Political editors Chris Mason and Beth Rigby had to be dragged away from a helpless delivery driver after they pinned him down and demanded answers about Keir Starmer.
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An irate Donald Trump has demanded that America’s NATO allies deploy a cruise ship currently experiencing a hantavirus outbreak to the Strait of Hormuz as the president grows increasingly desperate to break the ongoing stalemate with Iran.
Facing increasing pressure to resign, Prime Minister Keir Starmer has re-appointed Peter Mandelson as a last-ditch attempt to increase his popularity.
Labour to fix everything by replacing Keir Starmer with someone precisely as popular as Keir Starmer
Labour insiders have confirmed the party is preparing to solve its catastrophic collapse in popularity by replacing Keir Starmer with another senior Labour figure who is expected to become equally unpopular within roughly eight months.
Nigel Farage has insisted it is “purely coincidental” that he has spent much of the last 18 months aggressively promoting cryptocurrency after receiving a £5m tax-free gift from crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne.