I think many gay men learn very early in life that standing still is dangerous. When you grow up feeling different, watched, or judged, movement becomes survival. You keep moving socially, professionally, emotionally, sometimes physically, because stopping means giving the world a chance to look too closely. Over time, that movement becomes a habit. We work harder, party hard...

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to fear midlife. The phrase “midlife crisis” gets tossed around like a warning label, as if reaching your forties and fifties automatically sends your life into chaos. A sports car, a bad decisions, some desperate attempt to feel young again. But the more I’ve lived through these years, the more I’ve come to believe that the phrase miss...