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It’s me, the author of countless wordless, step-by-step booklets for assembling your twenty-month-old’s favorite toys.
Oh, you’re having trouble with that little plastic wheelbarrow? Wondering how something that’s only four pieces can take so long to assemble? Me—that’s how, you incompetent fool.
I take my craft very seriously. It’s a process I’ve honed over dec...
Underground Artists is an ongoing comic by Ali Fitzgerald (Hungover Bear & Friends) that follows woodlan...
Gerontocracies are political systems that arise when leaders who are elected over and over and over again become significantly older than the general population. You may have noticed that gerontocracies have gotten a bad rep lately, what with all the freezing, falling, sleeping, and… um… “stuff.” But if any of you young whippersnappers would put down your Walkmans and your wi...
To Faculty and Parents,
I am writing to let you know I can no longer serve as the faculty advisor for the Harrison High School Human Cloning Club. I am sick of developing cutting-edge cloning research, pushing the boundaries of biological possibilities, and dominating in the world of science when student interest has clearly waned.
At the beginning of the year, ...
I’m running. I will do it better.
I will create wilder expectations, deliver fewer results, and scapegoat even more.
I will raise plausible deniability to record highs.
I will say even less with more words.
I will make knowing what I actually think, stand for, or am joking about more impossible.
I will stage my downfall more theatrically, ra...