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Holy Hector!

Can’t a man leave the country for a fortnight without the entire financial system melting down?

I’m barely off the plane and I find out the Prime Minister’s been running the skewer up our super. My inbox is jammed with Barefooters like Brad:


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‍ ‍We were somewhere over Malaysia, wedged into economy with four kids, when the fighting started.

It was hot. It was cramped. And the chicken satay I’d wolfed down in Singapore was staging a violent protest somewhere south of my belt buckle.

“Just shut up, the lot of you”...


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