Futility Closet

“When asked by a disciple if there were one single word which could serve as a principle of conduct for life, Confucius replied, ‘Perhaps the word reciprocity will do. Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.'” — Analects

balneal
adj. pertaining to a warm bath

Annie, Betty, Carrie, Darla, and Eve all have the same birthday, but all are different ages. On their shared birthday:

When Whistler’s Mother’s Picture’s frame
Split, that sad morn, in two,
Your tense words scorched me like a flame —
You shrieked, “Ah, glue! Get glue!”

O Glue! O God! there was not glue
Enough in all the feet
Of all the kine the wide world through
To hold you to me, Sweet!

—

This baffling message illustrates a cipher adopted by the Union Army in 1862:

TO GEORGE C. MAYNARD, Washington

Regulars ordered of my to public out suspending received 1862 spoiled thirty I dispatch command of continue of best otherwise worst Arabia my command discharge duty of my last for Lincoln September period your from sense shall duties the until Seward a...