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(With apologies to Tim O’Brien)
- - -Mike carried Eggo waffles for a girl named Eleven. They were not love waffles, but Mike Sheets was hoping, so he carried the box of Eggos down the stairs to the basement. During science class at Hawkins Middle School or trick-or-treating with his friends, he’d imagine dancing with Eleven at the annu...
Due to the overwhelming number of anticipated brawls this Thanksgiving, we decided to streamline your day with an Official Family Thanksgiving Fight Schedule. This is a double-elimination tournament that will abide by UFC rules.1
MOM vs. GRANDMA...
REPORTER: I’m here live with Uncle Bill just moments after Thanksgiving dinner. Bill, can you walk us through what happened tonight?
UNCLE BILL: Sure, I mean, obviously, I’m not happy with the result. Before we took our places, I was informed I’d be sitting at the kids’ table, which, frankly, I think is a slap in the ...
“President Donald Trump on Wednesday sought to bring a swift end to perhaps the most damaging saga of his term, signing a measure compelling the release of the Epstein files after losing a monthslong, tooth-and-nail fight to prevent their disclosure.” – href="https://nam02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fedition.cnn.com%2F2025%2F11%2F20%2Fpolitics%2F...
Here’s how this is gonna go: First, you will step up to the rental counter only when I give you The Look. The Look is not markedly different from my resting face. In fact, it’s no different at all. But it’s your job to recognize The Look, so pay attention. If, upon your turn, you hesitate for one single second, I will call out “Next,” in a way that strikes fear into the heart...
