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My Bladder Cancer Journey

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My Bladder Cancer Journey: My Bladder Cancer Journey

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Message History

 The day has arrived and I am going to take myself off to the meeting and see my friend and hope that I have a good time and leave some of this "worry" behind.

My Cousin's wife called from NZ last night to say he had passed away on Monday.  That was a shock and my other cousin had ended up with Dementia and another has been sectioned after trying to end it all! That wa...


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 Don't look back they often tell you except once in a while it is probably worth a short review. I did try and work on documenting my Bladder Cancer Journey, bringing close to 20 years into a book and it actually made me feel quite ill. It dragged up old memories best forgotten, pain relived is not good and I wonder if I am partly carrying around that - I abandoned it when ...


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 Irrational fears I suppose - although it felt real but I finally had a full on melt down and OH was very supportive and the chat we had was needed and it resolved some (not all) of the problems.  I don't know for how long but we both have "stuff to do" and we can sort it out together we've agreed.

So that resulted in a better feeling and a good but not entirely uninter...


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 Yet again, my thoughts overtook me.  I probably wasn't ready to go to bed and was a bit flustered and awake and so I lay awake for at least an hour, possibly more. The thoughts then came and overwhelmed it's pretty fair to say but I managed to get about 5 hours sleep when I woke up I disturbed OH and so felt really bad about that and then couldn't really settle back down ag...


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 I'd worked out what I was struggling with.  I know what it is, I can identify it and yet, boom! It knocked me for six yet again. These waves of melancholy - I should be able to identify them and control them but sometimes they just overtake me and make me feel sh1t and then after an hour or so - I feel better.

OH suggests it is because I am intermittent fasting so I ...


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