Sometimes things just click. Then when you reflect you realise that the thing clicked because of many things all coming together – that as much as you wanted to advance an idea in the past, it needed time.

I had one of these moments during the writing meetup I hosted this evening. During the event, one topic that came up was what we publish on our blogs. I shared that one thing I haven’t written much about is playing music. I love playing the piano, and I’m learning guitar! But I don’t write much about the process. When I asked myself why in the call, something clicked. I think it’s because I feel vulnerable talking about music.

I don’t know how to read sheet music, and I don’t play perfectly. I play piano by ear so every time I play a song it’s a little bit different because I am playing things as I go; I can't play a song off the top of my head. Over time I think a degree of muscle memory kicks in, but I’m not able to play a piece from sheet music. With that said, I love playing songs by Taylor Swift, and, generally, I love playing the piano.

There isn’t a wrong way to play if you’re having fun, but I still feel a certain sense of obligation to know more theory, or to be able to play more consistently. Then again, would I still be playing piano if I didn’t go on the journey I am on right now?

I think my vulnerability comes from not having played much with others, or having spoken about music. I don’t want to realise I’m doing something “the wrong way” because music really is fun for me. I’d love to find someone one day with that mindset who lives nearby and play music for fun. That would be amazing!?

Ironically, I have played piano in public several times before – at train stations, in airports – in front of both strangers and people I know. I have the confidence to play, but in places where the expectations are set such that having fun is okay; where you can make mistakes and recover and keep going.

If you’re curious to hear me play, I have a recording that’s 2-3 years old of me playing Taylor Swift’s Maroon. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine :)

I’m starting to think about how the lessons I have learned about writing apply to music, too. If I write, I’m a writer. If I play piano, I can play piano! Even if I’m not perfect.

Another reason why I haven't written about playing piano is that playing music is a hobby mostly away from the computer for me. I don't necessarily want to think about writing while I play music; piano and guitar are pursuits on their own. With that said, I have wanted to write something about playing music for a while. Indeed, I can write about the topic without the obligation of writing more. It took this blog post to help me get this far in my thinking.

Anyway, this was going to be a post about playing guitar, but it seems I had a lot more to say about my vulnerability than I thought I did. I should spend a moment talking about guitar. Over the Christmas holidays, I picked up a guitar for the first time. I had been curious about the guitar for a while but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to start playing. My fingers will hurt, I thought to myself. Looking ahead a few weeks, my fingertips on my left hand – used to hold down the strings for chords – did hurt and now they feel firmer, but now I can play a few chords!

I have been following tutorials from a YouTuber called Nena Shelby, who has recorded detailed tutorials and play-alongs for many of Taylor Swift’s songs. I like that there is a video that explains how to play a song, and a separate one that is a play-along. I am finding it easier to play along to songs as I hear them played so I can practice the rhythm of the strumming patterns.

I am having so much fun learning to play the guitar. What made me start playing was that I was in a room with a guitar in front of me. I said to myself I wonder if I can play a chord. I looked up a chord chart on my phone and strummed a few times. I didn’t have a plectrum, so I strummed the strings with my thumb. This is fun! I thought to myself. What clicked for me was that after all my thinking and wondering about guitar, there I was in a room with a guitar I could play. Maybe I can play something.

I don't have any snippets of me playing guitar, but maybe one day I will. I would love to be able to sing while I play. I am nowhere near being able to do this, but I read online that there will be a messy period of practice where I struggle with both before I get better. I can't sing well (like, seriously!) but it would be fun to sing and play.

In case anyone is interested, I play music by many other artists on piano. Of Monsters and Men and The Revivalists are among the artists whose music I have played the most in addition to Taylor Swift. I like playing pop music that I enjoy.

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