His Holiness Pope Leo XIV has woken up in an orange jumpsuit after JD Vance declared him an enemy of America this morning.

The Vatican has confirmed it has reluctantly introduced a full celestial blockade on Americans attempting to enter Heaven, following what officials described as “a frankly exhausting series of comments” from Donald Trump.

With the Michael Jackson biopic ‘Michael’ coming to cinemas on the 22nd of April, fans are dusting off their ‘he had a difficult childhood’ defence in preparation for the film's release.

A new government housing report has left the UK’s buy-to-let community stunned this week, with suggestions that, in certain circumstances, some investment properties may be used as 'homes'.

From now on Pope Leo will be notified about any new insults from Donald Trump by looking up to see orange smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel chimney.