"My grandfather sold real estate for decades. The first two things he looked for were these..."

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"I guarantee any family who owns this has a queer child who doesn't talk to them anymore."

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I think a "Mad Men" marathon in this house just might solve all my problems.

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"It's already very dated and, frankly, tacky and cheap-looking."

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"This new sleek, modern, lifeless, boring, WHITE everything is so anxiety-inducing. I don't wanna walk into my home and feel like I'm in the lobby of an office building."

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