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Last week we talked about anxiety as a response to a real or imagined threat. How we make our partner the threat. How reactivity is the anxiety.
This week is the question underneath that: why does their disagreement knock the floor out from under you?
A lot of us don’t actually know who we are unless someone is reflecting it back. Praise. A title. Being b...
If you don’t think you have anxiety, this episode is probably for you.
A lot of us hear “anxiety” and picture someone who worries all day and imagines every disaster. That is not how it usually shows up in marriage. In close relationships, anxiety often looks like defensiveness, shutting down, fixing, blaming, or making your partner the problem.
In this episode, w...
One of the smallest words in English can quietly change the emotional climate of a marriage.
In this episode, we talk about the difference between “but” and “and.” “But” often cancels whatever came before it. “And” lets two truths stand side by side.
This is not a dramatic new technique. It is a simple linguistic shift that helps ...
We just spent two episodes looking at contempt—the number one predictor of divorce. One of the clearest takeaways is this: empathy and contempt cannot live in the same room.
When contempt is operating, we elevate ourselves. Disgust and superiority crowd out our capacity to stay present with the person we claim to love the most. And when we lose that presence, we start w...
Last week we named the problem: contempt is addictive, corrosive, and the #1 predictor of divorce. This week we take up the harder question—how do we actually walk away from it?
We open with an honest look at whether it’s possible to keep a largely contempt-free marriage while still participating in a culture that runs on contempt. The short answer: not in any deep or s...