This week, we are talking about our spring bucket list, and Emma is sharing all the exciting details about her second novel!

Plus, we are doing our book report about Think Again by Adam Grant.

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Show Notes:

Download our Spring Bucket List

Elsie’s Spring Bucket List:

-Finish at least one more big load in my kiln before we move.

-Finish my Halloween dishes so we can use them this fall.

-Eat outside more.

-Visit my favorite places in Nashville before I move.

Emma’s Spring Bucket List:

-Visit some friends in Detroit.

-Update the exterior of her house.

-Take a Mother’s Day trip to St. Louis.

-Keep making jewelry for fun.

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #174: You’ve Got Mail – Comfort Rewatch
• Episode #173: The 12 Week Year
• Episode #172: Preparing For a Big Move!

Episode 175 Transcript:

Elsie: You’re listening to The Beautiful Mess Podcast. This week we’re talking about our spring bucket list. Emma is sharing about finishing her second novel, and we’re doing our book report about Think Again by Adam Grant. All right, Emma, first things first I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so excited to talk about the project you just finished.

Emma: Yeah, so I’ve mentioned a number of times on this podcast, but I’ve been writing a novel, this is the second novel I’ve written. I call it my murder book, it’s titled on my Computer, a Handmade Murder. I don’t know if that will always be the title, I don’t know, but that’s what it’s titled right now. I finished my first draft, so I finished writing it a while ago. So what I mean by this is I spent a weekend, Trey and I went on a trip with some friends and they all ski and snowboard, and I don’t ski or snowboard. I’ve tried it, didn’t love it. So they went out and did that during the day and then for like four or five hours and while they did that, I worked on editing my first draft of the novel. 

Elsie: Respect for that, respect for making it your kind of trip too. 

Emma: I loved it. I just sat by the fire and sipped tea and worked on this, which was fun. And I was all by myself, their dog was with me and she’s a really sweet dog so that was fun. But I like to sometimes do the dialogue out loud. It’s not like I’m acting it out, but I just like to hear it. I know that’s probably weird, but I do, so I really like working alone whenever I’m working on this. So anyway, I was just doing the dialogue out loud at the cabin by the fire it was great for me.

Elsie: It sounds crazy. 

Emma: It was very cozy.

Elsie: And it was your second cabin for this novel, right? So that’s good. Yeah, that’s good. 

Emma: And it was snowing and it was just really, really pretty. Yeah, it was very fun and I loved it, very cozy. Felt like a great way to end this first draft, but all I really did was read through each chapter again and make sure it has kind of a compelling beginning to try to suck readers in. And then the ending, it’s not that I try to make each chapter ending a cliffhanger. I wouldn’t say that some of them are but I’m just trying to make it like, oh, you wanna read more? 

Elsie: Page turner? 

Emma: Yeah, page-turner because I love to read books where I’m like, oh I’m so tired but I just finished a chapter and now I really wanna read the next chapter cuz it’s, you know, hinting is something. So I like the idea that my book would hopefully do that for someone else because it’s such a fun feeling. So that, and then I also had never even spell-checked it because I was just working on it, so I did that of course. And then I also tried to make sure that everything is somewhat coherent. Like if the seasons are wrong, like if in a couple of chapters it’s like October, clearly, and then like one chapter later, it’s Christmas, it’s like, wait for a second, is that the right timeline? Is that what I’m wanting? Did I just forget what it was? So that, and then making sure, like minor, minor characters, making sure their names match, like if I called them one name and then five chapters later, they show up again because they’re not a big part of the book and I call them a slightly different name and I’m like, oh, I forgot that that wasn’t quite right. So anyway, I did all these little boring housekeeping-type things for the most part. And then I also went ahead and wrote my email as well. I was talking with an agent from my last novel that I wrote called Cloud Nine, and she read the whole novel and gave me a lot of really useful feedback and we didn’t end up moving forward. I talked about that on a different episode. But I wanted to reconnect with her because I just really got a great vibe from her. And I just also really appreciated her time to read through my entire book and provide me with feedback. Like, wow. I wrote up an email to her about a synopsis and some comparative titles and a little bit about like here’s where we’re at with our blog stats and our podcast stats and blah, blah, blah all that stuff for the market. I sent her this draft, this finished the quote-unquote first draft of my novel and that was really fun. And I hit send as the snow was falling down and I thought, oh my gosh, here we go. 

Elsie: Aww beautiful. Well, I am so proud of you and on behalf of all of our podcast audience, we’re so proud.

Emma: Thanks. Yeah, I feel a little anxious to be in this next part because there’s so much about this next part, trying to get a book published that you just really can’t control. Actually writing a book, you can decide if you’re gonna sit down and write and make the time for it. And obviously, there are factors you can’t control about your schedule and things of course. But there’s so much about just finishing a project when it’s wholly yours that is easier in some ways. And then this next part it feels like I’m handing it off to the world and I’m saying, well universe, are you gonna work with me on this or not? It’s a bit more nerve-wracking. I’m sure I will learn a lot and I feel grateful too. I mentioned this at the beginning of the year, I’ve been working on my mental health. I had a tough year last year, and so I’ve been making some changes in my life I feel like I’m in a place right now where I could take some rejection. I’m not hoping for rejection, but I feel grateful to be in a place where I could take some. So, yeah I’m just grateful. 

Elsie: That’s so wonderful, Emma. I’m so proud of you and I can’t wait to read it. I was thinking I wanna get it bound. You know how they can like put the little binding on at Staples or whatever, that’s what I need to do so that my kids don’t spread it all over the house again.

Emma: Yeah, I think last time I printed you my novel, I didn’t put page numbers on it, rookie mistakes. So this time I’ll definitely have page numbers. 

Elsie: Emma sent me her last novel right before the pandemic started, and then my kids mixed up all the pages but it’s still my fault that I didn’t print it out. I need to print it out again.

Emma: Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it I’m changing that one anyway. It’s gonna be a choose-your-own mystery book.

Elsie: Oh, I love that. Yeah. Anyway, I am so, so, so, so, so excited, and yeah, congratulations. Cheers, because that is a huge step forward.

Emma: It was on my list of goals this quarter, these 12 weeks. We talked about the 12-week year, check. 

Elsie: Yeah, I wanna hear everyone who reads the 12-week year. I know it’s old-timey, but I wanna hear the rest of your feedback. We already know it’s old-timey. Anyways, we’re gonna talk about the spring bucket list today. So this is one of our favorite episodes, we just love it, it’s one of the staples. We’re gonna do it every season until forever until we stop doing our podcast. So we’re back, we’re doing it. A little bit about why we love bucket lists in case you’re new or you’re like, what are you talking about? So I started right whenever I first became a mom and the thing I like about the seasonal bucket list is it’s just a list. It’s like one page long of things you wanna do this season, and activities, I usually put mine heavily towards fun things to do on the weekends. Crafts, I put in a movie or two, I put in a place like a restaurant or two things like that. And I don’t really put anything on there that is ambitious necessarily, it’s more like just fun things to do. And I like it because it keeps me doing a variety of things with my kids, which is challenging to do when you’re a busy parent and it’s easy to settle into routines where you do the same thing every night. You do the same thing every weekend, and it just brings more variety and more special memories to our life, which is one of my big goals because our kids are starting to be at the age now where they can make memories. They’ve been in the self-erased brain phase for many years now, and they’re finally getting to the age where they can remember things from last year for the first time, which is very exciting. So, I want to build these things where each spring, each summer, each Halloween, and Christmas, they will remember something we did last year and wanna do it again is the goal. It just, just makes life richer. Okay, so we will put in the show notes a spring bucket list that you can download. We have lots of ones we’ve made from the past year, so we’ll just throw one of those in there. So if you would like to print one out, that’s cute, you can. You can also just make it on a note on your phone or you can just write it on a piece of paper. It’s just like whatever you wanna do is good. Let’s go through our goals for this next season. 

Emma: So I’m thinking of spring, I think everyone can define it however they want, but I’m thinking like March, April, May, so those three months. And that’s where these three things are kind of falling for me. My first one is, I’m gonna go visit some friends next month in Detroit. So they live in Detroit, our friends Nathan and Ginny, I’ve been meaning to visit them. They are people who, they live in different areas every few years, or maybe longer in some ways. And I’ve been friends with them since I was in high school, so I visited them in lots of different places, which is really fun.

Elsie: Oh, that’s so cool. 

Emma: Yeah, and one thing I’m really looking forward to, Ginny was telling me that they have a really interesting bookstore. I think she took her parents and it sounded like I’m probably gonna get it wrong because I haven’t been there yet. But it’s kind of in a weird warehouse and it has kind of spooky vibes slash mysterious, library vibes.

Yeah, it sounded really cool. So I’m very excited to go to this kind of weird bookstore. I’m definitely gonna leave room in my suitcase so that I can fill it up with books. And she mentioned that it’s like an hour away, so it’s not really in Detroit proper but it’s some kind of German town, I forget the name of it. I’ll know more after the trip. I’ll put better things in the show notes later. But apparently, they have like one of the biggest Christmas stores in the whole world. I know it’s April, but I am interested in going to a Christmas store, yes. So I think we’re gonna do that one day too. So, weird bookstore, giant Christmas store, this is really gonna be a trip for me.

Elsie: Buy me some presents at the Christmas store. Oh my gosh, that sounds so fun. That sounds like the perfect trip. 

Emma: Yeah, I think it’s gonna be a blast. 

Elsie: Okay, my first big goal is that I wanna finish at least one more big load in my kiln before we move. So we are planning to move in June, and as I’ve shared previously, our house has been listed for sale we have been keeping it clean and perfect all the time because we have frequent house showings almost every day, sometimes more than one in a day. I’ve learned a lot of life lessons from it. The biggest one is I’ve never experienced this before, where I lived in a house that was for sale for several months and it had to be staged the way it looked in photos. So there’s no changing decor, it’s just we’re keeping it the same. Also, I can’t get out of projects that I can’t move. For example, yesterday I was making salad dressings for the blog and someone asked for a showing one hour later. So I cleaned the entire kitchen. We put our kids in the car and our dog and we went to the park and got ice cream and that was that, it’s been very challenging. So anyway, I’m not complaining, but I guess I feel it’s part of the life I’m in right now and I have to share that so that people can understand why I feel like I’m not having as many projects as I usually have because I can’t. So I miss my messy life and the thing I’ve learned from it is the feeling of waking up every day in a perfect house, like waking up in like a perfectly clean kitchen, with no mess anywhere, it is like a great feeling and I love it. I wouldn’t do it every day, I feel like cleaning my house where it’s perfect. Once a week or once a month is good enough for me and after this phase is over and our house is under contract, I will go back to the normal life of having messes. So anyway, we recently had Keeley and Michael come over and we made pots and then I just wanna get out my clay though and make like a whole bunch more but it makes this huge mess, painting them also makes a big mess. Yeah, I just need to find a couple more days to do that and then do a couple more loads in the kiln because the thing I really wanna finish two things I wanna finish my food, blogging, and little props that I’ve been making. I’ve been making these like small little white dishes that you know you can put some herbs in, or you can put like a little bit of honey or like things like that. And then I also wanna finish my Halloween dishes, I started kind of like the concept for it. Actually, I’ll put a picture in the show notes cuz I’m really happy with how it’s going so far. But I only have like a few and I wanna make at least a stack of them that we can use next Halloween. And I’ll pack them up and I’ll be so happy that they’re there. Then the third thing is I want to make at least a couple of vases because I haven’t tried making any vases yet. I feel like that is such an easy thing that I could use all the time that would just feel joyful. So yeah, that’s my goal for spraying a personal, like my personal creative goal. 

Emma: I love it. My second one is, we are going to do the exterior of our house. 

Elsie: So what all do you have planned? 

Emma: Yeah, so for anyone who doesn’t know I moved this past October, like literally like the day before Halloween. And we renovated this house pretty extensively from when we bought it. Like we redid all the floors and completely gutted and kind of redid the kitchen, all sorts of things. But we did not do pretty much anything to the exterior just because it wasn’t in our budget at the time. And we had like two ideas for the exterior and one was more budget-friendly and it was kind of our backup in case we needed it, and the other one was more expensive. And guess what? We’re going with the backup because surprise, surprise the inside took more money than we thought, which is fine, no big deal. We love it and we’re really happy here. So the plan for the exterior is, so the house has this like white siding and it’s not very old and it’s in really good condition, but it’s just really plain very plain white siding. And then sort of the front, like where the front door has brick and it’s like red brick and it also has a black trim around the windows, and a few other little spots. And the roof is like dark, I don’t know if it’s black, but it’s darker shingles. So the house is really cute and it’s in great condition, the roof is in good condition. The siding’s in good condition, nothing is in disrepair. It just doesn’t really feel like it has a style. It’s kind of the same problem the interior had when we bought it. It just doesn’t really have a style at all. It feels like people who owned it previously, and I don’t know them at all, but just it wasn’t a big priority to them, that’s what it feels like to me. If you were like, what era is this house? You’d be like, I don’t know. It’s a split level from the seventies or eighties. I don’t know. 

Elsie: To me it looks like a seventies ranch that has never really been updated or hasn’t recently been updated. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s not a ranch, it is a split level, and it has two stories. But anyway, it feels like it has four stories, it does not though it’s split-level. Anyway, regarding our budget idea, I guess I should just say what the more expensive idea was in case people are curious. We wanna do an all-black house, we love that kinda look. We did that with a previous house a few months before we ended up moving and it looked really cool and I just like that vibe. I think that it looks really pretty for Halloween. I think it looks really pretty for the holidays and I like it. And our neighborhood is really eclectic, there are lots of different style houses all throughout, so there’s no real, oh, you have to stick with this pallet. There’s nothing really like that around. But in order to do that, we would likely have to replace the siding because you can’t really paint siding and expect it to last, not this type of siding, it’s like vinyl. So, we’d have to replace the siding, which would be fairly pricey. And if the siding was in disrepair or really, really old and just needed to be replaced, then that’s what we would do and we would do it all black. But since it doesn’t really need to be replaced and there is a lot of it, we’re just gonna leave it white. So our budget idea was we were gonna do kind of a lime wash look to the brick and then add some more black accents and kind of change like a light sconce on by the front door and the numbers for the house are pretty old looking and we’re gonna update those. Kind of give it some modern feelings with a little bit of black but then kind of do like a rustic lime wash to the brick. It’s gonna hopefully in some ways feel a little farmhouse modern, which is not my number one style, but I think it could work really well with what we’re working with.

Elsie: Then you’ll get it all ready for having your Halloween porch in the fall. 

Emma: Yeah, and I just wanted to feel like we care. I just wanted to feel like it has a look and someone cares about it and they’ve put together an outfit for this house. That’s all I really want for it because it’s a really cute house and we’re really happy with it From the outside, it just doesn’t look like it has anything going on right now. So I’m excited to get that done in the next few months. 

Elsie: I think that’s a great idea. Yeah. Yeah. I did a lime wash, I don’t think it’s called lime wash, but I did the kind of natural paint on our current house where we live now. Sherry always says it’s like painting brick with more brick.

Emma: Yeah. No, this is more, it won’t look, yours looks painted like it’s more of a solid color. Yeah. It’ll look like, almost like cloudy over the brick.

Elsie: Like you can still see part of the brick and part of it’s white. 

Emma: Yeah, it’ll look almost like cloudy is the way I would best describe it, almost like it’s foggy over the brick. I don’t know, you can google lime wash brick and you’ll probably get the vibe. 

Elsie: Awesome. Well yeah, that sounds great. And it sounds like you figured out something that fits the budget that you can do now, and I sometimes think those are the best projects.

Emma: Yeah, because I’m like, we could do exactly what we wanted with the all-black, but it would probably be at least a few years, and realistically it’d probably be three to five years. So I’m like, why don’t we just do this for now? It’s really not that much money, and then I’ll at least have something and if we wanna change it in five years, we still could. It’s not like we’re really adding all that much. The main thing we’re doing is lime-washing the brick. So I don’t know, there’s really nothing to lose. So this will at least be a nice thing for now. And I think I may even end up liking it more than I think, I am anticipating liking it, but it might even be cooler than I think, we’ll see. 

Elsie: Yeah, I can’t wait to see it. I’m very curious because some of it I can imagine and some of it I can’t quite imagine, so I’ll just have to see it when it happens. Okay, so my next one is actually for my children. So this weekend we printed out the spring bucket list also for childhood magic and we printed that out and I let the kids pick their own items to put on there. It was very cute. But I noticed the thing that they just kept putting in different ways over and over and over and over is that they want to eat outside. That’s like a very main thing that they want is like they wanna eat popsicles outside, they wanna eat dinner outside, they wanna eat breakfast outside, it’s like everything is eating outside. That is doable, it’s simple. It’s a thing that I feel like for me at least, it’s a thing where if I don’t think ahead and intentionally do it, I would just stay in our same routine of the way we do things now and I would forget. So it’s the kind of thing that goes great on a bucket list because we wouldn’t remember to do it if it wasn’t on there, but it is actually very easy. 

Emma: I love it. Yeah. 

Elsie: So cute. What is your next one? 

Emma: Okay, my third one is something we’re doing together, so it is our Mother’s Day trip to St. Louis. So if you’ve been listening for a long time, you might know that last year we also did a Mother’s Day trip to St. Louis to kind of the St. Charles area. And this year we’re gonna be in a different area, but our brother and sister-in-law live up in St. Louis, and our, my side of the family doesn’t travel all that much, and so it just feels like a natural thing to fit in. Our mother’s birthday is also in May. And it just feels like a good fit. So we’re gonna do that again, and this time we’re gonna take all the kids to the science center, which I’m really excited about. I’ve actually never been, and I think it’ll be really cute and fun. 

Elsie: Yeah, I’m so excited. I think Nova’s gonna freak out because she is very interested in science right now, so that will be so fun.

Emma: Yeah, it’s gonna be a good time. 

Elsie: My third one is we’re on our countdown now, we are moving in three months and it does feel like it’s going fast. So we have a list of places we want to enjoy in Nashville and for us, it’s not necessary. There’s like lots of new restaurants and lots of like, I don’t even care though like I just wanna go to like our special places where we have memories. We have like a couple of breakfast restaurants that we used to go to all the time when Nova was little, and we have this steakhouse, I always talk about the Grandpa Steakhouse, that’s a thing that we have to do. There’s this sort of, rustic restaurant in Leaper’s Fork where we like to go. Just little special things that you know, and my garden center. I feel like I moved to live close to this garden center, it’s like the greatest of all time. So I don’t feel like I can buy a lot of plants right now because of moving, maybe I could buy a couple. They have a very robust gift shop in there so I can at least go in and enjoy it. Just as a thing to do because it is so joyful. And then there’s also just like little things that we’re gonna miss. The first thing Emma said was are we gonna hate living away from Trader Joe’s, the answer is yes. And things like Jenny’s ice cream shop, things like that. I don’t know, I just wanna enjoy it while it lasts. 

Emma: Well, you know, the Mother’s Day trip in May to St. Louis I’ll bring my cooler and just throw a bunch of Trader Joe’s in there throws in there on the way home, no problem.

Elsie: Oh my gosh, Emma has this cooler method, so if you live in a smaller, medium-sized town that does not have modern conveniences, like Trader Joe’s Chapels.

Emma: Oh my God. That sounds like I live in the frontier, I do not.

Elsie: Then tell us, if anyone has tips, If there’s like a genius tip, maybe there’s something that we don’t know. I feel like Trader Joe’s is one of the things I’m gonna miss so much. I might have to do the cooler method, it’s so sad.

Emma: Yeah, just fill up the cooler. You got the extra freezer, no problem. And then you got all the frozen foods that you need and your frozen croissants and you’re good. 

Elsie: Oh, okay so was that our whole bucket list? Is there anything else you have from that? 

Emma: Not really. I mean, those were my big three. Another thing I’m kind of doing, but it’s really haphazard, is I’ve been making jewelry specifically, I’ve been making like necklaces and I’m gonna make you one Elise but I was kind of waiting until you move, so I don’t have to mail it. But I just make ’em from my friends, like all my friends in my book club. And I’ve made myself a ton, obviously. It’s kinda like, a Little hobby that I can do in the evening and it only takes anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes depending on what I wanna do, like what part I’m doing. And I also like to go thrifting and find necklaces and take them apart and use those beads, it’s just like a little hobby. I feel like it’s your pottery thing, but way easier because all I bought for it was a caboodle and then beads. I don’t have like a kiln, but it’s just something fun.

Elsie: I need a hobby that is way easier too. I do feel like a miniature hobby would be a good thing to have right now. I have my books but I would like something that is a small drawing, painting, sculpture, or craft. That just sounds good. I don’t know if it’s the time of year, like, does anyone else have a spring crafting itch because I just really feel it right now or maybe it’s just cuz I can’t, so I want it more? 

Emma: That’s the perfect way to describe it. Just kind of like a miniature hobby because it feels like I can open up my little bead caboodle and do stuff and then I just put them back, and close it up. I can set that anywhere where Oscar can’t reach it and then it’s all cleaned up and I don’t have to worry about him trying to get into my beads or leaving a mess out or whatever. I like a little mini hobby where I can just work on it a little bit in the evening. Just something creative to do that feels just for me and just fun.

Elsie: Well I’ll give that some thought because that’s very inspiring. Okay, so our next section is talking about the book Think Again by Adam Grant. As we’ve shared previously, I love Adam Grant. I will put him on my must-follow list for Instagram. If you just enjoy, like, feeling inspired also a lot of his content is about critical thinking and being open-minded. I just like love his whole Instagram is one thing, it is a repost of tweets, which I normally would hate that I normally seriously would hate that. I just leave that to other people to follow those and post them. Adam Grant is special. I think it’s one of those special things, kind of like Sharon says, so Instagram where you can just have sort of like a gateway to being a better person in a small, like micro doable way, and I appreciate that. So anyway, I’ve wanted to have this book on our book report since the first month, but for whatever reason, we’re just doing it now. So I really enjoyed it. Did you enjoy it? 

Emma: Yes, very much and I made some notes in my notes app. I listened to this one, which Adam Grant reads and he has a really wonderful voice. So if you are interested in audiobooks, it’s a great audiobook. Anytime that I was really into a section and I knew I wanted to talk about it on this podcast. I would just put it in my notes app. so I’m pulling that up. So one, this was kind of earlier in the book and I’m gonna get some of the numbers wrong. So just whatever is in the book is what is correct, not what I’m about to say but you’ll see where I’m going with this. So he talks about how knowledge is always growing, and he said something around, since 2010, medical knowledge has doubled every seven years or something rapid like that. Again, I don’t know if I got the seven years right. I don’t know if it was 2010, but something rapid like that, like medical knowledge, has been doubling in my lifetime, definitely. So the idea there is we need to be able to change our beliefs on things just as fast as our knowledge is changing otherwise we’re gonna cling to outdated and wrong info. And a part of the beginning of the book is he’s kind of laying out why we should think again, why we should be open to changing our minds and reevaluating beliefs that we hold. And this was one of the things that he goes over is, well, why wouldn’t you if like our knowledge base is changing? And I just really appreciated thinking about that more and I even think sometimes about how there are textbooks that we read when we were in high school or college they’re probably wrong now, they’re just inaccurate and that’s okay. And so it’s like yeah, I need to change my ideas around certain things because what I might have been taught is no longer the most current correct information that we have. So it’s okay to update your ideas when you get new information, and we should always be open to hearing those, that new information and new ideas because something that we might believe, it’s not that we’re like an idiot for believing it, but it just happens to be outdated now there’s something new that’s been discovered or whatever, and I like that, it makes me feel very hopeful. That our world is getting smarter and better and that medical knowledge is changing and growing and doubling, that’s like awesome. But yeah, it means that we might need to change our beliefs around things and that is hard sometimes and he talks about that a lot. But anyway, I was into that. 

Elsie: Yeah, something that I love about Adam Grant that he kind of repeats often is that it’s important to not associate your beliefs with your identity, not make your beliefs a part of your identity, because if you do that, then you are unable to change them without dismantling your entire identity. That was such a great mind shift for me because I think I always felt like I was supposed to have beliefs that were a part of my identity. I always kind of thought that that was a good thing before learning to think about it differently. So I think that’s very encouraging and the idea of staying open to change your mind at any point for your entire life, I think is a very inspiring thought.

Emma: Same, and I think it feels a lot, I was gonna say safer but I think it’s even deeper than that. I’m not sure what to call it, but to know that the ideas that I hold, the beliefs that I hold are not me and that’s okay and that’s good. So I can change them and update them, and I could even change them and then go back if I have new information. That’s okay too and I like that it just feels like you’re a lot more flexible. You’re open to whatever’s happening in the world. You’re not this rigid, could break at any moment thing, you can change the world and that’s really good. I like that idea because I wanna be a part of the world and I wanna be a part when there’s new knowledge and new information out there and our ideas don’t have to be us, in fact, they’re not. Okay, and then another thing he was actually talking about, I think he was from a lesson, he’s also a professor, but he was talking about how he’s telling the students about this old SNL skit or sketch and the premise of it is there’s a tour guide who’s kind of doing like an infomercial about traveling to Italy or something. It’s supposed to be humorous, but the tour guide is like, look we can take you on a hike, but we cannot turn you into someone who loves hiking. So have realistic expectations about your vacation. If you’re a sad sack at home, you’re gonna be a sad sack here in Italy, it’s that kind of thing and I just really loved that because I love the idea that the power is yours to like love hiking or change your attitude about something or decide that something that used to bother you doesn’t bother you anymore like the power is yours. I love that idea and it’s also just a funny way to put it, that we can take you on a hike, but we can’t make you like hiking. Sometimes I do think, I think everyone does this, but I certainly do it. Where I romanticize something, I’m like, well, if I was just in a different house, then I would be happy. Or if I was just, you know, different thing, then I’ll have it all put together. I’ll be a person who drinks enough water, I don’t know, whatever it is. And it’s like, no, actually it doesn’t have anything to do with where you are it’s you. Are you a person who X, Y, Z has a good attitude, drinks water, and takes care of himself, whatever it is that you’re wanting to do or not going to Italy isn’t gonna change you you’re just gonna be the same person in Italy.

Elsie: It’s all true. Yeah, no I thought that was funny as well. Did you have any favorite stories from the book? 

Emma: I don’t know. Those were really the two things that stood out to me a lot because I put ’em in my notes app. Did you have a favorite story? 

Elsie: I did, I guess I’m gonna kind of spoil it, but I think you would still enjoy reading it again if you haven’t read the book because you have to hear it in Adam Grant’s voice. He was telling a story about a situation where a mother who had just had a premature baby was being recommended to do some routine vaccines and she was denying them because she had anti-vaccine beliefs from her subculture, like her friends and family groups that she was a part of. And you know that several doctors tried to persuade her with facts and information and it did absolutely nothing and she was like absolutely not. But then they had a special person who they nicknamed a vaccine whisperer who came and had conversations in certain situations and they explained the whole entire interaction. And the biggest thing that was different and that I learned from is that he was mainly just asking questions and listening. More questions, more listening, more questions, more listening, more questions, more listening, and then only telling her the same facts and advice that she had already been told after she asked for it and wanted to hear it. And that I think is a huge life lesson for me I think I have been at some points prone to wanting to win an argument or wanting to convince someone of something they don’t wanna hear or things like that. And I think after the last few years of the Internet, we’ve all seen this type of thing done better and worse and this is a story, I thought was very inspiring because it shows that there are paths to help people change their minds about information, but it’s not with yelling, it’s not with like mic dropping and things like that. So I was very inspired by it. 

Emma: Yeah, and I love the approach of just being curious about someone, like sincerely curious, not just trying to get to your point or trying to get them to see things your way, but really trying to understand where they’re coming from and what things are or what it is that they’re seeing and why they believe what they believe and understand that on a real level, a deep level. I think he had another story about a man who’s black, who’s African American, and he talks to KKK members and similar thing, he’s learning about them and befriending them in a real way, and a lot of times it seems to like they changed their beliefs about, racism.

Elsie: Yeah, that one was kind of different, but yeah that was like humanized something that previously wasn’t humanized. There are so many good stories in the book though. It’s definitely a very inspiring book. 

Emma: Yeah. What was your favorite section or theme?

Elsie: Well, I love the chapter called The Joy of Being Wrong, I liked the statistician or the pollster story. There was a story about someone who had predicted the results of an election and at the last minute they basically changed their prediction because they couldn’t stomach the reality of the candidate they didn’t want to win, winning but they still won anyway. It was just an interesting human story. But anyway, I like the idea of starting to be like, enjoy learning things that I’m wrong about, be curious and sort of excited to find gaps in my knowledge, things I need to learn more about, things I need to improve, all of that. I like it, it feels like a better life attitude and what I wanna teach my kids. 

Emma: Yeah, and I also like a number of the stories, like including that one about the pollster and they had their own political ideas and it was in conflict with the facts that they were seeing of what the stats were saying. I like the idea that with curiosity and learning about subjects, you can be agnostic. You can choose to not have an opinion while you’re learning about something and researching something, it doesn’t mean that you don’t wanna form an opinion later. You can do that later, but it might be really helpful not to enter the researching or interviewing or learning about time with like, oh, I’m a Democrat, or I’m, you know, whatever. I believe in God, whatever your thing, it’s like, well, maybe you wanna enter it with an open mind, I have no opinion on this. I’d just like to get all of the information and see what there is, which is a good way too. Curiosity doesn’t have to be an opinion or a point of view. 

Elsie: Yeah, no, for sure. Okay, so my takeaway that I love, and I immediately had a talk with Jeremy about how we can do in our parenting is I love the part about how it’s not really helpful or even like best practice to ask kids, what do you wanna be when you grow up constantly that instead, we can tell them, which is true. You can be lots of things when you grow up because he was saying that the average number of jobs for adults to have is 12. And when I think about my life and my career I feel like I’ve done almost everything that I’ve ever been passionate about as a job at some point. There are so many phases to it, there are ones that lasted a long time, and there are ones that were just for a season. So now I’ve started the practice of saying to my kids, you can be lots of things when you grow up, what are all the things that you wanna be? And they can list a lot of things and I’ve just realized suddenly this is so much more helpful and healthy for them than for them to just pick one thing because what is even the point of that? 

Emma: Yeah, and it’s that whole thing of like, don’t make your ideas your identity. If you’re like, well I’ve been saying since I was a kid, I wanna be a lawyer or whatever it is. Do lawyers just cause I feel like kids, they know about doctors and lawyers. 

Elsie: He had a really good story about that, about his cousin who became a doctor because he grew up saying it and then he kind of felt like his family expecting to do it and they really, really wanted him to and then, in the end, he’s happy with his career, but he is like, I don’t know if that’s what I would’ve picked if I felt like I didn’t have to. I just really don’t think you can pick a career when you’re in high school. I don’t know very many people who did or do pick exactly what they’re gonna do mainly for money at that age, you’re usually wrong. So, I don’t know. I think maybe having a giant list of things you wanna try or things you wanna experience. 

Emma: That’s kind of what I would say is like, you don’t wanna be like, well, I’ve, I’ve been saying since I was a kid, I’d be a lawyer. So even though maybe my interests have changed, or I’ve learned more about it and I realize it might not be a good path for me, you might feel kind of foolish. You might feel like you’ve already made this a part of my identity, so I better just dig in, and would be better if you’re like, well, your vocation isn’t who you are so you can do lots of different things. And when you’re young, which I would categorize young as all of life, then you can try different things and if something isn’t a fit anymore, you can potentially change it. And maybe you will use some of your training from whatever your last thing was into the new thing, or maybe not. It really depends because I feel like the example with the gentleman who went to medical school and he became a doctor, he really wanted to do business and he ended up doing some kind of business in the medical field and there’s no way he would’ve been able to do it as well if he hadn’t had his background in all his training. But he also felt like he spent a lot of time trying to fit into this mold that he had cast when really it wasn’t, it’s the thing that he was most excited about. 

Elsie: Yeah, I definitely think it’s okay to change your mind and in our lives, I would say my most stark example is owning that store. There are things like that where it’s like, it looks like a dream, it sounds like a dream, like on paper it’s a dream. It’s beautiful and everything about it is great, but just doing it every day was kind of boring. It was definitely one of the boringest jobs, it’s definitely the boringest self-employed job I ever had, it was very repetitive. We ended up starting a whole blog together because we were so bored in that store. So, everything worked great and I loved the store, I don’t regret it at all. But I think that the willingness to change and evolve and like pivot was very important because, at the time when we sort of like stepped back from it and then actually closed it, people were very freaking disappointed in it, in us doing that, I get it. There was an emotional attachment, it was special. I got married on the third floor, someone got engaged in our store. It was magical, but it was not a fulfilling career as we thought it would be. We learned something. 

Emma: For me, I don’t think it makes it less magical that we evolved personally. I like that you mentioned that you immediately were talking to Jeremy about incorporating this into your parenting I would say that even for people who aren’t parents just as a culture as a society, we should probably, and I think Adam Grant’s, one of his themes of the book is this, we should let people change. We should view that as a positive, good thing. We should let politicians change their minds. We should let people change their careers in their forties, fifties, and sixties, and not stigmatize it, or try to make anyone feel like they’re a failure or they’re weak for changing their mind. Those kinds of narratives we should change, and we each have the power to do that. We’re all contributing to a culture that we live in together with our communities. So you know, that’s something we can do, whether you’re a parent, whether you’re just whatever. There are all sorts of ways we can do that, but we should definitely make it a positively good thing that people change their minds, that people change and evolve and grow, especially as they have new information. That’s good! 

Elsie: So yeah, if you can’t tell, we loved the book. Let’s give it, I’m trying to think of what the rating system should be. 

Emma: 12 vocations out of 12.

Elsie: Okay. 12 out of 12 vocations, that’s fine. 

Emma: Which is five stars. 

Elsie: Our rating system is a little big. The important thing is if you’re gonna read this book, it’s great as an audiobook. I recommend it as an audiobook. Adam Grant, he’s a teacher, he’s got a great voice and it feels like you’re in a class that you wanna be in. I would I read a lot of books in this category and it is different from all the books I’ve read before. It really is just based on critical thinking, changing your mind, like that type of thing. Most of the books we read are about like, productivity or other things, nothing like that. This is a completely different book, but it still kind of fits into the category really well. So I feel like if you have some of those other ones on your shelf if you liked Big Magic and you like 12 Gear, you like the other ones that we’ve read, then I think this one fills a different gap and you should definitely add it.

Emma: I agree. 

Elsie: So we have received multitudes of feedback that your favorite part of the show now is no longer really the podcast, but it is just a joke and effect with Nova. So we heard you loud and clear, and Nova has been telling all her friends at school that she’s the best part of Mommy’s podcast, and she’s right. So yeah, let’s turn it over to a joke in a fact with Nova. 

Nova: Mom will you remember me in a second? 

Elsie: Yes, I would. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a minute? 

Elsie: Yes, I would. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a half an hour? 

Elsie: Yes, I would. 

Nova: Will you remember me in an hour? 

Elsie: Yes. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a day? 

Elsie: Yes. 

Nova: Will you remember me in two days?

Elsie: Yes. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a week? 

Elsie: Yes. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a year? 

Elsie: Yes, for sure. 

Nova: Will you remember me in a century? 

Elsie: Yes. 

Nova: Knock knock. 

Elsie: Who’s there? 

Nova: I thought you would remember me. 

Elsie: Good one. Thanks so much for listening. We’ll be back next week with a find your personal style, deep dive.

The weather is unseasonably cold this weekend, but I’ve been forcing myself to bundle up and take walks. Walking is like free therapy for me—I always end up feeling better.

In other news, I enrolled Norman in a training class and we have “homework” every week. It’s pretty darn cute … and a good challenge for both of us. 39-year-old dog mom over here!

1. I was 100% influenced by Emma when I bought this candle, and it smells as delicious as it sounds.

2. My favorite dry shampoo. It’s made with clean ingredients and works like a dream!

3. I’ve been wanting one of these lamps for a while. Should I go for it? It’s such a good price.

4. I bought a set of vintage lipsticks at the flea market the other day, and of course I ended up browsing lipstick holders on Etsy.

5. I’m always curious where people buy their phone cases, so here’s a link to mine. The colors change depending on the color of your phone.

6. I rewatched You’ve Got Mail the other night and TOTALLY cried at the end. I’m human after all!

7. The other day, a friend asked what kind of mascara I use (that’s always the best compliment, isn’t it?).

8. I’m a sucker for anything that has a fruit design on it—especially this T-shirt.

9. I ordered a butterfly doormat for my porch. It’s perfect for spring, which happens to start tomorrow.

10. I put this essential oil on my wrists and the bottom of my feet every night before bed. Highly recommend!

P.S. Here are a some recent posts in case you missed them:

• Tips for Hiring a Contractor
• Kool Aid Pie
• 30 Easy Finger Food Ideas
• 10 Things Sunday

This bread and butter pickles recipe is EASY. To be more specific, these are bread and butter refrigerator pickles; so you won’t have to learn how to can in order to make homemade pickles.

Bread and butter pickles are a little different from classic dill pickles in that they tend to be a little sweeter and use a variety of spices as opposed to mostly dill. So, the flavor is more rounded.

I love to add bread and butter pickles to burgers as well as chop them up into a relish to make quick tuna salad when I don’t have all the ingredients for my favorite deli-style tuna salad.

We also like to make a meat and cheese board for an easy at-home dinner date, and I usually will add some pickles and olives to that as well. There are MANY ways to use bread and butter pickles, or you can eat them all on their own as a delicious snack.

Related: Learn to make your own classic fried pickles OR air fryer pickles.

Ingredients:

• Cucumbers
• Shallot
• Salt
• White vinegar
• Apple cider vinegar
• Granulated white sugar
• Mustard seeds
• Turmeric
• Cloves

How to Make Bread and Butter Pickles:

Slice the cucumbers in the shapes you want your pickles to be in. This may be in small circles or in long rectangles; or a combination of the two. Sprinkle a little salt over the tops of them and let them sit while you prepare the brining liquid.

Slice the shallot, and set aside.

In a medium to large pot, combine the vinegars, sugar, mustard seeds, turmeric, and cloves. Cook over high heat, stirring until the sugar completely dissolves. Just as the liquid comes to a boil turn off the heat.

Add the cucumbers and shallots to jars. Then pour the hot liquid into the jars, so all the pieces get covered in the liquid. Add the lids and place in the refrigerator.

Leave the pickles for at least 24 hours to brine. I personally like them best in the 3-7 day range; but they are good after 24 hours, and especially if you like them on the crunchy side.

Tips and Substitutions:

• You can use all white vinegar instead of a mixture of white and apple cider vinegar if you need. I just like the flavor and color ACV brings.
• Sometimes I add a few red pepper flakes to the bringing liquid if I want to add a little heat to my pickles.
• Any reusable jar or container with a lid can work for brining and storing homemade pickles in the refrigerator. I prefer glass, but plastic can work as well.
• If you use plastic, just make sure it’s a kind that can withstand some heat, as the brining liquid with be very hot when you first add it.

Serving Suggestions:

Here are some recipes you might want to serve these homemade pickles with:

• Alongside this easy hamburger soup
• On top of a cheeseburger pizza
• Alongside these Italian beef sandwiches
• With an easy chicken salad sandwich

Print

Bread and Butter Pickles

easy, refrigerator pickles (no canning required)

Course condiment, Snack

Cuisine American

Keyword pickles

Prep Time 5 minutes

Cook Time 5 minutes

Brine Time 1 day

Total Time 1 day 10 minutes

Servings 10

Calories 104kcal

Author Emma Chapman

Equipment

• jars with lids

Ingredients

• 2 pounds cucumbers
• 2 tablespoons salt
• 1 ¼ cup vinegar white
• 1 cup vinegar apple cider
• 1 cup granulated white sugar
• 1 tablespoon mustard seeds
• ¼ teaspoon turmeric
• ⅛ teaspoon cloves

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• Slice the cucumbers in the shapes you want your pickles to be in. This may be in small circles or in long rectangles; or a combination of the two. 
• Sprinkle a little salt over the tops of them and let them sit while you prepare the brining liquid.
• Slice the shallot and set aside.
• In a medium to large pot, combine the vinegars, sugar, mustard seeds, turmeric, and cloves. 
• Cook over high heat, stirring until the sugar completely dissolves. Just as the liquid comes to a boil turn off the heat.
• Add the cucumbers and shallots to jars. 
• Then, pour the hot liquid into the jars, so all the pieces get covered in the liquid. 
• Add the lids and place in the refrigerator.
• Leave the pickles for at least 24 hours to brine. 

Notes

• I personally like these pickles best in the 3-7 day range; but they are good after 24 hours and especially if you like them on the crunchy side.
• You can use all white vinegar instead of a mixture of white and apple cider vinegar if you need. I just like the flavor and color ACV brings.
• Sometimes I add a few red pepper flakes to the bringing liquid, if I want to add a little heat to my pickles.
• Any reusable jar or container with a lid can work for brining and storing homemade pickles in the refrigerator. I prefer glass, but plastic can work as well. If you use plastic, just make sure it’s a kind that can withstand some heat as the brining liquid with be very hot when you first add it.

Nutrition

Calories: 104kcal | Carbohydrates: 22g | Protein: 1g | Fat: 1g | Saturated Fat: 0.04g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 0.3g | Sodium: 1399mg | Potassium: 152mg | Fiber: 1g | Sugar: 21g | Vitamin A: 66IU | Vitamin C: 3mg | Calcium: 20mg | Iron: 0.4mg

For years, one of my most often asked questions is, “How do you find a good contractor?” There’s so much to it that I always felt kind of like, where do I begin.

We’ve been renovating homes nearly constantly for 10 years now. In that time, we made plenty of mistakes and learned lessons the hard way. In this post, I’ll share my personal tips for finding trustworthy contractors and managing them yourself.

I’ll also share how I search for new contractors and get the most accurate quotes. I’m so excited to share this with you as renovating has been a true joy to me and something I am very proud of. I’ll help you make your first experience as painless as possible.

The difference between a general contractor and tradespeople:

A general contractor is a project manager who manages all the work being done on your home. For most projects (for example, a kitchen or bathroom), if you want to be able to hire just ONE person who takes care of the entire project, you will need to hire a general contractor.

It’s rare that any contractor will do an entire renovation project solo (and it will likely be a longer timeline). A general contractor will oversee your project by planning it, hiring all the tradespeople needed, sometimes sourcing and buying needed supplies, and checking in daily (or frequently) to make sure everything is on track.

A tradesperson is someone who does one trade. For example, when you renovate even the smallest half bathroom, you may need a tile person, a wallpaper installer, a plumber and an electrician.

I recommend looking for tradespeople who specialize in one trade as they are often the most skilled and professional. I recommend working only with licensed contractors— especially on essential functions of the home like electrical and plumbing.

Pros and cons: The pro of working with a general contractor is that they will manage the project for you. You will have less responsibility and it can save a lot of time, especially if you don’t know any trades you like and you would need to hire everyone from scratch.

Another pro of a general contractor is that if a problem arises with a trade (often not showing up), it is their job to take care of it. If you are a person who hates confrontation, this is something to consider.

One last pro of a general contractor is that you will receive one quote that includes everything. It’s a quicker way to figure out the cost of your project. The cons of working with a general contractor are that their project management services, understandably, cost money.

The overall budget for your project will be at least 20% more, and in my experience, it was more than that.

For tradespeople, I will start with the cons. For me, the biggest con is all the hiring of new trades. There is an interviewing process (more on that soon) that is time consuming.

Anytime you are renovating for the first time in a new area, you have to find a new lineup of tradespeople who you like and trust. When starting a huge project, like a slow whole house remodel, it can be worth it to find all these people.

In my experience, when you find great trades you can work with them for years. The other major con of foregoing a general contractor is the added responsibilities of managing trades yourself. You will be responsible for paying them directly and working out any conflicts that may arise.

The biggest pro of working directly with trades is probably the budget savings.

My personal preference: In the early years of our renovations, we chose to work directly with trades and not a general contractor because it was the only option that fit our small budgets. As the years went by, I became familiar with the process and comfortable being the project manager.

I remember it being so stressful in the beginning, but over time I found a comfortable rhythm. These days, I love working directly with tradespeople and find it easier, faster, and less expensive to get exactly the outcome I want.

I am able to be honest immediately when I see something I don’t like or that is not going to plan. Developing good communication skills is a must. Since I became used to working directly with trades, it is now my preference for most small cosmetic projects.

I love that I can save some of my budget by self managing to splurge in other places. I would still hire a general contractor for projects I am inexperienced in and anything on the scale that requires a permit.

For major projects, there is also a hybrid approach to consider.

If you want a general contractor, and need to save budget, tell them you already have your own painter or floor person. Trades like that are the easiest to find a hire. That way, you’ll save a bit on the markup on a few of the highest budget items.

Tips for hiring a contractor or trades:

I am currently looking for a general contractor for some of the large scale work on our new home. Here’s how I searched:

• Ask people in your neighborhood if there are any trusted teams that work there a lot.
• My ideal contractor is always one with a medium price point. I never look for the cheapest contractors because they often get more expensive with time and bring too much personal drama into my project.
• If the price is shockingly low, be very cautious. In my experience, I am looking for someone who tells me a real price that has reasoning behind it. For things like wood floors and tile there is usually a price per square foot. For things like custom built-ins, the price may be more obscure to you, and that is normal.
• In my experience, the medium priced contractors are the true best priced option and it’s usually best to go with the reasonable price instead of the bargain.
• Ask people in your neighborhood for specific trade recommendations. Do you have a plumber you like?
• Ask people what contractor team specializes in your type of home (historic? mid-century? new build?).
• Ask every person you know who has renovated in the past five years. Ask specifically Would you hire them again after your experience with them? and What are their strengths and weaknesses? No renovation is perfect, so it’s good to find out how their handled mistakes and challenges.

Let’s talk interviewing. I consider the first appointment both an opportunity to get a quote AND and interview on my part. I’ve learned that the best contractors will also be interviewing you to see if you will be a good client (more on how to prepare below).

Once you have a shortlist of a few GCs or trades you want to interview (I would do two or three interviews/quotes for each role you are filling), it’s time to prepare for your first appointment.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to ask for a quote and nothing else. This is your chance to try to learn more about how they operate and what to expect. Here are some good things to consider asking for:

• Photos of similar projects they are proud of, or really any photos they are proud of. Let them show you what they are best at.
• A couple references of local houses you can call. Often they will even try to arrange to let you see their renovation in person.
• Ask – What precautions do you find help most to keep a project on budget?
• Ask – What hidden costs do you foresee in my renovation?
• Ask – What is your usual timeline like? What are some ways we can keep our project on schedule?
• Tell them you need to agree on a payment schedule at the beginning that is supply costs up front and then a payment each time a mile marker on the project is completed.

Try a test project. Before you hire a contractor to do a big renovation, hire them to do something smaller. I would especially recommend this for anyone gearing up for a large or full house renovation.

If you have a chance to do something smaller first—just a bathroom, for example, you will be able to make sure you like the team and work well together before jumping into a bigger commitment together.

A sexism pep talk for women. Navigating sexism is something that has come up often for me as a woman hiring primarily men contractors and tradespeople. Many (many) times male contractors have walked into our home for the first time, taken a look around and ask, “What does your husband do?”

It’s absolutely shocking and never OK, but for me it has also been a necessary evil. I see it as accepting the world I live in, not the world I wish I lived in. To be fair, I have worked with many respectful men, but here are my tips for when sexism does arise:

• My husband and I let them know clearly that I am the one in charge and that he doesn’t need to OK anything. My husband intentionally doesn’t weigh in on opinions and asks me what I think in front of a new contractor to set the tone. His answer for everything is, “You’d better ask Elsie.”
• By being very prepared for your first quote meeting you will show them that you are serious and you know exactly what you want.
• One of the major things I run into is contractors trying to talk me into and out of choices. Often they have good intentions and are just trying to do for you what they usually do. While it’s good feedback about items like safety or function, it’s frustrating to be repeatedly questioned on design choices. Now I always prepare for this with lots of photos.
• Never let a contractor talk you into something you don’t want or don’t like just because you feel put on the spot. Say you need a day to think it over.

How to prepare to get a quote:

When we did our first big remodel, I was ghosted by contractors a lot. They would come to my house to give me a quote and then I would never get the quote and never hear from them again. Years later, I realize that I was the problem.

When a contractor showed up at my house, I would be unprepared and just walk through the house with them talking about how I wanted each room to look. Often I didn’t even know exactly what I wanted, but I still expected them to send me a quote.

Contractors do not want to work with people who are still deciding what they want. They want a project that is understandable and ready to begin in a certain time frame.

The other mistake I made in early years was never saying my budget. I was so focused on trying to get a good deal that I mistakenly believed that not saying my budget would bring me a lower quote.

Contractors cannot read your mind and with good contractors the prices are not really negotiable. It’s unfair to invite a contractor over to get a quote without having at least a ballpark budget of what you are hoping to pay.

In fact, I have often found it more helpful to say your true IDEAL budget as many contractors will try and help you adjust the scope of your project to fit your budget. It’s a good starting point and helps you get on the same page.

All the things I prepare before meeting with a contractor:

I have found that fully preparing (some would say over-preparing) helps me get the most accurate quotes and have a more productive first meeting with a new contractor.

It also shows them that I will be a responsible client and good communicator. I like to take my time and spend at least a few nights preparing all the visuals and examples before meetings begin.

• Sketches of how I want my project to look (be as detailed as possible).
• All of my sources are picked out. Currently, I am preparing for a bathroom quote and I chose the vanity, tub, all the hardware, the tile, and even the toilet before my first meeting with a potential contractor.
• Visual examples. Pinterest photos that show all the details of your project. This is not a mood board where the colors and vibe matters—–this is a way to communicate if you want your tile installed a special way or you want an arched door added.
• Never assume they can see what is in your head. Always double communicate by showing examples.
• Know your ideal time frame. They will always want to know when they can start and when you need it done by. If you are renovating before moving into a new house, I recommend saying everything “needs” to be done one to two months before you move in. Delays are normal and you will want a chance get it cleaned up before moving in.
• Know your budget. Know the lowest price you are hoping to pay as well as the highest you are willing to pay for a job.

When I first started renovating, I was always afraid to seem high maintenance or fussy, when really those words are just synonyms for being very detailed and invested in my renovation.

Now, I don’t try to mask those qualities. I let contractors know that I do care about the details. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s far better for everyone involved to be extremely specific about what you want than to go into a project without a plan.

How to budget for overages and the unexpected:

You’ve probably heard to old advice, “It will cost twice as much and take twice as long as what they say.” This was definitely true for the bargain contractors I hired early on in my renovations.

I haven’t found it to be true across the board, though. Unexpected expenses will pop up! Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Contractor quotes don’t include unexpected problem-solves in their quotes. We have had them on almost every gut renovation we’ve ever done. Sub floors are rotten and need replaced, hard woods aren’t salvageable and need to be replaced, mold is found and has to be remediated. These types of problems are common.
• There are usually more supplies than you anticipate. Little things add up, even if you are careful.
• My personal problem is that I usually keep adding ideas on after I have my quote, which adds expenses.

Here’s how I keep myself on budget and also always have funds to cover for an unexpected expense:

• Always keep at least $10K or 20% (whatever is more) on hand for unexpected expenses. You just never know. It’s up to you how much overage you prepare for.
• I recommend always having a healthy mini emergency fund that is designated for your renovation. Once a room is gutted, you really have no choice but to put it back and you need to be prepared to pay for unexpected repairs and expenses.
• Schedule your renovation from most to least important. If you are on a tight budget, it’s smart to do your “big win” renovations first. These are essential repairs, kitchen, and bathroom renovations for most homes. Then you can do your “nice to have” items next, like adding a new porch or adding a bunch of wallpaper.
• In my budgets, I always know which items I will cut from my plan if I begin to go over budget.
• As I alluded to above, there is a correlation between hiring experienced, reputable contractors and staying on budget. I would rather cringe at the price up front and stay on budget than go way over the bargain budget I was told. Reasonable quotes for the win!

I really enjoyed sharing this and I hope it helps some of you avoid some of the pitfalls and mistakes I made in the past. Ultimately, renovating is usually a challenging process with a big reward at the end.

Keep your chin up, keep your eye on the prize, and don’t beat yourself up over things you can’t control. It’s normal to feel completely burnt out near the end of a renovation, and in my experience it fades quickly as soon as you are completed.

What to see some of my renovation projects?

• How We Built a Hidden Room
• Green Living Room
• Entryway Tour
• Library Dining Room
• When an Open Floor Plan is Too Open
• My previous home tour

If you have any useful renovation tips, I’d love to hear them in the comments! Elsie

Mushy peas are pretty much exactly what they sound like. If you’ve never tried it before, it’s a must!

I first had mushy peas when I did a summer semester as an exchange student in London (in college). I hope that sounds very cultured because I like to make these alongside frozen fish sticks and French fries. Very cultured, indeed.

This recipe for mushy peas goes great with fried fish and chips, or it can be served alongside many other main dishes when you need something simple (and green) to brighten up your meal.

Peas are a great source of plant protein and fiber. This recipe is REALLY easy to make, requires only a few ingredients, and tastes bright and flavorful—much like this pea soup that I love.

Related: If you love this mushy pea recipe, try this classic pea salad with bacon.

Ingredients:

• Peas – I use frozen peas
• Garlic
• Butter
• Cream – Half and half or even whole milk
• Salt and pepper
• Lemon

How to Make Mushy Peas:

In a sauce pan, heat the butter over medium heat. Cook the minced garlic for a minute until fragrant. Then, toss in the frozen peas. Cook until softened. Lightly season everything with salt and pepper.

In a food processor, puree the cooked pea mixture with the cream. The mixture will still be quite thick. Now add the juice from the lemon and puree. Taste and add more salt and pepper as needed.

If you’d like your mushy peas even thinner in consistency, you can add a little more cream or even some water and puree before serving.

Tips and Substitutions:

• If you want this dish to be non-dairy or vegan, simply swap the butter and cream for a non-dairy version (like vegan butter, or olive oil, and oat milk or even just water).
• This is an easy, accessible version of mushy peas. If you want a more traditional option, you’ll want to soak dried marrowfat peas overnight before cooking. Traditional mushy peas also call for adding baking soda to the simmering peas, causing them to expand and explode. But this version can be made in about 5 minutes, and frozen peas are much more accessible where I live.
• If you don’t own a food processor, you can also puree this in a blender or with an immersion blender. The peas will be very soft so you could also do this by hand with a spoon or masher.

What to Serve Mushy Peas With?

Here are some recipes that go well with this side dish:

• Air Fryer Salmon
• Air Fryer Seasoned French Fries
• Air Fryer Chicken Tenders

Print

Mushy Peas

a quick and easy version of British mushy peas

Course condiment, Side Dish

Cuisine English

Keyword peas

Prep Time 1 minute

Cook Time 4 minutes

Total Time 5 minutes

Servings 4

Calories 97kcal

Author Emma Chapman

Equipment

• Food processor

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon butter
• 2 cloves garlic
• 10 ounces peas frozen
• 2 tablespoons half and half
• salt and pepper
• 1 lemon

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• In a sauce pan, heat the butter over medium heat. 
• Cook the minced garlic for a minute, until fragrant. 
• Then, toss in the frozen peas. Cook until softened.
• Lightly season everything with salt and pepper.
• In a food processor, puree the cooked pea mixture with the cream. The mixture will still be quite thick.
• Now add the juice from the lemon and puree.
• Taste and add more salt and pepper as needed.

Notes

• If you’d like your mushy peas even thinner in consistency, you can add a little more cream or even some water and puree before serving.
• If you want this dish to be non-dairy or vegan, simply swap the butter and cream for a non-dairy version (like vegan butter, or olive oil, and oat milk or even just water).

Nutrition

Calories: 97kcal | Carbohydrates: 14g | Protein: 4g | Fat: 3g | Saturated Fat: 2g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.3g | Monounsaturated Fat: 1g | Trans Fat: 0.1g | Cholesterol: 8mg | Sodium: 34mg | Potassium: 232mg | Fiber: 5g | Sugar: 5g | Vitamin A: 639IU | Vitamin C: 43mg | Calcium: 35mg | Iron: 1mg

Each time we move to a new home (which has been way too many times), I order a custom address stamp from Etsy.

It’s a small thing, but I always appreciate having it when I am addressing my holiday cards, and it looks chic and professional for sending happy mail to our friends and family.

I’ve recently purchased some other types of custom stamps, and in today’s post, I want to share them all with you.

Custom Rubber Stamps

There are so many cool custom stamps that are made to order on Etsy and Amazon. They are more affordable than you think—and so useful.

Here are a few ideas for stamps you can order to use in your everyday life:

• Custom Return Address Stamp
• From the Library of Stamp
• Custom Logo stamp for Small Biz Owners
• Custom Book Embosser
• Kids Art Stamp
• Custom Portrait Stamp (we used this for our wedding invitations)
• Personalized Teacher Stamp

Custom Address Stamps

Each time we move to a new home, I order a custom return address stamp from Etsy. This is the exact design I am currently using, and this is the address stamp I chose for our next home.

Links: Parker Stamp / Andersons Stamp / First Name Stamp / Williams Stamp / Thompson Stamp / Hampton Stamp

Custom Teacher Stamps

I have found so many great options for teacher stamps. These stamps are helpful for grading and personalizing notes from teachers.

Links: Bitmoji Stamp / Like Stamp / Face Stamp / Sign and Return Stamp / Classroom Stamp / Seal of Approval Stamp

Custom Library Stamps

After I built my kids a hidden library, I ordered them a stamp to personalize their books. We don’t do it for every single book, but the kids enjoy adding the stamp and it’s great for books. I give them as gifts, too.

Links: Embossed Stamp / Moon Stamp / Teachers Stamp / Feather Stamp / Leaf Border Stamp / Cursive Stamp

Custom Wax Seals

I purchased an L monogram stamp from Etsy. You can also create fully custom designs. I love choosing from the different colors of melting wax. Wax seals are such an old-fashioned, luxurious way send a letter.

An important note is that when you send a wax sealed envelope in the mail you need to add 15 to 20 cents for “non-machinable surcharge.”

If you don’t want to pay the extra postage, I recommend using your wax seal for cards you will hand out in person instead.

Links: Sealing Wax Sticks / Eucalyptus Wax Stamp / Letter Wax Stamp / Wax Seal Set / Sealing Wax Kit / Swan Wax Stamp

Related links:

• How to Carve Your Own Stamps
• Make Your Own Stamped Necklace
• Gold Stamped Ring Dish

If you’re hosting a party or barbecue, attending a potluck, or simply love bite-sized appetizers, this recipe roundup is for you!

Finger foods are easy-to-prepare appetizers that are typically small and individually-sized. You don’t have to worry about making a mess when you’re eating finger foods.

Related: Check out our snacks + appetizers archive for more ideas.

This roundup of easy finger food ideas consists of things like:

• Pigs in a Blanket
• Dips and Spreads
• Snack Mixes
• Deviled Eggs
• Bite-Size Desserts

And more!

Pigs in a Blanket

Pigs in a blanket is one of the most popular finger foods. They are so easy to make! This recipe is essentially two ingredients, and you can make homemade dipping sauce for them if you’re feeling fancy.

Get the Recipe

Homemade Chex Mix

Homemade Chex mix is 1000% more tasty than store bought snack mix. It doesn’t even compare! This recipe can be customized to your liking, and you can even add candy for a sweet and salty snack.

Get the Recipe

Homemade French Onion Dip

Homemade French onion dip is creamy, decadent and the perfect blend of savory with a little sweet. Serve it alongside fresh cut vegetables, crackers, or chips.

Get the Recipe

Deviled Eggs (3 Ways!)

Deviled eggs are a classic finger food for pretty much any occasion. This recipe includes a traditional version and two unique ways to make deviled eggs using ingredients like feta, dill, turmeric, and ginger.

Get the Recipe

Spring Rolls With Spicy Peanut Sauce

Fresh spring rolls are versatile—you can make them for dinner or you can enjoy them as an appetizer/finger food. And they are really easy to put together! Grab a vegetable chopper to make the process a little quicker.

Get the Recipe

Easy Popcorn Balls

Let’s throw something sweet and savory in the mix with these easy popcorn balls. You can easily customize this dessert with sprinkles, small candies, or breakfast cereal to fit any holiday or gathering.

Get the Recipe

Pretzel Pizza Bites

This recipe for pretzel pizza bites is as good as it sounds. Soft chewy pretzels combined with gooey melted cheese get dusted in fresh herbs and then dunked in hot marinara sauce.

Get the Recipe

Easy Cream Cheese Fruit Dip (4 Ways!)

You’ll love one (or all) of these easy 5-minute cream cheese fruit dips for your next party. Choose from vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, or caramel and serve with fresh fruit, pretzels, or vanilla wafers.

Get the Recipe

Crispy Air Fryer Wings

Wings in an air fryer? Oh, yes! This is a simple recipe for super crispy air fried chicken wings that can be easily be customized with any wing sauce or hot sauce. These are sure to be a crowd-pleaser.

Get the Recipe

Spicy Avocado Hummus 

I love serving hummus when hosting a party. This homemade hummus is made with creamy avocado, red pepper, and jalapeños. Serve it with veggies or pita chips for a tasty appetizer. This hummus is great on mini toasts, too.

Get the Recipe

Spicy Pimento Cauliflower Bites

These spicy cauliflower bites are crunchy, spicy and pair so well with the creamy pimento cheese dip that goes with them. This recipe can be made with chicken if you don’t prefer a veggie option.

Get the Recipe

Nutella Puppy Chow

You may call it “puppy chow” or “muddy buddies,” but regardless of the name, this sweet bite-sized treat is absolutely delicious. Make a double batch just in case you run out—it’s addictive!

Get the Recipe

Stuffing Meatballs 

You don’t have to wait for the holidays to enjoy these amazing meatballs. They are easy to make, juicy, and delicious. They have all the flavors of Thanksgiving Day stuffing. Yum!

Get the Recipe

Baked Chili Cheese Chips

This is a lightened up version of Fritos with all ingredients you can pronounce (but still dangerously good). Fill a bowl with this homemade bite-sized snack and watch it disappear.

Get the Recipe

Grape & Honey Goat Cheese Crostini

Honey goat cheese pairs so well with the sweet taste of roasted grapes and rosemary. And it all comes together in a nice crunch with a toasted crostini underneath. Your guests will love this recipe.

Get the Recipe

Crispy Air Fryer Chickpeas

These chickpeas are anything but boring. Air fried chickpeas are ultra crispy, and there are so many options to season them with depending on your preference. Bonus points for a healthy finger food option!

Get the Recipe

Easy Creamy Chicken Dip

A delicious recipe homemade dip recipe that combines chicken with cream cheese and the salty tang of soy sauce. Serve on top of cucumber slices or with crackers.

Get the Recipe

Honey Butter Board

Have you tried the butter board trend? I can’t think of a better way to enjoy softened honey-infused butter with things like bread, toasted bagels, or croissants. So fun for a party or potluck!

Get the Recipe

Rocky Road Caramel Popcorn

I love setting popcorn out for a party, and a bite-size dessert like rocky road caramel popcorn (with marshmallows and chocolate chips) is a fun twist on a caramel corn. And, as always, homemade popcorn is so much better!

Get the Recipe

Baked Jalapeño Poppers (3 Ways)

I made these baked jalapeño poppers for an autumn party and they were a huge hit. This recipe has three flavor options with ingredients like pineapple, crushed chips, and bacon/ facon.

Get the Recipe

Rotel Cheese Dip

Rotel cheese dip is a great appetizer for literally any occasion—it’s a classic, easy, two-ingredient recipe that you can make in a crockpot. And it’s even better with fresh chopped cilantro on top.

Get the Recipe

Cheesy Sage Madeleines

If you’ve never had sage madeleines before, think of them as cheesy cornbread muffins. If you’re serving chili or soup, these are perfect companions, but they are also delicious on their own.

Get the Recipe

Chocolate Mousse Strawberries

Strawberries are a sweet guilt-free (bite-sized) treat, but filling them with rich chocolate mousse and chopped nuts is next level indulgent. This recipe is also dairy-free!

Get the Recipe

Whipped Feta Dip

This whipped feta dip is one of Elsie’s favorite appetizers, and it can be “whipped up” in less than 20 minutes. This honey-topped dip is sweet and salty, creamy, and totally unique.

Get the Recipe

Mini Polenta Pizzas with Roasted Tomatoes

Here’s a fun finger food idea—bite-size pizzas made with polenta and roasted tomatoes. These pizzas are topped with mozzarella and crispy on the outside with a savory, soft middle.

Get the Recipe

Crunchy & Cheesy Asparagus Sticks

I love this cheesy and crunchy asparagus-based finger food. Inspired by Emma’s favorite sushi recipe, these are made easy with pre-packaged cheese sticks. Serve them with homemade dip for the full experience.

Get the Recipe

Golden Spiced Sopapillas 

Having a taco-themed dinner? I can’t think of a better time to enjoy homemade fried sopapillas. The dough in this recipe gets spiced up cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, and a little black pepper.

Get the Recipe

Smoked Salmon Dip

A creamy and savory dip made of smoked salmon and cream cheese (plus a few other ingredients). This appetizer is super easy to make! Serve it with pita chips, crackers, or vegetables.

Get the Recipe

Baked Potato Chip Crab Cakes

Baked potato chips? That’s right! These mini crab cakes have an added salty crunch from potato chips, and they can be made ahead in a muffin tin. And they look fancy.

Get the Recipe

Egg White Bites

These Starbucks “copycat” egg white bites are so easy and delicious. You can mix in a variety of ingredients (like sausage or veggies) before baking them. I would definitely take these to a weekend brunch or potluck.

Get the Recipe

Looking for More Recipe Ideas? Check Out …

• 5 Easy Crostini Appetizers
• 15 Easy No-Bake Desserts
• 40 Easy 30-Minute Dinner Ideas
• 50+ Healthy Breakfast Recipes

This week, we’re dissecting another favorite comfort watch movie for decor and home inspiration.

This is an ongoing series for us, and this week’s selection is You’ve Got Mail, a Nora Ephron film from 1998. This is definitely a millennial comfort movie to THE CORE.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

A big thank you to our sponsors! Check out the offers from Ritual, Shopify, BetterHelp, and Kitsch.

And, if you’re looking for a specific code you heard on the podcast, you can see a full list on this page!

Show Notes

Our favorite design elements:

Kathleen’s brownstone apartment:

-Window seat
-Decorative daisy trim around the doors
-Hung plate collection

Kathleen’s bookstore “The Shop Around The Corner”:

-Twinkle lights
-Checkered floors

Joe’s apartment:

-Black metals
-Sharper edges
-Modern style

Other cozy inspiration:

-Meg Ryan’s fairy hat

Fashion:

-Cozy outfits: cardigans, white tights with a skirt, sweaters
-’90s hair: small highlights and crisscrossed middle part
-Baggy suits

What aged well vs. what did not in this movie: 

-Technology
-Flirting online while in a relationship

Rate the movie from 0 to 5 bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils:

Elsie – 5
Emma – 5

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #173: The 12 Week Year
• Episode #172: Preparing For a Big Move!
• Episode #171: Elsie’s Moving Home to Missouri

Episode 174 Transcript:

Emma: You’re listening to the A Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen. This week we’re dissecting a favorite comfort watch movie for decor and home inspiration. This is an ongoing series for us, and this week’s selection is You’ve Got Mail a Nora Efron film from 1998. This is definitely a millennial comfort movie to the core. I was so excited to rewatch this one. 

Elsie: Yeah. I had such a wonderful time, we actually watched it on Valentine’s Day. It’s so cozy and magical, wonderful, all the things. Should we describe it a bit, I know there’s probably isn’t anyone who hasn’t watched, but just in case 

Emma: Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Just in case. 

Elsie: Okay, so Joe Fox played by Tom Hanks, he’s pretty much a person who owns Barnes and Noble, who’s opening a Barnes and Noble in New York City. But they don’t call it Barnes and Noble. 

Emma: They call it Fox Books. 

Elsie: Kathleen Kelly played by Meg Ryan is the owner of a magical, beautiful little bookshop called the Shop Around the Corner, which is also right around the corner from the imposing Barnes and Noble. They have become sort of like online pin pals in the earliest, most primitive possible version of the internet. And so yeah, the movie is called You’ve Got Mail because it’s still in the era where the computer says you’ve got mail every time she opens her computer. It is very nostalgic from a technology standpoint, kind of shocking, kind of jarring, it makes the passage of time really clear. Tom Hanks is old, but he’s not that old, things have really changed in this amount of time, it’s stunning. Beyond that, it’s honestly a simple, cozy romantic comedy. 

Emma: Yeah, that’s what I would say too. And if you’re a book lover, then it’s one of those movies where there’s two different bookstores in it and lots of, you know. So I feel like a lot of times when I read books, obviously, authors love reading because they’re writers. So there’s a lot of like bookstores and libraries tend to pop up as common things, so it’s fun to see them in movies too, because I am a book lover, as is Elsie, so that’s fun. 

Elsie: Yeah. So now that I’m a literary person, I can make comments like this. Have you noticed that in every single book and movie, when there’s a literary female character, her favorite novel is always Pride and Prejudice. It’s always, always, always pride and prejudice every single time.

Emma: I wanted to talk about that too, because, I found it a little funny. Okay, so number one, I will say I love Pride and Prejudice, I really do. It is definitely in my top 10 or at least the top 20 books of all time. I Love Jane Austin, generally, Pride and Prejudice is probably one of my favorites, so I get it, man. It’s not like I’m hating, but I also felt like you own a bookstore and your listing is your favorite book, the most cliche pick of all time. I just found it kind of strange, because they were talking about their favorite books and I’m like, wouldn’t you wanna pick something a little bit different?

Elsie: Yeah, I agree because I know book-snob people now and they don’t name that as their favorite novel. So anyway, just an interesting thing that for some reason, even though it’s been about maybe 30 years almost since this movie was made, hasn’t changed at all. In the movies and books, everyone still just loves Pride and Prejudice and only has references from that. Anyway, so let’s talk. We’re gonna dissect the movie for cozy inspiration. So last time we did twilight and twilight, I will say it was low on the cozy inspiration meter. Not like zero, but it’s lower. This one is very, very, very high on the inspiration meter, I would call this movie like Eye Candy. I could enjoy watching it with the sound off. Like just looking at stills. So if you haven’t watched it or you haven’t watched it in years, Google, You’ve Got Mail, movie stills, or You’ve Got Mail, apartment and you will see all the things we’re talking about. So I wanted to first talk about Kathleen’s Brownstone apartment.

So this is one of the very, very Coziest movie sets, most iconic movie sets of, I would say, all romantic comedies. It is romantic comedy gold, so I love it. So let’s just dissect for a minute. So first of all, it has a window seat in the front living room and I just love a window seat. I feel like if you have a window, a big window, a bay window, and there’s nothing there, you were put on this planet to add a window seat to that window, right? 

Emma: Yeah, you should. And at least once sit there and read a book, I know you’re probably gonna end up on the couch or in your bed. That’s what you know. It’s just like the romantic idea of where you wanna be sitting reading a book, which is in the window seat. 

Elsie: Take a picture of yourself reading there and then move to the couch where it’s more comfortable, that’s fine, we have proof of that. Okay, and then the other thing I’m obsessed with from this apartment is that the trim around the doors has these little daisies, like carved wood, daisies, appliques, it’s just like really, really good decorative trim. Okay, so I wanna use this in my life. How about the pink house it’s the one thing I don’t like about the pink house is that it has a farmhouse, like modern farmhouse trim. They modernized it too much and they also put barn doors. That’s the two things that I would really change. So I was trying to think of a way that I could use the inspiration of this daisy trim on those doors. Maybe I could somehow add it so I didn’t even have to remove it somehow, just like spruce it up to make it look more historic.

But anyway, I will put either a picture or a note or a link, in the show notes this week so you can see this daisy trim up close because it is a very important detail. And for me, woodwork and molding, it’s one of my renovation obsessions, I love it. Don’t skip over it, if you have to put new trim up already, put cool trim, put special trim. This is a very good example of something that’s a small difference, but way more special. 

Emma: Yeah. And generally, I would say her apartment feels a little bit like cottage vibes, but you also can very much tell that it’s a New York apartment and it’s supposed to be a New York apartment. And also her boyfriend at the beginning of the movie is a writer. He writes for the newspaper, I think the Washington poster, maybe the New York Times. I can’t remember which one they say in the movie, but he writes for a newspaper, so he’s a writer, so they’re both literary people. So I feel like it just has that vibe in their apartment, he has an old typewriter. There’s just the feeling of, this being a modern New York apartment, but the style isn’t modern, it’s more cottagey and cozy. 

Elsie: From my experience, going down a New York house shopping rabbit hole, that is true. There are lots of homes where there’s lots and lots of original molding, like the best original molding I’ve ever seen anywhere, there are so many, and that’s a very common feature. Maybe it’s because that part of the country was built earlier. I don’t know why it’s so much better there. 

Emma: I think it’s a combination of things being built earlier. You know, like if you have something that’s a hundred years old versus 20 years old, I feel like you’re more likely to keep the hundred-year-old thing just because. So that, and then I also wonder about some areas of the country, and I’m not a New York native, New York City native at all, never lived there. Don’t know. So it could be totally wrong, but my impression is it might be a little bit harder to renovate there. There are just not as many Home Depots and Lowe’s around like you’re in the Midwest, like anyone can walk in. It’s just a little bit easier to kind of change things. So I kind of wonder if maybe that’s part of it too, things get kept because it’s just more cumbersome to change out trim. So like why would you? 

Elsie: Also, it’s a bigger renting culture. So it’s not so much gutting and renovating. 

Emma: Yeah, that would be my guess. 

Elsie: Then one more thing from Kathleen’s apartment was her hung plate collection. So every Nancy Meyers or Nora Efron movie has a hung plate collection. So just a collection of beautiful antique plates all hung in a little collection on a wall. I know that it is verifiably a grandma thing, but I also think it’s definitely, you know the style they call grand millennial? It’s very attracted to it and I’m very into it.

Emma: Someday we will be grandma, millennials, hopefully.

Elsie: Okay, and then next let’s talk about Kathleen’s bookstore, the shop around the corner. So it’s definitely the perfect antique shop, everything is old. It’s like wood trim, wood counter, everything looks like it’s a hundred years old. And there were a bunch of different businesses throughout history in that space. But it is a children’s bookstore. Is it just a children’s bookstore or is it a bookstore for everyone? I guess I’m not clear on that. It might be both, but it has a big children’s section, that’s a big emphasis on what they show on camera.

Emma: Yes, because she has story time where she reads books to children and sometimes there’s like children in the neighborhood who seem to know her, the lady from the next door. So it definitely is heavy on kid stuff, but I can’t remember in the movie if they have adult books and things too. I feel like Yes, but I really can’t remember now.

Elsie: I think so too, I don’t know. The shop is very, very cute and my favorite detail from it is that there’s a scene where they’re hanging twinkle lights and she is talking about how she thinks there should always be twinkle lights and like it’s not just Christmas thing, everything just needs twinkle lights, which is how I feel. I completely agree. Just get the twinkle lights out any time of year, any day, any time I support it. Is there anything else about her, the shop around the corner that stuck out to you as cozy and cute? 

Emma: Maybe I’ll bring this up now, but it’s in a bunch of sets in the movie or spaces in the movie, there were so many checkered floors like there were tile checkered floors. The bookshop’s, one of ’em, Tom Hank’s character, his apartment had one of ’em, and there was at least one more, and I can’t remember now, maybe it was in the Fox Bookstore. But I loved it. I only have one little space in my house that has checkered floors in my laundry room. But I just love that look, it’s so classic. They had different ones, I feel like one was black and white, one was like two tones of brown, kind of an off-white and a darker brown, that might have been the bookstore. And I just kept seeing it in the movie and I was like, checkered floors. Checkered floors, checkered floors. 

Elsie: That is inspiring, how many times do you think you can have a checkered floor in one house, like three or four? Is that too many?

Emma: I mean, how big is your house?

Elsie: In a big house. In a big house? Yeah. 

Emma: Yeah. Definitely three or four. Is it beauty and the beast? Like you got a West Wing or like what’s happening? , 

Elsie: I dunno. No, a regular house. I’m talking about my house. My new house. 

Emma: Yeah. Your current house? Oh, your new house. Yeah, you could probably have three or four. I could have had more, I thought about putting it in the entryway too, but I don’t know. I really love just having one floor in most of the house. But in spaces that have water, like the laundry room in case the washer and dryer are over floors, it feels nice to have tile in there, and then we have tile in the bathrooms. But even my kitchen has wood floors. 

Elsie: I love wood floors in the kitchen. 

Emma: Yeah. Opposite of you, the boring version of you, that’s me. I’m like, keep it simple. 

Elsie: That’s not true at all. One of my favorite moments from the entire movie is when she’s doing story time and she’s wearing that fairy hat, like a fairytale hat. It’s just so cute, that’s the still from the movie that I think shows up most often on the internet and it’s everything. So yeah, like maybe we need to get hats like that so we can just like read to our kids and feel like we’re in a Nora Efron movie.

Emma: Honestly, if you wanted to become like we read books at the library, I would totally do it with you. It would be very fun. 

Elsie: Okay, yeah, no I would definitely love to do that, that’s fun. Where are any other cozy interiors you noticed? I know we just talked about the floors. I thought the little coffee shop where they had their meetup, where she had the roses on the table was very charming, and the grocery store. There was a grocery store too. 

Emma: The grocery store felt very New York, I loved it. It felt very big bodega feeling in there. Yeah, and I also feel like it’s an unassuming movie in that you can kind of feel like a lot of the spaces just feel brown, but when you really look, they’re actually really pretty. You would be wrong. It’s not just all brown, there’s a lot more to it. But I think if you were like squinting at this movie, that would be the vibe. We didn’t really talk about Tom Hanks’ character’s apartment. To me, that’s the one I would want out of the two. And I really wish there was a sequel to the movie where we see them cohabitate, I’m assuming they stay together. 

Elsie: So what features did you like about his apartment specifically? 

Emma: I just thought it felt modern but cool and it has that, I feel like people call this style masculine. I don’t really love the gendering decor, it doesn’t really make sense to me. But the idea is I think it has like black metal and kind of sharper edges and it tends to be a little bit more modern. And I just like modern style, not ultra-modern, but his felt like that. There was even some kind of fancy espresso machine, I feel like that’s like out on his countertop. It just felt like a very, I’m a business person, but this still has style, which I was interested in. I’m a business person, but I still have style. 

Elsie: The rich dad of a Nora Efron movie vibe. Yeah. I could see that being like your dream house, That makes sense.

Emma: Yeah, out of the two apartments, I loved hers too, but I was like, I would wanna live in his if I had to live in one of the two. Which is funny cause I think you’d live in hers and so then we could visit each other and it’d be great. 

Elsie: That’s true. Yeah. We would love to have our own separate romcom houses. Okay, this is on my notes and I don’t think it’s gonna come into play anywhere. But I have two funny things about Joe Fox. First of all, I think Joe Fox is a very fake-sounding movie name. Do you think that I just can’t get over the name Joe Fox. It’s trying so hard to be casual that it sounds completely made up to me.

Emma: Yeah, and for whatever reason, and there probably is someone in the world named Joe Fox, but they just sound separate from each other, which to me is always like a, oh, this is just a name in a book, you know, or whatever because they don’t feel they are a real person and they go together. I don’t know why though. It doesn’t really make sense. Maybe because they’re both so short, I don’t know. He does spend part of the movie, not saying his name or trying to omit it. I don’t think he’s really lying. He’s just kind of not saying he’s his name.

Elsie: He’s lying, he’s trying to not tell her who he is, for sure.

Emma: Yeah. He realizes she’s not gonna be happy with who he is because he realizes she owns the small bookstore and his bookstore is probably gonna put her outta business. So he kind of is like hiding his name a lot. So maybe that’s part of it is we are meant to not know his name for part of the movie or we know that it’s being hidden. 

Elsie: Okay, the other thing is, this is like my favorite moment of the movie quote or whatever, like a funny quote, and Jeremy and I have been saying it constantly as a joke, but I feel like this is very like quintessential 1990s in a way that it doesn’t exist anymore. But when they’re in the coffee shop together, he like puts up his finger and orders a mocha decaf non-fat, like that is his coffee order, it is so crazy and like random, and also it doesn’t make sense. It’s like you’re ordering a decaf non-fat frappuccino, it is insane. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s like, okay, you want a chocolate milkshake but no fat, that’s terrible. 

Elsie: Yeah, I feel like in the olden days, it was like the beginning of Starbucks culture when Starbucks and only grand millennials or grandma, millennials can remember this, but like when Starbucks was actually so cool. There was a moment where it was like, I’m going to Starbucks and in You’ve Got Mail has this because in one of the opening scenes, it shows New York City, and then it shows a Starbucks, it is when Starbucks was so cool, it was not common. It was pretentious or fancy. I think that people used to enjoy having the longest possible coffee orders.

Emma: Yeah. I think it was a status symbol in a way, and maybe this shows my age cuz I was early twenties and super broke. So the idea of ordering a $6 drink at Starbucks was like, oh no I cannot do that, I have no money for that. So when you heard someone kind of get some kind of grande or venti, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you’re like, wow, you must be a rich person. You have this signature drink thing that you’re into, which Joe Fox is obviously rich because of Young’s Barnes and Noble. 

Elsie: I love it. I love it, his character’s so great. Okay, so fashion, I think that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are the icons of the 1990s, especially in romcoms and their outfit outfits are very cozy. She’s wearing a cardigan and a dress with a cardigan. There’s one where she has white tights and a skirt and it’s so cute. Sweaters, it feels very fall time. 

Emma: Yeah, also, Meg Ryan is gorgeous, but she also has that very nineties hair to me, where it has the very small highlights and then she does her middle part where it’s like back and forth, crisscross. The crisscross middle part, which is just so nineties, like very high school to me, which I actually graduated in 2004, so I guess middle school for me, whatever, you get it. 

Elsie: I did the crisscross part in the nineties though, I’m not ashamed to say it.

Emma: Everyone did it. If you weren’t doing it, it’s like you didn’t know. 

Elsie: It’s true, everyone wanted to have hair like that in the nineties. But yeah, as far as their style, I don’t know if there’s like anything they were wearing. I think I would wear maybe the thing with the tights. I just think it’s like a general vibe more than an actual outfit to replicate.

Emma: I also think this is an era where Tom Hanks’, Joe Fox, suits are not quite as fitted. Things are more baggy, which has actually come back around. I feel like we’re seeing a lot of that now In the last five years, it’s a lot more baggy clothes and bagger things, people aren’t doing the super tight fitted as much. But yeah, that’s definitely in this movie, which is funny because some years after this, I feel like all men’s suits were very tailored. It’s not that they were necessarily tight, but they were very like, they had a fit. 

Elsie: Oh, they got tight, they got very tight in some recent decades.

Emma: Yeah, but his felt baggy, not fitted, not tailored in that way yet. Even though clearly his character’s high-end, it’s not like these are cheap suits. You don’t have that impression. It’s just sort of a different era for fashion. 

Elsie: Yeah, it’s definitely a different era for fashion. Yeah. Okay, so we always do this. What aged well and what did not age well in the movie? I didn’t take any notes of anything that made me cringe. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I guess the technology is stunning, it’s shocking. How different the early internet was from what it is now. I actually wrote down a quote that someone said in the movie and said, I tried to have cyber sex, but I kept getting the busy signal like they are just so primitive. It’s so early internet and I think that everyone, I was gonna say You’ve Got Mail should be a movie that plays in schools as a way to teach people that it wasn’t that long ago, like to teach kids like our niece’s age, who’s 13. It wasn’t that long ago that people didn’t have internet or that it was brand new to them and this is how it looked. And this is how computers looked and like they didn’t have phones. Just all these things like that I think would be kind of fascinating for kids to see. 

Emma: Yeah, and I mean, the idea of meeting someone in a chat room and then becoming kind of internet pen pals to me sounds kind of like, Ooh, I don’t know about that.

Elsie: It doesn’t sound cute anymore. 

Emma: Yeah, it doesn’t sound cute anymore but meeting someone through a dating app sounds really normal to me. This is like the version that they had of that basically. But anyway, yeah, so there’s that. I’ve always felt a little weird about, I don’t know if this is an aging thing, like did it age well, but at least watching this when I was younger and now, I don’t love that they’re kind of both in relationships and then they’re sort of flirting with somebody else online. But I also think they kind of address it throughout the movie in different ways. I know they really do, like when Meg Ryan’s character has her breakup, which I actually really like that scene. I feel like it’s a very adult breakup where both people are very respectful and it kind of showcases that breakups sometimes happen just because this just has run its course and that’s okay. And we can still respectfully part and be honest with each other about it. And I actually think it’s a good breakup scene. Yeah, I’ve always felt a little weird about that, but I get it relationships are messy and I do think they kind of address it in places. But yeah, I don’t know, it’s kind of weird. 

Elsie: Yeah, I would agree with that. But I honestly didn’t give it much thought when I was watching it. 

Emma: You were just like, show me more interiors. 

Elsie: I guess for me, I wanted to see her at the end, I think she’s starting to write a book maybe, it’s like she’s starting to get a new dream because her store does end up closing and he does end up winning and it’s like Barnes and Noble, whatever. I think it’s funny how much the reputation of Barnes and Noble has changed as well because now I think it’s like an endangered species to be protected and in the nineties, it was like a monster to be stopped and now there’s a different monster now. Anyway, I thought about her character, I would’ve loved for her to either win or find a solution, find a pivot or like some kind of solution for it, or find a new dream that was bigger and better. That she expressed she was very passionate about it. They kind of alluded to it, but it didn’t quite, so that’s probably the thing I would change for her. It could have been a good part too, though. 

Emma: Yeah, I do think the sequel to this would be really interesting and fun. Yeah, but I also, know it’s a remake and there isn’t another, so it’s like, okay, that’s cool too.

Elsie: There’s not gonna be a remake.

Emma: Yeah, there’s not gonna be a sequel unless other than fan fiction. 

Elsie: I cried at the end. Did you cry a little? Did you get a little tear? 

Emma: No, but I do like their love story. I do like the idea that they’ve gotten to know one another through letters, and she mentions that Pride and Prejudice is her favorite book, and it kind of vibes that way in that she misunderstands him and they somewhat misunderstand each other. Like, Mr. Darcy, you don’t know why he’s doing some of the things he’s doing. When she meets him at the coffee shop and he has his ridiculous mochaccino order, she thinks he’s just teasing her and antagonizing her and she doesn’t recognize that he is the person she was waiting for, he’s the person on the computer. So, that’s really fun and I think they did a nice job with that and it’s enjoyable. 

Elsie: No, I mean it’s cute like you want them to be together, they have to be, there’s no other ending for this movie. So we’re gonna go into trivia time now. So this is all, actually, I don’t know where I grabbed this from, probably I M D B or something. Yeah, I like love trivia about actors, movies, movie sets, like where was films, like all types of stuff, so we’re just gonna geek out for a bit. The casting of Dave Chappelle as Kevin Joe’s friend and confidant came about because four years previously, Chappelle was offered the role of Bubba in Forrest Gump, which is in 1994, hank’s big blockbuster movie, which came as a worldwide phenomenon. Chappelle turned down the role of Bubba because he felt Forrest Gump would flop at the box office, which gave me the biggest miniature tear for him. That’s a sad one. I’m sure Dave Chappelle is doing just fine, but you have to live with that. That’s probably the funny thing about being an actor you have to judge each script by just your own impression and what you’ve seen before it, and you just never know, right? 

Emma: Yeah. Well, and there could be a great script and then like the director just takes a weird turn or vice versa, and the script’s kind of weak, you never know. And Forest Gump is a weird movie, so I could kind of see reading the script and being like, I don’t know if I wanna play this role. This seems like a really strange movie, I’m not sure because quite the movie.

Elsie: Yeah, no, no. I think it’s somewhat not acceptable by today’s standards, but at the time it was Blockbuster. Okay, let’s go to the next one. 

Emma: All right, the children’s bookstore scenes were filmed at Maya Shaper’s cheese and Antique Shop. I’m not sure if I’m saying that correctly, but there it is and it’s at 106 West 69th Street. The filmmakers wanted to use the antique shop because it had a quaint, homey feel that they were going, and they were right, and they sent the owner of the antique shop on vacation for a few weeks, and while she was gone, they turned it into a children’s bookshop. After the filming was finished, they put everything back the way that it was. I wonder if the stores smelled like cheese the whole time they were filming. I’m like, cheese and antique shop. 

Elsie: Okay. First of all, I don’t know if this is still a New York City establishment, but if it knows is I would love to go to a cheese and antique shop. There is this one place in Nashville that it’s like a gift store, and they have this little cheese fridge it’s like champagne and cheese and I love it every single time. It’s like kind of like you can get a little charcuterie to go, it’s so sweet. Anyway, I think that they definitely found the perfect location. So whoever did the scouting, I think they should make miniature, Oscars for whatever awards I think people should get. 

Emma: I think there are more awards than we see on the show. I think that they have another for more technical areas. So maybe there is one for finding the perfect spot.

Elsie: Yeah, like scouting locations I think is an art and it’s very appealing to me. I would love to be if anyone’s scouting a location for a Nora Efron esque movie, and you need to hire an inexperienced, highly-paid, blogger. Okay, Nora Efron arranged for Meg Ryan and Heather Burns to work in real New York City bookstores in preparation for their roles before filming. The store was Books of Wonder in Manhattan and the jobs lasted for about a week. I think that would be helpful actually. I always say that I wanna write a novel someday. So I always say that one of my lapses in judgment is that I’ve never worked in a restaurant and it’s such a big part of stories. I think that having experiences like that would be, that make so much sense. I think working in a bookstore for a week also would just be fun.

Emma: Yeah, I think so too. 

Elsie: I bet they were so excited to have Meg Ryan in their bookstore. 

Emma: I wonder if they put her in the back or something because I feel like she would probably not get much done if she was on the floor, everyone would be like, excuse me, are you, Meg Ryan? But yeah. And I also think I’m not an actor, but I would feel like I would wanna know, even something simple like that, like how do you read stock books? I wanna learn that from someone who’s done it. If I was gonna do a scene where I was a librarian, I’d wanna go work with a librarian so I understand like how are you doing this? And what’s the most efficient way? Because someone’s gonna see this, who is a librarian, and I want them to feel like they’re seen, I got it I know what you’re doing. I know the little tricks because there are always little things that someone in an industry knows that, other people probably don’t know because why would you? 

Elsie: Yes, I think that’s a great idea. And knowing like what you do between, you know, when you’re not checking someone out and you’re not putting books on a shelf, what other things are you like walking around doing? 

Emma: The next one is pretty funny. I think the location of Fox Books in the movie is the location of Real life, Barnes and Noble. It’s at Broadway and 83rd Street on the upper West side. You can really tell, yeah, that Barnes and Noble generated considerable neighborhood opposition when it opened in the early 1990s. So very true to the film.

Elsie: Yeah, I feel like in our lifetime we have seen such a shift in people’s perception because I remember when Barnes and Noble were considered like almost boycottable because of small bookstores and all of that. But it’s just so different now. I’m just happy that it exists, I’m happy I can take my kids there. I also am glad that like 30 years in the future we still have small bookstores as well, in our towns. So it’s like we’re all still coexisting, no one was, fully extinct, which is good. 

Emma: Yeah, over the weekend, just funny enough, I literally went to our Barnes and Noble and one of our local bookstores here in Springfield. I took my son, Trey, and I went with Oscar to Barnes and Noble, and he picked out some books then the next day while Oscar’s napping, Trey stayed home and I went to the local bookstore, Pation Bookstore, the one I took you to. I got some things for myself, it’s a little me time. 

Elsie: I can’t wait to go to that bookstore all the time. I actually think, though, here’s my production. Actually, this is obvious, but I think that eventually Barnes and Noble won’t exist anymore, but local bookstores will still always be around. I think that local bookstores, there will always be a place for that, right? Hopefully Barnes and Noble will last as long as it can too. 

Emma: Yeah, I literally went to both this weekend, so it’s working for me. 

Elsie: Yeah, my kids love it, they call it the bookstore with a stage, they like the stage, I get it. It just has way more character books than the local bookstore which is what they want.

Emma: Yeah. Oscar got, what did he get? He got a book that’s shaped like a car and it has wheels on it. He loves cars and then has a different car throughout the book. And then we also got Lama Lama Red pajamas because he didn’t own that one yet. 

Elsie: Oh, the Lama Lama series and the phase of parenting are some of the top, best memories of my whole life. Whenever you’re ready, I have all the Yodo card too. Okay, so Meg Ryan got her very first computer during the filming of this movie, that has got to be my favorite fact. And yeah, it really was, this was the time. What year did it say this movie came out? 1998, so they were filming it probably in like 1997 or six. And people were still getting home computers. We have to watch this with Penny, let’s try to do that. Watch it with Penny and Bella someday and just see their reactions because we were in high school or I was in high school when this movie came out. To me, it’s an old movie, but it was not really old.

Emma: It’s pretty old. We’re old man. 

Elsie: No, yeah, it’s old, but I mean, I wasn’t a little kid when it came out. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It’s so interesting, I like the technology time capsule element of it is unmatched.

Emma: Okay, next trivia is one of Nora Efron’s signature filmmaking quirks was her use of songs to accentuate plot points. So one of the chief elements that led her films to be termed chick flicks. When Meg Ryan and Tom Hank’s characters finally meet in person both knowing that they’ve been emailing each other, the song over the rainbow plays on the film soundtrack and the duo shared a scene with the same song in Sleepless in Seattle.

Elsie: That’s cute. I haven’t watched Sleepless in Seattle in recent history, so maybe we’ll have to do that one over time, that’s really sweet. I think that they’re like a good movie couple for sure. Okay, the next one is Kathleen’s Bookstore is the shop around the corner an homage to a movie? The movie was based on 1940. I actually read about that a couple of times. So that’s cute, right? It’s named after a movie.

Emma: Yeah. I’ve never seen the original of You’ve Got Mail, I haven’t seen. This is the remake and I have never seen the original one.

Elsie: They’re saying the movie was called The Shopper on the Corner, not You’ve Got Mail.

Emma: Yeah, so isn’t You’ve Got Mail a remake of another movie I think it’s called Shop Around the Corner and the technology’s different. The other one is letter writing but this one is like the internet, very different technology, but it’s like the same movie.

Elsie: Oh, okay, nevermind. I just learned something new. That’s awesome. Then we should watch that, that’s cool. I thought it was just the name, that’s so interesting. I don’t watch a lot of movies before the fifties and I would like to, I would want to, and even like movies from like the 20s, 30s, and forties, it’s pretty rare to find them streaming and also to find them being recommended or know what they’re about. They don’t have trailers so you can’t check them mountain that way. So yeah, if anyone has sort of a primer for old movies before 1950, where it’s like top three, something like that, that’s manageable. I would love to hear it because I think that’s something I’d like to get into, but I have not watched hardly any, mostly just horror.

Emma: Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like you must have seen some old horror. I know you guys have seen the seventies, but there’s gotta be some old ones, you know, Hitchcock-era stuff. Should we give this a rating? 

Elsie: So the rating is from zero to five bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils. I just think there’s no way it’s getting a five. Actually, I wanna give you mine. I want mine to be, mine is five Mochaccinos decaf, non-fat. Yeah, I loved it. I think I’ve watched it actually twice in the last two years, which I think is a little too much, but once every three to four years I think is a good amount. If you haven’t watched it in five years, watch it like immediately. It’s completely wonderful and iconic and I don’t know, I feel like it’s a fall movie and a spring movie too, so that’s hard to say cuz it has both.

Emma: Yeah, it has all seasons, and Yeah. And maybe we mentioned this in one of the other rewatch episodes, I can’t remember, but I feel like they’re not making as many romcoms that are big as in theaters. I think they’re more like Netflix has its own, or HBO Max has its own which is still cool and I still like watching those, but I feel like there are not as many romcoms were like everybody revisits those. I think it’s really fun to see what was the thing that was in the movie theaters and everybody went with their mom. 

Elsie: Do you think there was a Romcom era?

Emma: Yeah. I feel like now it’s like, things that are in movie theaters tend to be more, it feels like action and like family-friendly things. Which is cool, I like both of those. But I feel like I don’t see as many romcoms that are like everybody saw in the theaters, not that everyone even goes to the theaters anymore. I kind of missed that era, I like revisiting all those. 

Elsie: Yeah, we’ll keep doing romcoms, we will dig for the gold because there are so many and I feel like we’ll probably do comfort re-watches for at least a couple of years because there are so many movies on our list. We’re not gonna get to them quickly.

Emma: Oh yeah, people email us new ones every week. 

Elsie: So it’s true, I love those emails. Okay, it’s time for everyone’s favorite part of our show, A joker, a fact with Nova, and I think this week we have a joke.

Nova: This week the joke is, what is Santa when he stops? 

Elsie: What is he? 

Nova: Santa Pause. Get it, he pauses for a second. 

Elsie: That’s really good, I like that one. You wanna say bye. 

Nova: See you soon and have a great day. 

Elsie: If you have a comfort re-watch request, we would love to hear it. Our whole list is just a request. So email us anytime at podcast@ beautiful mess.com. And yeah, we’ll be back next week with our spring bucket list episode.

Happy weekend! I hope you are doing something that makes you happy this weekend. I am eating pizza with my grandma today, and that makes me very happy. Here are 10 things I’ve been loving lately.

1. My friend Holly recently introduced me to Skin Owl and I immediately got a sample pack of oils and creams to try. Keep me away from the skincare aisle, I am obsessed. Lol.

2. I finished The Hating Game and really enjoyed it. It was the perfect vacation read for me, as I read most of it on the plane and it was the perfect distraction from mild travel anxiety—which I pretty much always have on planes.

I haven’t watched the movie yet, but you know I will.

3. I have my eye on this jacket … especially now that it’s on sale.

4. I recently made a big batch of Homemade Play Dough for our Childhood Magic site and my son is obsessed. He loves mixing the colors together, lol.

5. I am looking for any excuse to buy myself this version of Clue; it looks so cute and I am OBSESSED with this show.

6. The Best Floral Wallpaper Designs. This guide is fun to look at even if you’re “window shopping.”

7. I am debating buying these jelly shoes for spring (they come in a bunch of colors). On one hand, I grew up in the ’90s and early 2000s, so these feel so nostalgic to me.

But, on the other hand, I remember having sweaty feet in them on very hot days and that gives me pause. Did anyone else wear jelly shoes growing up? Am I the only psycho who has sweaty feet?

8. I do not need more earrings, but these gold earrings are currently saved in my Amazon cart. I feel like I would wear them all the time.

9. I love this handmade wreath for spring.

10. Currently burning Best Smell Ever in my kitchen and it just feels perfect for every season.

P.S. Here are a some recent posts in case you missed them!

• I mentioned the play dough project, but I also made Butter Slime and Oscar is pretty obsessed with that, too. He likes rolling it into balls and snakes.
• You need to try Elsie’s Homemade Old Fashioned Mix if you haven’t yet. So good!
• And if you need a light and refreshing soup recipe, try this Best Pea Soup.
• Here’s last week’s 10 Things Sunday.

The Mexican Mule is the tequila-based variation of the classic Moscow Mule. If you love tequila drinks, this is a great recipe to add to your list. This drink is easy to make, flavorful and bubbly.

Related: Our favorite tequila drinks: Watermelon Margarita, Cucumber Margarita, Peach Margarita, Toasted Coconut Margarita, Strawberry Margarita Jello Shot, Homemade Margarita Mix.

Tequila Mule Ingredients:

• Tequila
• Ginger Beer
• Lime
• Orange
• Mint Leaves

How to Make a Mexican Mule:

The best way to serve a Mexican Mule is in a copper mug. Fill your mug with ice. Squeeze the juice of half a lime over the ice. Add two ounces of tequila. Top it off with ginger beer. Garnish with an orange slice and mint leaves.

Why is a Mule Served in a Copper Mug?

When an iced drink is served in a copper mug, it becomes icy and chilled. Drinking from a chilled copper mug is a joyful sensory experience and it adds to the experience of the cocktail.

It’s important to note that the mug must be 100% copper to turn ice cold. These mugs are fun to collect and come in different variations. They also make a great gift idea.

Serving Ideas – Mexican Mules Go Great With:

• Cilantro and Cojita Queso Dip
• Creamy Black Bean Dip
• Easy Taco Soup
• Mini Fish Tacos

Mexican Mule Variations:

• Moscow Mule
• Moscow Mule Jello Shots (!!)
• Kentucky Mule
• Gin Mule

FAQ

Print

Mexican Mule Cocktail

A tequila-based mule recipe using ginger beer, tequila and lime juice.

Course Drinks

Cuisine Mexican

Keyword mexican mule, tequila, tequila mule

Servings 1

Calories 231kcal

Author Elsie Larson

Ingredients

• 2 ounces Tequila
• 1 cup Ginger Beer or fill to top
• ½ Lime
• 1 slice Orange
• 5 Mint Leaves

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• The best way to serve a Mexican Mule is in a copper mug. Fill your mug with ice.
• Squeeze the juice of half a lime over the ice.
• Add two ounces of tequila. 
• Top it off with ginger beer.
• Garnish with an orange slice and mint leaves.

Notes

Drinking from a chilled copper mug is a joyful sensory experience and it adds to the experience of the cocktail. It’s important to note that the mug must be 100% copper to turn ice cold.

If you like a sweeter cocktail, feel free to add up to one ounce of simple syrup or agave for added sweetness. 

Nutrition

Calories: 231kcal | Carbohydrates: 27g | Protein: 1g | Fat: 0.1g | Saturated Fat: 0.02g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 0.01g | Sodium: 19mg | Potassium: 91mg | Fiber: 2g | Sugar: 23g | Vitamin A: 261IU | Vitamin C: 19mg | Calcium: 36mg | Iron: 1mg

I love a hot mug of tea for an afternoon pick me up and to warm up during winter. Recently, I realized that I had a spot in my office that is perfect for a tea station.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. As a person who works from home, I love my tea station. I had so much fun choosing my own perfect tea collection and organizing everything.

In this post, I will share the exact organization items I used and lots of ideas for creating your own drink station at home.

Organization Ideas: 20+ Ways To Keep Your Home Organized, How I Organized My Fridge In One Afternoon, 10 Organizing Tricks I Learned from The Home Edit.

Tea Bag Organizer:

My favorite storage option for tea bags are these bamboo tea organizers. They come in a variety of sizes so you can find the perfect match for your drawer. I used two tea bag organizers and a set of bamboo drawer organizers to fill in the empty space.

Tea, Coffee, and Sugar Canisters:

Here are a few smart ideas for storing tea, coffee, and sugar in your drink station or home office.

• K-Cup Drawer Organizer
• Countertop Tea Organizer
• Sugar Canister
• Coffee Canister
• Loose Leaf Tea Canister
• Acrylic Tea Organizer
• Bamboo Tea Organizer
• Decorative Glass Jars

Home Beverage Station Ideas:

In my home office, I keep a variety of hot teas, some canned and bottled beverages in a drink fridge, and frozen coffee in my freezer.

Key items for a tea station:

• Tea bags or loose leaf tea
• Hot water kettle
• Mugs to serve tea
• Sugar

Key items for a coffee station:

• Coffee maker
• Coffee grinder
• Quality coffee
• Cups and glasses for hot and iced coffee
• Cream and sugar

Here’s a full tour of my home office.

Elsie’s Favorite Tea:

My favorite teas in no particular order:

• Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice
• Tazo Glazed Lemon Loaf Tea
• Yogi Egyptian Licorice Tea

I’d love to hear your favorite teas as well! xx. Elsie

The Kentucky Mule is a bourbon-based variation of the classic Moscow Mule. It’s the perfect cocktail for those of us who prefer bourbon whiskey over vodka.

This variation is more flavorful than the original, combining sweet, smoky and spicy flavors. This cocktail using ginger beer and bourbon is bright and bubbly. It is easy to drink while still tasting distinctly boozy.

Related: Gin Mule Cocktail and Mexican Mule Cocktail.

Ingredients in a Kentucky Mule:

• Ginger Beer
• Bourbon
• Lime
• Mint

How to Make a Kentucky Mule Cocktail

The best way to serve a Kentucky Mule is in a copper mug. Fill your mug with ice. Squeeze the juice of half a lime over the ice. Add two ounces of bourbon. Top it off with ginger beer. Garnish with lime and mint leaves.

What is the best bourbon for a Kentucky Mule?

• This drink is well balanced with the flavor of the ginger beer. It is not important to use an expensive bourbon. We recommend choosing a mid-priced option.
• Some easy to find brands we enjoy are Bulleit, Maker’s Mark, and Basil Hayden’s.
• Look for locally made bourbons and bourbons made in Kentucky.

What is the best ginger beer for a Kentucky Mule?

We did a blind taste test of many brands of ginger beer. Most taste similar and are very sweet and more zesty or spicy than regular ginger ale.

The brand that stood out to us as the most delicious was Fever-Tree with the most effervescent and unique flavor. Beyond that, I would recommend picking up what is available since most brands in this category are similar and very good.

Why is a Mule served in a copper mug?

When an iced drink is served in a copper mug, the mug becomes icy and chilled. Drinking from a chilled copper mug is a joyful sensory experience and it adds to the experience of the cocktail.

It’s important to note that the mug must be 100% copper to turn ice cold. These mugs are fun to collect and come in different variations. They also make a great gift idea.

Serving Suggestions – Kentucky Mule Goes Great With:

The ideal place to enjoy a Kentucky Mule is a hot tub, an outdoor meal, or at a campfire. It’s an easy drink to create quickly to serve at parties. Here are a few other recipes it goes great with!

• Homemade French Onion Dip
• Veggie Burgers
• Simple Cucumber Salad
• Jello Shots (Ultimate Recipe Guide)

Other Bourbon Cocktails to Try:

• Classic Manhattan
• Classic Hot Toddy
• Whiskey Lemonade
• Whiskey Ginger

FAQ

Print

Kentucky Mule Cocktail

Recipe to mix a Kentucky Mule cocktail, a bourbon-based spin on the classic Moscow Mule.

Course Drinks

Cuisine American

Keyword ginger beer, moscow mule, whiskey

Prep Time 5 minutes

Servings 1

Calories 235kcal

Author Elsie Larson

Ingredients

• 2 ounces bourbon
• 1 slice lime
• 5 mint leaves
• 1 cup ginger beer

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• The best way to serve a Kentucky Mule is in a copper mug. Fill your mug with ice.
• Squeeze the juice of half a lime over the ice.
• Add two ounces of bourbon.
• Top it off with ginger beer. 
• Garnish with lime and mint leaves.

Notes

• This drink is well balanced with the flavor of the ginger beer. It is not important to use an expensive bourbon. We recommend choosing a mid-priced option.
• Some easy to find brands we enjoy are Bulleit, Maker’s Mark and Basil Hayden’s.
• Look for locally made bourbons and bourbons made in Kentucky.

Nutrition

Calories: 235kcal | Carbohydrates: 28g | Protein: 1g | Fat: 0.2g | Saturated Fat: 0.02g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 0.01g | Sodium: 20mg | Potassium: 100mg | Fiber: 2g | Sugar: 22g | Vitamin A: 246IU | Vitamin C: 21mg | Calcium: 41mg | Iron: 1mg

I am fully wallpaper obsessed. Over the years, I have ordered countless samples for my home and other projects we’ve worked on.

Today, I’m here to share the best floral wallpaper designs with you! I will also answer the most common questions about wallpaper at the bottom of this post.

Related: 5 Creative Ways to Use Peel and Stick Wallpaper

I am combining peel and stick and traditional wallpaper into my list, so please keep that in mind if you are leaning toward one option more than the other.

Is Peel and Stick More Expensive?

Traditional wallpaper seems to be less expensive, while many people think peel and stick is less intimidating to install (saving money on installation).

Wallpaper installation for a small wall to a large room is typically between $500 to $2,000 (in my experiences).

Wallpaper I’ve Used in My Home:

Below, I’m sharing some photos of floral wallpaper that I’ve used in my homes. These designs are also included in my list, but I wanted you to see what they look like in different rooms.

Wallpaper: Green Blackthorn
Room Tour: How We Built a Hidden Room

Wallpaper: Vintage Floral
Room Tour: Nova’s Retro Floral Bedroom

Wallpaper: Sonoma White
Room Tour: Elsie’s Office

Wallpaper: Arbutus
Room Tour: Entryway and Wallpapered Ceiling

My Favorite Floral Wallpaper Designs:

Wayfair

Wildwood Wallpaper

This traditional floral wallpaper has a pretty wildflower design inspired by antique botanical drawings. It’s screen printed with metallic gold ink details (so pretty!) and available in 5 colors.

A reviewer said “This wallpaper is HIGH QUALITY. It’s nice and thick, and the colors and patterns are gorgeous.”

Spoonflower

Vintage Floral Wallpaper

This dreamy floral wallpaper was in my daughters bedroom in our previous home. We used the eco-friendly prepasted removable option and it was so easy to work with. This design also has matching linens.

Anthropologie

Rose Wallpaper

If you’re looking for a muted floral design, this smoke grey rose wallpaper is a gorgeous option. This traditional wallpaper design was inspired by the romance and grandeur of London, and it’s available in 3 colors (including pink!).

Anthropologie

Blackthorn Wallpaper

I chose this green floral wallpaper for the room that leads into our hidden library. I love the pattern—it truly is a statement piece. This wallpaper is also available in a brighter color scheme.

A reviewer said “A stunning design and the pattern match up is seamless!“

Chasing Paper

Botany Wallpaper

Botany is an artist-designed wallpaper with a modern take on florals. Installation is a breeze, and all versions of this wallpaper (peel and stick, traditional, and faux grasscloth) are non-toxic and made in the USA. It’s available in 3 colors.

Anthropologie

Alpine Botanical Wallpaper

This best-selling wallpaper has delicate, vintage-inspired floral design with a paste-free application (and easy removal). It would be so cute in a nursery or kids room.

A reviewer said “I absolutely LOVE this wallpaper. It was easy to put on and our room came out beautiful.”

Etsy

Orange Leaves Wallpaper

I have found so many amazing wallpaper designs on Etsy. This peel and stick wallpaper reminds me of my stamped kitchen wall from years ago. I love it! And, this design has over 4,000 positive reviews.

A reviewer said “It looks like it was painted on my wall—so gorgeous!”

Rifle Paper Co.

Bramble Garden Wallpaper

This Rifle Paper Co. peel and stick wallpaper has a cheery floral pattern with sage and metallic accents. Available in 5 colors, it can be easily removed— making it perfect for renters.

Wayfair

Tulip Wallpaper

I think this tulip wallpaper would be perfect for an accent wall or bathroom. It’s made from smooth, non-woven paper and has a semi-gloss finish. If you prefer more color in your space, it’s also available in blue.

A reviewer said “I wanted something whimsical and classic for our 1928 historic home. It adds the perfect touch to our powder bath.”

Anthropologie

Hollyhocks Wallpaper

I love how bold and colorful this floral wallpaper is. It would make a stunning backdrop for any space. It truly looks like a painting!

A reviewer said “I decided to invest in something bold and vibrant, and it was worth it. The paper is beautiful.”

Lulu & Georgia

Arubutus Wallpaper

I wallpapered my entryway ceiling with this pattern from Lulu & Georgia. Originally designed in 1884, this wallpaper was designed for a daughter’s workroom in London. It’s three dimensional character and intricate layers are really amazing—especially in person.

Hygge & West

Sonoma Wallpaper

Here is my office wallpaper. I loved this floral design so much that I used it on the walls and the ceiling. It feels very warm and nostalgic. This pre-pasted wallpaper is available in 4 colors.

Wayfair

Hydrangea Wallpaper

I am obsessed with hydrangeas, so this wallpaper is a big “yes” for me. I’m partial to the jade green, but this design is available in 7 colors (with gold foil) making it versatile for any space.

A reviewer said “It’s beautiful! The gold foil looks even better in person. A great little detail that upgrades a room.”

Hygge & West

Alpine Garden Wallpaper

Alpine garden is a traditional wallpaper inspired by the beauty of springtime flowers. The design is collaboration with one of my favorite brands, Schoolhouse. This wallpaper is also available in a darker color.

A reviewer said “The paper is even more beautiful in person. It completely transformed my plain powder room.”

Target

Lollipop Floral Wallpaper

I love this budget-friendly wallpaper from the Opalhouse line at Target. It’s a DIY- friendly peel and stick wallpaper, and its steam and moisture resistant— making it perfect for a bathroom.

A reviewer said “I’ve used several different brands of peel and stick wallpaper and this was by far the easiest to work with.”

Wayfair

Tapestry Wallpaper

Tapestry is a delicate, detailed blend of flowers, bud, and leaves. It’s screen printed with metallic gold details, giving it a pretty glow. I am obsessed with these colors, but it’s also available in 4 darker shades.

A reviewer said “Absolutely stunning. It’s hard to find small print wallpaper and this is everything!”

Wildwood / Vintage Floral / Rose / Blackthorn / Alpine Botanical / Botany / Hollyhocks / Tulip / Arubutus / Sonoma / Orange Leaves / Bramble Garden / Alpine Garden / Lollipop Floral / Hydrangea / Tapestry

FAQ:

Looking for more home decor guides? Check out …

• The Cutest Sofas Under $1,000
• The Best Floor Length Mirrors (Splurge + Save)
• 25+ Round Coffee Tables You’ll Love For Your Home
• The Best Dressers (Splurge + Save)

I am fully wallpaper obsessed. Over the years, I have ordered countless samples for my home and other projects we’ve worked on.

Today, I’m here to share the best floral wallpaper designs with you! I will also answer the most common questions about wallpaper at the bottom of this post.

Related: 5 Creative Ways to Use Peel and Stick Wallpaper

I am combining peel and stick and traditional wallpaper into my list, so please keep that in mind if you are leaning toward one option more than the other.

Is Peel and Stick More Expensive?

Traditional wallpaper seems to be less expensive, while many people think peel and stick is less intimidating to install (saving money on installation).

Wallpaper installation for a small wall to a large room is typically between $500 to $2,000 (in my experiences).

Wallpaper I’ve Used in My Home:

Below, I’m sharing some photos of floral wallpaper that I’ve used in my homes. These designs are also included in my list, but I wanted you to see what they look like in different rooms.

Wallpaper: Green Blackthorn
Room Tour: How We Built a Hidden Room

Wallpaper: Vintage Floral
Room Tour: Nova’s Retro Floral Bedroom

Wallpaper: Sonoma White
Room Tour: Elsie’s Office

Wallpaper: Arbutus
Room Tour: Entryway and Wallpapered Ceiling

My Favorite Floral Wallpaper Designs:

Wayfair

Wildwood Wallpaper

This traditional floral wallpaper has a pretty wildflower design inspired by antique botanical drawings. It’s screen printed with metallic gold ink details (so pretty!) and available in 5 colors.

A reviewer said “This wallpaper is HIGH QUALITY. It’s nice and thick, and the colors and patterns are gorgeous.”

Spoonflower

Vintage Floral Wallpaper

This dreamy floral wallpaper was in my daughters bedroom in our previous home. We used the eco-friendly prepasted removable option and it was so easy to work with. This design also has matching linens.

Anthropologie

Rose Wallpaper

If you’re looking for a muted floral design, this smoke grey rose wallpaper is a gorgeous option. This traditional wallpaper design was inspired by the romance and grandeur of London, and it’s available in 3 colors (including pink!).

Anthropologie

Blackthorn Wallpaper

I chose this green floral wallpaper for the room that leads into our hidden library. I love the pattern—it truly is a statement piece. This wallpaper is also available in a brighter color scheme.

A reviewer said “A stunning design and the pattern match up is seamless!“

Chasing Paper

Botany Wallpaper

Botany is an artist-designed wallpaper with a modern take on florals. Installation is a breeze, and all versions of this wallpaper (peel and stick, traditional, and faux grasscloth) are non-toxic and made in the USA. It’s available in 3 colors.

Anthropologie

Alpine Botanical Wallpaper

This best-selling wallpaper has delicate, vintage-inspired floral design with a paste-free application (and easy removal). It would be so cute in a nursery or kids room.

A reviewer said “I absolutely LOVE this wallpaper. It was easy to put on and our room came out beautiful.”

Etsy

Orange Leaves Wallpaper

I have found so many amazing wallpaper designs on Etsy. This peel and stick wallpaper reminds me of my stamped kitchen wall from years ago. I love it! And, this design has over 4,000 positive reviews.

A reviewer said “It looks like it was painted on my wall—so gorgeous!”

Rifle Paper Co.

Bramble Garden Wallpaper

This Rifle Paper Co. peel and stick wallpaper has a cheery floral pattern with sage and metallic accents. Available in 5 colors, it can be easily removed— making it perfect for renters.

Wayfair

Tulip Wallpaper

I think this tulip wallpaper would be perfect for an accent wall or bathroom. It’s made from smooth, non-woven paper and has a semi-gloss finish. If you prefer more color in your space, it’s also available in blue.

A reviewer said “I wanted something whimsical and classic for our 1928 historic home. It adds the perfect touch to our powder bath.”

Anthropologie

Hollyhocks Wallpaper

I love how bold and colorful this floral wallpaper is. It would make a stunning backdrop for any space. It truly looks like a painting!

A reviewer said “I decided to invest in something bold and vibrant, and it was worth it. The paper is beautiful.”

Lulu & Georgia

Arubutus Wallpaper

I wallpapered my entryway ceiling with this pattern from Lulu & Georgia. Originally designed in 1884, this wallpaper was designed for a daughter’s workroom in London. It’s three dimensional character and intricate layers are really amazing—especially in person.

Hygge & West

Sonoma Wallpaper

Here is my office wallpaper. I loved this floral design so much that I used it on the walls and the ceiling. It feels very warm and nostalgic. This pre-pasted wallpaper is available in 4 colors.

Wayfair

Hydrangea Wallpaper

I am obsessed with hydrangeas, so this wallpaper is a big “yes” for me. I’m partial to the jade green, but this design is available in 7 colors (with gold foil) making it versatile for any space.

A reviewer said “It’s beautiful! The gold foil looks even better in person. A great little detail that upgrades a room.”

Hygge & West

Alpine Garden Wallpaper

Alpine garden is a traditional wallpaper inspired by the beauty of springtime flowers. The design is collaboration with one of my favorite brands, Schoolhouse. This wallpaper is also available in a darker color.

A reviewer said “The paper is even more beautiful in person. It completely transformed my plain powder room.”

Target

Lollipop Floral Wallpaper

I love this budget-friendly wallpaper from the Opalhouse line at Target. It’s a DIY- friendly peel and stick wallpaper, and its steam and moisture resistant— making it perfect for a bathroom.

A reviewer said “I’ve used several different brands of peel and stick wallpaper and this was by far the easiest to work with.”

Wayfair

Tapestry Wallpaper

Tapestry is a delicate, detailed blend of flowers, bud, and leaves. It’s screen printed with metallic gold details, giving it a pretty glow. I am obsessed with these colors, but it’s also available in 4 darker shades.

A reviewer said “Absolutely stunning. It’s hard to find small print wallpaper and this is everything!”

Wildwood / Vintage Floral / Rose / Blackthorn / Alpine Botanical / Botany / Hollyhocks / Tulip / Arubutus / Sonoma / Orange Leaves / Bramble Garden / Alpine Garden / Lollipop Floral / Hydrangea / Tapestry

FAQ:

Looking for more home decor guides? Check out …

• The Cutest Sofas Under $1,000
• The Best Floor Length Mirrors (Splurge + Save)
• 25+ Round Coffee Tables You’ll Love For Your Home
• The Best Dressers (Splurge + Save)

This delicious, creamy bacon pea salad recipe is the perfect picnic food. This time of year, I am so anxious for outdoor dinners and sunny weather.

This classic pea salad reminds me of something my grandmother would have served— in the best possible way. It’s a nostalgic recipe that begs to be served with watermelon and hot dogs.

More picnic recipes: Deviled Eggs, Broccoli Salad, Classic Potato Salad, Ambrosia Salad, Tuna Salad, Macaroni Salad, Pigs in a Blanket.

Ingredients in Bacon Pea Salad:

• Frozen Peas
• Mayonnaise
• Sour Cream
• White Vinegar
• Crispy Bacon
• Red Onion
• Cheddar Cheese
• Fresh Parsley
• Salt
• Pepper

How To Make Classic Pea Salad:

Combine the dressing ingredients (sour cream, mayonnaise, salt and pepper and vinegar) in a bowl and whisk to combine. Add the peas, bacon, cubed cheese, onion and parsley. Stir to combine, making sure all the salad is coated with dressing. Refrigerate 2 hours before serving.

Tips for Serving:

• This salad is good chilled and at room temperature.
• Chop the cheese and onion small for the best possible bites.
• Store in an airtight container for up to three days in the refrigerator.

Old Fashioned Pea Salad Pairs Well With:

• Easy Chicken Salad
• Best Mint Mojito Recipe
• Fried Green Tomato Salad
• Pina Colada Mix
• Simple Cucumber Salad
• Lemony Kale Salad
• Jello Shots – Ultimate Recipe Guide

FAQ

Print

Classic Pea Salad with Bacon

A classic mayonnaise based salad to serve at your next family lunch.

Course Salad

Cuisine American

Keyword pea salad

Prep Time 15 minutes

Cook Time 15 minutes

Servings 12

Calories 209kcal

Author Elsie Larson

Ingredients

• 4 cups Frozen Peas thawed
• ¼ cup Mayonnaise
• ½ cup Sour Cream
• 1 tablespoon White Vinegar
• 8 slices Bacon crispy
• ½ cup Red Onion chopped
• 6 ounces Cheddar Cheese chopped into small cubes
• 3 tablespoons Parsley fresh
• Salt to taste
• Pepper to taste

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• Prep for this salad by cooking eight pieces of crispy bacon, chopping onion, chopping cheddar cheese and thawing peas.
• Combine dressing ingredients (sour cream, mayonnaise, salt and pepper and vinegar) in a bowl, whisk to combine.
• Add peas, bacon, cubed cheese, onion and parsley. Stir to combine, making sure all the salad is coated with dressing.
• Refrigerate before serving.

Notes

• If your peas haven’t thawed completely before you assemble your salad, that is OK. Just make sure they are fully thawed before serving. 
• This salad is good chilled and at room temperature.
• Store in an airtight container for up to three days in the refrigerator.

Nutrition

Calories: 209kcal | Carbohydrates: 8g | Protein: 8g | Fat: 16g | Saturated Fat: 6g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 3g | Monounsaturated Fat: 5g | Trans Fat: 0.03g | Cholesterol: 31mg | Sodium: 225mg | Potassium: 176mg | Fiber: 3g | Sugar: 3g | Vitamin A: 664IU | Vitamin C: 21mg | Calcium: 125mg | Iron: 1mg

This week, we are doing a deep dive into a topic that we’ve referenced many times on this show—the book The 12 Week Year. So if you are in the mood to talk about goal setting, then this episode is for you!

Plus, we are going to talk about the High Five Test.

You can find the podcast posts archive here.

A big thank you to our sponsors! Check out the offers from Modern Fertility, Bubs Naturals, Jenni Kayne, and Caraway.

And, if you’re looking for a specific code you heard on the podcast, you can see a full list on this page!

Show Notes

Why a 12-week goal is better:

-Long deadlines can feel very daunting and lead to procrastination.

-You can break up your goals into seasons so you do more work on them when you have more time and less when you are busier.

The important parts of the 12-week year:

-Making your vision (make sure it’s clear and measurable).

-Develop your plan (break up your goal into a series of small goals).

-Accountability and keeping score

-Checking in

Check out high5test.com

Elsie’s top 5 strengths:

-Catalyst
-Optimist
-Philomath
-Thinker
-Timekeeper

Emma’s top 5 strengths:

-Philomath
-Timekeeper
-Focus Expert
-Deliverer
-Thinker

Miss an Episode? Get Caught Up!

• Episode #172: Preparing For a Big Move!
• Episode #171: Elsie’s Moving Home to Missouri
• Episode #170: Twilight – Comfort Rewatch

Episode 173 Transcript:

Emma: You’re listening to The Beautiful Mess Podcast, your cozy comfort listen. This week we’re doing another deep dive into a topic that we’ve referenced many times on this show. It is the book, the 12 Week Year. So if you’re in the mood to talk about goal setting, this episode is for you. And we’re also gonna talk a little bit about the High Five test, which we’re gonna talk about our results, Elsie’s results, my results, and how you can take the test if you’re interested. 

Elsie: I’ll explain the overall concept of the 12 Week Year. So the 12 week year is a goal setting method that goes by quarter. So 12 weeks is one quarter, right? 

Emma: Yeah, it’s three months. 

Elsie: Yeah. So 12 weeks is every three months. The thing I love about this is when you set your goals just for the new year, the beginning of each year. First of all, it can be like a procrastination thing where you don’t have a super solid January, that kind of happens to me every year. You’re like, I didn’t really achieve my goal in January, so I guess I’m just not going to have a perfect year this year.

Emma: So I guess I’ll just wait, give up for next January.

Elsie: Right. So when you do it every three months, you just have four times the fresh starts, four times more fresh starts than you do once a year, which I love. And the other thing is that most goals that you want to achieve in a year, you actually could achieve or make major headway in just three months. You don’t really need a year for most goals, and even if you do need a year, you can at least do one part of your goal then do the next part. Section them off in your next quarter? I think that the 12th week year was really, really helpful for me, it’s just a mindset shift. And I love New Year’s goals personally. I’m not one of those people who’s like, I’m not a resolution person. I’m definitely a resolution person. I will always take a chance to set a goal. . But I think that this is just more practical and it works better. And the other thing that they do a lot in the 12 week year is habit tracking. So there’s a lot of journaling and a lot of like tracking of your progress. And that’s something that works really good for my personality because I kind of a little bit of a perfectionist thing where if I don’t do something every day, then I feel like that I’ve already failed. And being able to see that doing something three to five times a week is in some ways better because it’s like possible instead of impossible, and it’s just as good as doing something every day. I think that having standards that you can never achieve is probably one of the biggest enemies of success that many of us have. Yeah, I found the book. If you haven’t read it, I would definitely recommend it, but you can probably also just listen to this episode and take like the main high points from it because it’s pretty simple.

Emma: Yeah, it’s pretty simple. And it’s not a long book too. So the 12 week year has like a website where you can also sign up for a newsletter and I’ve signed up for it years and years ago. It’s kind of one of those newsletters where they’ll send like tips and tricks here and there or kind of like check-ins, things like that. So anyway, I like it. If I don’t have time, I don’t read ’em. But if I have time and I do read them, I usually find them like helpful. So anyway, if you have any interest in that, just so you know that’s available, it’s free. Okay. So I was just gonna go ahead and go over a few things that are kind of like the case for a short deadline , because that’s pretty much it. Is the 12 week years like, Hey, let’s have shorter deadlines instead of this year long deadline. Yes, and I think so many of these you kind of already hit on with your synopsis of the 12 week year, and I think that’s kind of interesting. So I’ll go through these kind of quickly, but feel free to elaborate if you want to, but yeah. Okay, so long deadlines can really just lead to a lot of procrastination. If you know you have a whole year to do something and maybe you don’t really need a year to do it, then you’ll end up procrastinating. So you end up being like, oh, I’ll get to it, and then come October you’re like, oh crap, I better really work on this goal because I’m all the way through the year and you could have just done it quickly and then moved on to your next thing. Also, I think long deadlines can sometimes mean that our priorities or our life really changes, and I don’t know about you, but that’s where I get really hung up, is if I’ve made a goal and then my life really does change and it makes more sense for me to change that goal. Sometimes I get it in my head that I’m giving up or I failed, or I’m making an excuse to not finish my goal when the truth is this goal just doesn’t serve me anymore because I made it six months ago and my life was different six months ago. 

Elsie: I have this problem really bad, being able to accept putting a pause button on goals has been very valuable for me. Before that, I really had the mindset that if I wasn’t doing everything right now, like if someone says, how’s your pottery going? Right now, I haven’t made pottery for more than a month, I would feel like panicked in like a failure. But now, that I have my pause button in place and I know that like we’re showing our house absolutely constantly and that’s why I can’t get my pottery stuff out as much as I wanted to, I was leaving it out for months at a time. It’s just not my productive season for that right now and it will be again in the future. There’s a lot of good mind stuff, more mindset stuff in this book, especially for people who can be like very hard on yourself or like an all or nothing personality.

Emma: Yeah, I think that it’s a lot of mindset changes and really positive ones generally. Because, yeah, there’s just a lot of guilt that can come into goal setting and I really think that is not helpful, so finding ways to get rid of that is really good. Okay, so another thing, long deadlines can also feel really daunting. So if you really do make a goal that’s gonna take you a year to accomplish it, it’s probably a really big goal. Unless you break it down into small goals, you’re probably gonna feel overwhelmed, and that might even lead to you giving up. So along those lines, I think long deadlines, when they’re done successfully, they really just are a series of short deadlines. If you’re your goal is, like Elsie loves pottery, I’m trying to write a book. So if I’m like, my goal is to write a book, it’s like, okay, well step one is like outline, step two, chapter one, you know, however many chapters, it’s a series of small goals along the way. And so I think the 12 week year in some ways is just an acknowledgement that in order to accomplish something big in a year or five years or whatever, you’re at the deadline. You’re just gonna have a bunch of small goals along the way, and so you might as well just think of it as, okay, well what’s my 12 week plan here because I got three months to do X, Y, Z. So this kind of ties into all of it, but I like quarterly goals in part because I think, and I especially think this for our work, there’s just different parts of the year. Maybe it’s because I live somewhere with the four Seasons, maybe it’s because I have a kid, and so like school and daycare can be different at different times and there’s holidays. I don’t know. But for me, I feel like I can really go crazy for work in Q1 and Q2 and then Q3 and q4 there’s, there is a lot of work, but there’s a lot more like family time and holidays and things like that. And I like being able to kind of think of things in that way. So then I don’t feel bad in let’s say q4, I’m not working quite as much cuz I have a lot of holiday stuff going if I kind of knew that and I really busted my in Q1 and q2, now I’m like, oh, I’m on track. You know, my goals in Q4 are not as career, they’re more family cleaning the house, getting ready for guests, whatever, they’re more in that range. And I can have that 12 weeks be something that makes sense for my year as opposed to this year long goal that has to encompass all these different seasons, and it almost doesn’t make sence.

Elsie: I think that in Q4 for our business, we kind of do have to go into survival mode every year because it’s usually when we do almost all of our ads, so you don’t get to pick your content as much as you do this time of year. Yeah, I completely agree, which is like ads and family stuff.

Emma: Yeah. You’re like, what’s do and what’s going on with my family? That’s all I have time for. You know, it’s fun, but it’s a certain season and I think if you’re expecting to do a lot of deep work for the future, you’re just not gonna get to do it that quarter, I never do. So anyway, that’s what Q1’s for. So those are kind of my case for the short deadline, so hopefully we’ve swayed you. I feel like we probably did. 

Elsie: I think everyone is swayed, I definitely am, I would never go back. I think that it’s very compelling. There’s really nothing that’s better about long deadlines. No, there’s really nothing.

Emma: No. Yeah, it’s a good method. I agree. 

Elsie: Case’s closed. 

Emma: Case’s closed, so everybody’s on board, good. Okay, so then I just wanted to talk about, to me the important parts of the 12 week year, some things he hits on in the book and things that can help you be successful as you’re making your goals for the next 12 weeks. Okay, so the first one is making your vision. How do you decide what to work on? How do you decide what goals you want? Okay, so I think some things that help is now that you know that you have 12 weeks you can be a little more realistic about what you can get done in 12 weeks. So you’re not necessarily going to be making a goal that’s like, I’m going to read 80 books and go to the gym a hundred times or whatever.You just know that that’s not gonna happen in 12 weeks. So now you can focus a little more on what’s realistic to happen in those 12 weeks. And I would also say as you’re making your vision, your goals, I like to do them in a bunch of different areas. So I like to kind of have different buckets of like, here’s my personal life, which includes like hobbies and self care. And sometimes also like health and wellness stuff, like going to the gym or whatever. Then I think of family, which is mostly stuff with my son, but it’s other things too. And I kind of put friends in there too, so if a friend’s having a birthday or if a friend’s going through a hard time, I wanna make time to be there for them or do something, and I think about career. So what am I trying to accomplish these next 12 weeks at work. Is there something that we’re building? Is there some kind of big deadline? Is there something that I’ve been wanting to start and finish? Or at least start, you know, again, you only have 12 weeks. So what are we getting done in these 12 weeks, that kind of. So I like to have different buckets that’s how I think about it. But something that I think is really important when you’re making goals is to make sure that it’s clear and measurable. I think if you’re like, okay, at the end of these 12 weeks, let’s say you’re working on some mental health stuff, you’ve had a hard time and you’re trying to work on that. Not that that’s necessarily me, exactly and I’m just using myself here’s an example, let’s just say. So if you make the goal, I just wanna feel better in 12 weeks. It’s like, well, Good goal not exactly very clear. Not exactly very measurable yet. What do you really mean by that? And if it’s like, well, I wanna feel better, I wanna have less days where I’m feeling really down. I want to feel more hopeful. So try to define it a little bit more, and then think about what are some things that you could measure in that because measuring a feeling is really hard, that would be very difficult. But instead think about like, I want to make sure I go to therapy every month. Okay, so then you’re gonna go to therapy three times in the next 12 weeks, okay? That’s measurable. Great, you could do that. I want to spend more time with friends. I want to get some sunshine. I want to work on endorphin stuff. So maybe that’s, I’m gonna do some cardio, I’m gonna go to the gym. I’m gonna start running whatever thing that you think is gonna help. This is your goals, but make them measurable things that you can actually know if you achieved it or not, if you did it or not. Because when you get to the end of the 12 weeks, you’re gonna take stock. You’re gonna say, oh, did I make it? Did I get all the things done? And it’s not that you’re trying to make this big to-do list and just go through the motions. But if things aren’t clear and measurable, then it might be really hard to know if your like, if you get to the end of the 12 weeks and you’re like, I don’t feel better, then you’re gonna wanna know why. So is it that you did all the things and those didn’t help and now you’ve gotta try something else? Or is it that you didn’t do the things, you got sidetracked, you got distracted, maybe something happened where you couldn’t, something major changed in your life, that happens. But if it things aren’t clear and measurable, then it’s gonna be really hard to know why it worked or didn’t work. Okay, so that’s kind of about making your vision. Then the next is once you kind of have your vision, develop your plan. So break up your goal into a series of small goals, so things for each month or even each week. And I think when you’re thinking about 12 weeks, this is so much easier than when you’re thinking about a whole year because sometimes I’ll make a giant list that’s for the whole year. Elsie and I do this a lot for blog posts, we’re like, here’s a thousand blog posts I wanna write because we just get excited about ideas. So we always have way too many ideas and I love to make a big list like that. I think it’s really fun, it makes me feel excited. It makes me feel like the future’s full of possibilities. So I think that’s a good exercise for those reasons. But it comes to actually executing, so this week for example, I’m sick. So I had one day where I was basically off cuz I was just really sick and couldn’t really work. So then it’s like, okay, I’m gonna look at my list and I now have these thousands of ideas and only four days to work, what could I get done? Whereas instead, if you had these five things to do this week, is there one that you need to take off the list because you were sick. Then you just get to keep moving forward and it just makes it a lot faster and easier to follow if you know where you’re going and then you can make quicker adjustments as opposed to this giant, giant master plan and you get a slightly off course and now you’re super off course.

Elsie: Yeah, I agree. I think this is a little bit of a good time to mention my post-it method. Oh by the way, Podcast listeners try to diagnose me with h ADHD kind of a lot. I’m like, I know that I probably have ADHD so lI get it. Probably a lot of people have undiagnosed ADHD. So if you have any trouble with focusing, I think the big list, like my blog post list for the year of what I wanna do, it’s stapled together, it’s three pages of typed text it like it is not something that I need to look at every week. So for me to look at a small list of about five things, like small enough to fit on a post-it is what my brain can handle and then I can choose something to actually work on. So I think that if you’re a person who gets easily overwhelmed by a long list, just don’t look at the long list that often. Every few weeks you can go in and pick some things from it and keep yourself on a small list. I think it’s just a trick you can do on yourself that really works. 

Emma: Yes, I agree and I think too, it just makes it where everybody’s busy. We all have limitations in our life, no matter for what reason. And I think that for example, when I’m writing a book, once I have the outline, I immediately feel way less overwhelmed because if I have two and a half to three hours where I can work on this today, that’s all I have. I’m not gonna get to work on it more maybe this whole week,but then I look at my outline and I’m like, oh, chapter four I feel like I really have a handle on that. I’m gonna write that right now, and I do it and then it’s done. And it’s like that is something that now just moved my whole project forward in a meaningful way. Did I finish the whole book? No, but did I write a chapter? Yes I did in the time that I have. And so, and that’s, , you know, sort of it is like trying to break down these big things that we wanna do in life into smaller bite size things so that we can actually get them done. Because life is full of lots of other things that are never gonna be on our list, but we still have to do them, and that’s just what life’s like and it’s okay. Okay, so develop your plan and that will help, break down your goal into very small goals. They can be weekly, monthly, they can even be daily. I would say too, don’t feel like they have to be so rigid because I think if you do have a very, like every single day this must happen. That doesn’t leave you much space for getting sick, or if your kid gets sick or you have a snow day or the internet goes out at your house and you can’t work on the thing you were gonna work on. You have to leave some margin to let life happen, or you’re really gonna stress yourself out, so do that too. 

Elsie: Yeah, focus on the big wins for sure. As long as I can get this part of my list done, then the rest of it is optional. I think is a good way to think of it. 

Emma: Okay, and then the next thing I wanna talk about I think varies so much from person to person. So it is accountability and keeping score. So this is something he talks about in the book and there’s lots of different ways to do it. And I also think it really depends on you and what works for you. So the whole point is to have mechanisms in place to help keep yourself on track. Some people are very internally motivated or externally motivated, or maybe they call it intrinsically motivated, I’m not sure. But I’m a person where I don’t really need a lot of outside accountability. I’m very much like on the inside, if I’ve decided I wanna do something that’s it for me, that’s enough. I do need ways to keep myself on track. For example, my husband, he has a friend who he always goes to the gym with. It’s not that he never goes to the gym by himself, he does, but it helps him a lot to have this friend who he goes with. It’s just sort of an accountability thing. It just means that he knows his friends there. If so, if he’s not there then he’s kind of letting him down or that’s probably too harsh of a wording, but you know, something along those lines. Whereas me, I was trying to get back into the gym this year for my mental health reasons, and so I was considering joining this new gym where all my friends go. I went once and it was really fun to see everyone. It kind of dawned on me thatI’m just not very externally motivated. I’m a very internal, intrinsically motivated person, so I actually don’t really need someone there. I just need to have it in my mind that this is important to me and I need to have bought into the reason why, and for me that’s good enough. And once I have that, then I just have to kind of have my mechanisms to keep myself on track. For me, I’m a little bit more of a reward system person. I think you’re like this too, Elsie. I like to have a little reward at the end of a big goal, like once I achieve it then I’m like, oh, I’m buying myself this probably new jumpsuit or whatever it is. I’m doing something, I’m taking myself out to get my nails done, whatever. I’m a little more of a rewards person and I like to set those for myself. But yeah, you might be a person who you really like to work with others, maybe you like working on teams. Maybe you need an accountability partner for certain goals. Those are great tools and if that’s something that helps you, you should do it. But they’re not necessarily for me and I don’t really think they are for you either,Elise. That’s why we thrive so much at working alone and being alone a lot, but I do like reward systems. 

Elsie: I like rewards too and for me I think you’re a natural finisher and I am not. So for me, I like to find something to help me get past the part where I failed before, which is usually, depending on what type of project, it’s usually the middle or around like day 10 when things get boring. The point where things get boring, all of the novelty is worn off is usually hard for me to get past. I’m very into starting something. In my life I’ve probably started hundreds of things that I did for one day, which is really funny. So, starting is like my happiest point and then the rest of it I have to keep myself somehow externally motivated. A rewards system is really good for me. I think that I don’t wanna rely on other people because that is just not realistic for my lifestyle. So I think I like the little rewards. Also, the other thing I really like is charts where you color in something for either each day or each milestone, however the chart goes. But I really like the coloring in charts are very helpful for me because once you get to a certain point, it’s like a little bit addictive to keep going and just like get to that completely full point. But yeah, I think that the thing I liked from the 12 year was the part about rating yourself. I think it’s a little weird, but I have done it before and I feel like I am usually a little bit harsh. But it doesn’t really matter if you’re harsh or generous, as long as you’re consistent, kind of doesn’t matter. It’s just a way to keep yourself trying to do better. And I do think that having your own accountability is so much better than trying to get someone else to hold you accountable. I’ve never found another person holding me accountable to be as effective and consistent as something I could do myself.

Emma: I also think like I just have a real, I don’t know a good way to say this, but I don’t really care what other people think that much, if I care what you think, then I do and if I don’t, I don’t. That’s just what I’ve always been like. And I think at times in my life that served me really well and at other times in my life, it’s made it where I’ve been kind of isolated. But it’s just what I’m like. It doesn’t motivate for me because if I’ve decided that’s no longer my goal and my accountability partner or whatever was like we’re still doing this. I’d be like, no, I’m not and I’m just like not motivated by outside forces. But on the rating thing, I think it’s a little weird too, but one thing I like about it is I do think it allows more. I prefer a class that is like, you can get an A or you can get an F and everything in between. I think pass fail is kind of nerve-wracking a little bit. So I like that in, at least in my world, and rating myself, I can give myself like a solid B minus and be like, Hey, it’s not so bad, but you could do better, I like that. So then it feels like you’re not a failure. You didn’t fail, but you could do a little better. You didn’t get an A and I, I like that because then it’s like, all right, I’m gonna keep trying, I’m not gonna give up on this. But I see that there’s some areas where I can improve somewhat. So I like things that have a lot of scale or a lot of gray. I don’t do as well in like black and white situations, I guess. And then really the last thing that I wanted to talk about with 12 week year was a check-in, the check-in time, which is week 13, so at the end of your 12 weeks, it’s time to check in. So a couple things to think about with that. Obviously, It’s good to just take time at the end of this timeframe or any sort of goal setting thing to see how you did to rate yourself to just check in because I think a lot of times, at least for me, maybe this comes natural for others, but for me, I’m a very forward moving person. I feel like I can finish something and I don’t even really talk about it, and it doesn’t even really register and I’ll just keep moving to the next goal. And then I’ll see a friend who I haven’t seen in a couple months and they can be like, Hey, did you finish writing that novel you were working on? And I’m like, oh yeah, I did. Yeah, that was fun, I’m working on this now. That’s what I’m like sometimes and I think it’s cool that you have a lot of goals in life, but you didn’t really take any time to, one, celebrate if you have success, so do that, don’t make that mistake. Celebrate when you have successes, because that’s what life should be full of is getting better and better at goal setting, at whatever it is that you’re wanting to do with your time. So other than celebrating your successes, I also think checking in is a good time, especially if you’re new to the 12 week year to just kind of seeing how it went. Because here’s the thing, you might get to the end of 12 weeks and realize, wow, I made way too big of goals, so I epically failed did not get them done, and not because I didn’t try really hard but because they were too big, they were too much for 12 weeks, and that’s okay, you don’t need to feel bad about that. You just need to adjust for the next 12 weeks. You need to be more realistic and you could also get to the end of your 12 weeks and be like, that was kind of easy. I was kind of done six weeks through and it’s like you could do more. You could add more to your 12 week, to your quarter goal list because yours were too easy and that’s okay too but now it’s time to readjust. As long as you’re taking stock of how the last quarter went, you’re gonna be able to better make goals for the next 12 weeks. And you can also kind of see how did life change? How did you know my goals change or anything like that. I also had this moment, so this happened to me in January of this year I got to the end of the month and I was feeling really down because I had been really sick. I was sick for like two solid weeks. I have a toddler, so I’m sick lot, just sort of part of it. It’s winter, we also had some snow days, which was really fun, but it kind of got me off of some of my goals of getting to the gym and walking more for my mental health. But what I did was I was feeling really down and then I kind of looked at my to-do list that I keep up on my bulletin board in my office and it has all my work stuff and I also put my personal things on there, just because I have it all in one place and it’s bigger than a post-it like Elsie was talking about but it’s small enough that I can look at it and one quick look and so I like that it keeps me on track and I highlight it, so that’s my coloring way of seeing what I got. .And so I was looking at it and I realized that like 90% of it was highlighted. Like I still got a lot done in January, even though I felt really crappy and I was really sick and I had a lot more days off than I was kind of planning on because we had snow days. But I realized like, Hey, actually I’m glad I’m taking this moment to take stock, because actually this month went really well. I got a lot done when I had time to work, I really busted out and when I didn’t get to work because I was sick or we had a snow day, I rested or I played with my son cuz he was home and that was cool too, that was necessary, the resting. Playing with your son’s more fun than necessary, it’s not the word I would use, it’s way more fun than necessary. It’s also necessary, but it’s not same. 

Elsie: It’s part of life right now, for sure. 

Emma: The number of times I have watched the cars movies this month is too many times, but love you Lightning McQueen. Anyway, so I think sometimes having this check-in time, if nothing else, it can kind of force you to realize that you did a better job than maybe you were thinking, or at least that’s what I notice happens for me a lot is I think I have these grand ideas and I actually get a lot done, but it doesn’t always feel so great in the moment. So when you have these times where you let yourself check in, maybe you do need to adjust. Maybe things went terribly and you need to make some adjustments, but maybe also things are better than you think and you’re just kind of hard on yourself, which is what I do.

Elsie: My first month went terribly. Yeah, you do need to adjust.

Emma: That’s okay, that’s fine too. It’s not the end of the world to adjust. Anything else? Any other thoughts you wanted to share about the 12 week year? 

Elsie: Yeah. I think when you don’t make your goals, I would say I don’t make my goals like most of the time, and I think that’s normal, especially when a lot of the goals are something big that you’ve never done before or you have a tendency of putting too many on each list. So I think for the next time, if you are a goal repeater like me, where you’re like, I didn’t make that, but I’m gonna try again. Then I think making some type of edit to try to address the pain point. So for myself, my pain point is usually it’s hard to get started or it’s hard to keep going once it gets boring, which are both different but it’s gonna happen over and over and over for the rest of my life because you only get one brain. So I think finding little ways to motivate yourself past your pain points, I think can be really smart when. You’re probably gonna have a lot of the same goals, like over and over throughout your years or similar at least. So it’s something you can definitely get better at, like tricking your own brain and putting yourself in your best possible position for success. I think that whatever you have to do for me, the little rewards are good, the little charts, but do whatever you have to do to give yourself that best possible chance.

Emma: I think that should be a T-shirt, you only get one brain. 

Elsie: It’s true. There’s so many times I compare myself to Emma because Emma is like a finisher at all costs. She finishes everything and I don’t finish probably like a 10th of the things that you do, but I don’t have a chance to live life with your brain. So, it’s like it doesn’t really matter, it’s a complete waste of time basically to compare myself to someone who has different methods. So the only methods that I can improve upon are the ones that work for me. So yeah, I think just find the things that motivate you and really use those methods.

Emma: Yeah, I do think there’s not a lot of value in comparing yourself generally, but comparing your brain since we’re on that topic to other people because it’s like you’re not gonna be that person and probably, there’s actually a lot of strengths to being yourself. There’s tons of things that I wish I was like, you more, but I’m not and I’m not gonna be, so I can just admire them about you and I will just value the things about me. Which I do think one of my things is I do like to finish things and I like that about myself. There’s other times I wish I was a little more of a perfectionist, but I’m not and there’s no chance of it. So I just have to know that about myself and just force myself to slow down. Or redo something if it needs to be redone and be more honest about that. Because I’m just not a perfectionist and I think that that’s okay, but it can hold back my work from being better than I think it could be at times. So anyway. Yep, we are who we are. Accept it and grow. 

Elsie: For sure. I think you really have to embrace what your natural strengths and weaknesses are, and then use this to get a little bit more done. But I felt like it made a big difference for me. I love the chance to have more fresh starts and yeah, I really don’t see why starting a big goal only every January, it doesn’t even make sense because January is not even the best month. It’s definitely not my prime for like anything. And it’s like also for people like us with little kids, it’s like you’re recovering from the hangover of putting on a magical holiday for your kids. Which is a lot if your home a lot. 

Emma: I think too, like most people I think, identify with this like the beginning part of any project and the goal setting time is really fun. It’s exciting cuz it’s the dreaming part, like you’re dreaming of all these things you wanna do and so you get to do that four times a year instead of just one time a year if you do the 12 week year. And that’s, I think, more fun. It’s three times as fun, it’s way more fun. Okay, so I think that’s about it on that. The next thing I wanted to talk about was the high five test. So if people haven’t heard of this maybe just tell ’em like how you heard of it, because you sent it to me, you were like, take this test, I was like, okay. So how did you even hear about it? It’s kind of like strength finder, but it’s not, I don’t know. 

Elsie: So a listener requested that we do like strength finder test and I found this test just by Googling free strength finder test. What is the actual website? 

Emma: It is high five test.com.

Elsie: And it was with a number five, high number five. test.com. Okay, so we did this, these tests, it is free. I could not get my husband to do it, but I got Emma to do it. So , that was half of a win. It gives you a top five strengths and Emma and I had like several of the same strengths which I was not expecting, but then it did make a lot of sense. And then the ones that are different also make a lot of sense. So anyway, should we read what our strengths were? My top one is Catalyst, my second one is Optimist, my third is Filo Math, which means someone who likes to learn. The next one is Thinker, and the last one is timekeeper. This was really interesting, I was not surprised that I had optimist up really high. I do think that’s one of my strengths and my whole key to success of my whole life is like believing you know, like the girl from TikTok who says, How hard can it be syndrome, I kind of have that and I’ve always felt that I could do anything that I want to do in life. And I think it’s a way my brain was born. And then a love of learning I definitely think that’s something we share. That one’s on your list too, right? Yeah. F 

Emma: Yeah Filo math was my number one.

Elsie: Were there any other ones that we were sharing? Thinker? That makes sense too and then timekeeper. This one was interesting because it said that I basically liked to race myself, which is true. My only way of getting things done, it’s almost like a little kid when you set the timer for them to clean their room, that is still how I am to this day about any goal. If I’m not on an aggressive deadline, I’m probably not even working on it. So that’s like my whole method.

Emma: I was filo math, timekeeper, focus expert, deliverer, and thinker. Focus. 

Elsie: Focus Expert is like the perfect way to describe you because I don’t think very many people would relate with how well you focus because you just like don’t get on your phone. You just don’t have a distractable brain the way that most people do. 

Emma: Well, I don’t know if that’s wholly true. I definitely get on my phone sometimes. But Yeah, I do think one of my strengths is I can focus on things. I always chalk it up to that we had to sit through so many boring sermons growing up, and I just got really good at focusing during anything. 

Elsie: We were trained in high school, during our church years, we were trained to be note takers during the sermons that was like basically the way that you show that you’re being polite and listening and I do think that was an extremely good habit of learning how to get the most out. Sermons are at least in our church, were extremely boring. I think we got the most out of it that we could, at least you can remember, like something from what your favorite part was and things like that. 

Emma: Yeah, mine also was love of learning.

Elsie: Wait, read them again. 

Emma: Basically do filo math, which again, I don’t know how to pronounce that either. That’s what I’m gonna go with filo Math, timekeeper, focus expert, deliverer and thinker and I think deliverer was not on your list. 

Elsie: Deliverer, I think this is why we’re such a good team together because I have like the catalyst and the optimist that are different and you have deliverer and focus expert that are different and I think that that’s like a lot to offer each other. 

Emma: Yeah. So I think you’re like, how hard can it be? And I’m like, well, I guess we’ll just finish

Elsie: I love it. Yeah, I hope that some of you take it. I think it was extremely accurate and interesting. I’m gonna push my husband again to take it because I just wanna understand that little brain. I wish I could push, mine’s a screenshot, so I can’t push on what catalyst means. I wish I could read what it meant, maybe I’ll look it up real fast. It means you cannot wait to start your project, you start it right away, you love starting. That sounds right. 

Emma: You love starting and I love finishing, so we’re a great team. I also thought it was funny. So it kind of has four different strength families and your things can be in any of these four families and the families are thinking, doing, feeling, and motivating and all of mine are in the thinking and doing. So I have no strengths in feeling or motivating, so if you want someone who can motivate you, I am not that person. And if you want someone who has a lot of feelings, I guess I’m not that person either. I don’t know. Obviously I do have a lot of feelings, but I don’t know I just thought that was kind of funny. I do think when I’m working or when I’m trying to accomplish, which doesn’t have to be work related like career, it could be whatever. I do think I’m very, let’s do things like I have a list. Even in being a mom, it’s not that I don’t tell Oscar how much I love him or how proud I am of him, I tell him every single day how proud I am of him. But I also think very much in terms of, okay, it’s Saturday, what are we going to do? We’re going to go get a donut. Don think that’s what we’re going to do.

Elsie: I don’t think that’s what it means though, I don’t think it means that you’re not an emotive person.I will stop in the middle of a project just to cry and you don’t do that. You know what I mean? 

Emma: Yeah. I mean, I might honestly, but I think it’s more of, how do you. I don’t know how to explain this. How do you like go through life? Because to me, it’s not that I don’t emote or have feelings on things, I just don’t think in terms of my feelings as far as like, what am I going to accomplish this weekend? Or what is my life about? I don’t really think in terms of feelings or I think of it more in what I’m gonna do and accomplish. I don’t know, but I think a lot of people do that, so I’m not really sure. I just thought it was funny that all of mine were very concentrated. I’d like to meet a person who has one strength in each of the four families, and they’re this like perfectly balanced person, but probably that’s not really even how it works. 

Elsie: Yeah, mine has four colors. 

Emma: Oh, you’re a balanced person then. 

Elsie: But I don’t feel balanced either. I don’t feel more balanced than you.

Emma: Mine is like all two colors, none of the other two . 

Elsie: Well, I’m grateful for your strengths and I think it’s sort of like Enneagram or anything. It’s just like good to know. So that you can understand other people better. So I think it’s very helpful. 

Emma: Yes, I like anything that helps you understand yourself or the world better. I don’t really like things that put us in boxes. I like to make jokes about being a certain way or whatever, but to me that’s just me being a little bit self-deprecating for fun. I actually don’t really view it that way, I think it’s just a tool for self improve because I don’t have strengths in those other two areas, I can’t be that way. I don’t actually believe that. I like to say a joke about it but that’s not actually my belief. 

Elsie: Yeah. No, I don’t either. I just know I don’t take joy in finishing, but I still know that I can, and I think that that’s just the only difference. It’s like, for sure I can do it, you know?

Emma: Yeah. How hard can it be? Like it’s hard, isn’t that what Elwood says? Yeah. I got into Harvard, like it’s hard. 

Elsie: Yeah. I wanna watch Legally Blonde, let’s do that movie. 

Emma: Yeah, we should do that for a week we watch. It’s a good one. 

Elsie: Okay, now it is time for everyone’s favorite, a joker a fact with Nova. Here’s Nova. 

Nova: A joke is, what is a polar bear in the rain? A drizzly bear? 

Elsie: Oh, I like that one. That’s a good joke. Okay, thanks Nova. 

Nova: Bye everyone. 

Emma: Thank you so much for listening, we truly, deeply appreciate all of you and all the emails that you send us every single week. If you wanna support A Beautiful Mess here are two free ways, I like to just give these at the ends of episodes. Number one, you could leave us a podcast review, it really does help us grow. They show up in the Apple areas or wherever you listen to podcasts, so it means a lot and two on our blog, either a Beautiful Mess or Childhood Magic. Anytime you see a recipe, if you could leave a five star review, assuming that you’ve done it and you know that it’s good, that also is a way that helps us grow and helps our blogs grow. So those are just two free things you can do and we would appreciate them. And if you do neither, that’s okay too. We still love you and we hope that you have a great week.

Elsie: I see all those reviews though, and I know that they’re from our podcast, listeners. So thank you so much.We’ll be back next week with a, you’ve got mail rewatch, so if you want to give yourself a little treat this week in preparation, there is your warning.

Since sharing my moving news, I have been overwhelmed by support, personal stories, and “you won’t regret its.” Thank you, thank you, thank you!

In all my years of sharing life online, this was one of the most supportive months. Our family is so excited to move into this new season. I love and appreciate you!

1. Now about that rom com closet. There is so much in this home I am going to miss. It’s not going to be easy to say goodbye.

The spaces I think I will miss most (in addition to this closet) are the movie room, the outdoor space and the Narnia library. No tears (yet)!

2. Danny Loves Pasta is my favorite person to follow on TikTok. He has a cookbook coming out this summer. I’ve never pre-ordered something so fast. Very excited!

3. Rylee and Cru has some really cute stuff for spring/summer. I got this cozy sweatshirt with shorts and this swimsuit with a matching one for my daughter (the one that’s currently into matching with me).

4. Serena & Lily is having their 20% off sale right now. I love this wicker chair. And even though I’m not in the market, I have to say this floor lamp is a work of art.

5. Next time I organize my kitchen I want to use these pretty canisters.

6. Currently watching The Last of Us and the show is pretty good, but episode 3 … WOWWW. Did anyone else think it was the greatest episode of TV you’ve seen?

I was absolutely bawling by the end, which is how I measure how much I love TV and movies.

7. This green purse is so cute. Madewell is having a 20% off sale for college students and teachers this weekend.

8. I love my cocktail shaker. I’ve been making so many new cocktails for the blog this season. I can’t wait to share them with you.

9. For our new home, I bought 90% antique lighting fixtures, but here are the ones I bought new: Metal Lanterns / Hand Sconce / Oval Crystal Chandelier / Round Crystal Chandelier.

By the way, do you think it’s weird or normal to start with lighting? Someone brought it up to me that they thought it was unique.

I think I have spent so much time in my mood boards now that it feels like I am farther along in the design process than I actually am.

10. I just got a new knife set and I feel fancy (it’s the gold!).

P.S. Here are a some recent posts in case you missed them!

• 50+ Healthy Breakfast Recipes
• Butter Slime Recipe
• Marry Me Chicken
• How To Clean Copper
• How To Make Candles
• 10 Things Sunday

Brussels sprouts are probably my all-time favorite vegetable. We make these roasted Brussels sprouts at our house at least a few times a month. They are so delicious and good for you.

Plus, this vegetable side dish can go with just about any main course you are making.

Oven roasted Brussels sprouts can be made in less than 30 minutes and only require four ingredients. The Brussels will be soft and easy to chew while the outside layers (or any loose pieces) will become crispy and so delicious as you roast them.

Related: Next, try these Crispy Air Fryer Brussels Sprouts or Parmesan Baked Brussels Sprouts.

Oven Roasted Brussels Sprout Ingredients

• Brussels sprouts
• Olive oil
• Butter – melted
• Salt – I like flaky sea salt best
• Lemon

How to Roast Brussels Sprouts

First, trim off the knobby ends of the Brussels and cut in half. Peel off any parts that don’t look appetizing, but save any that do.

Place the Brussels sprout pieces in a medium size mixing bowl. Drizzle the melted butter and olive oil over everything and toss so all the pieces get coated well. Place the Brussels cut-side down on a baking sheet. Sprinkle the salt over the tops.

Roast at 400°F for 20-25 minutes. Squeeze fresh lemon juice over them just before serving.

Love roasted vegetables? Here’s my recipe for Roasted Carrots and Roasted Asparagus.

Tips for Making Roasted Brussels

• If you’ve bought your Brussels sprouts still on the stalk, you’ll have to cut them each from the stalk first. Most often they are sold individually, as opposed to still on the stalk.
• If you want to add more flavor, you can drizzle a little balsamic vinegar reduction over the roasted Brussels before serving, or sprinkle on a little Parmesan cheese.
• If the Brussels don’t fit in one layer on your baking sheet, use a second baking sheet. If they overlap they can become more mushy and less on the crisp side, which is no good IMO.

What to Serve Roasted Brussels Sprouts With?

This vegetable side dish goes with any main course you might be making. But, here are some suggestions:

• Air Fryer Salmon
• Vodka Sauce with Pasta or Gnocchi
• Overnight No-Boil Lasagna
• Deep Dish Pizza

Print

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

How to easily roast Brussels sprouts in the oven so they are tender and crispy

Course Side Dish

Cuisine American

Keyword brussels sprouts

Prep Time 5 minutes

Cook Time 25 minutes

Total Time 30 minutes

Servings 4

Calories 113kcal

Author Emma Chapman

Ingredients

• 1 pound Brussels sprouts
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon butter melted
• 1 teaspoon sea salt flaky
• 1 lemon

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• First, trim off the knobby ends of the Brussels and cut in half. Peel off any parts that don’t look appetizing, but save any that do.
• Place the Brussels sprout pieces in a medium size mixing bowl. 
• Drizzle the melted butter and olive oil over everything and toss so all the pieces get coated well.
• Place the brussels cut-side down in one layer on a baking sheet.
• Sprinkle the salt over the tops.
• Roast at 400°F for 20-25 minutes.
• Squeeze fresh lemon juice over them just before serving.

Notes

• You can substitute the butter for more olive oil if you prefer. I just like the flavor the butter adds to this dish. 

Nutrition

Calories: 113kcal | Carbohydrates: 13g | Protein: 4g | Fat: 7g | Saturated Fat: 2g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 3g | Trans Fat: 0.1g | Cholesterol: 8mg | Sodium: 633mg | Potassium: 479mg | Fiber: 5g | Sugar: 3g | Vitamin A: 948IU | Vitamin C: 111mg | Calcium: 56mg | Iron: 2mg

The Old Fashioned is my favorite classic cocktail. I love ordering it when dining out, and I often make them at home.

I have tried several options for Old Fashioned Mix (also called Old Fashioned Simple Syrup) and after some research, I strongly believe the most delicious mix you can use is homemade.

This recipe is simple and you can whip it up and enjoy it for weeks (or even months) in your fridge. Having this mix on hand makes mixing a cocktail faster and less messy. All you have to do is mix it with your spirit, shake, and pour over ice.

Related: If you’re already making some homemade syrups, why not try our Homemade Margarita Mix and Homemade Sour Mix recipes while you are at it?!

Old Fashioned Mix Ingredients

• granulated white sugar
• water
• freshly squeezed clementine juice
• maraschino cherries
• cinnamon stick
• aromatic and orange bitters

How to Make Old Fashioned Simple Syrup

In a sauce pan, combine 3 cups sugar, 2 cups water, and 1 cup freshly squeezed clementine juice. I used 5 clementines and a citrus juice hand press to juice them.

Next, add 5 maraschino cherries cut into halves and stems removed. Add one cinnamon stick. Let the mixture simmer on medium heat until the sugar has completely dissolved into the water.

Next, remove the mixture from the heat and let it sit to cool and for the flavors to steep for one hour.

After the ingredients have steeped for one hour, add aromatic and orange bitters. I used about 50 drops of each bottle, or you can measure out 1/2 tablespoon of each bitter type.

Use a fine mesh strainer and a funnel to decant your syrup into a glass bottle. I used this bottle set for mine.

As a finishing touch, you can use rubber stamps to create a label like I did. This is especially useful if you are getting ready for a party where guests will serve themselves, or if you are making more than one type of syrup.

Tips for Mixing an Old Fashioned

• To mix an Old Fashioned using this recipe, combine 2 ounces high quality bourbon and 1 ounce of mix. Stir and pour over a large ice cube to serve in a whiskey glass.
• Garnish your drink with an orange wedge and a maraschino cherry.
• If you are in the market for glassware that works great for an old fashioned, these glasses are great for whiskey cocktails.

An Old Fashioned Pairs Well With

Other recipes you may like:

• 20 Easy Party Appetizer Ideas
• 5 Tips for Creating the Perfect Cheese Platter
• Favorite Homemade Brownies

FAQ

Print

Homemade Old Fashioned Mix

Homemade mix recipe for making an Old Fashioned cocktail.

Course Drinks

Cuisine American

Keyword cocktail mix, old fashioned, whiskey

Prep Time 5 minutes

Cook Time 5 minutes

Steep Time 1 hour

Total Time 1 hour 10 minutes

Servings 12

Calories 212kcal

Author Elsie Larson

Ingredients

• 3 cups granulated white sugar
• 2 cups water
• 1 cup freshly squeezed clementine juice 5 clementine oranges
• 5 maraschino cherries
• 1 cinnamon stick
• ½ tablespoon aromatic bitters
• ½ tablespoon orange bitters

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• In a sauce pan, combine 3 cups sugar, 2 cups water and 1 cup freshly squeezed clementine juice (I used 5 clementines and a citrus juice hand press to juice them.

  Next, add 5 maraschino cherries cut into halves and stems removed. Add one cinnamon stick. Let the mixture simmer on medium heat until the sugar has completely dissolved into the water. 
• Next, remove the mixture from the heat and let it sit to cool and for the flavors to steep for one hour.
• After the ingredients have steeped for one hour, add aromatic and orange bitters. I used about 50 drops of each bottle or you can measure out 1/2 tablespoon of each bitter type.
• Use a fine mesh strainer and a funnel to decant your syrup into a glass bottle. I used this bottle set for mine. As a finishing touch, you can use rubber stamps to create a label like I did.

  This is especially useful if you are getting ready for a party where guests will serve themselves or if you are making more than one type of syrup.

Notes

• If you don’t have clementines, you can uses oranges as a substitution. 
• If you prefer to add the cocktail bitters to each drink individually, omit them from this mix recipe. 

Nutrition

Calories: 212kcal | Carbohydrates: 54g | Protein: 0.2g | Fat: 0.2g | Saturated Fat: 0.01g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.01g | Monounsaturated Fat: 0.01g | Sodium: 3mg | Potassium: 44mg | Fiber: 0.3g | Sugar: 53g | Vitamin A: 43IU | Vitamin C: 10mg | Calcium: 8mg | Iron: 0.1mg

Just to be clear, this is pea soup made with frozen green peas. If you are looking for split pea soup, then follow that link. While their names may be similar, this pea soup recipe is very different.

This soup is on the thinner side and tastes bright and refreshing. A perfect hurry-up-spring soup IMO.

This pea soup is the perfect first or second course for a longer meal as it’s light. This is not a heavy, thick soup recipe. That being said, if you want to make this more filling simply add toasted croutons or a grilled cheese sandwich to dip.

Related: Looking for more soup recipes? Here are 35 comforting soup recipes.

Pea Soup Ingredients

• Olive oil
• Butter
• Shallots
• Garlic
• Salt and pepper
• Thyme
• Red pepper flakes
• Peas – frozen works great!
• Chicken broth
• Lemon

How to Make Pea Soup

In a medium sized pot, heat the oil and butter over medium heat. Add in the chopped shallots, minced garlic, thyme, red pepper flakes and a little salt and pepper. Cook for a couple minutes until the shallots have softened.

Then add in the peas and stock. Continue to cook for 4-5 minutes until the peas can easily be mushed with a spoon (you can test this right in the pot). Then use an immersion blender to blend everything together.

Taste and add more salt and pepper if you think it needs it. Then squeeze fresh lemon juice over the top just before serving.

Optional: Add a splash of cream or little grated Parmesan. Also, croutons are my go-to for this soup recipe.

Tips for Making

• If you don’t have an immersion blender, you can puree the soup in a blender or food processor. Just take care when you transfer the hot soup from the pot to the blender.
• If you want to make this pea soup vegan and/or dairy free, you can substitute the butter for more olive oil and the chicken stock for vegetable broth.
• I have never made this recipe with fresh peas, but I think it would work just fine. Frozen peas are more available and accessible for me, so that’s what I always use.

Serving Suggestions

If you are looking for a great salad recipe to serve with this pea soup, try one of these:

• Easy Broccoli Salad
• Lemony Kale Salad
• Sushi Salad Recipe
• Farro Side Salad

Print

Pea Soup

a light and refreshing soup recipe

Course Soup

Cuisine American

Keyword pea soup, soup

Prep Time 2 minutes

Cook Time 18 minutes

Total Time 20 minutes

Servings 2

Calories 387kcal

Author Emma Chapman

Equipment

• immersion blender

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 2 shallots
• 4 cloves garlic
• 1 teaspoon thyme
• ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 12 ounces frozen peas 2 ½ cups
• 2 ½ cups chicken stock
• salt and pepper

US Customary – Metric

Instructions

• In a medium sized pot, heat the oil and butter over medium heat.
• Add in the chopped shallots, minced garlic, thyme, red pepper flakes and a little salt and pepper.
• Cook for a couple minutes until the shallots have softened.
• Then add in the peas and stock. Continue to cook for 4-5 minutes until the peas can easily be mushed with a spoon (you can test this right in the pot).
• Use an immersion blender to blend everything together. 
• Taste and add more salt and pepper if you think it needs it. Then squeeze fresh lemon juice over the top just before serving. 

Notes

• If you don’t have an immersion blender, you can puree the soup in a blender or food processor. 
• Option: Add a splash of cream or little grated Parmesan. Also croutons are my go-to for this soup recipe.

Nutrition

Calories: 387kcal | Carbohydrates: 42g | Protein: 18g | Fat: 17g | Saturated Fat: 6g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 2g | Monounsaturated Fat: 8g | Trans Fat: 0.2g | Cholesterol: 24mg | Sodium: 491mg | Potassium: 850mg | Fiber: 11g | Sugar: 16g | Vitamin A: 1608IU | Vitamin C: 74mg | Calcium: 78mg | Iron: 4mg