Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Goalkeeping mistakes that rhyme with the player who pounces on them, a classic goal-commentating phrase gets some overdue analysis, David Seaman keeps his chuckle rate ticking over at Lord's, pondering the actual purpose of Dusan Vlahovic, Fabrizio Romano drops a bombshell h...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Charlie's third child in six years counts as a "quickfire hat-trick", weekend Carabao Cup ties as the domestic curtain-raiser, a manager refuses to answer a non-question, a nuanced language-barrier issue for Middlesbrough’s new goalkeeper, very mundane swap deals, th...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a c...

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surpris...

A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mir...