no conflict.

Before you give consequences to kids

It’s vital that we evaluate the situation objectively before giving our kids consequences. The more level-headed we can be, the more impact it will have on their hearts. I ask my self 4 questions before giving a consequence. In the video above, I detail these questions. Here is a short summary.

—> Is this a sin against God’s law or an inconvenience for me?

—> Is this foolishness or childishness?

—> Do I desire to look good right now?

—> Have I given my kids the grace I expect to be given to me?

If we honestly evaluate those questions and still feel the child needs a consequence, it’s pretty safe to say that it’s not being given in irrational anger. Again, watch the video above for a detailed look at what each question means.

Creative consequences for kids

If you can’t find your shoes, mom will help you find them, but there will be a finder’s fee.

If you can not behave kindly toward your family, mom will assume that you need some time to think about it and send you to another room to sit (usually the bed).

If you fight with your sibling, I will assume you have nothing better to do and give you a chore.

After you are sent into a room to clean up, I come behind and take the items that were left out. I assume that you no longer want these items and place them in “toy time out” for a week. (Mom could also donate the items, if this is a chronic problem.)

If you are tipping your chair back, I will assume that it is unsafe for you to use it and you will stand for the remainder of dinner.

If you do not have good table manners, you will be asked to dine elsewhere.

If you are too loud, whiny, or speaking unkindly, you will lose the freedom to speak. (Works really well in the car, too.)

If you can’t get ready for an activity on time, I will deduct that amount of time from the activity once we get there. (Remember not to punish mom or the siblings because of one child’s negligence.)

A few creative consequences for kids from my friends...

If they play around instead of getting ready for bed, we don’t have time for stories. ~Christy

The kids weren’t diligent to do their schoolwork today so there wasn’t time to go to the library. ~Debby

Somebody ate his treat without permission so he did not get his treat later when everyone else was eating theirs. ~Julie

If teachers offer incentives for extra work or even situations like AWANA, I don’t nag them…I let them feel what it’s like not to get the reward or fun prize. ~Tiana

You splash water out of the tub, you wipe it up (works for any mess). ~Leslie

If you don’t eat what mama cooks you’re gonna be hungry! ~Amy

The rule is: We pay for half your car. We own the bottom half. If you’re being irresponsible, our half (the one with the wheels) stays home, in the driveway. ~Pam

We’ve set a “start-getting-for-bed time” and a “lights-out-time.” If they get ready fast, they can use the remainder to read. If they play around getting ready for bed, they can’t… the lights out time doesn’t change. ~Josh

I also don’t cap markers that were left uncapped. Dried out markers are no fun. ~Leslie

A few ideas from Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel…

About an hour before bed, have a whole house “clean sweep.” Set the timer for 15 minutes. For each item left out after the timer goes off, the kids go to bed 5 minutes earlier.

If you have forgotten to put away an item and it has been confiscated, you can buy it back for $1.00.

If a chore is not done diligently, have your child practice doing it over and over again. She will learn more from sweeping the floor 3-4 times because her first effort wasn’t done well.

If siblings can’t stop fighting, have them go the whole next day without the pleasure of each other’s company. They can’t talk, eat, play, or do school in the same room.

Creative consequences for kids printable

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Further help with consequences for kids

God is always just. There will be a consequence. Even if it never becomes obvious to us. Teaching your children that lesson now reaps great benefits both spiritually and physically. If you heard anything at all in this post, I hope you heard that parenting is not a one-size-fits-all activity. Some of these ideas might not work. Some great ideas were not even listed here. And most importantly, no one is speaking badly about any parenting ideas. Here in the trenches, we need all the help we can get.

Mom, you rock. You are loved and treasured even with peanut butter in your hair. Keep doing this thing.

Need help thinking of a consequence for kids when you are mad? Read How to think of a Better Consequence When You are Mad

Need toddler ideas? Read Parenting the Toddler Years.

If you’d like to lead your child through a Bible study on obedience, I wrote Obey to help us as parents teach our kids the how and the why behind obedience. I pray it blesses you in your parenting journey!

More posts about obedience

• Pointing a Rebellious Child to God
• Is Kid’s Time Out Effective
• 5 Tips for Your Disobedient Child
• Teaching Your Child the Importance of Obedience
• How to Get Your Kids to Stay in Bed
• How to Teach Your Kids to Stop Interrupting
• When Your Child Embarrasses You in Public
• 3 Christian Discipline Questions to Ask Your Kids
• How to Limit Screentime and Get Your Kids to Obey
• How to Get Your Kids to Listen

When I first became a single mom, everyone else had already made up their mind about my circumstances. I would have to get a job and put the kids in public school. There was no way to consider the idea of continuing to homeschool as a single mom. The consensus was that it would be impossible. And I almost listened to them on several occasions. But our lives had been turned completely upside down and the dread of another change was pretty much the motivating factor for continuing to homeschool those first few years.

Truthfully, it was nearly 3 years after he left before I made a conscious decision about whether or not this homeschool thing would work out. Prior to that point, we just prayed and God provided everything we needed. I did everything I could to stay out of the decision. But then one day all the legal mess was finally settled and I stared blankly at the numbers. No matter how you crunched them, I would indeed have to bring in some income. Plus, I had a serious time issue on my hands between homeschooling, mothering, managing the house, and bringing in that income.

This homeschooling thing was going to need a very strong backbone if I was going to drown out the naysayers and encourage myself to stand strong. So I wrote out my defense. Not really to prove my point. It was really for my own heart. It would serve its purpose as encouragement to my soul on those days when giving up single-mom- homeschooling seemed most logical.

Why I choose to homeschool as a single mom

1. Homeschooling gives you more opportunities to build family unity

I knew that in the long run it wasn’t money or things that kids desire; it was time. I had grown up with a single mom and I knew that time together would be scarce, making it harder to connect. I desperately wanted to know my kids, enjoy my kids, and disciple my kids. Time together as a family would always be more important than the extras, even if extras were particular types of food, brand-name clothing, larger houses, or a nice car. Homeschooling brought with it the promise of more time with my kids. I knew it meant I might have to hold a little one on my lap while I was typing. But to me that seemed so much better than sitting at a desk somewhere, typing, while that little one was in someone else’s lap.

Regardless of how it happens, kids who grow up in a home without their father have deep wounds. Their very identities are questioned and the unknowns set nightmares in their hearts. They desperately need family unity. They need God’s truths in their hearts and they need to be held. As the child of a single mom, I can tell you that extra time will not be found by sending the kids to school. We went to school 8 hours a day, only to return in the evening. When my mom got home from work, those evening hours were filled with homework, dinner prep, paying bills, and tackling that mountain of laundry. Quality time was scarce.

Yes, homeschooling will take time and energy, but a great homeschool curriculum can usually be done in less than 3 hours a day, leaving time for the children to help with chores and time for everyone to enjoy being together. Homeschooling your children will help foster much-needed family unity and begin to rebuild your children’s identities.

2. Homeschooling provides stability

Counselors agree that stability is a crucial issue for children experiencing loss (even if daddy just moved down the street). When children experience traumatic circumstances, stability becomes a necessity. If you were already homeschooling when you became a single mom, sticking with it will provide much-needed security for your precious little ones. If you were not already homeschooling, keeping them at home would be a change, but it can keep them from facing the changing tides of the school environment.

This was especially true for my family in those first few years. Homeschooling provided less disruption and the necessary stability for my children. They knew what to expect of their school day, even if they didn’t know if we would spend the afternoon in line at DSS or at a food bank. They knew they could depend on me to be with them every time they needed me.

3. Homeschooling shelters kids from bullies

Just read the news and you will be mortified by the stories of bus monitor bullies and the like. Kids are mean, and the school setting cannot provide the supervision to stop it. Do you know who those bullies are picking on? Children from a broken home are much more likely to experience bullying. They bring to the table far more issues to be made fun of, such as the lack of a parent, torn or tattered clothes, free or reduced lunches, and most likely a working parent who cannot attend school functions. Believe me, I am speaking out of personal experience here.

There wasn’t a single year of my educational career that I wasn’t picked on, even as early as kindergarten. I grew up absolutely terrified of people and without a single ounce of self-worth. I even seriously contemplated suicide multiple times as a teen. Please don’t be fooled into thinking that I am the exception. Countless stories have been told of such horrific experiences in school. Of course, homeschooling will not exempt your kids from this mean behavior (unless you hide under a rock), but it will drastically decrease it. Plus, the times when your children are with other children, the adult ratio is much higher, making it easier for parents to intervene when the comments get out of hand.

And if you still think that “sheltered” means awkward or “has no friends,” let me assure you it means protected from harm. Here’s a photo of my oldest on her homeschool graduation day with just a few of the amazing friends she’s made along the way. Trust me, we can all live without the bullies of the world.

4. Homeschooling allows you to take breaks when YOU need them

Homeschooling will give you the opportunity to step back from learning when your children are going through a hard time (or when you simply can’t get out of bed). When your heart hurts, it can be difficult to think about a math lesson. On tough days, we change plans and stay in bed with read-alouds or ipod apps. Even with taking off as many days as we needed, my kids recorded more than the required 180 days during that first school year after I became single. Had they gone to school, it is likely they would have fallen seriously behind.

5. Homeschooling gives your kids the opportunity to improve their character

There is one more benefit that I could not have imagined way back then. It was in the process of coping with the circumstances that my kids became very independent and very helpful. They are now willing to eat a little less to save money. They do laundry, dishes, and clean bathrooms. You name it, the chore is on their shoulders. They have risen to the occasion and found themselves a part of the family by their ability to contribute to helping us get by. 

Some would say my kids had to grow up too early, but I don’t really see it that way. They are still very innocent. They still love to play, and they have more time to do it because they don’t go to school. Instead of spending hours standing in line, sharpening pencils, and waiting for the teacher to discipline another student before she can begin instruction, my kids spend that time contributing to the household. It’s really rather beautiful. They are gaining skills which will be incredibly useful for their entire existence as adults, not just their academic life.

When you look at all these points, working from home and homeschooling my kids brings with it the benefit of time, money, and so much more. Yes, there are some negatives and very hard challenges that come with this choice to homeschool. We will get to those later in this book. However, I think the benefits far outweigh those negative elements. 

Believe me, I know what you are thinking and I agree with you. Yes, it is harder to homeschool when you are a single mom. No one comes home and changes diapers while you take a bubble bath to get away from it all. But the truth is, everything is harder when you are a single mom. It really doesn’t matter what activity you are doing, you now do it without help. Don’t buy the lie that you are not able to homeschool simply because he left. It is going to take some sacrifice. But being a good mom is always a sacrifice. We must daily choose to act on behalf of our children, often setting aside our own personal agendas.

Being a single homeschooling mom may be the ultimate sacrifice, but aren’t they worth it? Perhaps we could have a little more money if we worked outside the home. Perhaps we could find a job that isn’t as demanding. These thoughts might be reasonable, but they aren’t pointing us to the real truth. This life isn’t about what we can gain. This life is about serving the one who made the ultimate sacrifice for us.

Yes, being a single homeschooling mom is a sacrifice. But it is a sacrifice that I am willing to make—to train them up to be like HIM because I am but a vapor, yet the legacy I leave will last an eternity. Are you in?

If you are hung up on the financial part, click over and find out how a single mom can afford to homeschool.

But Can A Single Mom Homeschool Legally

I won’t lie and tell you I wasn’t afraid. I even personally knew someone who had lost the freedom to homeschool in her divorce. I was well aware that there was a possibility I would lose that freedom as well. I knew homeschooling was a privilege not everyone was afforded. I simply trusted God to do His good and perfect will in my situation. I had enough faith to believe (I mean REALLY believe) that if I was supposed to homeschool, He would take care of every detail, including the legal dilemma. And He did. 

I know you are wondering, too. I know you are praying and possibly even agonizing over this dilemma. It’s important that I remind you I’m not a lawyer. I would strongly urge you to seek legal counsel. Every dime you spend will be worth it. There are also places where you can get legal help without cost to you. Try contacting a local women’s shelter for help. But I can tell you what I’ve seen happen in general as I’ve walked alongside hundreds of single moms wishing to homeschool.

If you are already homeschooling when your marriage ends, it is very likely you will be able to continue homeschooling. Generally speaking, the judge will honor your desire to keep circumstances as normal as possible. Throwing the kids into school suddenly would not be in anyone’s best interest. They call this “keeping the status quo.”

If you are not already homeschooling, it is possible for the father to fight your desire to do so. Sadly, he has a good chance of winning. It probably doesn’t come as a surprise to you that our government isn’t too quick to defend anyone’s right to homeschool. (For the record, homeschool legal defense groups will not get involved in a civil matter such as this.)

In either case, it is best to work out an amicable agreement with the father. If at all possible, get permission to homeschool written in your legal agreement or divorce paperwork. Chances are, you can use this as a bargaining tool when you go to mediation. In my experience, not too many fathers expend the energy to fight this unless it somehow hurts them. This would be a good time to show how you staying home financially benefits him. For example, a full-time job outside the home would leave the children in after-school care which is rather costly. In most states, he will be responsible for a portion of that. I know that he should care more about the well-being of the children and their academic success, but sadly I don’t find that to be the case. I would focus on ways it would benefit him directly.

Legal matters aside, don’t discount God. If He has called you to homeschool, it doesn’t matter what the stats say or what your ex-husband says. It won’t matter if he says he will fight it. It won’t matter that you’ve never homeschooled before. It only matters that God can be trusted to do exactly what He said He would do (1 Thess. 5:24)! Don’t be discouraged, my friend. Keep pressing on!

Real, single, homeschool moms said

I thought I was the only one for many years. I thought it was impossible until I had no choice but to homeschool. Now, I cannot imagine it any other way. God has provided above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. The thought of my son being gone 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week is way too much. ~Kristie

If a mom feels led to homeschool, then just trust the Lord and follow Him! He will provide everything you need! It won’t always be easy, but your children are an eternal investment and your first ministry. He will bless you in ways you could never imagine. ~Jennifer

It IS possible to homeschool. There are other families that might be willing to school your child in specific subjects a couple days a week—to give you “work at home” time. ~Julie

Homeschooling as a single mom is difficult, but not impossible. I thought several times about putting my kids in public school, but didn’t really feel comfortable with that decision. Being a single mom, and especially homeschooling as a single mom, is made much easier with some support, whether it comes from family or church. ~Anonymous

My 10 and 11-year-old had such extreme behaviors I was called multiple times a week to school, and I rarely took them into the community because of worries about how they would act/react. Since homeschooling, we frequently go into the community because their behaviors have decreased immensely. ~Tammi

I used to run a full-time business from home. I homeschooled during that time. It is entirely possible for a single parent to work full-time and homeschool. Today, my teens are both succeeding in college. My 16-year-old has been offered university entrance, tuition-free. I don’t believe this is an isolated result of homeschooling. People who say single, working parents can’t homeschool are problem-focused, not solution-oriented. I say, be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. ~Anonymous

I worked full-time for a year and realized the toll it was taking on my kids’ education and how it increased the stress on our family, so I quit (there were other reasons as well). That year was the first time I had worked so much out of the home since 1988 (I have 7 kids). I decided that I would rather struggle financially (nothing new) than lose my kids just at the end of their homeschooling. We are now in a strange living situation, but I already see a big difference, especially in my 14-year-old. Homeschooling is worth it. ~Laure

This is my last month getting food assistance. I don’t like using government programs but I found it necessary while my children were younger. I also just finished college while schooling my children. If you have the desire to homeschool, you can do it. Pray for help and know that you are capable, no matter what others say. ~Anonymous

This was our first year homeschooling and I’m not going to lie and say it was easy. BUT, it was truly an adventure and we found out what works for us. I know what my daughter’s strengths and weaknesses are. I have to remind myself not to compare her to others. (I’m the only one out of all my friends who homeschools.) I love my life and all its struggles and glory! I thank God for giving me everything we need. It may not be a lot, but it is ENOUGH! ~Jen

The conversation was sweet and harmless. Ya know, the kind that gave no indication it would lead to a heart-wrenching conclusion. She asked, “Did you like us better as babies, or now?” I laughed and shared that each stage of a child’s life has a special thing to love, but she wouldn’t give up. “Will you still like us when we move out?” she continued.

I did what any mother would do and I joked about how fun it would be if we all bought a big ranch and built houses for their families there. What happened next was not at all what I expected. Her sister belted out, “Well, I had better get a husband first to help me build that house.” And she snapped back, “What? I don’t want a man. It’s not worth the risk. I can do it all on my own, like Mom does.”

My heart sank at the blatant lie. All at once I felt glad I was driving where no one could see my reaction, and yet anxious in knowing I was going to have to say something. An eternity of silence separated the next few moments. I wanted to tell her so many things, and correct what seemed like a million wrong things in that tiny statement.

I wanted her to know that this is not how God intended things to be and how He designed men and women to complement and help one another. I wanted to tell her that all people make mistakes, but that a godly marriage is worth the risk. Instead, I settled on the simple truth.

“Baby, I don’t do it all by myself. God makes up what is missing when things are broken.”

Oh friend, what a sweet truth that is! What a sweet blessing God has given us in the brokenness. Friend, you might not be a single mom, but I know you face challenges. I know your life faces the reality of a broken world. And I know you, too, sometimes feel like you are grasping to “get it all done.”

And I know you might also hear that silly question—the one I hear at least a few times every WEEK!

“How do you do it all?” The answer is simple. I don’t. 

Of course, I know that isn’t very helpful and I know that you know I have figured out some things to make this life thing run a little bit smoother. After all, if my kids think I can manage this on my own, it must not be as chaotic as it feels, right?

7 Strategies for Overwhelmed Moms

1. Don’t even attempt to “do it all.” You can’t. If life’s circumstances are crazy, you are going to have to let things go. This isn’t really negotiable. But remember, God gives us the grace and the strength to do everything that He wants us to accomplish today. Pray and ask Him what things you should lay aside.

I know for me, I had to let go of cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms by myself every day. I created chore charts to teach responsibility to my kids from a young age. Not only do they learn the value of hard work, but I also get more time with them. I promise, no child will ever think back about the amazingly clean house he had if he had an amazingly absent mama. My kids may not remember Mom standing over a kitchen sink, but they will remember the stories we read and the cuddling on the couch.

2. Get up before the kids. Believe me, I know tired. My 4th child gave me a run for my money when it came to sleepless nights. Plus, I was a single mom by the time he was born, so trust me when I say that I could sleep every day for a month and still feel tired! But I’m telling you, this one thing will make or break your day.

Even if I’m just up 15 minutes before my kids, I feel like I’m ready to conquer the world. When I wake up to them piling in the bed, or worse, fighting in the living room, the day is off to a not-so-wonderful start. Of course, part of this process is actually starting your day with God. I promise, if you give Him the first and best of what you have to offer, He will match that with grace and strength that you can’t even imagine! Need help getting started? Try the #NotConsumed Scripture Cards.

3. Start believing in the schedule. Every single time my life starts to get out of hand, it’s because we’ve gotten away from our schedule. Trust me, the schedule really changes things. I’m not saying you need to micromanage every five minutes of your life. You can work in chunks of time. That used to be my preference, but I’ve found that the busier life gets, the more detailed my schedule needs to be. These days we follow this schedule more closely.

4. Keep lists. You need every minute of your day, so why not budget your time? You can use those five minutes if you have a list ready with things you need to accomplish. Without a list, you will find yourself wasting those five minutes. I keep a list with three columns: things I can do in less than 10 minutes, things that need 30 minutes, things that need a few hours. Then when I find myself with a little time, I can easily use it instead of spending the whole time trying to think of what I need to get done. Don’t like paper? Go digital with To Do. It’s an app, plus it has a desktop version. I use it 100 times a day!

5. Have fewer things. I know this is a hard one. We live in a culture where we are constantly bombarded with messages and images that make us believe we need more. But we don’t. In fact, there aren’t many material possessions we absolutely have to have. I would challenge you to get rid of as much as possible.

In the course of my life’s trials, I have downsized over 2,000 square feet. In that time, I have gained another child and the other three are getting larger. Space is at a premium, but I’ve learned that less really is so much better. I truly enjoy the smaller house and I enjoy having fewer things. Plus, it’s not just about keeping things cleaner. It actually helps my children to have less. This begins with teaching an attitude of gratitude and finding godly contentment in the everyday. Start writing down your list of things to be thankful for today. We’ve got a free Thankfulness Printable Pack that you’ll love!

6. Multi-task. If you are no good at this, don’t do it. We want quality over quantity anytime. But I find that there are many things I must do in my day that are good candidates for this. For example, teeth brushing. It takes about three minutes twice a day. Seems like it wouldn’t help much, but it really does. I generally use this time to straighten the counter space in my bathroom, read something online (laptop), or even do a few squats. Also, I often call out spelling words while I’m chopping veggies for dinner or listen to someone recite a Bible verse while I wash dishes.

Don’t do anything twice that you can do once. What do I mean by this? It’s simple. Combine trips, meals, and ideas to make your life easier. On Tuesdays when my girls go to piano, the boys and I drive three minutes down the road to Publix and do our weekly shopping. That way I don’t drive home for the hour. It’s a waste of valuable time!

7. Do it on the go. There is nothing we can do about doctor’s appointments, piano lessons, and other activities that take us away from the home. However, there is no reason to waste this time. If we plan ahead, this can be a powerful tool for getting that to-do list completed.

When we have a doctor’s appointment, I will take a read-aloud and take care of that part of our school day while we wait. Many times my kids will bring some of their school with us so they can work while I talk to the doctor. It amazes me that so many people sit in waiting rooms with nothing to do. Bring a book you need to finish (or want to). I sometimes even bring my laptop and spend some time writing.

This photo of the parking lot that my son created on my back while I was writing is a fond memory of multi-tasking!

Your turn—> Which one are you going to try first? Remember, baby steps. Just pick one and get started! 

The A/C blasts in my face as I watch the brake lights in front of me. Cars are stacked in the drive-thru and wrap clear around the building. There isn’t a parking space to be found. You would think that perhaps there was a national shortage on chicken or something crazy like that, but it’s just another day at Chick-fil-A.

As I sat in line watching the near-empty parking lots of the competitors right across the street, I just smiled at the success that this business has had. And then I got to thinking…could I apply Chick-fil-A’s philosophies to my life? Could it be that Chick-fil-A has advice for new homeschoolers? Yes, I think so.

Advice for New Homeschoolers

It’s my pleasure

Regardless of how busy it is or how a customer behaves, the response from a CFA employee is always, “It’s my pleasure.” My homeschool should be the same way. It’s a pleasure to have this freedom. Even on the hard days when no one is listening or the baby colors on my new dress.

Rest on Sundays

Being closed on Sunday is a standard that defines the success of CFA. Am I willing to rest on Sunday? Putting family first will always bring successful results. I long to enjoy God’s day. To rest in Him, worship, and to worry about those lesson plans later.

Give generously

CFA is always the first to donate and support ministries. I want this to be a part of my homeschool. Who can we give to today? Does the elderly lady down the street need a meal? Does the church need some repair work? Perhaps the greatest advantage to homeschooling is the ability to integrate service to others into our daily lives. I don’t want to miss this.

Reading is a PRIZE!

Most of the time, kid’s meals come with a book. What an amazing prize! We are a privileged people in that we own even one book. Am I teaching my children that reading is a prize and a wonderful privilege? (See how to inspire a love of reading for ideas on how to encourage readers.)

Quality is worth the cost

I don’t think anyone would argue that CFA is an expensive fast food restaurant. Yet, again, we keep coming back. A large part of the reason for that is quality. I’m willing to pay a little more because it tastes good. And that’s exactly what my homeschool should be. I’m willing to do a little more because the benefit is good. While some days homeschooling is a daunting sacrifice, I must remember that it’s worth the cost.

Be clean and neat

One of the few restaurants that actually hires people simply to walk around and clean, CFA sets the bar high. I won’t eat in a dirty restaurant any more than I will school in a dirty room. If my space isn’t neat and organized, I feel overwhelmed or uninterested. Cleaning and organizing must be a priority. (Check out last year’s school area.)

Always make sure there is a place for play

My children know Chick-fil-A for their play places. It adds a little excitement into a seemingly mundane activity—eating. I want this excitement in my homeschool. How easily I can become trapped by the lesson plans and forget to enjoy. A valuable benefit of homeschooling is this freedom to simply play. To explore and create. May I not squelch that desire with a long to-do list or stack of worksheets.

Take requests

I’m picky and I love that I can ask for something specific at CFA and know that the employee will be thrilled to help with it. I want my children to have the same confidence—to know that when they express interest in a subject, I will try to make it a part of our studies, if at all possible. I want them to give feedback on what works about a book that I have chosen and when they are older, help me select from the various wonderful choices out there.

Train well

One of the most talked about components of the CFA business model is their manager and owner training. The corporate office relies on this training to set up every aspect of their business. Without it, everything crumbles. As a homeschool mom, I have the same need for training. In order to sharpen my skills, I need an annual convention full of ideas, mentors, and curriculum…such as my all-time favorite, Teach Them Diligently Convention.

Go the second mile

This was actually Truett Cathy’s number one business principle. You see it written all over the restaurant, from refilling drinks at your table to carrying trays for busy moms. Cathy challenged his employees to think beyond the first mile and go a second. How does this look in my homeschool? Am I just doing enough to get by or am I giving my kids the second mile? For me, going the second mile is about doing those little things that my kids love, rather than just doing what needs to be done to finish the book or topic. And, yes, paint is usually involved!

We hope you’ve enjoyed this fun way to introduce you to homeschooling, but seriously, here are some helpful links to get you started homeschooling.

Disclaimer: Chick-fil-A did not approve, endorse, or compensate me for the ideas in this post. It’s simply my fun way of offering up some helpful advice for new (or even not so new) homeschoolers. If you happen to work for Chick-fil-A, I hope you enjoyed it. (And if you feel so inclined, I’d love to have some pens. I know, silly request, but I love your pens.)

Need some step-by-step help planning your homeschool?

Click the image below to learn more about my FREE Homeschool Planning Boot Camp! In just 5 days, you will figure out your vision, determine schedules, choose curriculum, and so much more.

Not every child enters their school years with zeal. Some need more “encouragement” than others to inspire a love of learning. Sometimes we parents need a little help to know how to get our children to love school.

Me? I loved school from day one. I was that kid who counted down every day in the summer, super-excited about the start of the school year. I always went above and beyond in anything I learned. And I even stayed in college for two different master’s degree programs (although I came one credit short of finishing one).

It’s no wonder I became a teacher. Although I never thought about it at the time, becoming a teacher was one way to stay in the classroom forever. And I have. For 10 years, I counted down to the start of a new school year as a public school elementary teacher. And then I started counting down the days until I could homeschool my own children.

Over the years, I’ve noticed one interesting fact about school. Not everyone likes it. Can you believe the nerve? OK, truthfully, I can hear you snickering all the way over here at the thought that I didn’t even realize this. But I must admit that I have become increasingly aware of this in recent years.

Just the other day, I was driving a friend’s child somewhere and I asked him how school was going so far this year. He gave me this obligatory “fine, I guess” kind of answer. But it bugged me a lot. It was almost as if he felt like he had to say that. I asked him if he enjoyed reading and he began chattering incessantly about a book he recently read. After listening for a while I said, “Sounds to me like you love school.” He looked at me and grinned.

So let me ask you…don’t you want your children to actually LIKE school? Do you want them to graduate with a love of learning?

Maybe you are wondering if it really matters. I’d like to suggest that it really does. Let’s dig in to some truths about school and how we can help our children actually WANT to learn each day.

How to Inspire a Love of Learning

1. The love of learning starts with our attitude.

First off, what fun is life if we can’t enjoy every part of it? God doesn’t give us tasks to endure. He says to be joyful (Philippians 4:4) and thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18) in all things! Not having that attitude about learning is a lack of trust that He has provided for us graciously and according to His will. We need to be teaching our children this because a bad attitude now breeds a bad attitude later. Ever meet that guy who is never happy with his job? As a parent, we are doing our kids a disservice if we don’t help them stay out of that rut.

P.S. This includes your attitude, Mom or Dad. If you are counting down the moments until school is over, you aren’t showing your kids that the privilege to be educated is a wonderful one. Nor are you modeling the two verses I mentioned above. We inspire a love of learning when we maintain a positive attitude ourselves about learning.

2. Teaching them WHY we do school can increase their love of learning.

Have you ever done something that was assigned to you without knowing why it needed to be done? Of course you have. And I know it wasn’t nearly as easy as completing a task that held a purpose you understood. Bear that in mind when it comes to school. Of course we want our kids to be obedient and, yes, there are always going to be tasks we have to do without fully understanding their purpose in our lives. But learning is not really one of those. Let’s look at Proverbs 24:3-6.

By wisdom a house is built,
    and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled
    with all precious and pleasant riches.
A wise man is full of strength,
    and a man of knowledge enhances his might,
for by wise guidance you can wage your war,
    and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 24:3-6

Clearly, God has specifically charged us with the task of becoming wise through gaining knowledge. This is absolutely biblical knowledge, as God first wants us to know Him. But think about how this applies to the Christian life. We have two purposes: to know and enjoy God, and to share His love with others. How can we know God if we can’t read? How will we manage the blessings that He gives us if we can’t add or subtract? And how will we provide for our family if we don’t learn skills that will bring us to a trade to earn money?

In addition to those questions above, I also tell my children that if we are to share God’s love with others, we will need to be articulate and intelligent. Our argument will be far more compelling if we bring that to the table!

Now, I must remind us all that our children will need to be taught these things if they are to have a love of learning. We can’t assume that because we have now figured out these simple concepts, our children have also. They likely have not. And these truths are game-changers.

3. Don’t allow negative talk about school.

Have you ever been in the grocery store and someone says something like, “Aren’t you glad school is almost over?” to your kids? I bet you have. I used to let it slide. I pretty much stayed quiet and tried not to cause a scene in the store, ya know? But recently, God convicted me of this. Would you let the cashier say, “Hey kid, you are stupid and will never amount to anything!” without doing something about it? I know I sure wouldn’t!

So why do we let them put other trash in the minds of our kids? It doesn’t even make sense. Now, don’t hear me say that we should start verbally abusing well-meaning cashiers and family members who say negative things about school. But what if we came to the rescue of our kids? Perhaps saying something like, “You love school, sweetie, don’t you?” Leaving our kids in an awkward place isn’t ever wise, but doing it when someone is speaking negative things into their minds can be incredibly harmful.

And of course, this goes for talk at home, too. In our house, we are not permitted to say that we hate a particular subject or school in general. It is ok to say that we struggle with something or that some other subject is our favorite. We do have feelings. But we must remember that what we rehearse with our mouths is who we become. Negative talk about school will harm every ounce of motivation that we muster to enjoy it!

4. NEVER EVER punish your children with school.

This one is a matter of consistency. If we are sending the message that school is joyful, that we are thankful for it, and that it’s a wonderful privilege, I don’t think we can get away with punishing our children with extra school work. It’s complete hypocrisy and they will smell it a mile away.

Not to mention, if you need a consequence for inappropriate behavior, it’s far better to assign one that is logical (fits the crime) and more likely to help you get the results you are looking for. If your child isn’t completing work well, that would be the only time I would consider using school as a consequence. It only makes sense that if you don’t do your work well, you will need to do it over again. If the issue is not completing work on time, assigning more work isn’t going to fix that problem. Instead, try setting a timer and/or taking time from desired activities like outside play or screen time.

5. Help them see the benefits of learning through homeschooling.

Whenever there is a snow day, we always do homeschool. As my kids got older, they started to understand that children who went to school had the day off when it snowed. What they didn’t understand was we took advantage of a freezing cold day to have school so we could go outside and enjoy life in May. Since we live in an area where school is mostly canceled for ice and not the fun fluffy stuff that makes snowmen, this was a no-brainer to me. But my kids needed some explanation.

Don’t neglect to remind your kids that you went to Disney in October when the schools were in session, so your lines were shorter. Or that school is over by lunch (2pm, or whatever time) while the other kids are still in school and toting homework home. Also, remind them that homeschool affords them the opportunity to pursue their interests and to work on their level (rather than being frustrated with things that are too easy or too hard).

I must leave a disclaimer on this one as my kids have never been eager to hop on the next yellow school bus that zips by. I’ve not had to work hard to convince them of the blessings of homeschooling. Those reminders are more for me (as some days it seems easier to pack a lunch and ship them off). But if your kids do struggle with this, be sure you remind them of the benefits!

6. Allow them to learn about things that interest them.

As I mentioned above, one of the blessings of homeschooling is being able to pursue things we love! Last year I fell into the rut of trying to force a particular curriculum that wasn’t working. It almost killed our homeschool. (Read about it here.) The frustrating thing for me was that I knew better than to do that. Education is learning about things that fascinate you. It doesn’t matter if you study butterflies or The Civil War, the process of learning about something is what your kids need to know. They can then use that process to learn just about anything they need to know in life.

Of course we need to learn to read, write, and do math. But who says we have to read about things that bore us? Who says your nine-year-old son can’t write an essay about hot rods if that’s what really excites him? Think outside the box and come up with ways to meet the skills they need while giving them the tools they need to learn. Find more resources about this in my how to homeschool post.

One way I’ve done this is to develop my own reading curriculum that allows my daughter to pick any book her heart desires. Yes, it has been the saving grace from that near-epic homeschool failure I mentioned.

I also allow my oldest to pursue knowledge about horses. She is absolutely smitten with them and, on her own, will dig deep into scientific books about equines, as well as write beautiful stories about them. How can you not call that education?

7. Find out how they learn best and accommodate for their struggles.

Hopefully this one is a no-brainer. But I must admit that sometimes I forget to do this. Take, for example, math. Remember that near-epic failure I mentioned? It started with reading, but then crept into everything. I was reminded that in public school, children who are not strong readers are given assistance with math problems on tests and quizzes. They are not supposed to be penalized for not being able to read the math problem. The test is about math, not reading skills.

But I wasn’t thinking about this in my homeschool. Then, I switched my child who struggles more with reading to a math program that reads to her (on the computer) and guess what? Four weeks into school and she has an A average, no tears, and has actually said that she loves math. Now math is only math and reading isn’t getting in her way.

Of course, this applies to any subject. Do some research on how your child best learns and accommodate for their struggles. You’ll be shocked at the difference it makes in their love for school.

So, what do you think? Is there something listed that you haven’t thought of? How have you tried to inspire a love of learning in your kids?

I’d love to help you lay the foundation for a love of learning your homeschool. Click the image below to learn more about my Homeschool Planning Boot Camp! In just 5 days, you will figure out your vision, determine schedules, choose curriculum, and so much more.

It was 2am and darkness blanketed more than just the lonely hotel room. As sleep teased my exhausted heart, the light from my phone illuminated the moment. The message was as long as it was heavy, making the tears difficult to push back.

“My greatest struggle is I don’t feel like I’m enough. My track record proves the truth; I’m not successful enough, not a good enough parent, not attractive enough…I’m not enough to ever be loved”

I’ve thought about those words for weeks now. Crafting a response to my friend that night was difficult because every one of those fears was a lie in my eyes, and yet every one of those fears was true in the world’s eyes. The measure of success, attractiveness, and parenting ability was something my friend had indeed failed at…if we are letting the culture decide.

And to be honest, I’ve tried the relationship thing, too. People put standards of “lovable” on each other that most of us truly never could live up to.

As I fumbled for a response, the text message stirred up something in me I had worked so hard to conquer, and that night I too gave in to the lies. Together we wallowed in a sea of “not enoughs.” Maybe you have felt some too…

Not pretty enough
Not tall enough
Not thin enough
Not smart enough
Not successful enough
Not patient enough
Not creative enough
Not a good enough parent
Not educated enough
Not talented enough
Not organized enough

The reality was heavy on my heart that night. In this cookie cutter world, all of those things might be true about my friend. About me. And maybe even about you. We’re not enough to compete with airbrushed bodies, Martha Stewart kitchens, or even the mom next door. Given the list, we will always fall short somewhere.

But what if God never wanted us to live in a cookie cutter world? What if God has a completely different set of standards for His “list”?

Ok, it’s not so much a “what if” question. Do you realize that? God has absolutely NO INTENTION of us living in a cookie cutter world where the “enoughs” are defined by a culture that has little desire for the things of heaven. Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever considered how we look at ourselves and create a list of requirements that doesn’t even line up with what God wants for us?

Usually we rehearse a few verses to remind ourselves that God says we are enough and then we go to bed feeling only a tiny bit less defeated. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea to quote verses or to remind ourselves that God says we’re enough. Both are important, but it’s only a temporary band-aid. If we want to stay out of the gutter of “not-enoughs” we have to change the way we think about what it means to “be enough.”

What the Bible says about “being enough”

1. You’re not enough. (That’s the hard truth.)

First we need to clear up something super important. WE AREN’T ENOUGH. We never will be and we weren’t created to be. God created us to depend on Him for everything. Alone, we are sinful, wretched people, capable of nothing good. Even our best attempts are filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). We can’t do anything of value without Christ.

So, we’re not enough.

This might sound horrible to you, but it’s actually a blessing. It’s a relief. We don’t have to even try to be “enough” because God already has that covered for us. It’s His job. It’s not our job to be perfect parents or the answer to our spouse’s deepest struggle. We need to leave that stuff up to God. We are simply vessels for His use, not the answer to people’s problems.

2. God uses both our successes and failures.

Nearly every single person mentioned in the Bible was a tragic failure. Have you ever considered that? David murdered and cheated. Jonah ran. Elijah couldn’t hold himself together. Peter denied Jesus. Paul persecuted Christians.

The list goes on and on. The trouble is, we focus on the good stuff these people did. We focus on their successes and victories. Know why? Because the Bible is written to help us do just that. It’s the perfect reflection of exactly how God sees us…not as the summary of life’s failures, but as the success of His mercy and grace.

Psalm 145:14 reminds us that God upholds us when we fall. Like He did with each of the people in the Bible, He uses our mistakes and failures to teach us more about Him, to show His mercy, and to encourage others as they find themselves unable to measure up.

No one in the Bible was “enough” by our culture’s standards. Their list would have been much longer than the one I made above. Moses wasn’t a good enough speaker. Gideon wasn’t a good enough soldier. Eve wasn’t a good enough wife or mother. And it’s a good thing, too. Because if any of these people had “been enough” we would likely be tempted to look to them instead of looking to the cross.

That’s why it’s important that we as Christians never fall victim to the push to be enough. The people around us will always find disappointment in what we can offer them, but they will find God to be enough for their every need, want, and desire. If we attempt to be enough for them, we rob them of the blessing of finding God to be enough.

3. God uses both strengths and weaknesses to show His glory in our lives.

If there is one lesson I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older, it’s the beauty of both our strengths and weaknesses. I know we think we were all created the same, but it’s not true. We are all of the same value to God, but that doesn’t mean we all look, feel, think, act, or are gifted in the same ways. As a Christian, this is truly a huge relief. Why? Well, we don’t have to do it all or be everything to everyone.

God makes it clear we all have different roles in the body of Christ. Some are better teachers and some are better at coming alongside you with support. I’m sure you’ve noticed this. I’m one of those people who is much better at teaching or leading than I am at supporting someone in a compassionate way. For years I fought this and felt guilty about it.

I used to pray that God would make me into one of those compassionate types. You know, the ones who always remember your granny is in the hospital and are the first to reach out to help when you need it. I knew people around me who were so good at this and felt sure I needed to grow because clearly I was awful at it.

But over the years, I began to see that God didn’t gift me that way. It’s not that I don’t care. OH, I DO CARE. I just don’t see the hurts and needs the same way others do. I have to work very hard to remember even my close friends and ask about their problems because my natural bent, the things God created me to be good at, don’t include that “caregiving” type compassion others are blessed with.

I’m not saying I shouldn’t try my best, only that I shouldn’t try to be what God created someone else to be. It’s ok if I’m not as compassionate as someone else. It’s taken me most of 40 years to come to a place where I can say (in my right mind anyway) that I am still enough. Even though compassion isn’t my top quality, God gave me other things and I’ve learned to appreciate those things and use them for HIS glory.

My friend, that’s what life is about. It’s not about being like your friend, neighbor, or that person who seems to have everything right. We aren’t cookies made to live on display. We are creations of a Holy God who intends to get His glory by using both the strengths and weaknesses in our lives to show Himself faithful to others.

It’s where our own abilities and efforts end that God can truly shine through us in a way that impacts those around us.

I love this truth. I also love the freedom it brings us. Instead of beating ourselves up over what we never will be, we can focus on what we are naturally good at and ask God (and others) to help us in those places we are not as strong.

This isn’t a sign of weakness, failure, or a good reason not to have a relationship with another person. It’s the beauty of the body of Christ. When we LEAN on the people around us who are gifted in those areas where we are tempted to fall back into the “not-enough syndrome,” we allow their gift to bless us and everyone has a secure and needed part in the family of God.

What to do when you feel like you’re not enough

The first thing you can do when you struggle with not feeling like you’re enough is to go back up and remind yourself of the three truths I stated above. Write them down in your journal or on a notecard.

Do whatever it takes to remind yourself that you don’t have to be enough. You don’t want to please the world’s standards anyway, and your weaknesses/failures are the very thing God uses to show Himself faithful to others around you.

Reprogramming this way of thinking takes time, so go over those truths often. Every time you start to go down the wrong path, pull them out and speak them out loud several times.

Yes, I really want you to speak them out loud. When we proclaim God’s truth out loud, the enemy shudders. The strongholds he wants to claim over our mind can’t stand up to our verbal declaration that those things are lies, so keep at it until it’s no longer something you struggle with.

The second thing you absolutely have to do is guard your heart against “band-aids” that won’t fix the problem. I’m reminded of an old country song I listened to in my teens. The lyrics claim, “One good love erases all.” Ha. What a crazy lie. You can’t cover up your past hurts or failures with other people, better situations, money, drugs, sex, chocolate ice cream, or anything else you might medicate with.

Only God erases all. Everything else is a band-aid that will fall off, leaving you exposed once again.

I wish I could tell you the whole story here, but let me promise you I’ve bought these lies and know first hand that no man will make you “pretty enough.” No amount of money will make you “successful enough.” All of those things fail in time. God is the only one who will never EVER fail you.

Scripture for when you feel like you’re not enough

• Deuteronomy 7:6 – For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.
• Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
• Psalm 139:14 – I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

These promises are for you and they are 100% true. We’ve included a printable for you to hang somewhere where you will see it often and remember: through Christ’s love, you are more than enough.

Print out this verse printable to meditate on when you need God’s reminder of who you are to Him. Frame and place it in your house in a spot where you will be reminded daily. Put it in your purse. Hang it on your fridge–whatever it takes to remember the promises that He has given you. If you aren’t struggling with this right now, just file it away for when you are. I know that in my life, these kinds of feelings can creep up even when I least expect them.

I would suggest printing this verse on 8.5 x 11 cardstock as it will be more sturdy.

If you are unable to see the form above, please turn off ad-blockers and/or open using a different browser.

Lastly, I would encourage you to bask in God’s truth—that’s the Bible. It’s not anything I’ve said here or anything friends, counselors, or pastors will share either. You have to personally know what God says and what He thinks concerning you. I’ve included some verses to start with in the printable. Look them up and mark them in your Bible.

MORE WAYS TO CLING TO HIS PROMISES:

I have created these #NotConsumed Scripture Cards as a way to help you meditate on Scripture daily. These inspirational cards are prayerfully curated promises from God’s Word that will support and encourage you as you seek to trust God with life’s moments. Click here to find out more.

Your turn—> Share your favorite verse or tip for others who feel like they’re not enough. Let’s build each other up!

“I read the text message again and the knot sinks deeper into my stomach. My arms tingle with hysteria and tears invade like a vicious summer storm. After nearly 4 years of crashing waves, you’d think I could stand up in the safety and protection of my Savior, knowing that I’m in the “shallow end” of His peace.

But I don’t. I sink deeper under the waves and give in to the pressure of the circumstances. The tears stain. The words etch searing scars into my heart.

It’s a familiar place. The one I cling to when waves crash disaster onto all that I want to be “normal.” The place where my knees buckle weakly into the foam of despair and brokenness.

But it’s a desperate place of slavery—my personal Egypt. I’m much like those Israelites…clinging to the slavery of what is known (no matter what the cost) and forgetting the promises of my loving and merciful Savior. In the waves of the storm, I can’t see all that God has promised and I long for what was before.

Never mind that it was a false security…it still allures me with empty promises of stability.”

I read that old entry in my journal a few days ago. In some ways, it’s hard to believe how far I’ve come on this journey. And in some ways, it’s easy to see that I can slip back into that same place of not remembering.

Maybe I’m the only one, but I often find myself feeling a little discouraged about the circumstances of life. Sometimes it’s my own fiery trial. Sometimes it’s a little thing like dog poo in the living room or Captain Crunch ground into the carpet. Whether it seems like the daily life of motherhood is overwhelming or that life is unfair, we all need a promise.

The good news is God gives us a lot of amazing promises in His Word. And He commands us to remember them. Have you ever read the story of when those Israelite children crossed over the Jordan into the promised land? After all they had gone through, God asked them to specifically create a memorial so that they would never forget His promises. (Read Joshua 4.)

I’ve got to think that if it was possible for them to forget the parting of the Red Sea, the parting of the Jordan, the provision of manna every day, and the fall of the wall of Jericho, I probably have no chance of remembering His promises to me. I must write them down and read them often.

How about you? Do you find yourself needing this reminder as well?

Scripture For When You Need A Promise

• Philippians 1:6 – And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
• Deuteronomy 7:9 – Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
• John 10:27-28 – My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Print out this verse to meditate on when you feel like giving up. Frame and place it in your house in a spot where you will be reminded daily. Put it in your purse. Hang it on your fridge–whatever it takes to remember the promises He has given you. If you aren’t struggling with this right now, just file it away for when you are. I know in my life, these kinds of feelings can creep up even when I least expect them.

I would suggest printing this verse on 8.5 x 11 cardstock as it will be more sturdy.

If you are unable to see the form above, please turn off ad-blockers and/or open using a different browser.

More Scripture Encouragement

These #NotConsumed Scripture Cards are prayerfully curated promises from God’s Word that will support and encourage you as you meditate on His Word daily and seek to trust God with life’s moments. Click here to find out more.

It was the 3rd time we had moved in a year and my heart was weary.

I sat there on a floor barely visible under the mountain of moving boxes. Girls were bickering over which side of the room to put their things. The $3 in my wallet wouldn’t even cover a to-go pizza, and then one of the boys scratched himself on a box.

Suddenly all the little things came crashing down on me in a tidal wave of hysteria.

I cried. For a really long time.

I knew that God was good and He was working in our situation. I trusted Him fully in that moment, but I was tired. This doing-it-alone thing was wearing on me. There was only one word to describe the way I was feeling: overwhelmed.

What was I supposed to do next?

Should I unpack the kitchen and hope to find the right things to make food before 10pm?

Should I break up the fight in the girls’ room?

Should I rummage desperately for a band-aid to “cure” the box wound of my 3-year-old?

What about my computer? Shouldn’t I check in on my newly formed online business?

The questions left me debilitated. Instead of at least acting on one of those things, I sat. The tears kept falling and I just melted in a pool of overwhelm. Until one of the girls appeared. She looked puzzled at the tears and inquired, “Mama, don’t you like the new house God gave us?”

It was such a sweet reminder of where our focus should always be. Overwhelmed? No problem. God’s got this. Just be thankful and wait for Him. Meditate on His Word as a reminder of all that is in His control for you!

Scripture for When You Feel Overwhelmed

• 1 John 4:4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
• Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
• Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
• Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
• Psalm 28:7 The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Print out this verse to meditate on when you feel overwhelmed and need God’s comfort. Frame and place it in your house in a spot where you will be reminded daily. Put it in your purse. Hang it on your fridge–whatever it takes to remember the promises He has given you. If you aren’t struggling with this right now, just file it away for when you are. I know in my life, these kinds of feelings can creep up even when I least expect them.

I would suggest printing this verse on 8.5 x 11 cardstock as it will be more sturdy.

If you are unable to see the form above, please turn off ad-blockers and/or open using a different browser.

God remains the same no matter what, even if we aren’t quite sure what He’s doing. He can be trusted. His Word is true. Let’s be found standing firmly on it!

More Scripture Encouragement

These #NotConsumed Scripture Cards were created to help you meditate on Scripture daily. These inspirational cards are prayerfully curated promises from God’s Word that will support and encourage you as you seek to trust God with life’s moments. Click here to find out more.

I get it. You’ve tried EVERYTHING to get your lazy kids to help around the house. You want responsible kids who take initiative, work diligently, and help lighten the load. After all, you’re just one person and you can’t do it all!

My friend, I can so relate. In fact, every parent ever can relate to this struggle. We’ve all got lazy kids, just like you do. Welcome to the family.

Before we get to some practical help, let’s size up the problem. Our lazy kids aren’t exactly alike but see if you can relate to these “characters”…

The slamming door sends a bolt of disgust throughout the entire house and everyone knows. Mom must have asked Bad-attitude Bart to unload the dishwasher again. As he storms down the stairs, he will indeed do the chores Mom asks him to do, but not without making sure everyone in the house is well aware of how much he DOESN’T want to do them.

His sister, Complaining Claire, would never be so rude. She doesn’t slam things or stomp around. She is just “living a horrible life.” You’ll find her in the kitchen complaining about why everyone uses so many dishes on the days when SHE has to do them, but never on the days when Bart does.

Good Enough Gary doesn’t pout or puff. He does the task, but always leaves out just a few details, figuring it’s “good enough.” You’ll also find his folded towels still laying on the counter. I mean, you didn’t say to put them away too, did you?

Good Enough Gary and Sloppy Susan are twins. Where Gary does a job “most of the way,” Susan does it sloppily. She puts the towels away, but they are crammed into the closet. She will mop the floor, but misses several spots and forgets to put the mop bucket away.

Everyone thinks they are better than their brother Excuses Eric though. At least they actually DO what Mom asks them to do. Eric just looks for ways to get out of it. “I need to finish my math,” he reasons. “I did it last time” and “We don’t have enough soap” are two of his personal favorite excuses.

His sister Distracted Daisy would never make excuses when she’s busy; she just asks Mom to hold on. It’s true that she often gets so distracted with all the things she’s doing and never quite makes it in to do her chores, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Forgetful Frank has a good heart. He wants to be helpful, but it’s hard. He leaves his bike in the driveway, never remembers to do his laundry until he is out of underwear, and literally forgets everything, even when Dad reminds him 19 times.

Thank goodness for Perfect Priscilla. She never forgets, never does a bad job, and hasn’t once slammed a door. All the siblings know that she’s so perfect. You can often find her walking around the house taking notes of where everyone else has gone wrong. She will even do a chore over again because no one else can do it right.

Last, but not least, we have Martyr Mary. She has to do everything because no one else will do it. She sweeps, cooks, cleans, irons, folds, and even walks uphill nine miles in the snow to do it all. She’s always making sure everyone knows how exhausted she is from taking on their work. She’s so busy doing, she barely notices ways that others could or would help her.

The real problem with lazy kids

Did you see your kids in those characters above? If you’re like me, your kids are a mix of several of them. Oh, and you might feel a little convicted about your own habits too.

Work is hard. That’s no suprise to anyone. We’ve come to expect that and we’ve come to hate the fact that we have to do it. Plus, work gets in the way of the more important things we want to do in life.

This is the problem.

We’ve gotten work all wrong. We’ve believed a lie about work and it’s keeping us from raising responsible kids.

Of course, as much as I hate to admit it, the blame falls on us parents. We have painted the perfect picture of the drudgery of work. And then we turn around and blame our kids for being lazy when we ask them to help.

Do you see the irony here?

Imagine it this way. I tell you both in words and actions all about my HORRIBLE root canal. Maybe you even sit by my bedside with soft foods and pain meds while I wallow in pain, telling you how it’s the worst thing that has ever happened to me. One month later, it turns out you need a root canal. What would you think if I told you it wouldn’t be that bad?

Ha! Your mind would immediately go back to the horror I expressed when I experienced the same thing. You’d likely do ANYTHING possible to get out of that root canal, wouldn’t you?

I know I don’t need to answer that, and yet sadly I’m just as guilty as you are! Here’s the truth:

The MOST IMPORTANT thing we can do to help our kids become responsible instead of lazy is to MODEL a healthy view of work for them!

We have to change the way we talk about work and the things we believe about work so they line up with God’s Word!

5 truths to transform lazy kids into responsible kids

If we want our lazy kids to become responsible kids, we have to change the script. Throw out the negative narratives about work and teach the truth. Here are a few things to get you started:

1. Nothing in life is free. Everyone must contribute in some way.

We typically figure this out as adults, but it leaves us jaded. Have you ever thought about why? What if we were taught from a young age that NOTHING is free? What if we were taught that we need to contribute in some way in order to fulfill our purpose?

I challenge you to change this narrative for your kids. Everyone works. It’s not a horrible awful thing. It’s not abuse. It’s actually fun if you choose to see it that way. But even if you don’t, we need everyone to pitch in to get the job done well.

The word chores has such a negative meaning, but you can change that! Make chores a fun, meaningful, and memorable part of your family life. I have developed a great chore chart idea here that everyone will love!

2. Good enough is not enough.

I think this is one of the most dangerous attitudes we can take about anything in life. What if you had open heart surgery and the surgeon only put two stitches in then clapped his hands together and said, “That’s good enough!”

We all KNOW that would be a huge problem. We expect our heart surgeon to be excellent. To literally do the best possible job he could.

You might argue that not everything in life is as important as heart surgery, and that’s why we don’t give it all the same amount of effort. But is that really true? Can you really say that saving your physical life is more important than saving your spiritual life?

Here’s one truth I teach my kids:

Think about that for a minute. When every single choice you make changes you, then you are either becoming something you want to be or something you don’t.

There is no middle ground. The choice to do the job half-way is becoming a part of your character whether you admit it or not. So who do you want to be–a person of excellence or a person who is good enough?

Whatever your hand finds to do,
do it with all your might. Ecclesiastes 9:10

Maybe the bigger question would be what message are you sending to others when you don’t do excellent work?

3. Doing something with a bad attitude ISN’T better than not doing it at all.

At the time of writing this post I have 4 teenagers. Trust me when I say that I KNOW bad attitude. Teenage hormones and swirling life circumstances can make it hard to believe it’s possible to have a GOOD attitude sometimes.

As parents, we may often find ourselves letting the bad attitude go if we at least get obedience out of our kids. I’m guilty of this for sure. At least they did something, right?

Wrong! God has a pretty clear message to send about bad attitudes. Remember Moses who led the people out of slavery in Egypt? He put up with their complaining and bad attitudes for 40 years while they wandered the wilderness. Did you know that Moses didn’t get to go into the promised land?

It was ALL because of a bad attitude. God told him to tell the rock to give water for the people. Moses chose to strike the rock out of anger because he was fed up with them! (Believe me, we would have been, too.) But there is something interesting to see in this story. Read the words of God’s accusation:

And the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” Numbers 20:12

Ouch. Notice any mention of the rock? God saw right through Moses’ bad attitude into his heart. You see, often when we don’t do something it’s because we don’t believe we should have to. Perhaps we have a different agenda, or maybe we think someone else should do it. Either way, we doubt that God’s way of doing things is best.

We need to believe that work is the perfect gift from our perfect God and we need to show that by having the right attitude as we do it.

4. Use strategies to help you become more responsible.

So you hear my plea and you’re ready to help your lazy kids become more responsible, but you have NO IDEA how to start. Trust me, the practical side of raising responsible kids is not lost on me. I know it’s just plain hard to be diligent.

Our flesh gravitates to lazy. The world feeds that laziness with its lies. For our kids, the idea of being responsible is not at all attractive, much less easy.

Take heart my friend! It’s not easy, but it’s simple. I’ve outlined 10 strategies for helping your kids develop good work habits and work unto the Lord here.

Remember, most things in life are taught. Kids don’t just become responsible. They actually don’t just become lazy either (although it’s far more likely). They become what they see. They become what is expected of them!

Take action now and teach your kids HOW to be responsible instead of lazy! We can take pride in our work because our work is unto the Lord.

5. We don’t work for men, but for God.

Speaking of working unto the Lord, let me conclude this post with that reminder. You’ve probably read the verse:

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.
You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

You can read more about what it means to work unto the Lord here, but let me give you a quick summary. Our work isn’t for others. It’s not even for ourselves. We aren’t working for that beloved paycheck (although it’s nice to get).

We work for God. We work for His glory. We work for His purpose in our lives. We work to learn. We work to grow.

If we can get this right, work will not only be easier, it will have deep purpose!

If you’d like to help your family see God’s purpose and plan for work, we can help with this Bible study! Work Unto the Lord is a 20-lesson deep dive into exactly what we need to know about:

• where the idea of work comes from
• how God uniquely designed us for work
• how work is a gift from God
• how God tells us to work
• how God uses work to grow us

Kids and good work habits have a reputation for NOT fitting well together. Check out these 10 strategies to teach your kids to work unto the Lord. It’s time for a change!

Have you ever noticed that everyone in the Bible worked? From shepherd boys to kings, work was a part of life in Bible times just as much as it is now. It was also a central part of Jesus’ life here on earth (see John 5:17).

He healed. He provided food. He taught.

Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me
and to accomplish his work.” John 4:34

I love this verse because it shows us the attitude Jesus had about work. He didn’t wake up every morning and grumble, “can’t believe I have to do this” under His breath. His very sustenance, the thing that kept Him going, was to be able to do the work of God.

The trouble is, what we believe about work has been marred by the world so much that we don’t actually know what God said about work!

What does it mean to work as unto the Lord?

The Bible has a lot to say about work, but there is one thing we really need to know when it comes to teaching kids: We are called to work unto the Lord.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,
knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.
You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

This means whatever kind of work we are involved in (a career, mothering, schoolwork, volunteering), we are to do it as if we are doing it directly for God–like He is our boss!

In the next section, we will break down exactly what that looks like and how you can help your kids work unto the Lord, but just for a minute allow this to sink in.

Can you imagine how well people would work if they actually worked as unto the Lord? (Let’s just say McDonald’s would blow our minds.) People would actually serve others well, with the right attitude, and without complaining. Sounds like heaven, right?

People who work unto the Lord…

• are others-focused
• do things with excellence
• take initiative
• work diligently
• have integrity
• work with a joyful attitude

10 strategies to help your kids work unto the Lord

You’ve likely landed on this post because you want to help your kids work God’s way. I applaud you! God commands us to teach our kids His Word and to lead them in His ways. There is much included in that command. Teaching our kids about work is one of those things.

Before we get to the practical part, I want to remind you of two truths:

• We can’t make our kids work unto the Lord. As much as we want our kids to listen to wise instruction, we must remember that it’s their job to choose to. Our job isn’t to make them. Our job is to teach them, equip them, and influence them. In the end, they have to decide who they will follow!
• Everyone is created differently. Duh, right? We know this and yet we don’t act like it. Our kids are all different. Let us not forget that different personalities will impact the way we work just as much as the type of work we choose.

Ok, let’s look at some practical ways you can help your kids work unto the Lord!

1. Model both good work habits and a good work ethic

Let’s just get this one out of the way because we all know that no one likes to hear it. We are responsible for practicing what we preach. Can we seriously expect our kids to empty the dishwasher when we whine about going to work?

Kids catch 100% of our behavior and only a small percentage of the things we tell them. It’s the most frustrating part of parenting because we KNOW BETTER, but don’t do better.

Don’t expect perfection, but be sure you hold yourself accountable for modeling good work habits and attitudes. This includes not bad-mouthing your job/boss, not complaining about going to work, not turning in lousy work, and even things like not cheating your boss.

In case you think it’s easy for me to say that we need to model a good work ethic, let me share a peek into my story.

This is one of my favorite pictures of me working when my kids were very little. My husband left when I was pregnant with my 4th child. At the time of this picture, my kids were 7, 6, 3, and 1. I had just started Not Consumed!

I won’t lie, working full-time as a single mom and homeschooling my kids has been something I’ve only been able to do by the grace of God. Some days are so hard. Some seasons are so hard. But I am IMMEASURABLY thankful for the opportunity and I make sure that’s what my kids see.

And yes, I totally love it when my back becomes a car parking lot while I type blog posts. It’s a little distracting at times, but I wouldn’t trade those footsteps in the hallway for anything!

2. Change your attitude: work unto the Lord

We talked above about working unto the Lord. Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it? One thing that keeps us from working like this is our perspective. We’ve become so jaded about work because we’ve believed the lies the world tells us.

We’ve believed that the sole purpose of work is to make money and feed our families. It’s become a ball and chain. A drudgery. Something we can’t wait to get away from. Our kids know this and take on the same attitude.

We must stop the madness! One thing we need to know is that God says the exact opposite about the work He gives us.

…and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil–this is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 5:19

Oof. A gift? Work is a gift? Trust me, I find that as hard to believe sometimes as you do, but it’s still true. Work is how God provides for us not just financially, but spiritually, emotionally, and physically!

We get this mixed up because there is often pain associated with work. But did you realize that work was given to us by God and called GOOD before the fall? The pain we associate with work is a consequence of the fall.

But the gift of work remains, even in the midst of the pain! When we get this right, we can work unto the Lord with joy!

3. Teach good work habits and a good work ethic

Of course, it’s not all about just being an influence. We do need to teach our kids specific habits and skills. We need to show them what is expected. We need to teach them how to develop good work habits and how to have a good work ethic.

• Good work habits are the things you do regularly to become a better worker, such as reading daily, practicing your trade, sharpening organizational skills, and eating well so you can stay focused.
• Good work ethic is the reputation you have as an employee. It’s things like taking initiative, being dependable, contributing new ideas, and being a team player.

One great way to teach those is to compliment other people’s work as you are out and about. Talk about the great job a server did at a restaurant or the happy attitude of the cashier at the grocery store. Point out an employee who went above and beyond and those who didn’t bother.

Of course, it may not be appropriate to do this in front of the person (everyone loves a compliment, but complaining customers not so much). I typically talk about these things as we walk out of the store or on the drive home.

Whatever you do, DON’T just harp on the bad fast food employee or the customer service rep who made your day frustrating. While it can be helpful to show our kids what the employee could have done better, it’s far more impactful to show them employees who are doing excellent work.

This might mean you need to change where you shop. Haha. Seriously, I do choose where I shop and dine based on the customer service I can expect, and you likely do too. Express this to your kids so they can see it as well!

Another way to teach excellent work habits is through chores. We will get to that in the next section.

4. Create jobs for your kids

If we want our kids to learn to work, we have to create jobs that will help them learn the skills they need. This means allowing them to do chores even if it’s much easier to do them yourself. It also means looking for ways your kids can pick up bigger jobs that you might hire out, like lawn work or even painting.

I know a homeschool mom who pays her 16-year-old to babysit her younger siblings in the afternoons so she can work. Genius! This helps Mom a ton and teaches the older child incredible work skills. Plus, she has the opportunity to earn money and learn to manage it.

You might also look for things your older kids can do to save you time and to help them make money, like creating a grocery list or even shopping for you. Remember, time is money. Pay your teen and give them work experience while at the same time helping take some things off your plate!

Of course, for most families, chores will be the main way we can create jobs for our kids. There is no shortage of chore chart ideas out there. We’ve tried them all. And most of them don’t work.

Many years ago I developed a chore chart idea that actually works for kids because you develop the system WITH them. Check it out. You’ll love it. Plus, there is a free fully-editable printable to help!

The other secret to the success of this was that I had specific steps for completing each of the chores all typed out on the back of their chore cards. This gives them no excuse for getting the job done well!

5. Create opportunities to strengthen their strengths

Often, we harp on the weaknesses our kids have. We try to get them special help or set up programs to get them to practice more. What if we put as much energy into strengthening their strengths?

I like to call it the zone of genius. Everyone has something they excel at. As a homeschool mom, it’s my mission to find this thing for each of my kids and feed the fire. Because it’s a LOT easier to fan a fire than it is to fight an uphill battle!

We want our kids to use the natural strengths and talents God has given them and pursue those things with all their hearts. We can help them do this in several specific ways:

• Help them see their strengths.
• Give them tools like classes, subscriptions, and books that will help them sharpen their skills.
• Help them learn about career options that best utilize their strengths.
• Connect them with mentors who have similar strengths.

I would also note here that it’s SUPER important to capitalize on opportunities when your kids are young. Pictured above is my toddler “helping around the house.” Little ones LOVE to help, so take advantage of that and give them jobs. Let them develop those good work habits!

6. Teach into their weaknesses with purpose

Of course, we do need to work on weaknesses. I just want to emphasize again that I believe the FOCUS of our time should be to better develop strengths. Work on weaknesses only to the point that is necessary for life.

For example, not everyone has to love to cook. If they know the basics, that’s good enough. They don’t need to master the Creme Brule.

My oldest child is a gifted writer. Language arts emerged as a clear winner before she was in middle school. So as she entered high school with her heart set on a biblical studies and/or language major, I lightened the math load so she could focus there and not get frustrated.

She still took math and even did well enough on the ACT to get a full scholarship, but I didn’t make her take Trig, Calculus, or any other advanced math classes. Instead she took three years of Latin, a year of Greek, and finished her basic college English requirements before she was even a senior in high school.

This way she can focus on the thing she loves and is clearly gifted to do: write! (Secret: she wrote several of our products before she even graduated high school!)

You can do this with many skills and subjects our culture pushes as “normal” or “mandatory.” Think outside the box and really ask yourself what your kids NEED.

7. Show your kids that work is THEIR responsibility

It’s hard to watch your kids fail. Might even be one of the hardest parts of parenting. We naturally want to jump in and rescue them, shielding them from the negative effects of failure. But we must resist when it comes to work ethics and habits.

Don’t jump in to rescue your child when they don’t come through! If your child leaves an assignment at home, don’t rush to the school or homeschool co-op to deliver it. It’s better to learn this lesson in middle school than it is to learn it in high school or college. The stakes only get higher as your kids get older, so the younger they learn about natural consequences, the better!

My kids have missed youth group activities because they failed to sign up. My youngest even went without lunch one day between work and piano because he forgot to pack it. I DID rescue him multiple times, but I had to draw the line somewhere. After literally dozens of times of forgetting and me rescuing him because he is so young, one day I couldn’t make it work.

Guess what? That was the last day he forgot to pack his lunch. What a clear reminder to me that when we rescue our kids from consequences, we enable them to keep up lazy or poor behaviors! More importantly, we hinder their growth.

Remember what I said when we started. We have influence as parents, but we will never have ultimate control over the behavior of our kids. They have to choose to take responsibility for their own work habits and work ethics. Our job is simply to equip them to do so!

If teaching responsibility is something you’d like more ideas for, check out this post. I’ll walk you through the practical steps of teaching responsibility in all ages, both at home and with school work.

8. Remind them that everyone works

When I wrote the Work Unto the Lord Bible study, one of my favorite parts was discovering all the ways people worked in the Bible. You’ll find everything from mother to tentmaker, with so many cool options in between.

But the biggest thing you’ll see is that everyone worked–moms, dads, kings in battle, priests in prayer, kids in the fields, and yes, even Jesus!

Sometimes we are fooled into thinking that work is a job or career. Nothing could be further from the truth. Work is so much bigger than that. Just ask a mom. Most moms hold down dozens of “jobs” without even stepping foot outside the house.

Even if that’s not true in your home, show your kids that everyone helps around the house by implementing a strong chore system. Also reinforce excellent work ethics by holding them accountable for school work. Both of these things are a child’s “season” of work. They aren’t exempt.

The Bible is rather harsh on this topic:

If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
2 Thessalonians 3:10

Of course that doesn’t mean your toddler can’t eat if he doesn’t unload the dishwasher. There is certainly an age of accountability here, but note that it’s likely WAY younger than most parents realize. Even a toddler can set a napkin at each person’s plate while setting the table.

Teaching kids to contribute from a very young age is crucial. Chores and school are both what God has called kids to do with their lives. The cool thing is, both are used to prepare them for whatever He has next!

9. Teach kids that work is a reflection of who you are

On the rare occasion that my family eats fast food, you can count on it being Chick-fil-A. I’m sure you know we don’t pick it because it has the shortest line or the cheapest menu. In fact, both of those aren’t so.

We pick Chick-fil-A because their customer service is a reflection of what they believe in. Yes, it’s a Christian company and that says a lot, but the company invests a lot of resources in developing its staff, including the sweet young lady at the drive-thru window. And it shows.

We know we will drive past another fast food restaurant with an empty line and cheaper menu just to get to Chick-fil-A. We do it because we can count on their excellence. And we skip those unnamed fast food joints because we know we can count on the opposite experience most of the time.

Paint that picture for your kids. When people can count on your excellence, they will choose to work with you. Poor work ethics are a barrier to good relationships and excellent opportunities. Even more so, poor work ethics are a barrier to future opportunities. Don’t let that happen to your kids!

Work ethics start at the core of who you are. If you are faithful to clean your room or turn in an assignment, you will be faithful as an employee. If you are faithful working a drive-thru window, you’ll be faithful as the manager.

And if not, you simply won’t be. People know this about you. Your character WILL impact both today’s opportunities and those given to you in the future!

10. Teach your kids what God says about work

This one seems obvious, but I’m not going to lie–I waited WAY too long to do it. When kids are young, we lead by example. But as our kids get older (by age 6), we must faithfully teach them God’s truths!

Remember those diaper-wearing toddlers who will do anything to help? They turn into work-hating teenagers if they aren’t taught the true value of work along the way. You can impact a teenager with a sudden chore system, but it will be FAR easier if they have been doing one since they were 5 or 6 years old.

Kids need to know:

• where the idea of work comes from
• how God uniquely designed us for work
• how work is a gift from God
• how God tells us to work
• how God uses work to grow us

I know this seems like a daunting task, but I’d love to help. In an effort to teach my own kids this valuable info, I wrote a Bible study. In this Bible study, Work Unto the Lord, we address all of the above, as well as how we can develop good work habits.

Remember, the world says work is a dirty word, but it’s a LIE! Work is a gift. While we still have kids in our homes, we need to take advantage of the time we have to teach them the work habits and ethics they will use for many years to come!

The day was ordinary. Down the hall, I could hear the buzz of children happily playing and the hum of the washing machine busily making things clean. There was no reason to expect any hint of turmoil until I stepped in it.

Purple goo oozed between my toes and onto my pant legs. A million scenarios flashed before my mind. Then I saw it. The laundry soap container had plummeted into a dismal sea of purple.

The bottle itself had just come home from the store. And now I found myself mopping up what seemed like gallons of soap. Tears invaded and hysteria settled in my heart. There was no way to salvage the disaster and the $14 to buy a new one would be costly, to say the least. My tired hands pressed and mopped at the goo which easily made its way into the deepest crevices of the carpet. After what seemed like hours of useless pressing, I gave up. The pressures of the day mounted and I fell into a heap of despair.

Somewhere in between the brokenness and the crying out, I finally let God’s words seep through. “I’ve got this. Don’t you trust me?” I knew it was true and I knew I hadn’t been trusting Him with this purple sea of despair. But it seemed so silly. It’s just laundry soap. It really shouldn’t be such a big deal. But sometimes my lot hardly seems fair, and today was one of those days.

Left on my shelf was a not-even-full cup of laundry soap and a rather damaged vessel.

A few months passed with the broken vessel of purple doom sitting on my laundry shelf. Days would pass and laundry would pile up. I would empty the tiny cup into the machine with each new load of laundry. And somehow, every time I came back, the cup had just enough left again.

At first, I didn’t think much of it, but eventually I found myself wondering. Didn’t I empty it all? How is this cup full again? But despite my questioning, it was full again. Load after load would wash clean and somehow the cup did not grow empty.

The cup never ran out because God provided.

Not only did He provide this one little $14 need we had, He provided every need we had. Although nearly ten years have passed since that desperate day when I was a new single mom with 4 kiddos under 6, the laundry soap incident serves as a reminder of how powerful God really is and how much He cares about the little things. It’s a reminder to always be looking for His hand in our lives and to keep our hearts focused on Him instead of the circumstances that threaten to consume us.

Oh, friend, I know it’s not easy. The bills pile up and we begin to panic. I’m still the sole provider for my family and the stress to provide and DO MORE is an ever present temptation. But the feeling that I must be the one to provide is a lie. I don’t have to make this work (and neither do you)! God has committed to provide for us. There is no amount of trying on our part that is ever going to trump His ability to care for us.

This simple story is one of many times God provided for us back in the early and most financially difficult years, but it’s always been my favorite because it focuses on the promise of God’s attention to even the little details in our lives. The miracle of God’s provision isn’t always in the big things. He might not always drop a $1000 check on your doorstep , but He will always provide. Even in the seemingly small and mundane things, like laundry soap. His provision is beyond what we can imagine. Are you watching for it?

6 Ways to Help Kids See God’s Provision

Seeing God at work in our lives is vital for spiritual growth, but sometimes we can’t see it. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense and it seems like the things happening couldn’t possibly be from God. This is one of the most crucial things to help our kids learn. They NEED to see God at work. Here are some practical ways to help them see His goodness through provision:

1. Teach them about the lions and the lilies

We are always looking for God to do something HUGE in our lives, but the Bible repeatedly points out that God is a God of detail. He dresses the lilies in splendor (Luke 12:27) and feeds the ravens (Luke 12:24). Another verse I love to teach my kids is Psalm 34:10. It says the lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack NO GOOD THING. Coupled with Romans 8:28-32, these are precious promises to meditate on.

Start by pointing out all of the little things that God does. Don’t let anything go by without reminding your kids that it’s a sweet gift from God. This includes a close parking spot in the rain, a sale on an item that you must have this week, or a discount given.

Also, spend time teaching your kids these verses. Draw them together and note the marvelousness of God. You can do a survey looking up all of the verses on God’s provision or spend a month looking at one verse a day.

Better yet, memorize some of these key verses together. This will make it easy to recall God’s promises when you need them! If you need a list to get started, check out these memory verses for kids.

2. Teach the faithfulness of God’s character

When we read the promises above and then look at our lives, sometimes we feel like they simply can’t be true. I mean, if God is good why is _________ happening in my life? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who wonders such things.

One key verse for this struggle is:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

When you can’t trust the circumstances, trust God’s character. When things seem unbearable, chaotic, or unfair, we must lean on the truth of who God is. Of course, that means we have to get in the Bible and find out exactly what God is like for ourselves. It’s not enough for someone else to tell you.

One simple way to do this is to consider going through the names of God. Keep a simple journal and record everything you learn about Him!

We have a “Names of Jesus” printable designed for Easter, but you could use it anytime. It’s a simple study of the names of God straight from Scripture.

3. Teach them to understand what God is most concerned about

One of the most profound things I’ve ever learned about this topic is that if we are going to understand the gap between what God provides and what we think is “good” we have to understand what God’s priorities are. First and foremost, God is concerned about our heart. He is concerned about our most miserable condition: being lost, separated from Him, and condemned to hell.

When things in life don’t go the way we think would be a “good” way to go, we must know that God always focuses on His priorities (like we should). Sometimes giving us a good and perfect gift means keeping something from us so we can see our own sinful nature.

This isn’t a fallacy of Scripture, it’s a shallowness in our thinking and understanding. Helping your kids understand this is crucial for the teen years especially. Kids who see holes in their faith, doubt. Kids who doubt, walk away from the faith.

This might also be a good time for a lesson on wants vs. needs and how we are called to live content with whatever God chooses in our lives. For help with this, check out A Content Heart Bible study for kids.

4. Teach them to recount the deeds of the Lord

One of my favorite verses about thanking God for things is one most people rarely consider:

I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD, the praises of the LORD,
according to all that the LORD has granted us… Isaiah 63:7

This is exactly what we need to be doing, recounting the goodness of the Lord. First, recount suggests that it’s something we do over and over again! Second, it’s the goodness of the Lord we should recount. Often our list of things to be grateful for is very focused on material possessions, but God’s goodness is immeasurable and it’s seen in nearly everything we think, say, do, experience.

Start writing down your list of things to be thankful for today. We’ve got a free Thankfulness Printable Pack that you’ll love!

5. Teach them to see God in the lives of others

This is one of my ninja parenting hacks. (Ha ha) Seriously, it’s so much more difficult to see the good or bad in our own lives, but often SUPER easy to see it in the lives of those around us. (Remember that “speck in your neighbor’s eye” verse?)

One really practical way we do this is to read about the lives of missionaries. I’ll never forget when our family read the story of George Mueller. First of all, we couldn’t put it down. But most importantly, it impacted my kids in a way I couldn’t have imagined. A few months later when I told my son we couldn’t buy a particular item at the store because it was out of budget, he said, “We need to get serious and pray like George Mueller because God always provides.”

It was cute, funny, and melted my heart all at the same time. The thing he wanted was a particular kind of meat, certainly not on the same level as George and the starving orphans who prayed for bread and milk. But that day it was clear to me that reading about those missionaries was impacting his heart and it was teaching Him to rely on God for provision, even the desires of his heart.

Need help finding books you can trust? We’ve got a great list of missionary books here.

6. Teach them to give

Seems backwards that giving would teach us to appreciate the provision we have, but it does. In learning what others need, we see how very much we have. In giving of what we have, we learn to cherish the things we are given. It really is that simple.

Remember that giving isn’t just about things. It’s also about giving of our talents, our time, and our love. We love to use this Random Acts of Kindness Bingo to help us think of quick and easy ways to give to others.

7. Teach your kids about the value of work

You can’t very well learn about God’s provision if you don’t talk about the #1 way most of us get money: WORK!

Learning a good work ethic, good work habits, and the Biblical picture of HOW we should work, is vital to helping your kids see God’s provision in their lives. Work isn’t a curse. Work was given to us before the fall. It was only the pain of work that came as a curse.

Starting a chore system like this one when they are young sets kids up for a better attitude about chores later.

If you’d like help teaching your kids what God has to say about work, we’ve got this Bible study for families called Work Unto the Lord. You’ll love the Biblical principles and practical application. Plus, who can resist cute stickers?

Find out WHY it’s critical to teach your kids to THINK about Scripture,
plus use this simple acronym to help them do it.

Mary didn’t ride a donkey to Bethlehem.

There, I said it. Don’t throw tomatoes. Give me a chance to explain.

I know you’ve seen the Christmas pageant 1000 times and yes, I know Mary always rides a donkey. I mean how else could a pregnant woman (nearly in labor) go so far to be taxed?

So how did she get there? Go read Luke 2 and Matthew 1 again. Look for it. (Go ahead and do it now, I’ll wait.)

Shocked? You won’t find any mention of the donkey. It’s just not there. It doesn’t say anything about exactly how she got there. If that’s not bad enough, if we study the history of that time period, we’d learn that it would have been a disgrace for Mary to do so. It’s VERY unlikely she would have done such a thing.

I hope you will forgive me for ruining everything you’ve ever known about the Christmas story. Trust me, when I found out, I was just as appalled. How could people do this to us? Well, I’d contend that we did it to ourselves. Well, mostly. Let me explain.

I teach 6th grade on Wednesday nights at a pretty conservative church. Most of the kids who attend my class have spent the last 11+ years of their life in church 3 times a week. They have memorized countless verses and participated in probably hundreds of church-life events.

The sad thing is, when we study a passage and I ask questions, many of these kids can’t think about Scripture at all. They state the facts, some of which are just popular facts and not actually what you’d see if you read the details.

You see, often when you grow up in church, you hear stories over and over again until you get to the point where you assume what you will read and gloss over the details.

This kind of familiarity can cause Christians to start assuming they know what the Bible says and then simply STOP thinking. And that is the last thing on earth we want for our kids if we have any hope of helping them stand firm in faith.

We’ve got a long way to go to help kids overcome this, but it starts with making sure kids read the Bible themselves. If they are old enough to read, stop reading it for them! Get your child a Bible. (I recommend one here.)

Have them read small chunks at a time, but I can’t stress enough that your child should be reading the actual Bible (not a story book or paraphrase) by themselves!

The next step is to teach our kids not to assume, but to check the details, think through the possibilities, and seek answers.

When it comes to Scripture, teach your kids to think deeper, question details, and consider how it applies. This not only clarifies details, it helps us discern false teaching.

Teach them to question you, teachers, preachers, and everything they read. We want them to dig deeper and find the truth! Yes, you might be wrong sometimes, admit it and move on. If you don’t admit that you aren’t perfect, your kids will still know you are, they will just think you are a liar or a fake. (<— Ouch, don’t let that happen.)

3 Questions to Help Your Kids THINK about Scripture

I teach kids to ask themselves WHY they are reading a passage. WHY is an acronym to help them remember three questions to ask themselves. Who is God? How is this new to me? Yet, what will I do?

1. Who is God?

This is the MOST important question. I grew up believing that the Bible is the rule book. In one sense, that’s true. But reducing the Bible to a rule book robs Christians of its most significant purpose… to show us who God really is.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love rules. But if God was only about the rules, He would have skipped everything else. Think about it. What was the very FIRST thing God wanted us to know about Himself? (Hint: Read Genesis 1)

God wanted us to see that He is good. The entire opening chapter of the Bible is focused on His goodness. Not His rules for us. Yes, there are rules. But if God only wanted us to have rules, He would have stopped at the Old Testament, right?

The Bible is how we come to know WHO God is. His Word shows us His character. We need the rules, but that shouldn’t be our main focus for reading the Bible.

Teach your kids to look at every passage FIRST to see what they can learn about WHO GOD IS!

2. How is this new to me?

This second question serves two purposes. One, it causes us to stop and think about what we might have learned about this passage before that was incorrect.

Every time you are tempted to rush through something you’ve read before, remind yourself of Mary and the donkey. We don’t want to fall for that again!

The second reason to ask yourself this question is to see if there is something new that God wants you to learn. No matter how often you read a passage, there is always something new to see!

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of the soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

That’s what Hebrews 4:12 means. As we grow and change in Christ, we see His Word in different ways. Life changes us, situations teach us, and God’s Word meets us right where we are.

3. Yet, what will I do?

After you’ve asked the first two questions and ONLY after, the next step is to ask how the passage impacts you. It might sound something like this, “Now that I’ve learned ______________ about God, how should I respond?”

We are really good at teaching kids to read and memorize Scripture, but we often skip the application of it. Not every verse is written for us to change something specific in our lives, but every passage should be met with a response of some kind.

Perhaps our response is thanksgiving, perhaps repentance, or perhaps we see a new way to think about something. Whatever it is, we should think about this before we move on.

It’s great to read and memorize Scripture, but if it doesn’t change us, we are CRAZY. For real, that’s exactly what the Bible says:

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

I quote this verse to my kids often. Hearing the Word, but not doing it, not letting it change you, is CRAZY! Just like a man who looks in the mirror and then forgets what he looks like. Let’s not be crazy!

What you can do to help your kids

The fact that you read this post makes you an amazing parent. You are doing your best and giving it your all. Don’t take that lightly! But you should know that training children is a difficult job. It takes consistency, faithfulness, and even righteousness that we don’t possess on our own. You’ll need to rely on God to help!

Don’t get discouraged if your kids aren’t ready and willing to ask these questions when they study the Bible on their own. As they begin to understand why independent Bible study and quiet time is important, they will learn. In the meantime, use these questions as a family.

What we model for our kids, makes a lasting impact!

• If you’d like help teaching your kids to have a quiet time, check out this free course.
• If you’d like to get started laying a Foundation of Faith, you’ll love this Bible study.
• Find more apologetics for kids here.