Myopia Movies

This week we inaugurate a musical month with the music of the night, and its playing slightly flat. This week the Myopia crew goes down into the Paris sewers for Joel Schumacher’s 2005 film of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s mega-musical. Gerard Butler plays a Phantom who sings like he’s yelling at a rugby match. His “hideous deformity” looks a lot like a bad sunburn. Emmy Rossum spend...

Button eyes, a suspiciously perfect mother, and a tunnel that definitely should have been left alone. This week we riff on Henry Selick’s stop-motion nightmare-fuel masterpiece, in which a bored kid discovers that the grass is always greener in the Other World, mostly because it’s being grown by a soul-eating arachnid with a sewing hobby.

We cover the things the movie ...

This week on Myopia Movies, we accept an invitation to Auntie’s house, which is a mistake, because Auntie’s house is hungry.

Nobuhiko Obayashi’s 1977 Japanese horror-comedy follows Gorgeous and her six schoolmates (Kung Fu, Prof, Fantasy, Melody, Mac, and Sweetie, because subtlety was not on the call sheet) as they head to the countryside for a summer getaway....