Grownupgamergirl

Is Geralt Incapable of Setting Boundaries?

Fri, 28 May 2021 18:55:06 +0200

Now, hear me out, please, before you dislike what I'm gonna say or tell me I'm overthinking things (which I probably am 😊). As a byproduct of my recent break up, I'm digging deep into setting personal boundaries. It's definitely something I've got to work on.

So, I noticed something today as I'm picking my way for the second time through the gorgeous open world that is THE WITCHER 3 THE WILD HUNT. More often than not Geralt is given the choice to accept a side quest or Witcher contract. The player is offered the option to have Geralt say, "I can't help you" or "I don't have time for this." Of course if you choose these options you'll wind up wildly under-leveled for the main quests that you have no choice to accept if you want to complete the game. So you choose "How can I help?" or "What do you need me to do?"

This, however, doesn't just happen in the game. It also happens more insidiously during the first season of THE WITCHER TV series on Netflix. What springs to mind is Season 1 Episode 4 OF BANQUETS, BASTARDS AND BURIALS. The scene I'm thinking of involves Duny and Pavetta where Duny in his hedgehog form declares the Law of Surprise and comes to claim Pavetta as his wife. Turns out Pavetta loves Duny, but not the point. Queen Calanthe orders Geralt to kill Duny and Geralt says something along the lines of "I'm not getting involved."

Geralt, of course, does get involved once all hell breaks loose. Yes, he does side with the hedgehog knight, staying true to his principles, but he violates his own boundary by, say it with me, getting involved.

And this example isn't unique to THE WITCHER 3. Every open world game does it, but with 90+ hours of content, it happens a lot more in this game. I am of course being a little tongue in cheek about this topic, but I do think it's a case of art imitating life. And, yes, video games are an art form.

Just as in the game, perhaps we cross boundaries IRL due to fear of missing out. In THE WITCHER, the "fear" is you'll miss out on XP and won't be able to progress in the game. IRL, well, it's whatever experience this person is offering you. Maybe it's so unique you'll think never have the opportunity again. Or maybe it's adjacent to what you've always wanted so you set aside your reservations and dive in.

Do I really believe we are conditioned by video games or other media to ignore our common sense? No, I don't subscribe to that school of thought. I tend to lean in the direction that entertainment is a safe space to act out our fears, desires, and wildest fantasies.

Anyway, food for thought. Just as we should live mindfully so should we game.

Please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below. And as always, please share, subscribe or follow via the button on the sidebar. Gamers and thinkers gotta stick together :)

Twitter: @cindyjacks

Facebook: facebook.com//author.cindy.jacks

The Last Thing I Want

Fri, 28 May 2021 02:28:42 +0200

"I need no one and the last thing I want is someone needing me." Geralt of Rivia, THE WITCHER, TV show, Netflix.

Yes, this line is from the TV show, but it really spoke to me as to why the game is so magical. And why it speaks to those of us who are "social misfits". I accept this about myself. Seems I was "born that way".

Forgive me while I digress a moment. At seventeen my parents had me take the Myers Briggs personality test and I came back ISFP. At the time I didn't much care what those letters meant, but going through the boxes and boxes of memorabilia after Mom and Dad passed, I found the result paperwork and decided to Google it.

Turns out those of us who are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceptive tend towards the arts and are socially awkward. Reading this, I sunk my head in my hands. My whole life I'd been running from who I am by nature. It was around that time I started this blog.

So what's all this got to do with THE WITCHER 3 THE WILD HUNT? Well, it's validation for those of us whole truly believe the journey is the destination. Geralt walks The Path, hated wherever he goes. He sticks to his own moral and ethical code. He is capable of acts of great heroism and mercy, but also capable of acts of brutality and destruction. He embraces all of that about himself and he's fine with it. He's also the quintessential lone wolf. He often leads his life with the attitude that he is all he needs and he doesn't want anyone else to rely on him.

While that's not always the healthiest choice in real life, I believe it is very healthy to have a fantasy space to explore total self-reliance. For those of us looking, striving, needing to do more than acquire a big house, a shiny car, a trophy spouse and 2.5 children, we need tales of the triumphant loner to keep us going. Geralt is his own hero. It's time I learn to be mine.

As always, tell me what draws you to this game in the comments below. Or tell me what other game gives you this sense of freedom. Oh and please "Like" and add me to your reading list so we can keep the conversation going.

My New Old Man...Geralt of Rivia

Wed, 26 May 2021 19:52:22 +0200

Two days in a row I've gotten out of bed, brushed my teeth, done a couple chores and did a little yoga. This is massive progress. And I know I said I wouldn't do, but I will attribute this resiliency to one man: Geralt of Rivia!

Just Kidding. I would hate to insult the friends and family who have been so very supportive. However, this is a blog about my gaming journey. So I decided to take the advice of a wonderful friend with similar trauma: "THE WITCHER 3 helped me tremendously when I was so down I felt I couldn't get back up." Sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

It has to be THE WITCHER 3 THE WILD HUNT. So first I had to forgive CD Projekt Red for the CYBERPUNK 2077 debacle. But as wiser folks than I have said: Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

And what a gift it was to start a long put off New Game+. Yesterday, I sunk so deep into Geralt's world I felt I was actually in the tub with him at Kaer Morhen. And what cisgender, heterosexual female wouldn't want that?

I'd forgotten how rich and beautiful the world of THE WITCHER 3 could be, but yet so dark and menacing at the same time. And there's so many main quests, secondary quests, and Witcher contracts, not to mention all the cool, weird stuff in Geralt's world that one hardly has time to be sad. No better panacea, I promise.

It also helps at bedtime that I can watch Mr. Henry Cavill depict an absolutely stunning Geralt on Netflix's THE WITCHER. I'm taking the deep dive, following The Path, and maybe...just maybe I'll find myself along the way.

So, I ask those hardcore gamers out there: What do you play when your heart is breaking? What games keep you off the ledge? I hope you'll share my journey and your own as well. "Like" and subscribe, please please please :)

Break up Text...I'm So Ashamed

Tue, 25 May 2021 17:28:20 +0200

I did a very NOT Gen X thing the other night. I texted my boyfriend to get out. I'm not proud of it, but I promised myself to be honest on this blog. So yeah...not my finest moment.

In my defense, once I'd sent the text I couldn't take back, I emerged from the bathroom to face the tears and objections. But there weren't any, not really. Shows how little I mattered.

Rin was using me, just like everyone else he'd ever met. After a string of failed relationships, I'm taking some much needed time off. What does that mean for my future? My dreams? My gaming and writing habits?

First things first, I have to learn to stand on my own two feet. No one propping up my ego but me. It's become a running joke in my house that I can't be trusted to pick another boyfriend or lover. I can't argue with that. So I shan't.

What, however, does this have to do with gaming, you might ask. Well, since gaming has gotten me through the death of both my parents, surely it can get me through this heartache. That's right, it's all digital men from now on: Geralt, Arthur Morgan, Alexei, Eivor (though actually my Eivor is female).

Today, four days after the bombshell, I managed to get out of bed. Believe it or not, that's huge progress. I'm sitting, staring at my monitor and PlayStation trying to work up the courage to turn them on. You see, Rin freed my inner gamer and while I appreciate that, the action is now tainted with his memory. Another bad man with damage so bad there wasn't enough love or attention in the world to fill that gaping void.

And silly me, I really thought I could help.

I'm scared, but here I go. Clicking the button. Deep breath. Deep, deep breaths.

Just as I thought, the beep of the PS4 makes me feel everything will be all right.

What games distract you from the pain of life? Help a lady out and leave a comment with title suggestions below. Oh and please "like" and subscribe. It really would help me out :)

I Hate Mondays

Tue, 18 May 2021 00:15:32 +0200

The wise and all-knowing Garfield the Cat warns us of the evils of Mondays. Did I listen? No. Even the Mama's and the Papas sing about it: Can't trust that day. Perhaps because I'm not working outside the home, I held the misapprehension I was safe from this wicked starter of the work week.

But no. Nooooooo. Today was a lasagna-worthy Monday if ever there were one. First of all my lady time came four days early, then my a large piece of metal spontaneously broke off the bottom of the car as I drove home from the grocery store (thanks to all the people who pointed and stared as if I wasn't aware the loud screeching noise was coming from my car), the IRS rejected my tax return, and only after I returned from the store with the broken car did I discover we're out of TP. F@#k me!

I dove into STRANDED DEEP hard to forget I decided to live in a tiny town with no Uber, no food delivery of any kind, and no rental car agencies. I will say the game seems up to task. I was ready to throw in the towel on what seemed a never-ending cycle of harvesting supplies, using up said supplies, rinsing and repeating when I discovered the giant ship stranded on an atoll.

Once you find the plane, the game gives you a list of parts to find and supplies to stock. Aaaaaand apparently there are giant sea monsters holding the plane parts for ransom. Of course there are.

My supply runs have shifted from palm bunches for water production and rocks and leather for tools to wood and fibrous leaves to make lots and lots of speargun spears. All I've read on the beasties indicates I'll need as many as I can craft. I'll also need a boat. Oh joy. My first attempt at a raft was a disaster and I've no idea how to get the damn barrels for the premium raft back to my BOO.

These challenges, however, are very welcome as it seems May is going to cost me an arm and a leg, not to mention the sorrow intrinsic to this month. Given the crappiness of this Monday, I think I'd prefer to be stranded on a desert island. At least I wouldn't have car repairs and the last of the move hanging over my head. Just a teensy weensy megladon to murder. No problem.

Point of Distraction

Wed, 12 May 2021 18:21:16 +0200

Sony has BATTLEFIELD V and STRANDED DEEP as their PlayStation Plus games for May. BV I dismissed outright, just didn't catch my fancy. STRANDED DEEP I jumped into last night. It's good but not great. At least not yet. It's basically like MINECRAFT for grown-ups.

I came into a little extra moolah, a gift card from my internet provider. I'm itching to experience HITMAN 3. I just have to make the mental leap that allows me to spend what amounts to a week's worth of groceries on a game that won't even take a week to burn through.

All this got me thinking of the days I used to write erotic romance (aka chick porn). I had a series titled THE POINT OF DISTRACTION. The stories being of a sexual nature, of course the heroine distracts herself with lots of lovely menfolk.

While I would never say no to an encounter with a big slice of beefcake, these days, I'm more interested in digital distraction. Video games don't require you to wax your delicate areas, the fun lasts longer than a few hours, they don't complain if you neglect them, and as far as I know gaming can't get you pregnant or give you an STI.

Unfortunately, just like sex, the quality of a gaming encounter varies greatly. Lately it seems I've hit a string of games that are at best a 5 or 6 out of 10. I need at least an 8 to survive May.

I've finally gotten someone to bring my stuff from storage (at great expense). The arrival of said stuff harbors an emotional minefield I'm loath to traverse. The anniversary of Dad's death is breathing down my neck and Mother's Day was no picnic.

I want a game that will sweep me off my feet, rock my world, and leave me sated and exhausted, a fine sheen of sweat glistening on my skin. These days, with so many releases delayed for good reason, it seems a good game is also hard to find.

Mixed Bag

Tue, 11 May 2021 17:33:15 +0200

The start of May has been a mixed bag or perhaps I should say mixed backpack I can't seem to find a moving company who will take my money to pick my stuff from storage a couple hours away. We also got a new puppy. Nanii is a beautiful red and white Siberian Husky super wooly with blue eyes. So basically she's an adorable little puff ball. While she's very sweet, the sleep deprivation is getting to the BF and me. Not to mention the loss of gaming time.

A little up, a little down, that's been my first week of May and it's also how I felt about DYING LIGHT. The game couldn't seem to make up its mind regarding its focus. Platforming, combat, shooting and looting, survival and crafting, online co-op play: the game has it all, but no one element shines. The story also meandered in a few different directions and never felt fully baked.

The DLC had a bit more polish in terms of the story, but the endings are all rather bleak. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a fatalistic ending, but at least give me a bit more shock and awe before I must face the inevitable.

All that being said, I did mostly enjoy the journey, I just never completely lost myself in it. I didn't crave it and that's the kind of experience I'm looking for. I will buy the second installment when it comes out later in the year, but for now, I'm back to searching for what I need to make it to June 1st.

Ray of Light

Sat, 08 May 2021 03:41:46 +0200

DYING LIGHT that is. After my unexpected enjoyment of DAYS GONE and my big fat disappointment at trying to play SEKIRO, my goal is find a game to distract me from the memories of May last year. It seemed the worst was over, Mom was at rest, I was gearing up to go back to work (kinda glad that didn't happen, given all the poor retail workers who contracted COVID-19, unsung heroes indeed), Dad seemed to be coping in the way that he always did. A plethora of DIY projects that always turned out beautiful. But then I got the phone call from his best friend and everything went dark for a while.

So...yeah. Trying to avoid all that and what better way to find a path out of the darkness than with a game called DYING LIGHT. Yes, it's a gloomy phrase by definition, but it still has the word 'light' in the title so imma cling to it as my best shot of getting through the last of the memories and guilt and regret and sadness that haunt me. At least I hope it's the last of it. I've been very wrong about this kind of thing in the past.

But no more talk of sad stuff. I've a got a fresh new game (at least fresh to me) AND that game has a sequel coming out this year. To quote the great and powerful Moz, "Please, please, please let me get what I want..." I don't ask too much of life these days, just a game to help me compartmentalize the pain and the words to process my racing thoughts.

So far DYING LIGHT has been absorbing. The opening cutscenes have that hook. And to quote Blues Traveler, "The hook brings you back." Or actually "baaaaaaaaack" as Mr. Popper sings it. Hmmm, I wonder if he has penguins? Sorry...Focus, Foxx!

DYING LIGHT's premise isn't the freshest, but the storytellers seem talented from the get-go and though they may not reinvent the wheel with this game, as long as they put their own spin on it, that's good enough for me.

The Mean Reds

Wed, 28 Apr 2021 19:28:23 +0200

https://youtu.be/4jsUIgchHXU

For those of you who are classic movie, Audrey Hepburn or Truman Capote fans, I'm sure you recognize this phrase. The first time I read Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly Golightly's apt name for those days when you aren't sad or blue, but actually terrified and angry for no discernible reason. And yes, they are horrible.

That's the state I've been in today. There's nothing wrong, at least not that I can put my finger on, aside from the fact that my family members are dropping like flies and this forces me to confront my own mortality. Wow, this got dark for a blog about gaming.

But it's in these times of emotional turmoil I usually seek comfort in games. Unfortunately, there's no comfort to be found in SEKIRO. Call me crazy but I don't enjoy having my a$$ handed to me over and over and over and over. And as for the storyline of the game, well, I've yet to see much evidence that one exists. I know the game is considered a masterpiece, but I guess I'm not gamer enough to understand why.

I could stop playing and find another game to drown my sorrows. Or I could just take a break and play MINECRAFT today. I always find MINECRAFT soothing. But the idea of letting a game chase me off makes me feel like a failure so I'm stuck. And I'm well aware this is all self-inflicted torture. As are the mean reds.

Perhaps it would be better to take a page from Miss Golightly's book and just go back to bed and hope that tomorrow I wake with the slightly cranky pinks or a case of good old-fashioned blues. A bright sunny yellow day, well, I think it may be a while before I come across one of those.

Serenity

Wed, 28 Apr 2021 19:26:13 +0200

My mother loved that prayer, not that she was particularly religious, but there is a resonating truth that is simple, but not easy to achieve.

I'll warn you now this isn't a cheerful post. It's not even amusingly sarcastic as is my usual method of deflection. I've been hiding, deep in the earth, deep in the ocean, deep in my own mind. MINECRAFT is that kind of meditative game for me. I've come to two conclusions:

1. SEKIRO isn't the game for me, at least not right now and no amount of stubbornly pushing through it is going to make me enjoy it. If I'm not enjoying it, why am I playing it?

2. I've been delaying (at great cost, financially and mentally) the delivery of the stuff from my parents house because I don't want to face it.

I know the container will smell of their home, that sweet, warm combination of Downy, Obsession, and Old Spice. Once those items enter my home, that scent will be forever lost. I already miss it and struggle with the fact that never again will I walk into their kitchen from the garage to the fresh breeze that was their home. It's no longer their home and it never was mine.

I also know the container holds all the family heirlooms I've no idea what to do with. Do I leave them sealed away? Do I display them proudly? Do I break my fast from drinking and down a bottle of vodka, clutching those mementos and cry and mourn the loss of a time that is well and truly over?

Sorry, not much fun today. The anniversary of Dad's death looms large and I have to stop wasting time and money avoiding the things I cannot change.

So, in lieu of gallons of vodka or cheap red wine I need to find the right game. Shush. I know I'm replacing one crutch with another but I am only human and just as frail as everyone else. At the end of the day gaming keeps my mind active and my body out of mischief so it's a much healthier crutch. And given the calisthenics I do during bathroom breaks it doesn't make me all that sedintary either.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a lack of good candidates at the moment. Cherchez la jeu. That is my quest. Find a game so absorbing, so enthralling that I forget how very f@#king miserable I am. That is the art of great devs. I don't know if they are aware of the gift they give some of us, but it does not go unappreciated. Bless the talented devs and all the beautiful code weavers for helping us find that serenity to accept. And perhaps, one day the courage to change. And wisdom, well, that's just time and experience, isn't it?

What Is This Bull$h!t?

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 20:20:21 +0200

Let me preface my next statement by saying, I die in video games. I die all the time. And I ain't too proud to do it over and over and over again until I get it right, but I have NEVER died so much as I have playing SEKIRO: SHADOWS DIE TWICE. That in and of itself is a gross understatement; with me playing it should be called SHADOWS DIE A HUNDRED TIMES. Hell, I might reach a thousand before I'm through this game.

But that's okay. I've made my piece with it...or so I thought. And then I met the Blazing Bull. Never have I been so close to chucking my PS4 out the window and reacquainting myself with knitting. And yes, I knit a darn fine pair of socks, thank you very much.

That I struggled with this mini-boss is no surprise. I've had to resort to YouTube videos more for this game than any other. There are some fantastic folks helping out those of us who aren't controller-gods or goddesses as the case may be. And for all the other bosses and mini-bosses, I watched a video, failed once or twice, but then got the technique down and carried on...perhaps not keeping calm, but I did carry on.

But that effing bull. Ohhhhhh, that effing bull. First I tried the technique shown by Tyrranicon https://youtu.be/p9b2El0eJAM which is to deflect the bull's charges to break his posture. Unfortunately, every time I tried I wound up crispy as the burnt french fry at the bottom of the McDonald's bag. Mad respect to Tyrranicon for being able to make that video! Yeah, timing...not my strong suit.

Sooooo, I went back to the drawing board and watched a couple more videos. Polygon Guides helped me the most with their video https://youtu.be/WWNN6yzUqKg that reminded me that 1. Sekiro is a quick little f@#ker so use that speed to chase the bull, not the other way around and 2. That only one end of the bull is actually on fire so best to attack the non-flaming gluteus maximus.

But even with all this wonderful instruction, I would make a wrong dodge or get tangled up with the bull trying to hit him. I kid you not, I died somewhere around TWENTY TIMES trying to kill this stupid bull. Fortunately, all my perseverance (read: sheer stubbornness) paid off and after taking a break to prevent aforementioned chucking of the PS4 out the window into my neighbors tulip garden, I finally killed that mf bull.

I rarely whoop and holler whilst playing. That's more the stuff of my BF and my son, but had my neighbor been working in her tulip garden at the time I vanquished the Blazing Bull, she would have heard a stream of triumphant expletives that I shan't repeat here cuz I'm trying to keep this blog PG-13.

I will admit it's a much bigger thrill to defeat a boss that gives you this much trouble, but at this rate, it'll be Christmas time before I finish this game. Oh well, what else have I got to do anyway?

SEKIRO, Romancing the Football

Sun, 18 Apr 2021 03:08:21 +0200

I won't lie, day one of me playing SEKIRO: SHADOWS DIE TWICE defined the colorful phrase: like a monkey f@#king a football. Some of it is on me. I have no illusions about my abilities as a gamer. I may not be as bad as I was when I started this journey about a year ago, but I am far from good. So far from good that the light from "good" takes a million years to reach me. Okay, maybe not that bad but you get the picture.

That being said, the design of this game is a beast I've never encountered. Never before have I played a game that has me, right from the start, wandering around an open world littered with enemies too copious or too powerful to be taken on. And then there's the stiff penalty for death. Lose half your progress toward your next skill point and oh yeah, all the enemies you managed to defeat have respawned. Enjoy!

I was near tears about the sixth time I died just trying to explore the outskirts of Ashina. Never before have I played a game where most of the strategy for the first few hours is to sprint around and hope you find some loot worth using. The BF assures me it gets better. I hope he's right because I broke my cheapskate rule and splurged on this one. Yep, I paid full price so I gotta finish it.

However, I did manage to find some very helpful YouTube videos that helped tremendously. Shout out to Kyuzo86, PS5Trophies, and Gamer Guru. I'm ending the night with two skill points and the flame vent mod for my prosthetic arm. Imma call that a win and go watch some Netflix. Romancing the football is done for today!

Too Many DAYS GONE by

Fri, 16 Apr 2021 04:28:27 +0200

I'm falling on my sword again, or should that be superior mace? I didn't expect to like this game, much less really get into it, but DAYS GONE hooked me. How can I tell? It's apparent to me that I've crossed some invisible threshold between liking a game and going OCD with it when I don't want to sleep, I don't want to eat, my hygiene goes out the window and my poor dog Freddie sits by the door leash in mouth because I've forgotten to walk him for days.

Since it's been three days since I've showered, I can't remember the last time I bothered to shove a frozen burrito in my mouth and Freddie is giving me that euthanasia-might-have-been-preferable-to-being-adopted-by-you look, it's safe to say I've gone off the deep end for DAYS GONE.Too many days gone by without attending to my responsibilities (pun intended).

I'm not sure how it happened or when it happened, all I know is I spend every waking moment planning how to take down the next horde. Perhaps it's the adrenaline rush of killing literally hundreds of enemies or maybe it is the voice acting and story (it's a lot better than most critics gave it credit for).

The fact that the game is a lot better than its initial reviews makes me wonder if its release was just poorly timed. Studies show zombie related media do better when the economy is crap. Unfortunately (for the game) things weren't all that bad when it came out. Perhaps if DAYS GONE had been released in April 2020, just one year later, it might have been a smash success. Who knows?

I will say this: it's a shame SIE has put the kibosh on a sequel. Then again, I'm sure the economy will have recovered by the time the new game would be ready to release. Fingers crossed, anyway.

Caught Myself Being Sexist, DAYS GONE

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 22:06:57 +0200

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven't reached part 4 of DAYS GONE and want it to be a surprise, STOP READING NOW!

********

Once I reached the reunion of Deacon and Sarah, I was all prepared to rant about her behavior. Her standoffish irritated me. After all Deek had been through to find her, the hope he held out against all odds, all the time he spent out in the shit, never settling down because he COULDN'T make a home without her. And she had the nerve to treat him like a pair of socks she wasn't that fond of? Hmmm.

Finally, Deacon himself comments on it and her reply left me feeling sheepish. Dammit. I caught myself being sexist. Throughout the game, Deek does as he dang well sees fit and I cheered each time. When she didn't run into his arms and abandon something she felt was important, when she wasn't NICE, I took offense to her behavior. Because women are supposed to be nice, aren't they?

The game does a wonderful job of portraying this contrast. In one cut scene she chastises Deacon for being "a d!ck" to Jim the security guard, back when the world was normal, back when she COULD be nice. After the outbreak, all that death, doing unspeakable things to survive, of course she'd be changed! If the game played out any other way, we'd have to call bull$h!t because no one goes through that kind of hell without becoming hardened, jaded, and downright ornery. Sarah sums it up beautifully when she says "Nothing has happened to me that hasn't happened to every f#@king person on this planet."

When I watched that cutscene, I did my best

Homer Simpson, "Doh!" and scrapped the blog post I had been working on. So, there's your proof, in case there was any doubt, women CAN be sexist toward other women. We're just as programed to expect certain behavior out of each other as men are. My sincerest apologies to my entire gender 🙏

Cheesin' the Breaker

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 20:53:07 +0200

It's rare for me to find tips and tricks, easy ways to defeat large enemies, but today I found a way to cheese the breaker at the end of the PLAYING ALL NIGHT mission. After he'd already ripped my arms off the first time I faced him, I decided to explore the area around me before making him aware of my presence. And there is lots of cool stuff for much more skilled players to use:

bear traps, explosive cases, lots of ammo refills and items to craft molotovs with. Unfortunately, I'm just not quick enough or savvy enough a player to make the best use of these items. I also undertook the mission a little under-equipped. I've seen other gamers YouTube videos where they have guns that take massive chunks out of this dude. Alas, I did not go in to this section as well prepared.

I did however, whilst running around like a chicken with its head cut off, find a spot under a rock formation that Deek can slide under easily, but that Big Ugly could not. And then I thought back to the lesson I learned from THE LAST OF US, PART 2 while fighting yet another BIG UGLY at ground zero of that game's outbreak. If you can find a location to attack then escape, attack then escape, you're golden.

I learned that lesson the hard way. I'd killed Ellie over and over again for nearly an hour when the BF came in to check on me. I was frustrated and thinking I'd never get past that mission. He smiled and patted me on the head because, despite the fact that I'm older than he is, in terms of years gaming he's the old, wise sage. At least when it comes to more recent consoles. Yes, I played PACMAN and SPACE INVADERS and FROGGER and SONIC and the original LEGEND OF ZELDA, but those games are a far cry from the complex beasts that we have available today. And I took decades off from gaming to start a career and raise a family. So yeah, it doesn't always occur to me to find an area best suited for me to do some damage and then hide for a bit. Once I employed that strategy, I beat TLOU2 boss pretty easily.

It's funny that gaming is like any activity you undertake in life, the more you do it, the more problems you solve, the better equipped you are to apply that knowledge in a similar but different situation.

So here it is, most likely the one and only "how to" video you'll ever see on my blog:

How to Cheese the Breaker with only Lil Stubby PLAYING ALL NIGHT, DAYS GONE.

Of Course the Zombies Can Swim

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 20:44:13 +0200

Today just isn't my day. Woke up this afternoon to discover my AC isn't working. JOY. Seems like whenever I start feeling a little bit better about things, life says, "Nah, not a fan," and then sucker punches me.

Too warm and cranky at the thought of having to replace a heat pump, I retreated to the haven of my gamer room and fired up the PS4. DAYS GONE should take my mind off my troubles. At least I'm not trying to survive a zombie apocalypse, right?

Almost immediately I came across a horde of freakers and I thought I'll make a break for the water. Zombies can't swim, can they? Apparently in DAYS GONE they can. Or at least the water didn't seem to slow them down. And it seems as though Deek cannot swim. So... yeah. Not the most auspicious start to my gaming day.

One bit of good news: my Virtual Acoustic UH3 3D Surround Sound earbuds arrived from Amazon. They're charging as I write this. So excited 😀 I've got a distinct gaming handicap...no, I'm not talking about my lack of reflexes or failing eyesight. It's the very annoying fact that every gaming headset I've ever tried gives me a headache after a few hours so I've gotta use earbuds instead. It finally occurred to me to search gaming earbuds on Amazon. Can't wait to try them out.

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07PV8ZX98/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glc_fabc_VAM6KX9Z7G5SHX5919TM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Though It's April, May the Fourth Be with You

Sun, 11 Apr 2021 06:38:31 +0200

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

Seriously, big, hulking, black cape wearing spoilers ahead.

Darth Vader?!!? Sweet merciful crap! DARTH VADER!!! I did not see that coming. I was so thrilled and terrified to see the ultimate man in black that I paused the game, ran into my BF's gamer room and wailed, "Darth Vader?! They expect me to fight Darth MF Vader?!" (I'm sure you can fill in the MF part).

To which he replied, "It's a Star Wars game, why wouldn't you expect Darth Vader to show up?"

Okay, fair point, BUT there are lots of franchise stories and offshoots that do not include Herr Vader so in my defense, it was perfectly reasonable to assume we wouldn't see such an iconic villain in this game. It's not like Cal Kestis is canon or anything. And when I say canon I mean the original three movies, not all the fan fiction or worldbuilding that happened post- RETURN OF THE JEDI.

My heart leapt into my throat as soon as his patented mechanical breathing started. Poor Trilla. But this is why we don't funk around with the Darkside, boys and girls. Everyone knows what happens when you fail Lord Vader for the last time!

I'll be honest, I barely beat The Second Sister in the final showdown, so I knew I didn't have the stims or the reflexes to square up with Vader. I was so damn relieved when Cal said to BD it was time to make a run for it. Of course that's after DV choked me out on my first try because I missed the force-glow around the cannister thingy behind Vader. **SMH**

My second attempt to escape was successful. And the cutscene of the face-off between Cere and Vader actually got me out of my gamer chair cheering. Sidenote: kudos to Scott Lawrence for voicing a damn fine Darth Vader!

As I've said since I started this game, despite the foibles, despite some of the limitations of FALLEN ORDER, I loved how much of the original mythos and magic the game captured. It's a simple tale of David triumphing over Goliath through sheer determination. A very satisfying gaming experience, indeed. And I know it's only April, but May the fourth be with you!

Reflecting on DAYS GONE

Sun, 11 Apr 2021 00:32:39 +0200

I'm sure by now my gaming habits are pretty apparent. Unless it's a much anticipated, big, fat, juicy gaming title, I don't play the newest of the new games. My inheritance was more of a ramen and generic cola for life kind of situation, not cavier and champagne, that being said it has given me the time to game all I want for the foreseeable future as long as I stick to on sale and free titles. So that's what I do most of the time.

I'm diving into DAYS GONE since, you guessed it, it's one of the PlayStation Plus April titles. I have a special affection for this game because it reminds me of the beginning of my relationship with the BF. He's a hardcore gamer and copped this title as soon as it came out. I remember watching him play longing to take the controller, still too repressed (and in debt) to spend my days gaming as I damned well pleased.

I also didn't have a console of my own then either. In fact, my PS4 Slim is the last gift my dad got me before he passed away. Ahhh, but that is blog topic for another day. DAYS GONE, though the BF got bored of it and abandoned the game without beating it, still reminds me of that long lost gamer girl stirring inside me. The one who wore Daisy Dukes and thigh high socks and oversized sweatshirts and read Tolkien and knew every secret level and shortcut in Super Mario Bros. This game called to me like a siren's song as I watched him bash in zombie heads and sneak past security guards. A lot has happened since its release on April 26, 2019. Some good, much of it bad. And the big question is: Will I have the patience to finish it?

I suspect I will simply due to the actor playing Deacon. As soon as I clocked his voice I googled it to confirm, it's Sam Witwer! I loved, loved, loved him as Aiden in the US version of BEING HUMAN. I suddenly feel kinda giggly and shy around Deacon, which is weird because the game is an RPG which means I am Deek and therefore I'm feeling flirtatious with myself. Hmmm. Very strange situation indeed.

Wherever You Go There You Are

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 11:54:27 +0200

Platforming fails aside, I'm getting as much enjoyment out of STAR WARS: FALLEN ORDER as I hoped I would. The message of Cal's journey is spot on with the current struggles in my life. He starts as a broken young man who's lost everything, who is steeped in guilt, fear and shame but then slowly picks up the pieces and rebuilds himself into the Jedi he was destined to be.

2020 was a terrible for so many and unfortunately, it rained loss upon me the likes of which I'd never experienced. The life I'd spent decades building simply evaporated. Relationships, my home, my job, and a good portion of my immediate family gone in what felt like the blink of an eye. So this year has been all about trying to feel like myself again and reengaging with activities I know I'm good at and that bring me joy. In this way, Cal's odyssey really hit home. And once again I must applaud Cameron Monaghan for his outstanding performance. I think it's safe to say he acted himself into the Star Wars universe as a permanent and laudable addition.

But all that melancholy stuff aside, the game is just very, very cool. Yes, it was a little heavy on the circuitous routes to get to objectives but once the game gifted me with a double lightsaber, all was forgiven. Not to mention all the awesome Force related abilities and the plethora of finishers which helped me sink deep into the RPG aspect of the game. Im about two-thirds of the way through FALLEN ORDER and I can really feel the growth of the character and I'm having a wonderful time opening cans of whoop a$$ on my enemies.

Fingers-crossed that EA gave this game a strong finish.

Help Me Obi Wan!

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 06:05:59 +0200

OMG, OMG, OMG, Obi Wan shows up briefly in the holocron message Cere gives Cal. Made me a little misty for the good ol' days when there were only three STAR WARS movies...hell even the time when there were only SIX Star Wars movies. Side note: Ewan McGregor made one sexy-ass Obi Wan and I would have darthed Hayden Christensen's vader any day, darkside or no...but I digress.

This bit of nostalgia aside, the game is starting kind of slow in my opinion. It's got this UNCHARTED or TOMB RAIDER feel about the exploration: solving puzzles trying to get from point A to B. But if I wanted this kind of gameplay, I would simply play UNCHARTED or TOMB RAIDER. When I think STAR WARS I imagine lightsabers, combat with Stormtroopers, weird alien life forms (some cute, some not) and sassy droids (BTW, BD-1 is adorable). I don't think of a game that is, this far, very platforming heavy. And as my former blog entry and accompanying video show, platforming is not my friend. But I shall reserve judgement once I get to later levels to see if this is just a way to make the lower levels more interesting.

And speaking of more interesting, I think the forced exploration would be more satisfying and less tedious if there was more loot in the game, but thus far, the loot boxes have been pretty few and far between and nothing exciting when Cal does stumble across one. So far it's been mostly cosmetics.

I will say that the finishers are pretty damn cool. I feel like quite the bada$$ though I know I'm not one. But I've got plenty of game to go so we shall see. I really want to love STAR WARS: FALLEN ORDER. C'mon EA, don't let me down!