HuffPost Comedy

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Message History

“I feel like cats would be so upset if they knew they’re missing out on lying and cigarettes”

“My dog just swallowed a bag of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet. No word yet.”

“My cat choosing to puke on the hardwood floor rather than on the carpet is a sign of great respect in his culture”

“If a dog is carrying something they’re very proud of, you must be proud of them too. No exceptions.”