Newsthump

A man with £17 in savings has welcomed the government’s decision to preserve the £20,000 annual cash ISA allowance, describing it as “a huge weight off my mind”.

Britain’s gherkin fetishists have declared yesterday’s Budget an unmitigated success, insisting the removal of import tariffs on their favourite pickled vegetable represents “a government finally getting the big calls right”.

Nigel Farage has reaffirmed his readiness to lead Britain through an increasingly dangerous world, after missing the Budget because there might have been an unpleasant conversation about where he could sit.

Donald Trump has intervened to stop ICE officers from questioning Flávio Bolsonaro, after they mistakenly assumed the President's warnings about foreigners fleeing criminal investigations in their own nations included people he likes.

Self-described British patriots have condemned Britain’s justice system after Tommy Robinson was found guilty of harassing two journalists, in an outrageous example of a British jury applying British laws to someone they like.