My Bladder Cancer Journey

 I managed to mostly clear my mind but then had to get up as my OH heard rustlings outside so armed with a torch I went and checked.  Probably just a roosting bird or something in the hedgerow.  I managed to get to sleep OK and woke twice but managed to go back to sleep or enter that sleep where you think you've been awake a long time but you were more tha...

 On reflection, sleep, even in these sticky high temperatures, is OK.  I serviced the cooling (evaporation) fan and it does its work well.  I'm getting about 7 hours sleep with perhaps 2 wakes during the night.  Those two are generally fine and I can just go back to sleep most of the time.  It's the waking around 5:45 to 6 that is proving difficult at...

 I am certainly struggling at the moment, no doubt about it and a lot has to do with having no plan or idea where I go from here.  My daughter is on a world trip taking a year out of work and good on her.  Suddenly I am left without the job/project/business and boom!  Retirement and I just never planned for it, it has arrived a bit earlier than I expected ...

 It is annoying that I managed to get back to sleep but then I woke up and could only fitfully sleep.  Counting backwards did help but these silly thoughts kept arising and that is what they are, silly and I just need to work on that.

Out today so perhaps that might help?  

 Is the world a more dangerous and frightening place?  Is it worse now than it was when I was younger?  Well, yes and no.  I have time to reflect on the barrage of information both true, false, made up, downright propaganda and so on.  I probably took little notice when I was younger but recall only really Saturday and Sunday picking up a ne...