The other day I was doing a clearout of old junk and came across a box filled with books put into storage from a childhood bookshelf. Below, they are pasted in all their glory. Behold them, DESPAIR, and MARVEL. I will now commence to review and rank them. Reviews are based on artistic merit, excitement level, and innovation, marked in the traditional way (1-5 bec des corbins), with the marks averaged and an overall ranking produced.

There is something faintly ridiculous about this cover, for all that it depicts something fabulous and for all its technical merit. Is it really plausible to imagine that his quads are strong enough for him to ride around on those tigers all the way across a semi-frozen lake? Does he not feel the burn? Does his facial expression not lack a certain je ne sais quoi? Bonus point, however, for creative and tasteful deployment of a cod-piece.

Artistic merit: 4, Excitement level: 3, Innovation: 2.

It is a tower of destruction and it destroys. I loved this image as a child, and I love it still. Take that, innocent village of innocent villagers! Tell me that the image, while fairly by-the-numbers in the grand scheme of things, does not want to make you play the book.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 5, Innovation: 2

This, on the other hand, is, to use the technical expression, pants. Lacking in motion or vibrancy, it appears to depict not so much a demon as a vaguely non-plussed and rather sheepish looking skeleton who is not so much brandishing his weapons as showing them off to his audience. He is accompanied by two fish-men goons who appear to be almost a backing chorus. This is poorly executed.

Artistic merit: 2, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 1

This is an example of a particular genre of RPG/Gamebook art, which depicts fantasy creatures interacting in some way with the paraphernalia associated with the game (in this case it is dice, which is normally the case, but it could be pens or paper or a rulebook). This runs contrary to my taste (I can't fathom why this approach could be considered more exciting than a depiction of an actual 'in game' event), although I do quite like the way the tigerman slobbers ravenously, and the strangely haunted looking dwarf emerging from the dice itself.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 1.

This is a decent, spooky picture, perhaps rather derivative of every early Stephen King cover you have seen, and with an oddly lacklustre horned vampire fellow here at the front. Good evil ents, though.

Artistic merit: 3, Excitement level: 3, Innovation: 1.

It is quite hard to argue that this is a good picture. Indeed, I am struggling to find merit in it. Is there any merit in it? It is, at least, distinctive. Is distinctiveness good even if the image is bad? I will leave this question to the philosophers in my readership.

Artistic merit: 1, Excitement level: 1, Innovation: 3.

Monsters and Manuals

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