A mini-essay about imagination and creativity. Insights into the value of podfobling…

It’s time to reclaim our humanity and dignity through deliberate action, not just words, and with a heightened sense of urgency demanded by the atrocities witnessed. True dignity is expressed by acknowledging the human condition, the suffering, the imperfection; the missteps, and the potential for real change.

Outrage: NOUN; an extremely vicious or violent act; a deep insult or offense; great anger, indignation, etc. aroused by such an act or offense

Anti-Semitism: hostility toward or discrimination against Jews as a religious or racial group. The term anti-Semitism was coined in 1879 by the German agitator Wilhelm Marr to designate the anti-Jewish campaigns underway in central Europe at that time. Nazi anti-Semitism, which culminated in the Holocaust, had a racist dimension in that it targeted Jews because of their supposed biological characteristics—even those who had themselves converted to other religions or whose parents were converts. This variety of anti-Jewish racism dates only to the emergence of so-called “scientific racism” in the 19th century and is different in nature from earlier anti-Jewish prejudices. The persistence of anti-Semitism into the 21st century and the marked rise in anti-Semitic incidents in the early decades of the century have prompted new consideration of how to define and combat the phenomenon, which has both incorporated old tropes and taken on new forms.•

The Insidious Creep of Antisemitism*

The year 2022 was barely underway when a British Pakistani man took a rabbi and three others hostage during a Shabbat service in Colleyville, Texas.  From there, antisemitism continued to spread, with the number of antisemitic hate crimes in New York, for example, more than doubling from 2021. To discuss New York City’s efforts to combat the alarming rise of Jewish hatred, Hassan Naveed, executive director of New York City’s Office for the Prevention of Hate Crimes (OPHC), joined AJC’s People of the Pod to explain how his office coordinates agencies across the city to curb the rise of antisemitic hate crimes.

New York City was one of more than 30 other major cities that did not report its 2021 hate crime statistics to the FBI, limiting the nation’s understanding of how widespread incidents have been, especially as anti-Israel protests increasingly targeted American Jews. Efforts to isolate pro-Israel students also proliferated on college campuses, such as the University of Vermont and the University of California Berkeley Law School. (Read more below.)

Rapper Kanye West, also known as Ye, posted antisemitic tropes for his social media audience of more than 50 million, shared antisemitic conspiracy theories during TV and podcast interviews, exalted Adolf Hitler, and, on social media, threatened violence against Jews. White supremacist Nick Fuentes joined Ye for part of his media tour, including a meeting with former President Donald Trump.

Meanwhile, Brooklyn Nets basketball star Kyrie Irving promoted an antisemitic film and book to his more than four million followers on Twitter. Titled “Hebrews to Negroes: Wake Up Black America,” the book and film rooted in radical Hebrew Israelite ideology deny the Holocaust and blame Jews for the transatlantic slave trade. His endorsement made both items bestsellers on Amazon, prompting an AJC petition urging their removal.

Where’s the Outrage?

Here are just a few examples of “in the headlines” outrage expressed in recent years:

• The #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to the widespread problem of sexual harassment and assault.
• The Black Lives Matter movement, which has protested against police brutality and racial injustice.
• The protests against the COVID-19 pandemic were sparked by concerns about the government’s response to the crisis.

Outrage is a powerful emotion that can be used to motivate people to take action. When people are outraged, they are more likely to speak out against injustice and demand change.

So where are the headlines? Where are the protests? Where is the outrage against Jewish hate?

Our question is not just about the media or the headlines —where’s the outrage from across our communities? Why aren’t these voices being heard?

Tell Your Story

We believe in the power of storytelling to raise awareness and to humanize the issue for wider audiences. Anti-Semitic incidents are occurring every day and by sharing these stories we hope to shine a light on the impact anti-Semitism has on individuals and communities around the world.

If you have been personally affected by anti-Semitism, please share your story with us below so that we may share it with the world. Your voice matters. Do not remain silent.

Help us help you by amplifying your voice across the world. It is only then, through awareness and outrage that real change can happen.

*Courtesy of Brittanica
** Courtesy of the American Jewish Committee (AJC)

Editor’s Note: Read more below and please add your voice/bring your story to our upcoming SALON 360° discussion.

Confronting Antisemitism: It’s Time to Stand Up

There are two areas in my life that are new to me; Hospice Care and cooking Okra. Over the last year, my father has resided in a nursing home. That was a tough decision, one because my favorite Aunt was placed in a nursing home years ago, and it was a poor experience that I would not want anyone to go through. At that time I knew nothing about nursing homes and had never walked in one, and I was floored by what I witnessed, the treatment of our elderly was jarring. All I had to go on was that experience. Unfortunately, she passed away in a place that was deemed a cultural shame to place her in, to begin with.

When I was told that he had a terminal diagnosis, there were truly no other options. What could I do? I felt helpless!

I remember during that time researching, making calls, and trying to restructure my life so she didn’t have to stay there, the stress was an enormous weight. I thought that was a one-and-done experience. I never would have imagined that many years later, my father would be hospitalized, and the only option was placing him in a nursing home. When I was told that he had a terminal diagnosis, there were truly no other options. What could I do? I felt helpless! Here I was again in a cultural war within myself about what family, illness, and end of life meant. As each week and day passed by, my father’s body was changing and weakening. By then, I only knew this, my father was loved by us as a family, and those who cared for him in the nursing home loved him.

I will say this, in order to emotionally survive a nursing home experience, you have to close your eyes, and ears, and tame your tongue, that in itself is grueling because you are at the mercy of everyone who cares for your loved one, from the staff who bill you, the staff who serve the food, the staff who wash the clothes, etc. I’ve learned even with those emotional hardships, you begin to understand what the staff faces each day, more residents than workers, more hands to hold, bodies to wash, and medicine to provide. Most times you are a solo staff member or a duo, trying to make it happen. How sad!

One particular night I spoke to a nurse about my father’s complaint regarding his foot hurting and the nurse decided to have an open conversation about Hospice Care. Now you have to understand the nurse who spoke to me about Hospice Care did not look like me, and she didn’t understand our differences. She clearly was raised to believe Hospice Care was and is a good thing, and I was raised to believe, you don’t put loved ones away, that it’s shameful, and Hospice Care, is deemed allowing people to just outright die. I didn’t understand the process, nor did I believe there was any value.I did a little eye roll which I’m sure she didn’t understand. Black women have their own non-verbal language, an eye roll can mean I’ve had enough, this is getting on my nerves, can you believe this is happening, who left the refrigerator door open, did someone eat my ice cream, or she is seriously dating him, or a I miss you why didn’t you call, and the universal, we don’t put our loved ones away in nursing homes, and Hospice, what are you trying to do kill my father.

This was my second experience so I carried guilt that I couldn’t do anything, other than choose a nursing home for my father where people would love him, and let’s face it, it was the end of a long work day, and being a caretaker at the same time, yes eyes rolled.  Though the conversation was not convenient for my cultural experience, or the exhaustion I was feeling at the time, it was needed. I understood later that she was lovingly advocating for my father, and I did pray that my father would be loved there, and so that was her expression to him.

It’s a generational mindset about Nursing Homes, and what we, I, as African American women believe about end-of-life care. Generationally loved ones passed in the living room where the family provided care, we talked about Jesus, sang, ate, people came to see the body in the home, we all knew the neighborhood undertaker, the funeral home knew the neighborhood and neighbors, Mr. Jones walked in to tell you the undertaker would be late because he had to pick up Mr. Johnson, Ms. Mary brought a cake that she made herself because somehow she knew the time was near, the Pastor in the neighborhood sat in the house with the family, prayed and preached a mini-sermon, family, and friends were there as they talked about your loved one, who was basically laying or sitting there, then a mourner who would appear screaming or crying louder than the family, it was normal in a comforting way.

When I looked around my father’s nursing home while visiting him, and witnessing the end of life, the suffrage I noticed seemed unnecessary.

I decided our generational story had to be different for his sake. I read and researched everything I could, I asked tons of questions, and I made the call to place my dad in hospice. Painful, yes, did I just betray an entire race of people? Did I make the right decision for his life?

My first meetings were about music therapy, family support, taking care of myself, Pastoral care, trusting the process, and yup, my occasional eye roll. I thought this is why I go to church and have Jesus, because it sounded like an overly feel-good commercial with a bad ending. I literally said to myself with the eye roll, here we go, the violin, let’s hold hands, breathe, snap our fingers for the poetic moments, and then scene. My mind could not fathom or even envision what hospice was to be.

Hospice to me meant during every visit with my dad I decided he could eat as much junk food as he wanted, drink soda until he belched a song, and when he requested Okra with rice I would cook it. Now hear me out. I didn’t grow up eating Okra, I just heard about it when my older relatives mentioned it, I can’t wait to eat some Okra. It was somehow a delicacy that you had to cook right, or you were talked about in this way, if Roxanne made that Okra I’m not eating it. Cooking Okra for my dad felt like the newness of hospice, I didn’t know anything about it, I didn’t want to know, and it felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know the process of how or when it would end. It’s amazing how you can equate something so simple to a life-altering experience. Every week I ask myself, did you make the right decision? Just like I asked myself, did I season the Okra right, did I cook it well enough, and would someone eat the Okra I prepared besides my father?

What I now know is this, Hospice Care is a loving song to sing to my father, and weekly interactions with my father’s hospice care team have been the blessing my father and I need.

The reality is I can’t be there all the time, if you work outside or even inside of your home, you are constantly juggling work, and life, with a sprinkle of very few people caring, that’s where the burnout lives. Hospice Care allows me to breathe when I feel like I’m suffocating from the pain and the process. As a family, knowing a music therapist is there to soothe him, a social worker to ease our fears, Pastoral care to hear my father’s stories while he smiles, his Hospice nurse who bends down to hear my father’s whispers, was it the right decision? Yes!

In this life unfortunately we will have to do things we don’t want to for the betterment of someone else, whether placing someone on Hospice Care or cooking Okra. If the betterment is for another person you love and not the betterment for you to feel good, the decision becomes greater than your need to be the center of someone else’s experience. My father coasting out of this life is not betterment, but my father having the dignity to fly on his terms, is the advocacy his Hospice Care team, CNA’s and Nurses fight for each day. Sadly, I thought to myself, what if the person who didn’t look like me allowed that moment to hinder her words, where would my father be in this moment? Where would I be? What if his care team, who don’t look like me, didn’t have the difficult loving discussions with me?  Where would we be? What if those who didn’t look at me, I didn’t allow them to comfort me? Where would I be?

Hospice Care has allowed me and my family to see a world we never knew, to be educated on the very thing we unconsciously feared, to walk with my father on his journey, for the people in the back of the room, yes his journey, to feel the breeze on days when we sit together and he’s silent because he’s transitioning to a place where there is no pain or cancer, we have understood better each day, why Hospice is needed. A new generational mindset formed when I allowed myself to hear the gentle words of that nurse, by allowing those who care for my father to comfort me. Hospice Care has by far been one of the hardest moments in my life, but a moment when I can love my father with no boundaries. One day, I hope it’s just “Humans Transitioning another Human Care”

Hospice is not the end of my love commitment to my father, but it has been the love letter I needed to write to him, without words, but actions. I am sure the days when my father goes inward, and when the world becomes smaller, he is and I am thankful for the sacrifices of the nurses, CNAs, and hospice team who care for him. As if Okra could speak for itself when it met my father on his terms of how he wanted his end to be, his journey, it was because I opened a hospice door and closed a generational mindset.

Professionals are well-skilled while suffering from negative beliefs and trauma bonds that affect their performance and inner well-being.

Our emotions, beliefs, and spiritual self-actualization drive our skills and outcomes.

When I speak at companies about the development of self to enhance performance and inner-wellbeing, I found that most people are stuck at the heart level. Holding the past responsible for the current outcomes with a heart filled with resentment, anger, judgment, and past hurts.

As the heart is the manifestation center of what we become and achieve, we cannot mask our emotions, as they speak through us. These emotions block our future and hold us in bondage in pain and suffering.

It’s essential to recognize and evaluate our beliefs to understand their impact on our career performance, health, relationships, and home life. By finding forgiveness and releasing the past and the people involved, you give yourself the opportunity not to live in the shadow of others but to set yourself free to step into your full potential and purpose.

How often do we disempower ourselves by holding onto what others have said and done to us?

Going to work while having unresolved personal issues, puts you in automatic driving, instead of taking the steering wheel of your life and driving yourself to new heights as we cannot create new outcomes or positives while fostering the negative.

Herewith are a few tips on how to overcome negative beliefs that are affecting your life at all levels.

1. Challenging and reframing limiting beliefs is a powerful way to shift our mindset and unlock our true potential.
2. By replacing negative beliefs with positive and empowering ones, we can cultivate a growth mindset, embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, and approach our careers with confidence, enthusiasm, and a drive to excel.
3. Developing self-awareness, practicing mindfulness, and seeking support through coaching or mentorship are effective strategies for uncovering and transforming limiting beliefs.
4. Having Gratitude takes you to the next altitude!!
5. Fostering grudges takes you down the pit of self-inflicted hell, keeping you in the loop of repeated cycles therefore it is important to understand the root of your beliefs leading to patterns of behaviour.
6. Finding your purpose will elevate your performance in all areas, develop a healthy mindset, and lead you to feel good at everything you achieve!
7. Appoint a mentor, healer, or holistic coach with experience in all areas of healing and business to assist you to align with who you truly are, and how to bring your authentic self forward in everything you do.

In summary, our beliefs shape our thoughts, actions, and outcomes in our careers. By cultivating positive beliefs, challenging limitations, and adopting a growth mindset, we can elevate our career performance, achieve greater success, and unlock our full potential.

Palena Neale is a highly experienced leadership coach and educator. She has designed and delivered leadership programs across four continents and founded unabridged – a leadership development practice providing bespoke coaching, mentoring, and learning for greater personal, professional, and social impact. She runs leadership coaching programs for women and hosts a women’s leadership workshop series. Palena lectures on MBA programs and delivers training for UN leaders as well as corporate clients. Palena holds a Ph.D. in Gender and International Relations and is a regular contributor to Forbes, Psychology Today, and Harvard Business Review, and has been featured in numerous podcasts.

Hey, there! AmyK here. At the risk of being a skosh gross, I have a question for you. Watch this quick video and see if this experience has ever happened to you.

Here’s to effectively resolving the annoying distractions in your life.

Hugs,
AmyK

EDITOR’S NOTE: ENJOY PRIOR PARTS HERE

Olivia arrived home just in time for dinner, which Terry had ordered from Bark Barbecue.

Half an hour later they were sitting in the dining room with a plate filled with ribs and baked potatoes and bowls of Caesar salad that Terry claimed was his only culinary capability.

“So we met with everybody today and figured out an action plan. You can look it over when you get a chance.” Terry said to Olivia.

“Are you happy with it?”

Both Terry and Shawna nodded.

“Well, then I guess we’re good to go. I will confirm it with the Senator and get you a time and place to meet.”

The Senator in question was Virgil Roman, who was chairman of the communications committee and far and away best target they could have picked. Olivia believed every bit as strongly as her grandson that a fire needed to be lit in Washington. So why not light it under the biggest tree?

Shawna got to repeat her life story another time for Olivia, who marvelled at Shawna’s determination. “You know it’s never been easy for a woman in this country. You have to fight tooth and nail for everything you get, and then you have to fight even harder to hold onto it.”

“I’ve always been pretty scrappy. So that doesn’t scare me. But I’d be lying if I told you I was a bit frightened of getting caught.”

“Well, if you are as talented as Terry says you are, I don’t think you need to worry about much. Besides, I don’t believe there’s a jury anywhere that would convict us of anything.”

“Well, let’s hope you’re right.”

What Shawna then found out was that Olivia had already been to Washington and taken her old friend Virgil out to dinner. She knew that Virgil was not going to run for the Senate again and really liked the idea of going out with a bang. And this project suited him to a T on both the political and personal levels.

“The other thing that should allay your fears is that Jackson has already done some research on possible outcomes.” Terry said. “He figures that as long as we stay anonymous, nobody will come after us. Because the real target would be the Senator and what happened  to him”

Shawna was floored. “You people have that much power?”

Olivia just smiled. “To quote the great Garth Brooks, ‘I’ve got friends in low places.’”

After hearing that Shawna found the little nagging voice in her head go silent. And for the first time since this whole thing started she actually felt relaxed.

____________________

Three days later, Shawna and Terry drove to the Charles River Country Club, in West Boston, where Senator Roman had agreed to be videoed for the AI construct that they would produce. Before they entered the building, they both activated small digital cameras that hung on silver chains around their necks. This would allow them to video the entire setup process, which is something the Senator insisted on.

Senator Roman was a fit sixty-four years old. He reminded Terry of the golfer Jack Nicklaus, especially with his Lacoste shirt and dark slacks.

Senator Roman had reserved a private meeting room. He instructed his security people to stay outside while he did the interview. Terry and Shawna and their gear were both thoroughly searched and then allowed to enter the room. Introductions were made and hands were shook.

As per the plan, the Senator changed into a suit jacket, white shirt and tie. Shawna set up a small set of lights and had the Senator sit in a chair at the table. On the wall behind him, Terry hung a green screen.

“Thank you for doing this, Senator.” Terry said. “If this works out it will make your job of getting AI legislation passed that much easier.”

“I hear you son. You know I knew your folks. Met them at a fundraiser that Olivia threw for me back when I was goin’ for my third term.”

“Oh yeah. I miss them a lot, sir.”

“They were good people, so you should be proud of them. You should also know that when my term is over next year, I’ll be settlin’ down in Plymouth. Found a nice house right in your neighbourhood. So I might show up for dinner some nights.”

Terry just smiled because he knew that the Senator and Olivia were much more than just old friends.

Once Shawna had the camera locked in place. She dug into her bag and pulled out two sheets of paper.

“Senator, I’d like you to read each short paragraph. Then speak it back to me looking at the camera. There are about two dozen short paragraphs. We’ll do a couple of different takes of each section. Just take them a little different each time.”

Gotcha.” The senator was no stranger to speaking from a script. He knew exactly what to do and exactly how to do it. “And that’s all you want me to do?”

“Yes sir. The paragraphs give us all the various lip movements, and the sound recording will allow us to emulate your voice.”

“Goddamn, that’s pretty scary.”

“Yes, sir, it is.” Terry said. “That’s why we’re doing this. When we’re finished you won’t be able to tell it wasn’t you.”

“And you’re stickin’ to the script Jack and I worked out, right?”

“Yes sir. We’re just thrilled that you agreed to be part of this.”

“Well, something’s gotta happen. Maybe this will break the goddam log jam.”

“We hope so too, sir.”

They spent the better part of the next hour doing the lines, in both passive and aggressive voices. The Senator amazed them with his ability to look at the lines and play them back with ease and uncanny accuracy, and a good range of inflection.

Within an hour the Senator was shaking their hands and wishing them God’s speed.

As they were packing up their gear, Shawna said. “Your family must have a lot of power. Getting a Senator to participate in something like this is no small feat.”

“I think he did this partially because he liked Gram. But also, if we pull this off, it’s gonna be the biggest crown jewel in his legacy and he knows that too. Hell, we might even get a whole chapter in his book.”

As they packed up, Shawna, who had been a loner pretty much all her life, finally felt as if she was part of something. It was a strange new feeling. But it wasn’t even remotely unpleasant.

____________________

The next two weeks were a blur, as they worked to assemble the AI rendition of the Senator’s pronouncement. Shawna worked on digitizing and synching the Senator’s voice to the narrative that he himself had written. Terry drove to the Senator’s home in North Reading and photographed his study, which is where they would set the piece. Finally after thirteen days and almost as many nights they had what Shawna declared to be a fine cut.

They transferred it to an M-Peg file and sat down to watch the fruits of their labour.

The Senator’s AI generated image was sitting at his desk in his North Boston home.

“Good evening. As many of you already know
I will be retiring at the end of my current term
in office. But what you may not know is that I
will retire a multimillionaire. The insider
information that I have been privy to as a
result of the various committee positions
I have held over the years has enabled me
to make a number of highly lucrative stock trades.
These insider trades have allowed me
to amass a fortune of more than sixty-three
million. I am baring my soul because
I can no longer live with the guilt.
I would much rather face the legal
consequences than carry this secret
through my retirement. Thank you.”

When it was over Shawna and Terry looked at each other, and realized they were now swimming in the deep end of the pool. When they were finished, they drove up to Boston to show it to the Senator.

“My God, you kids are really something.” If I didn’t know better, I’d swear it was the real thing.”

“Yes sir.”, Terry said. We’re quite happy with it. But, in truth, it was mostly Shawna’s effort that made it happen.”

“Well, this ought to really shake things up.”

“Yes sir. That’s the whole idea. And by the way, we are putting together the short piece on the making of this video. I’ll bring that to you once it’s finished.”

____________________

On the drive back down to Plymouth, they talked a lot about what they would do next. Terry’s thinking had changed somewhat. He was willing was to let this play out and see who gets interested in working with them. He was convinced that America was a true ‘Everybody loves a winner’ country and he felt that there would be more than enough opportunity coming their way once people found out what they had done.

But Shawna stuck to her guns. She was convinced that their identities needed to be kept totally secret. She was also convinced that with the state America was in today, nothing good could come of anyone knowing that they were participating in a hoax of this magnitude.

Terry thought about it for quite a while. He played through every negative scenario he could envision. And at the end of that little intellectual exercise, he came to realize that Shawna was absolutely right.

So over the next couple days, they finished the ‘How it was made’ video, disguising their voices and blurring their faces. They drove it on up to Boston and dropped it off with the Senator, who looked at it three or four times, then just smiled and thanked them for doing it.

“Just so you know, sir.” Terry said, “We have disguised our identities on the video for a reason.  Shawna was concerned, and I agree, that while there wouldn’t be any legal issues, there might be any number of people who would be angered by our participation in it.”

“I can understand that, son. The worst it could possibly get in that regard is for you to have to testify before whatever committee is appointed to investigate this. I’m confident it won’t come to that. But these are crazy times and the people who control Congress right now are the craziest of them all.”

____________________

That evening, they met up with Shawna’s parents Gary and Denise, at a place called Monument in Charlestown. Shawna told Terry it was their favourite place to eat on the rare occasions when they ate out. A lot of the dinner conversation had to do with sports. Because Boston was one of America’s great sports meccas. Fortunately for Terry, his dad was a bit of a sports lover and took Terry to see the Red Sox and the Celtics quite often. Terry was not a fan. But like any resident of the Greater Boston area, he followed the ups and downs of all the major league teams and managed to fake a half-decent conversation with Gary. All Shawna’s mom wanted to be sure of was that her daughter was okay. Shawna assured her that she was taking good care of herself.

Later that night, as they were driving back to Plymouth, Shawna said. “I think they felt like I was auditioning you.”

“So were you?” Terry asked. It was the first time the notion of anything romantic between them was in the air.

“I don’t know. But if I was, I’m pretty sure you passed.”

They rolled along quietly for several miles. Even though the notion of a romance was cryptic at best they both started to realize that maybe there was something there.

Episode Summary

When you’re ready to learn about the meaning and power of the story I can help.

Episode Notes

Hello to you listening in Pender Island, BC, Canada! Coming to you from Whidbey Island, Washington this is Stories From Women Who Walk with 60 Seconds for Wednesdays on Whidbey and your host, Diane Wyzga.

I will tell you something about stories. They didn’t come first. They came second. What do I mean?

Our oral tradition of narratives, origin stories, creation myths, and so on – up to the present time – came about because we are meaning-seeking people. Our ancestors looked up into the heavens, saw comets, and asked, “What does this mean?” The same with weather patterns, crop failures, upheavals – virtually anything they encountered and did not understand. They created stories to make sense of things, to remember the meanings. They shared those stories with other humans to connect, to bear witness to the lives they were living. And the same is true today.

CTA: What would you like to learn about the meaning and power of story? When you’re ready I can help.

You’re invited: “Come for the stories – stay for the magic!” Speaking of magic, I hope you’ll subscribe, follow, share a 5-star rating and nice review on your social media or podcast channel of choice, and join us next time! Remember to stop by the website, check out the Services, arrange a Discovery Call, and Opt-In to stay current with Diane and Quarter Moon Story Arts and on LinkedIn.

Stories From Women Who Walk Production Team

Podcaster: Diane F Wyzga & Quarter Moon Story Arts

Music: Mer’s Waltz from Crossing the Waters by Steve Schuch & Night Heron Music

Having a strong leadership vision is crucial for organizations to succeed in today’s fast-paced and constantly evolving business environment. A compelling vision serves as a guide, providing direction, motivation, and a sense of purpose for both leaders and their teams. By establishing clear goals and objectives, leaders can align their efforts and lead their organizations to greater heights. In this detailed article, we will delve into the importance of leadership vision, explore its goals and objectives, and reveal effective strategies for creating and implementing a compelling vision that drives businesses forward.

Inspiring and Engaging Teams

Influential leaders possess a unique ability to inspire and engage their teams. By communicating a compelling vision, they awaken a sense of purpose and ignite the passion within individuals, fostering a collective drive towards shared goals. When team members feel connected to a more significant cause, they become more engaged and motivated, enhancing productivity and performance. Leaders can transform organizations into dynamic and cohesive units through their vision, propelling them toward success.

Building a Strong Organizational Culture

Leadership vision not only guides strategic decisions but also shapes organizational culture. A well-crafted concept embodies the core values and principles that underpin an organization’s identity. Leaders create a sense of belonging and establish a robust corporate culture by articulating a vision that resonates with employees. This culture cultivates shared beliefs, fosters collaboration, and empowers individuals to work towards a common goal, ensuring the organization’s long-term success.

Establishing Measurable Milestones

A strong leadership vision goes hand in hand with setting clear goals and objectives. These goals provide a tangible framework for progress and enable leaders to measure success. By breaking down the vision into smaller, achievable milestones, leaders can track the organization’s progress, identify areas for improvement, and celebrate milestones as they are reached. In addition, well-defined goals create a sense of purpose and urgency, fostering a results-driven culture where accountability thrives.

Aligning Actions and Strategies

Leaders must align actions and strategies with overarching goals to turn a vision into reality. By clearly communicating the vision and the associated objectives, leaders enable their teams to understand the desired outcomes and make informed decisions. This alignment ensures that every action taken is a deliberate step toward the vision’s realization. In addition, influential leaders empower their teams by providing the necessary resources, support, and guidance to enable them to contribute meaningfully to the shared goals.

Identifying Opportunities and Challenges

Developing a compelling leadership vision requires a deep understanding of the organization’s opportunities and challenges. Leaders must comprehensively analyze the external environment, including market trends, competition, and emerging technologies. By gathering insights and understanding the landscape, leaders can identify growth opportunities and anticipate potential challenges. This allows them to craft a vision that positions the organization for success in a rapidly evolving business landscape.

Harnessing Diverse Perspectives

A robust leadership vision incorporates the perspectives and input of key stakeholders within the organization. By engaging stakeholders at various levels, leaders can tap into their expertise, gather valuable insights, and ensure the vision resonates throughout the organization. In addition, this inclusive approach fosters a sense of ownership and buy-in from stakeholders, creating a shared commitment toward achieving the vision’s goals and objectives.

Leadership vision acts as a compass that guides organizations toward success. It inspires teams and fosters a strong organizational culture by setting clear goals and objectives. Influential leaders comprehend and utilize the power of a compelling vision to drive their organizations forward.

Leaders motivate their workforce by igniting passion and engaging them toward a common goal. They nurture a strong organizational culture by embodying shared values and a sense of belonging. Leaders empower individuals to contribute their best by establishing a cohesive and collaborative environment through their vision.

Clear goals and objectives are indispensable for progress. Measurable milestones enable leaders to track their organization’s journey toward the vision and drive accountability. Moreover, leaders ensure that every effort contributes to its realization by aligning actions and strategies with the vision.

Developing a compelling leadership vision demands a thorough understanding of the external landscape and its challenges and opportunities. Engaging stakeholders and harnessing diverse perspectives ensure the vision is comprehensive and inclusive. This, in turn, garners support from all levels of the organization.

In the dynamic business world, leadership vision is a practical roadmap propelling organizations to succeed. With a clear vision, inspiring goals, and well-defined objectives, leaders can navigate the complexities of the business landscape and steer their organizations to new heights.

Embracing the power of leadership vision, crafting a compelling roadmap for your organization, and unlocking the full potential of your team lies in setting your sights on a shared vision. By doing so, you can inspire greatness, achieve remarkable results, and shape a future of success.

God handed me a Gift with Crayons and that’s where Words began.
Upside-down letters, and colorful pictures of a wonderful blend.

School began with Left-Handed writing; Pencil lead and red eraser smears.
The teacher tried to change me; my Mom simply said, ‘no way’;
here I am, a Lefty, with long-forgotten tears.

Pens became my friends; some were best and some were not.
I prefer that ink flows smoothly and dries without a blot.

Millions of words were written from a slow to maddening pace.
Some words were hard to give away; gone by the choice to erase.

My way of writing changed, as drastic as the time.
Poems written on gift paper or notepads with a rush to spill the rhyme.

I left Poems in boxes and binders, to search for later like gold in a mine.
It was an archeological dig to get all the Poems combined.

Thousands of thoughts have crowded, then spilled from deep inside.
A stash of Dreams once Pondered; set free to no longer hide.

Afraid? You bet. For we all wear different shades.
I thought of roads that blocked me, and dreamed of a paper parade.

Once I took the time to scurry and discover;
now I’m healed and stronger from the heartbreak of too many lovers.

I wrote of seasons and fear of death;
I swallowed reality and spilled out my breath.

Here I sit, upon a hillside looking down.
When will this story end and will I be around?

Do I pick a day or deadline to never write a word again?
I tried it once, and felt as though I lost my closest friend.

For Pen upon the Paper from one to another Book;
it is a life worth reminiscing as I take a second look.

Yet many things were sacrificed along this lifelong journey.
We’re talking years of exploration into Love and Loss and Yearning.

But here I am in Pajamas, far away from Fantasy.
I Write of Age with Honesty and what it’s done to me.

I’ve shared this Life of Mystery, between Twists of Love and Rhyme;
along these Roads I Traveled, I never Colored Within the Lines.

My dear Dad passed away at the end of last month, thankfully peacefully at home where he wanted to be. The paradox of my tears over these past weeks has been a reflection of the deep love I was fortunate to have for him coupled with the grief of the loss of his physical presence in my life. He was a Dad who made many sacrifices in taking care of my brother and me throughout his life.

During my reflections, I realise that my grief for losing him began many months before he died. The last four months were tough for him, and in turn for me, witnessing his deteriorating health accompanied by the frustration that bought. And yet he navigated his condition with as much strength and will as he could muster until the end.

During these months when I was able to spend more time with him caring for him at home with the help of friends, family, and carers, we spent time in conversation, playing cards, draughts, or rummykub as a way to distract his mind from pain and discomfort and simply enjoy this time together.

These times were precious moments. I listened, he spoke. I listened, he became quiet. I listened, he drifted off for a nap. I was still there, still listening when he awoke a little while later.

He shared stories of when he was younger. He recalled experiences of his school days, in the RAF, and his working life where he served others in the hospitality, laundry, clothing, catering, and food trades. We also spoke of current times, our girls and their university life and holidays, my husband, and my work contributions. He was interested in and cared greatly for his family.

As the weeks progressed I realised each time we were together it was harder for him to be in conversation for long. He became weaker. I began grieving then as he became a different version of the Dad I knew. I found it harder each time I walked through his door as I didn’t know what to expect. And yet I wanted to be upbeat for him and so fought back the tears of witnessing him become a shadow of his former self mentally and physically. I sat with him, listening to what he needed now, what needed to change, and what he wanted as his condition deteriorated.

Over these months I was reminded of the goodness Dad generated in the lives of others. He worked until he was 80 years old in the food trade! He worked in his community with the local school and tennis club jointly for over 40 years. He helped those who sought help. He took time out to visit those who wanted company. He never arrived anywhere without a gift for the person he was visiting. He enjoyed being with people. Dad’s life was a life well lived, one to be grateful for and celebrated.

I am hugely grateful to my family, friends, and colleagues who have been such a dependable source of comfort, strength, and love throughout this time – you know who you are. Whilst I was listening to Dad, you have been there listening to me and for that I am hugely grateful.

And today, in writing to you, sharing my experience of listening in grief, I am reminded of this gift that we all have. I have been enriched in listening to others share with me their experiences navigating times of loss. I have been reminded of how lucky I was to have been on this earth together with Dad for the past 56 years. I am grateful to have had some time to reflect and listen to my own positive memories, my feelings as they surge and burst out unexpectedly at times, and listen to the gratitude in my heart for all that Dad was for me and others. His legacy of generosity, kindness, and independence is one that will remain in our hearts forever.

Thank you for listening!

Graduation time conjures up a legion of people ready to offer congratulations, farewells, and wisdom. The graduates are told about what they can expect as they go forth. Speakers laud them for their achievements and remind them to use what they have learned.

Graduates are ready to make their mark, to make the world a better place, et cetera. The analog clocks of graduation time tick and tock with the sounds of hope, and rightly so.

I teach adolescent boys, helping to form young men. A proper education forms young men as gentlemen and scholars within an environment nurtured by the theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity. The greatest of these is charity because charity is the eternal virtue. Charity reigns in Heaven among the Church Triumphant, who no longer have need of faith or hope because they have no doubts and have achieved perfect happiness. But, as the Apostle Paul instructs, love remains.

Hope is for the Church Militant, for those of us still working out our salvation, perhaps with at least a modicum of fear and trembling. The world is often an unfriendly place, and influential societal shapers offer a bewildering array of distractions, most marketed not as a way of avoiding responsibility, but instead put forward as Just the Right Thing. Advertisers tell us in order to sell us products that our lives lack Just the Right Thing, but have hope because here it is, available to all who want to be happy for a price that, even if high, can be broken down into a series of easy payments.

So, in keeping with the graduation times, I come bearing words. The Beatles tell us the best things in life are free. The advice that follows this paragraph is free. Therefore, the advice that follows must be well worth reading.

Talk Less

I can already see people who know me rolling their eyes and saying, “You, who often have a hard time shutting up, are telling others to talk less.” I admit it. I’m venturing into the realm of “Do I say, not as I do.” All I can offer in my defense is that just because I’m guilty does not mean I’m wrong.

It’s far too easy to get wrapped up in the negative. I struggle with focusing on the very many good things I encounter every day in my life. I know that I ought to share stories of victories, of good deeds, of unexpected blessings. More often than not, however, I have a hard time remembering those things. They get lost in the shadows of my pride and my disappointment. Then, when asked how my day was, all I can think of to share are those things that failed to live up to my expectations. How much better would life be if I could live according to just one Irish proverb?

“Leave the bad tale where you found it.”

I love the use of the word tale in the proverb. A tale is meant to be told to others. That is a tale’s function. Humans are tale-taking creatures. Sharing stories is hardwired into our nature. If I could leave the bad tales behind, how long would it take for that proverb’s corollary to become a habit? I’d become one who takes good tales with me.

And, for a time, I’d probably talk less, at least until my store of good tales exceeded the burden of the bad ones that I didn’t leave behind.

Read More

I can see more eyes rolling. Of course, the English teacher is going to say read more.

But let me explain. I don’t mean read more books. It’s not about quantity. It’s about quality, specifically the quality of how well I understand what I’ve read. We today have so much to read. Too much to read, really. In days of old before the invention of the printing press, books were rare and precious things. Those blessed with enough education to be literate had few books to choose from, and so readers in the ancient world chose carefully. They read not many books once, but instead, read a few books many times. I’ve read Song of Hiawatha at least ten times. Every time I read it, I understand something new. I’ve read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer more than that. Every time I read it, I understand something new.

The book read and reread doesn’t change. I change. If I read a book once a year, every time I read it, I’m a year older. Another year of triumphs and failures has passed. Another year of experiences gets added to the lenses through which I understand the world. As a result, I’m better able to grasp Hiawatha’s helplessness when Famine and Fever invade his home. I’m better able to see the devotion shining in Becky Thatcher’s eyes because Tom tells a lie to take the beating for something Becky did. “Tom, how could you be so noble!” Becky says, and my heart breaks for want of hearing anyone I love say such words to me.

Be on the lookout for that good book that merits more than one read. When it’s found, keep it. Revisit it and see how what it says has changed.

Hear Most

Hear is different than listen. Hear is transitive. Listen is not. I can hear a voice. Voice is the direct object. Voice receives the action of hear. I cannot listen a voice. I can listen to a voice, and it’s long seemed to me that the prepositional phrase reduces the quality of the action. I don’t want to be listened to. I want to be heard. I ought to want to hear others as well.

Hearing involves more than just the ears. It involves the eyes as well, even if they’re closed so that I can hear better. Mrs. Chance and I enjoyed a performance of Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin. We sat too close to the stage, and I found it a struggle to both hear and see different performers at the same time. When the lead male sang, if I focused on him, I could better understand his pathos, but then I missed the details — the context clues, to wax English teacher — provided by the reactions of the other actors on stage at the time.

Hearing also involves the heart and the imagination, especially when the eyes and ears can’t help. This happens when I read. To be present in a book requires the imaginative act of seeing, hearing, and feeling what the characters in the book experience. The author’s words help convey that information. Without the effort to hear more than just the order of the words on the page, I fail to do justice to the author’s work.

More than theater, movies, and books, the people in our lives deserve our attention. They deserve to be heard.

No, I am not.  I am actually a little giddy at the prospect of telling you about a conflict workshop I helped test for a colleague.  The workshop itself focused on situations that make us upset, angry, annoyed, irritated, p….. off, and generally negative.

So, play along with me here.  What makes you annoyed and irritated?

From the annoyances either mentioned in the workshop or picked up in the grapevine since, here is a sample of what makes other people upset:

• Being cut off in traffic
• Getting interrupted
• When other people “speak for me”
• Public littering
• Injustice
• People not walking their talk
• Inconsiderate behavior

Does anyone of these irk you more than your first thought?  Focus on one that really gets under your skin.

What does it feel like in your body?  Do you feel a clenching in the stomach?  A tightness around your chest?  How about your jaw, neck, back?

Just notice – we are playing here, so right now there is no reason for you to react to these signals.  Don’t punch your monitor/toss your phone in the dumpster. I am sure you have a story that plays in your head with many more details than just these few words.  Some event or events that you revisit in your mind.

In the workshop, we had a chance to tell that story to the other participants.  And then we heard it told back to us by the facilitators.  It is powerful to hear your own story told back (as some readers will know if they have been part of the Listen-360 workshops.)  We had our emotions and expressions mirrored back, and that, too, is powerful because sometimes others can hear fear, pain, or longing where, on the inside, all we feel is anger and frustration.

If you are still clenching your jaw or feel tightness in your abdomen, please take three deep breaths into your stomach and exhale slowly between each breath.

There is no reason to stay in an activated “fight or flight mode”.

What did the workshop achieve?

• It heightened my awareness of the signals my body sends when my boundaries are crossed. The body knows if our boundaries are crossed. We are not always aware of it; when we are, we don’t always acknowledge it to ourselves – and even less to the person crossing them. But if we keep allowing this to happen, chance is that we will have less self-respect, and either we will have pains and ulcers from eating our anger or we will take it out in unproductive ways: through aggression or by retaliating through passive-aggressive behaviors, sarcasm, or backstabbing.
• It allowed a “cleaning up” of the incidents that were in the story. Unprocessed stories are a bit like driving on an unpaved road.  Particularly if we ruminate on them.  We keep digging the trail deeper and deeper into the soil, and eventually, the rut we have dug is where our minds go by default.  Our repetitive thought patterns have created a neurological highway.  Even with stories that could have gone in so many other directions, our “mental translation” of what is happening follows this well-used trail to a not-very-happy place.

This is the neurological underpinning of the Anaïs Nin quote “we don’t see the world as it is but as we are”.
Cleaning up is like taking a plane to the ruts and it allows us to think fresh thoughts.

• Combining the two points above, we can become more aware of when we react to a trespassing happening here and now, or whether it is loaded with a lot of old hurts – that do not necessarily come from the person now triggering us. If we don’t clean up, we may become a link in the chain of “hurt people who hurt people” when we dump our reaction to years of held-back frustration on the wrong person.

By chance, I was in another workshop the following week where one of the participants said of his childhood self “I was furious that I couldn’t feel anything.”  That sounds like an oxymoron, but it is a fairly normal experience among people who have been ridiculed for being “too emotional” – particularly boys living under the requirement to “man up”.  Not seeing modeled or being valued for showing tenderness and vulnerability, learning that exuberance is childish, (and for boys being highjacked and scared by their own aggression, triggered by testosterone-spikes during puberty), many and especially boys/men have put a lid on their emotions.  The only emotion with enough energy to “burst through” the lid is anger.  So that is the only emotion they become aware of – and how terribly empty that must be.

Getting somebody to pay specific attention to their facial expressions, tone of voice, and demeanor when recalling events can be extremely helpful, as an observant listener may be able to hear emotions and help guide the speaker’s awareness of those moments.  That said, sometimes a licensed professional is a safer outlet than a hack like me.

The story this participant shared illustrated one of the factors that often influence how we deal – or don’t deal – with our frustrating experiences: what is the power differential between you and the person crossing your boundary?  Is it physically and psychologically safe to stand up for yourself?  Do you have any allies to stand up for you?  And how much of this is real vs a story you tell yourself because of your personal backstory?

I want to recognize that some people think these kinds of workshops are somehow frivolous.  That they contribute to a culture of disempowerment and fragility where people are too focused on how they have been wronged, and instead they should build up some backbone and resilience.  To this, I can only say that speaking your truth to another human being and facing your ghosts in front of others take considerably more backbone than spewing sarcasm and contempt anonymously in a spiteful Discourse group.

It has the added benefit that it actually works.

Are you comfortable with your place in the world?  Christine Handy surely is!  Believe it or not, it is not because she is a successful Victoria’s Secret model, best-selling author, or social media influencer.  It is because she has successfully battled breast cancer, remade and worked on herself, and has survived to advocate for breast cancer patients and survivors throughout the world. In my opinion, Christine’s true beauty is the person that she has become!  She has tremendous faith, confidence, and a tremendous will to help people!  She has compassion, as well as tremendous gratitude. 

Please join us for this FANTASTIC and important conversation with this truly incredible person in our world!

As a contributor to Womenz Straight Talk Magazine, I was recently asked to do a piece on gardening. And as a digging-in-the-dirt girl, I wanted to share a concept that has lived in my heart for a long time. After all, Straight Talk is just that. More than tutorial or instructional, it’s a place to share information, creativity, ideals, and feelings in a forum of trust and nurturing. Gardening brings me close to God and helps to clear my mind of the veritable cacophony swirling daily through my entire being, and in the process, the clarity yields a peace within, fusing strength and resolve into my soul which helps me to be the best I can be as a human.

Our relationships with flowers and outdoor vegetation can be complex and varied, some of us entrenched in the daily nurturing and tending required to coax glorious blossoms from seedlings which is a thrill to experience.

Then there’s the downside. The frustrating devastation of blight and disease, the ruination of plants consumed by garden vermin, accompanied by screaming vows never to dig in the dirt again. Some of us keep plugging on, committed to the earth’s promise of reward for our sweat and determination as we try to figure out the safest way to combat the enemy. Some of us give up. How many relationships do we sweat out in life?

For me, gardening evokes comparisons to humanity, our sensibilities prejudiced towards our favorite perennials and annuals, our memories tied to scents that take us back to special occasions, our willingness to oblige garden order or nurturing healthy connections to people or not, a choice. Communication with the soil is a delicate dance of give and take, feeding, and cutting back or deadheading to reveal purpose and balance in artful alliance with plants and flowers. The skill to maintain stable liaisons in life with others is often a challenge as well, fraught with the unpredictable, as with gardening, the unforeseen can wreck irreparable damage.

Then there’s the lingering love-hate relationships fostered by efforts that either succeed or sometimes fail, much like relationships with our human counterparts. When a plant or shrub succumbs in my garden, at first, I tend to blame them for not being strong enough to survive. At times, it makes me so upset, I can’t stand it because it costs money to bring them to my flower beds. How dare they die? And then, I have to look at myself and do an analysis to figure out what went wrong and how could I have been a better nurturer to that plant that I chose to have a relationship with? It’s easiest to play the blame game. Do we continue in relationships doomed to failure or do we cut them away to salvage ourselves from toxicity that can weaken and derail us?

The countless varieties of garden specimens available for inclusion in various global planting zones and gardens can be compared to the vast number of cultural identities throughout the world, many unheralded ethnicities struggling for a voice or prominent placement in a tableau that all but ignores them because of pessimism and ignorance. Why take a chance on the unknown when the familiar brings such satisfaction? Planting something I know nothing about is both scary and exciting at the same time for me. Opening up to new ideologies and cultural exchange can feel the same. Do we reach out to learn what we can about those outside our inner circle or do we strive to embrace diversity, unveiling the unknown to reveal something new and exciting?

The garden is a perfect metaphor for life. It brings me to my knees in earnest as I implore the earth to reward me with a bountiful harvest. Alas, nothing is perfect in our imperfect world, neither when it comes to gardening or our own humanity. When given the choice, do we nurture or not, do we walk away, or do we stay the course? Do we challenge ourselves or do we remain complacent? Do we reach out to other humans in an exchange of goodwill, or do we distance ourselves in fear of the unknown? I’ll never be perfect but for me, the answer is one life, one chance to be the change. And if you’re not a gardener, maybe a houseplant can be a source of renewed connection to life and the world around you.

I have noticed that even the most successful executives, leaders, and high-level professionals are challenged with owning their self-worth.

Lovingly accepting the person you are, your feelings, thoughts, and values, the total package is the best gift for overall health you can give to yourself. If you struggle with acceptance of self and/or perfectionism, I encourage you to mindfully process those deep emotions that carry pain and heavy burdens. For example, not meeting someone’s expectations, disapproval, shame, blame, guilt, or failure can rattle our self-worth or confidence in believing we are enough.

Very gently and lovingly, give yourself permission to feel these emotions, hold space in a loving, nurturing fashion for yourself as you explore these emotions, and permit yourself to release the heavy burden and pain of the debilitating emotions. There is no magic time frame for this process.

The key is to use mindful principles to assist in viewing the situation free of judgment in the present moment. Remember, all things must unfold in their own time and release the desire for immediate results or how you think things should be and a willingness to see things as they are.

Most importantly, lovingly and compassionately embrace yourself; you are enough just as you are. Our Divine right is to feel and experience happiness, healthiness, and wholeness.

Don’t sit on the fence; break it and move out! Don’t be confined to the little things you do; the sky should be below your limit!

― Israelmore Ayivor, The Great Hand Book of Quotes

Too little time and too much to do. The confusion is a ‘problem of the plenty’. I am multiple things rolled into one. What should I do now?  I want to be too many people at the same time. Is there something I can focus on and get on with?  The confusion marauds my conscience.

I want to read. I look at my bookshelf. There are just too many books unopened since I brought them with great zeal.

I have more than fifteen manuscripts open, waiting to be plotted and finished.

The publishing projects are hanging. I am not able to give the time and focus that my editor deserves.

I want to be a writer, author. Period. Novels, short fiction, poetry, poetry reviews, and book reviews. I want to read voraciously.

Then comes the big question – who will pay the bills?  Am I not wealthy enough to take the break? Maybe, maybe not. There are fires to put out and families that demand my businesses to feed. Some investors have trusted my ventures. There are many balls in the air.

The multiple threads in my life have entangled, enmeshed, and finally created a knot that has created action paralysis in my life. I sit on the fence, a proverbial one that I struggle to do what I want to, but what I need to.

Do you resonate with my struggle?

There is another dimension to it. The family angle. If I have to do so many things, what about my family and friends? Do I not spend time with the ones I love?  Of course, yes. See, that splits my hair more.  What would you do if you are struggling with prioritizing between what you have to do, what you want to do, and who you want to be with?

Go With the Flow

One solution to this struggle is to become unhinged. I write about this first because it is the solution that often comes to my mind. I want to float like a leaf in the wind and fall in the stream, and be swept away by the ebbs and flows of life. I don’t want to schedule my day, week or month. Others would do it for me if it is important enough for them. They know me, so they know what to get out of me.

I am a giver, so I am made to give. I become the puppet of others. There are tensions there too, but I forget, for a moment what I want or have to be. It is an abdication of the self.

Imagine how the planets, stars, and the universe as a whole co-exist. They are pulled by weak forces, and they are in constant motion. Yet their lives go on. There is no self-induced action, but a kind of strings that pull and push.

The ‘going with the flow’ becomes the unhinged yet interoperable solution for such a state. Here, I am never on the fence, for I am at somebody’s disposal always and at their beck and call. I blame the others for my situation, and how convenient is that!

Monica, why does everything have to have a point? Why does it all have to be part of a plan? Sometimes it’s best to let things just grow naturally, like wildflowers.

― Clare Pooley, The Authenticity Project

Even when I started writing this piece, I did not know where it could lead me. I just went with the flow. But life is more complicated than this. There is no way going with the flow is going to pay my bills or run my ventures. I got to wear a different hat.

The Safe Harbor:

What about not doing anything at all?  There are people I know who have everything in them, but they won’t do a thing about it. I look at them with jealousy and sometimes regret. But if we have to examine all options, we have to give them a fair chance, don’t we?

Ships are designed to sail, but they have to be built in a harbour. The harbour prepares the ship for a tempestuous journey, but the ship has to leave the harbour to take the journey. To keep the metaphor alive, we have to act to get things done and produce outcomes. But outcomes mean bouquets as well as brickbats, success as well as failures. Deciding not to leave the harbour means deciding not to act. No action, no outcome. No outcome, no failures. No failures, no criticisms.

The fear of failure, inertia, or just ennui could lead to such non-performance of action.

Another form of non-performance is procrastination. Procrastination is deferred action, if at all.  So, between various priorities, the decision of non-action means that the ship can stay in the harbour. This is a decision, unlike going with the flow. Going with the flow is unhinged action, safe harbour is the deferred decision to act or inaction.

One day at a time:

I prefer slow action when I am conflicted with fence-sitting. I prefer to roll slowly and steadily than be stagnant. ‘Rolling stones gather no moss.’ The best bit of this is my intuitive ability to divide any work into a small, affordable bit of action that makes me create small wins.

I have discovered that while there is a long pipeline of commitments – personal, professional, family, and other types, it turns out we can do only so much in a day without losing our marbles. There are unexpected events and unscheduled stops, but keeping the focus on the must-dos works well. Here is a quote I believe in:

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

– Francis of Assisi

This is how I win my bad days.  If I could make my bad days count, the good days will take care of themselves.

Let us look at this another way. However prepared we are, we live our lives one day at a time. So it is easier to act on what we must do during the day and move to the other things, we could have seized the day.

But… what makes the day? We have ‘office times’ and ‘weekends’.  How do they come in the way of ‘one day at a time?’

The 9-to-5 and Weekend life:

I wriggled out of the 9 to 5 life a decade ago. It has stunted the ‘work-life balance’ that I used to think I could get if I had worked with a certain ‘key result area’. Setting goals makes life easier. But those goals aren’t mine. I am just contracted to work my bit to achieve others’ goals.

The growth and security 9 to 5 give are interesting. I could grow only so much – in a large corporate, beyond the middle management, there were different sets of skills that I had to possess. But my interest was to discover my ground, rather than playing with others.

I had stupendous success as a consultant, but the stress of being one – working late evenings, early mornings, and weekends, and achieving success because I was measured on outcomes and not outputs. Employment was about outputs, self-employment was about outcomes. Outcomes matter, output is more vanity metrics. We can cloak the success of the ‘performance of a KRA’, but unless the outcome is visible, it is just an exercise in vain.

Success as a consultant led to stress. From avoidance of action, I had gone into ‘outcome-driven action.’ I could see my ex-classmates and ex-colleagues driving BMWs as they climbed their corporate ladders, and living the 9-to-5 plus weekend gig successfully.

The biggest support during this stressful breakaway from 9-to-5 is from my family. My family is not the perfect one, but it has sacrificed itself – my wife and son for my erratic work times. The idea of being an ideal spouse and parent on the one hand and being a successful consultant on the other had its repercussions. Mental health issues cropped up, forcefully slowing down this unbridled career focus and leading me back to the fence.

Sitting on the fence:

Sitting on the fence is not fun. It is a ringside view of the piling work and challenges on both sides of the fence. Add inaction to that. Decision-making has come to a halt.  The one-day-at-a-time method helps me focus and make little progress, but in many key areas, I am paralyzed in prioritization.

The dichotomy of the situation is that I want to soar high in the skies with a ton of lead tied to my feet. Neither I can get rid of the lead, nor can I curtail my ambitions to fly. So, I sit on the fence, with folded feathers and the lead resting faithfully under my feet.

Introduction: These articles are part of Intercultural dialogues, to celebrate, leverage and chronicle diverse stories, narratives, voices, and cultural identities of inspirational Indian women achievers.

As an Indian-born woman, my life has been enriched by a colorful spectrum and cultural impact of the 9 Indian cities I grew up in, and the 8 international cities I lived in thereafter, giving me an in-depth understanding of overall internal and cross-cultural diversities that are perceived through life’s unique and everchanging emotional and psychological lenses.

With the power of the written word, I hope to address the relevance of a woman in India’s emerging economy, as she prepares to face conflicting issues of social division vs cohesion, and, discrimination vs reconciliation, across cultural divides. With dreams, desires, and circumstances reflective of many women across all corners of our world, these shared stories seek to ignite, inspire, and empower another sister with one aim – creating a virtuous circle to uplift the overall human spirit through the coming decades.

Women in India

A wise man of great intellect and power once said, “The best measure of a nation’s progress is the way it treats its women.”

From times immemorial, legends and cultural metaphors of India, have allowed the subtle expressions of patriarchy’s regulated sexuality, reproduction, and social productions, to become part of an accepted social fabric. The role of women has been emphasized as faithful wives and devout mothers, who are trained since childhood to sacrifice their aspirations and individualism, and never challenge discrimination, subordination, exploitation, and subjugation.

Till the 13th century, India was a country that shunned widows and allowed the Hindu practice of “Sati” (burning to death of a recent widow; self-immolation or by force or coercion, and deemed as an act of peerless piety that would purge her of all her sins, release her from the cycle of birth and rebirth and ensure salvation for her dead husband and the seven generations that followed her), till it was abolished in1827, during British Raj, by the Governor-General of India, Lord Bentinck, claiming it had no sound theological basis.

In this age of ascending feminism and focus on equality and human rights, the contemporary modern Indian woman is switching between multiple roles successfully, but still struggles to find a balancing act between being respected, feared, insulted, sidelined, and is constantly being defined and re-defined by contradictions and comparisons to a “traditional woman”. She forges ahead irrespective…leaving behind her legacy of fearlessness.

Meet one such woman, Jija Madhavan Harisingh, first lady IPS officer in South India, who is an epitome of an “Officer and a Gentle Woman”, uniquely striking a “rare” balance of logic, calm and collected, on one hand; and creative, intuitive, sensitive, flexible, adaptable, with an adventurous and relentless “never say never” attitude, on the other. Her mantra: “Never stop exploring, never settle, as a curious mind knows there is more to life than existing, so keep expecting bigger things from life”!

A Thought Leader, Visionary, Catalyst for change, Mentor for Women and Youth, Philanthropist, Humanitarian, Artist of repute and an art connoisseur, Spiritual Seeker, a multifaceted icon with strength & simplicity, Singh was the first woman to join the premier Indian Police Service ( IPS), Karnataka, in 1975, and who at the young age of 24, after three years of tough physical and professional training, was posted to the conservative state of Karnataka (post of Assistant Superintendent of Police – Research), where a strong patriarchal mindset was to confront her at every step. But the warrior that she was …her brilliant career spanned three and half decades, earning her the highest rank of Director General of Police (DGP). She retired in 2011.

Her early life was influenced by her father, T.K. Madhavan, and later, she blossomed under her mentor Madhukar Rao (with whom she shared her love for Shakespeare, poets of the romantic era, like Keats, Shelley, and Wordsworth, and modern poets like GM Hopkins and TS Eliot), and learnt live model studies under the well-known artist M.V. Devan at Kalapeetom, (helping her establish as an artist of refute in traditional figurative gold paintings of Mysore and Tanjore, abstracts, painting color fields in oil and acrylic).

She finished her graduation and post-graduation in English literature from University College, a Journalism course at Press Club, a short working stint at the Indian space Research organization, followed by a brief English teaching phase at Maharaja’s College, Ernakulam. Her enthusiasm, eagerness, and insatiable curiosity about life enabled her to balance a challenging career, and competent motherhood, and she went on to gain another MA Degree in Sociology from Mysore University, followed by a Ph.D. in Development Studies on the topic of her special interest, women’s empowerment. Her research study with title ‘Gender status in Karnataka police, a study of entry-level cadres in women police’.

In just four years, Jija rose to be a force to be reckoned with and was handed tough assignments like Asst.

Superintendent of Police of a strife-ridden subdivision of Bangalore and Madhugiri. Her tough and meticulous handling of confronting unruly crowds and hardened criminals in this area was acknowledged by higher authorities, and she was soon picked to head a district as the Superintendent of Police, a district with 30-plus police stations and 1000 personnel, becoming the first woman ever to be allowed such an onerous responsibility in the country. Her other successful career stints were Airports Authority of India, Nuclear Power Corporation Limited, National Textiles Corporation, Karnataka State Police Housing Corporation and Mysore Minerals Ltd., and Jungle Lodges & Resorts Ltd (Corporates under the Government of Karnataka).

Inspired by Nehru’s words ‘I am not interested in excuses; I am interested in work done”, Jija’s positive and diligent mindset, and spirited quest to perform against all odds, helped her establish herself as the only woman DGP (Director General of Police) in the state, in spite of the challenges of gender power dynamics, and the Indian patriarchal/conventional style of bureaucracy (“I convert even the dullest assignment into a “glorious lake of lotuses”, she says).

Never allowing a dull moment in creativity, her solo exhibitions in India and abroad, the establishment of a Trust called “Art Mantram” (that has organized over 500 events, online Art souks, camps, and workshops that address burning social issues, promotes patronage, awareness, and accessibility of Art), won her the “Indira Priyadarshini National Award”, for Contribution to Art.

Today, she has chosen to retire in Bangalore (also spelled Bengaluru), the capital city, (since 1830), of Karnataka state, southern India, which lies 3,113 feet (949 meters) above sea level, atop an east-west ridge in the Karnataka Plateau in the southeastern part of the state. According to an early 2023 survey, and has an estimated population of 11,644,000, an average literacy rate of 88.71 percent (of which male and female literacy is 91.71 and 85.44 percent), and the sex ratio of Bangalore city is 923 per 1000 males.

I reached out to Jija Hari Singh, to talk about what it takes for a woman to break the glass ceiling in one of the toughest professions, handle insensitive gender environments, deal with Bigotry and gender bias, and still leave her mark as a leader; and how a heightened EQ (Emotional Quotient) in a woman can fuel progress, and art of thriving in life through self-mastery, curiosity, and creativity. Excerpts from the Interview…

Q. Jija, is it true that the Indian police culture is characterized by gender inequalities and hegemonic masculinity?

A: Of course! Women police officers face greater organizational, psychological, and physiological stress and distress than men officers. Especially with the bias and gender-related work stressors like perceptions of sexually offensive behaviors, vulgar/offensive language around them, and sexual and racial harassment. Police forces across the world (not just in India), have been strongly patriarchal and also adversarial towards women who “dared” to join their ranks. Especially, 40 years ago, it was almost unheard of.

Q: What about you personally? Did you also find yourself dealing with bigotry, rude and supercilious behavior, or a disparaging attitude from your men colleagues that made you feel less influential than your men colleagues? How did you handle it?

A: Indeed, it was a rough time. Difficulties of confronting and overcoming prejudice, rude and supercilious behavior, and bigotry were tougher than the actual policing duties. How did I handle it? A combination of strategies, I could say. A meticulous and flawless working style, a thorough knowledge of the job, a lot of homework, and thinking through SOPs and Emergency plans, combined with assertiveness and a sensible, common-sense, often compassionate approach cannot go wrong. When it is untiringly repeated, the adversaries back off, noise levels come down and you emerge victorious, again and again. Results in policing, positive or negative cannot be hidden. Crime prevention and investigation or law and order maintenance or security administration are all in the public eye and quickly bring laurels and public appreciation or condemnation. Good work is seen! And acknowledged.

Q. As someone who has been a catalyst for change, and a Thought leader, do you think that Indian patriarchal masculinity is being challenged in contemporary times? What will it take to change the long-standing patriarchal values to be more inclusive of women?

A. If we look at India’s rich cultural heritage, during the Vedic period, women enjoyed equal status with men in all aspects of life, and this is actually documented by ancient Indian saints like Patanjali and Katayana too. Moving through the “Medieval period, and the late medieval period” (from the 13th to the 16th century, ending with the start of the Mughal Empire in 1526), women’s image became a self-sacrificing, self-effacing pure image, trained only as faithful wives and devout mothers, as you rightfully said. Let’s face it, like many Asian, Hispanic, and Latino cultures, Indian society too, is still patriarchal, and gender inequalities in patriarchal societies favor men with the gender norms constructed around masculinity and a man’s sense of self, that hinges on his ability to control and protect his daughter (and her chastity), till she’s married.

However, let me share some interesting data I came across. Apparently, Thailand and Cambodia are the only two countries, which have more women running companies than men, and it’s also true that, when the top manager of a firm is a woman, that firm usually tends to have a larger share of permanent female workers. Amazing. Maybe we should study this more to understand why this is manageable there and not in other parts of the world.

Perhaps, the answer lies in bringing in attitudinal changes in both men and women – a collective social effort, an awareness, to build gender equity, to empower, encourage, and welcome more women in any male-dominated profession. We need to encourage men and educate them to take responsibility as responsible sexual partners, husbands, and fathers, and willingly work towards removing stereotypical attitudes, socio-cultural barriers, violence against women, and gender injustice, and increasing women’s workforce.

In 1979, Mylinh Luong left communist Vietnam with her father, mother, and four siblings in a crowded fishing boat. She was six years old. She vividly recalls the deprivation, squalor, and brutality of the journey and life in a Malaysian refugee camp. She knows what it is to be without resources, education, family, and friends. In the US, she experienced acts of kindness that helped her overcome the lack of these things. Now a successful businesswoman, she puts her knowledge into practice by helping and supporting other immigrants in a big way.