Black women keep screaming, “There are no good Black men!”

But then a song like Yung Miami’s “Spend Dat” comes out and suddenly the culture tells the truth about the type of Black man it actually celebrates.

The scammer. The street dude. The man with questionable money. The man flashing cash, buying bags, paying bills, and spending recklessly on women.

THAT man becomes desirable.

Meanwhile, the hardworking Black man with a regular job is called broke. The responsible man building his future is boring. The man trying to save money doesn't have enough motion. The emotionally available man gets called soft. The good man gets overlooked because he doesn't have enough followers, enough jewelry, enough designer clothes, or enough money to fund a lifestyle he can't afford.

But when the scammer goes to jail, the street dude cheats, the toxic relationship falls apart, or the money disappears, suddenly the conversation becomes...

“WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD BLACK MEN?”

Maybe you ignored them.

On this episode of the Black Men's Mental Health Podcast, Casanova Williams dives into Yung Miami's controversial record and the bigger cultural problem nobody wants to address: We complain about negative Black men while making negative Black men the most desirable men in our culture.

Let's stop pretending music has absolutely no influence. We can't scream that representation matters when it's positive, then suddenly claim “it's just entertainment” when the message is destructive.

Which one is it?

For decades, parts of Black culture have glorified drug dealers, scammers, street violence, fast money, and toxic relationships. Now we act confused about why young Black men believe those are the fastest ways to gain money, attention, respect, and women.

Young men are watching.

They see who gets ignored.

They see who gets celebrated.

They see who women post.

They see who gets called broke.

They see who gets called corny.

And they definitely see which men get rewarded with attention.

Then society turns around and asks, “Why aren't Black men doing better?”

Maybe because we've created a culture where doing the wrong thing can make a Black man more desirable than doing everything right.

This isn't just about Yung Miami.

She simply made a song that exposed an uncomfortable truth.

The real problem is a culture that says it wants educated, emotionally healthy, financially responsible Black men while constantly putting the spotlight on the exact opposite.

You can't keep choosing chaos and then complain that you can't find peace.

You can't glorify scammers and complain about financial instability.

You can't celebrate street men and complain about violence.

You can't call good men boring and then ask where all the husbands are.

At some point, Black women have to be included in the accountability conversation about the type of Black men our culture creates, rewards, and desires.

Maybe there isn't a shortage of good Black men.

Maybe there's a shortage of people who actually value them.

Let's have the conversation everybody is going to be mad about.

Black Men's Mental Health Podcast with Casanova Williams

Warning: Accountability may hurt your feelings.

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Also Divorce Not An Option Podcast. A podcast and vlog about marriage and talking about navigating healthy relationships and marriage.

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Check out our radio station "Black Men's Mental Health Radio" on The Culture Radio Network at www.thecultureradio.com.