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Fast Film Reviews

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Project Hail Mary
Rating 9/10 Project Hail Mary is the kind of movie people claim Hollywood doesn’t make anymore.  It’s a large-scale, crowd-pleasing science fiction rooted in a belief in humanity.  It even introduces an environmental angle that attributes Earth’s crisis to a cosmic anomaly rather than the usual lecture of how “humans are the worst.” The mood […]

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Reminders of Him
Rating 4/10 In just a few years, Colleen Hoover has gone from bestselling author to a force in Hollywood.  Her novels follow a similar path carved out by other authors like Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook), John Green (The Fault in Our Stars), and Stephenie Meyer (Twilight).  Turn sentimental but highly readable works into box office […]

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Undertone
Rating 5/10 Do you enjoy scary flicks that spend 80% of their runtime slowly building exposition, only to unload a dump of excitement in the final 20% that doesn’t make any sense?  Then, have I got a movie for you! Evy (Nina Kiri) is a young woman who returns to her childhood home to care […]

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The Bride!
Rating 5/10 Exclamation points in movie titles suggest a certain desperation to me.  Like the studio was worried audiences might disregard the name unless it literally shouts at them from the poster.  Occasionally, the confidence is justified: Oliver!, Oklahoma!, Help!, and Airplane! have all aged well.  The Bride!  arrives with the same breathless punctuation, though […]

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Hoppers
Rating 5/10 Pixar’s Hoppers is one of the strangest movies the studio has ever produced.  It’s loud, chaotic, and constantly shifting gears between an environmental sermon and cartoon lunacy.  It throws so many ideas at the viewer that it never decides on what kind of story it wants to tell. Mabel Tanaka (Piper Curda) grows […]

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